I'm always wondering: What is the world? Its essence? Entity or Feeling?

For example, ripe apples are red, but red is only the feeling of light reflected into the human eye, and it is only a very small range of light. Perhaps in the eyes of most creatures, apples are not red. The red of apples in the dark also makes no sense. If there were no people, the red color of the apple would be meaningless.

Another example is that ripe apples are red and raw apples are green. Suppose in a person's eyes, red is cyan, and cyan is red, then he mistakes red for cyan and cyan for red in his life. But throughout his life, he has no effect on others, others on him. Outsiders are incomprehensible, and the whole world is incomprehensible.

Is my world the same as someone else's?

If there is another creature that can receive ultraviolet rays, infrared rays, and even all light, all senses, then what is the difference between his world and ours?

……

I'm talking so much nonsense because I want to say that this is what it feels like to take this pill.

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At first, my heart was beating faster and faster, and I felt like I was almost dying!

Later, I noticed that my heart rate slowed down.

Later, I realized that my heart rate wasn't slowing down, it was just slowing down — it felt slowed down, but it was beating at a rapid pace all the time. Well, I don't think I'm clear.

Everything can only be felt, not expressed in words.

That is, my senses have slowed down – or quickened – and I don't know what I'm talking about.

I saw that Hong Ah San's movements were getting slower and slower, and his voice was getting thicker and thicker, and finally he was still, and his voice was only vowels, humming "ah", "huh", "uh".

The sweat on my face dripped down, and I saw it dripping down slowly, and the acceleration was definitely not ten meters per second, but probably a few centimeters per second, and I could even catch the sweat bead and drip it again, catch it again, and throw it out again.

The clock on the wall almost stopped, and it seemed that it took a dozen seconds for the second hand to move a small divide.

At this point, my heartbeat was normal.

What I mean by normal is sensory normal, but it's actually abnormal. In my senses, my heart is still beating at 80 beats per second. But I've already explained that it feels useless, and I have to use the clock on the wall to calculate, because the clock doesn't change.

I did the math, and the second hand of the clock on the wall jumped a small bar, and my heart beat a thousand times, which means that my heart rate was 1,000 beats per second.

This world is not my world.

Thought they didn't feel at all.

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The whole body is stiff, the blood vessels are as hard as wire, and the blood is hot and dense like magma.

I used to only feel the wind blowing on my face, but now, I can feel the wind blowing every hair on my face.

I have thousands of hairs all over my body, and I have thousands of feelings in my head, and each one is different.

I recalled every minute and every second of my twenty-five years, and all the memories came flooding back to me, even the incident of playing with maggots in the pit one day more than ten years ago - I even counted that it was eighty-two maggots......

I went outside.

I felt the air holding me back, cutting through my skin like a knife.

I punched the wall, and the brick wall showed a big hole, and the rubble slowly floated out like petals, and I didn't feel any pain at all, but I felt very excited.

I looked at the four-metre-high roof and felt like a staircase on the ground.

I squatted down and picked hard.

I could feel the bricks on the ground shattering as I stepped on them.

I jumped to the roof of the yamen at a height of four meters, and I ran on the roof at a high speed.

Once, I didn't believe in cornices, but now, I do, because I'm walking on cornices.

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I saw Wang Yuquan and Zhang Kangning, who were walking under the eaves, and they were looking at me.

The funny thing is that not only are they not as fast as I can turn their heads, but they can't even run as fast as I am.

I ran from west to east, but they didn't take a single step.

I heard the whispers of hundreds of people in the compound—I could tell the difference between each one, complaining about his wife's cheating, getting drunk and talking nonsense, snoring, and a few talking about going out into the street to rob.

I saw a frog frozen in the air, I ran past it, and it was still in the air.

I saw that the wings of the bees and dragonflies no longer vibrate.

I felt the rustling of every insect in the grass.

I heard the crops jointing.

I hear butterflies breaking out of their cocoons.

I saw the sound of bats.

I hear the glow of fireflies.

It's a strange situation.

I feel incredibly confident.

I even have a bloodthirsty mentality of killing everything.

What I feel is God.

I wanted to stop, but I couldn't because I was out of my control.

So which is the real me?

What is my significance?

I was thinking about these illusory things, and everything was blurred, like a dream, or an illness.

Perhaps, when I woke up and got better, I opened my eyes and found that in the small village of Luobei in the Central Plains, my father and dog Yu'er were standing in front of my hospital bed......

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I woke up and saw Wang Yuquan and Zhang Kangning for the first time.

They took my hand and said, "Chief! How did you get out of town? Why are you so emaciated? ”

I had a splitting headache.

It was a kind of heart-piercing pain, as if it made me lose all the color of the world, and made me feel that "life is worse than death, meaningless". I put it in quotation marks to emphasize that I really want to die right now, like depression.

I looked around, it was the palace I was familiar with.

I thought about it for a while before I understood what was going on.

Me: "What's the situation?" How do I get to the palace? ”

Wang Yuquan: "What's the situation?" I'm going to ask you! We were chatting and spreading after eating, when suddenly we saw a dark shadow flying from the roof, like a bullet, and scared us to death. I thought there were assassins, so I went to count the numbers and found you missing. We searched all night and found you fainting at the city gates, and we hurried you to the palace. Are the beggars trying to kidnap you? ”

I shook my head and said, "Not a kidnapping. Be...... It was I who went to spy on the Assassins. I saw a dark shadow running out, and I went after him. As a result, he was knocked unconscious at the city gate. ”

Zhang Kangning: "Damn, I knew it was an assassin of the Beggar Gang, and they still didn't admit it!" Beggars gang these bastards, let's go destroy them! ”

Me: "Not their assassins. If they wanted to kill us, they would have killed us a long time ago, so why bother looking for assassins! ”

Wang Yuquan: "Who is that?" ”

Me: "I didn't see it clearly, but I guess it's Zhao Zhengbao's person." We won't talk about the Assassins. ”

Zhang Kangning: "Boss? You used to be really a member of the Cow Gang? ”

Me: "! I'm from the Central Plains, those who use it to deceive people! ”

Wang Yuquan: "Hehe, it's very well written, and it deceived us." ”

I don't know how this story came up, maybe I'm born to think about it.

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Inner Court assembly.

I told Liu Xingchao, the head of the inner court, about this, of course, I didn't say anything about being a peerless master for three minutes.

I concluded by saying, "The beggars are a big joke. There are a lot of them, but they're all rubbish. The most powerful weapon I've ever seen in a beggar army is a pig-killing knife. Any army kills them, like a tiger kills a rabbit. The question is not whether the tiger can kill the rabbit, but whether the tiger can find the rabbit. If the foreign dynasty wants to fight, let them fight. But I can guarantee that they won't find it. ”

Liu Xingchao said: "This group of guys who eat soft and are afraid of hard in the outer courts, let Lianghe, Liaodong and Lingnan not fight, and beat people to beg for food, look at this point!" That's it, they fight if they like. ”

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For the past few days, I've been thinking back to my three-minute career as a master.

I only remember a state of mind that was excited and conceited, but I forgot all the reasons for this excitement and conceit.

It's like drinking, you're done drinking, and you feel like you're amazing. Actually, it's just alcohol to anesthetize and deceive your heart. You're not great at all, on the contrary, you're very mentally retarded and small, you don't do anything, just drink a little wine, and you feel great about yourself.

There is an idiom that describes this situation – self-deception.

Or like smoking a big cigarette. Many people in the Ming Dynasty smoke big cigarettes, and even the imperial court has a big tobacco department, and they make a lot of money. Big smoke is another type of alcohol, a more serious alcohol. I haven't smoked big cigarettes because I know that big cigarettes are just as much a form of self-deception as alcohol. I had to drink, but I never smoked.

But I do want that feeling, I want it again and again!

I thought, it's over, I'm addicted, it could be an ancient poison. In ancient times, there was a kind of cult called "poison cult", and the followers ate poison as if they were crazy. However, like all cults, they were wiped out by the Inner Court and the Forbidden Army—and now only the Demon Cult remains.

Perhaps, it is really a poison, but it just makes me feel like a martial arts master, like drinking and smoking a big cigarette.

But the problem is, that feeling is too real! Moreover, Wang Yuquan, they did find me at the entrance of the city. Is this poison or not? Is this one real? What the hell is all this going on?

I tossed and turned, and I couldn't sleep at night.

So I went to find Li Yuyao.

If there is anyone in this world who understands this, it can only be her.