My name is Millet and I am a princess of the royal family. I lived in a time of constant war and disease, but none of this had anything to do with me. I still eat Gyokuro delicacies every day, served by maidservants, and protected by guards, and I don't know what bitterness tastes like. My father and brother were busy with war, so no one cared about me, and I could wander around the bustling capital at will, and my days were free and happy.

One day, my father came to me and said to me: "Xiaomi, you are not young, and it is time to get married. "But father, Wan'er doesn't want to marry yet!" My father's face suddenly became serious, I had never seen my father look like this in front of me, as the king of a country, although he was extremely majestic to his courtiers, he always loved me, and I could be coquettish at will when I was with him. But this time it seemed to be a little different, and after the father was silent for a while, he finally spoke: "You must listen to me this time, go and clean up, and come to see me later." Father burst out of my room with these stiff words, and resolutely left my room.

I was summoned to the court, and at first I wondered, why did my father need to be above the court if he wanted to see me? When I entered, I found that many ministers were sitting on both sides of the court, on one side was Hu Qiu's costume, which was naturally the Huns, and on the other side was my familiar robes, all of whom were important ministers of my father's emperor. It's just that there is an extra man about twenty-eight or nineteen years old on the right side of the father, with rough eyebrows, a bearded face, a strong body, a mink fur coat on his body, and a leopard skin hat on top.

"Prince Nuchi, this is the little girl Xiaomi, she will be your person in the future, can you still be in your eyes?"

"It's beautiful, it's beautiful."

The prince of the Huns, who was called Nuchi by his father, looked at me with a fire of desire in his eyes, and his stunned appearance made me want to laugh. But I didn't laugh, I was angry: "I don't want to marry, and I don't want to be a princess anymore." "I ripped the jewel off my head, turned around and left.

"Someone, escort the princess into the study and keep watch closely." Helpless, I gave in, I knew that it was useless for me to struggle, for a weak woman like us, even a princess was just a fish to be slaughtered, "Let go of me, I can walk by myself." ”

There was a vague conversation between my father and Nu Chi behind him, "I have no way to teach my daughter, so I didn't offend the prince!" "No, no, I like such a princess, haha, wild and very individual." "When I get to your land, I hope to bear with me...... The little girl is willful...... Come, drink ......" "Hahaha, drink ......".

When I was in the study, I suddenly thought of the revolver, the man who gave me my first love and my deepest love, and he hasn't come back yet! But if I marry Prince Nuchi, the war will subside, and he will be able to return home safely, and I won't have to worry about his safety anymore, but will I ever see him again? Annoying, annoying!

The phoenix crown is covered with a phoenix, a fragrant car and a BMW, so I embarked on the road of harmony and became a sacrifice in the war between the two countries. My heart is like ashes, but I don't blame my father, I know his difficulties, the strength of the Xiongnu has increased in recent years, if you don't live in peace, in the end my father's country will not be guaranteed, and my father's subjects will .......

I remember that the day I left was unusually sunny, the clean and tidy streets of Jinling, the clear and clear rivers and lakes, and the soft and lovely grass beside the road, and those people who were safe and happy in the capital, all made me full of nostalgia. There is a thrush chirping in the cage, its voice is very desolate and tactful, it must want to fly freely! Later, in my memory, I always repeat the song of the thrush.

The northbound carriage began to bump my dreams as the road gradually became bumpy, and the shadow of the left wheel vaguely appeared in my dreams.

The revolver is the father's favorite general, and we didn't know each other at first. My real acquaintance with him was kind of dramatic. Once, I escaped from the palace with the maid Chun'er and disguised ourselves as civilians, we were crazy like wild girls on the street, enjoying the pleasures of civilians, but I naturally grew a face that made men want to commit crimes when they saw it, so I got into trouble that day, and was surrounded by several hooligans, and just when I was most helpless and wanted to die, the revolver appeared.

However, Revolver did not appear as a heroic image, he was quite embarrassed that day, he had just returned from the battlefield, he was very seriously injured, lying on the back of a horse and could barely move, but he still relieved me, in the chaos he was kicked a few times by those hooligans, he could barely stand, but he still asked with concern: "This girl, are you okay?" "His voice is so good, I remember his face at once, he said that his name is Revolver, he is the general of the emperor today, asked me where my family lives, to escort me home, I said that my home is nearby, no need thank you. He then got on his horse with great difficulty and said, "See you later." Then he left.

When I returned to the palace, I didn't tell my father about it. It's just that I always have the face of a young man in my head, yes, he is the revolver. He was very heroic, but he spoke very gently, which was undoubtedly a temptation for me, an ignorant girl who rarely came into contact with men, and perhaps I had liked him since then.

While Zuo Lun was recuperating at home, I sent someone to keep an eye on his whereabouts, and received news that Zuo Lun would go to the place where I had been "besieged" from time to time in the afternoon, and one afternoon, Chun'er and I escaped from the palace and went to that place.

Revolver looked a little surprised when he met me again, he limped over: "I didn't expect to meet you here again, what a coincidence, they didn't trouble you again!" "I can't help but want to laugh in my heart, this is a fool, this is a coincidence, this is purely designed by this girl. Also, he actually said the word "wow", which is quite cute! In fact, at this time, Revolver was already a "veteran" who had fought on the battlefield for many years, and he was twenty-five years old, a full six years older than me.

We had a very happy afternoon that afternoon, Zuo Lun told me anecdotes and cruelty on the battlefield, and I told him about the life of the common people in Jinling. I found that whenever Revolver talked about fighting on the battlefield, there was always a little pride and some kind of pain suppressed in his eyebrows, and I knew that this was his glory as a warrior and his pity and forbearance for life. He was a brave warrior, but at the same time a compassionate man. I was deeply moved.

Later, we met secretly a few times, and we were so happy that we wanted to go on like that, but in the end, my father knew about it, and I couldn't hide my identity anymore. When Zuolun knew the identity of my princess, he suddenly looked very lost, but I told Zuolun that I love him, I have asked for my father's consent, as long as I defeat the Xiongnu, I will recruit him as a concubine, but before defeating the Xiongnu, I and Zuolun can not meet again. Zuolun said: "Xiaomi, wait for me, I will definitely kill the barbarians." When he said this, there was a determined light shining between his eyebrows, and I was moved to tears by his seriousness and determination, and in front of him, I could cry at will, and I could be coquettish at will without worrying about my status as a princess.

The wind lifted the curtain, blowing my face, waking up my dream, and also blowing away the face of the revolver, I looked out the window in a daze, it was the scene of the desert, the north wind whimpered, the yellow dust was reckless, I thought, my youth and love may be withered here.

Nuchi was not bad to me, and to be honest, he was very handsome, which was a little different from the vulgar appearance of the other Huns, and he built a palace especially for me, which was furnished in the same way as when I was in my hometown. When I came, I also brought some palace maids and some guards, and finally I still felt a little at home, so as not to seem too lonely.

I am somewhat relieved that the war has subsided and that the people are living in peace again. Revolver has also gone home, I don't know if he thinks of me. In the desert my life lost faith and yearning, although the grassland is vast, but this does not belong to me, I am not used to eating beef and mutton here, I am not used to the barbarism of the Huns, they always exude a taste like cattle and sheep. I suddenly missed the streets of Jinling, the rock sugar gourds on the street, the juggling on the street, the scenery on the street and the people on the street.

Nuchi had sex with me every night, his wild body aroused my latent desires, my youthful passion was ignited, and this was the only thing that made me crazy and obsessed, I tried to cater to Nuchi, but in fact my heart was not in him, my heart crossed thousands of waters, looking for my general, he said, he wanted to fight off the barbarian and marry me, how could he break the contract?

During the day, I danced and sang for Nuchi and his generals, and I was able to play the piano, chess, calligraphy and painting with ease, but I never smiled, but even so, I knew that my dancing charmed many people. This went on for a few years, but just as my desires were at their peak, Nuchi began to grow cold to me. I know it's my unscrupulous stomach that is always the fault of my flat stomach, and maybe the absent-mindedness of having sex, and I know that men care a lot about it. I'm lonely again, and I've lost even the last bit of happiness. Maybe people like to think cranky when they are lonely, I began to think about the revolver, the cordyceps flowers and birds in Jinling, and imagined that one day the revolver could lead his army to rescue me from this dark fortress. It was during my loneliest days when another man walked into my world. His name is Zhou Tong, and he was originally my father's personal guard, and then he followed me to the desert. In the desert days, I knew that he had been paying attention to me all the time, but because of each other's special identities, he didn't dare to say it clearly, and he dutifully guarded my safety.

Because I have always been accompanied by Nuchi, I did not pay special attention to him, but now I have examined him, and found that he is quite good-looking, and very burly, on his face I vaguely see the shadow of the revolver, which made me have some kind of hallucination for a while, I thought that the revolver, which I had been thinking about day and night, came to me, and I thought that I was about to get out of the sea of suffering. One night I had a drink, I slept with Zhou Tong.

In fact, my relationship with Zhou Tong only lasted one night, because I found that when he was galloping in bed that night, something was faintly squirming in my stomach. Yes, I am pregnant, I am pregnant with Nuchi's child.

I told Nuchi about her pregnancy, and he seemed excited, but I could still vaguely see the indifference between his brows. In the days that followed when I regained my passion, I relived the care and warmth that Nuchi had giving. Eight months later, I gave birth to a pair of dragon and phoenix fetuses, and I named my son Sizuo and my daughter sister-in-law.

I didn't have children before, and I didn't even have any faith except for building a false and distant love in my heart, but now that I have children, children are my faith, and I am no longer keen on the affairs of men and women. Maybe it's because of the fading of lust and love, and Nuchi finally doesn't come to my place very often. He had several clans (阏氏: the title of the wife and concubine of the Huns), and he could find the happiness she wanted in them. I don't care, with children, I am no longer lonely.

Although I am a big man, because of my late pregnancy, there is a prince who is still older than my child. As I watched my two children grow up, hope rose again. Since I was a child, I told my children about the country in the south, the hometown that I dreamed of, and I told them that the land of fish and rice in the south was their real hometown and homeland, and they must return there in the future.

The leader of the Xiongnu, who was Nuchi's father, died, and Nuchi succeeded him as Shan Yu. By this time, my two children were sixteen years old, and they were all very beautiful. However, it was at this time that I found that Shan Yu was training his army more and more diligently, and I knew that the covenant with my relatives was about to be torn apart. I sent Zhou Tong to secretly deliver a letter to Jinling, telling my imperial brother (whose father was dead) to tell him to step up his precautions, saying that Shan Yu might move south in the near future.

However, Shan Yu remained unmoved, and I didn't care for a while, and I began to think about the question of the prince's succession. Nuchi has always been close to Sizuo, and what he values is another prince who is older than Sizuo. I must find a way to get rid of my son's threat. After careful planning, I finally took advantage of a bewitching palace maid who had recently been recruited from the southern kingdom to create the illusion that the prince had died suddenly after drinking alcohol. I could see that Nuchi was grieving, and he was suspicious of me, but he couldn't do anything to me because he didn't have hard evidence. But in the autumn of that year, Shan Yu finally waved his army south.

I wrote another letter, in which I wrote, "Zuolun, remember our agreement, I really want to go home, you must come and save me." "I asked Zhou Tong to send this letter in secret, and asked him to deliver it to the left wheel in person.

Shan Yu's battle did not go well, because the soldiers in my hometown were already ready for battle. However, the war is a war after all, the beacon is full of fire, mourning is everywhere, and it has returned to the appearance of the front of the family, which I do not want to see, but the war between the Xiongnu and the Han people is inevitable, and sooner or later there will be an end.

The army led by Zuolun was extremely brave, and they chased the Huns all the way to the desert, and I don't know what it was like in my heart. On one side is my husband, and on the other side is the general whom I love so much, and I have lived in both places for nearly 20 years. If the revolver is my ideal of love, then Nuchi has given me a home and brought me two children. To the south is my childhood and girlhood, full of sweet and innocent memories, and the desert, though desolate and lonely, feels more like home, and I don't know where to go.

News came from the front that Shan Yu had died in battle. Nuchi is dead! I didn't grieve but suddenly lost faith in life. The Han army continued to march into the desert, and in the panic, the advisers of the Xiongnu supported Sizuo as Shan Yu and continued to resist as their leader.

Sizuo did not resist the mighty army from the south, perhaps because he did not want to resist at all, because I told him that he was a descendant of the southern kingdom, and that his grandfather, my father, was a wise monarch, and that he should not fight against my family.

I finally saw Revolver again, but he was already dying. In fact, he could have returned victorious, he could have gone home to enjoy the honor and reverence he deserved, but he received my letter, and he single-handedly ran to save me, and because he was outnumbered, he was stabbed by the Huns' guards. Zuolun, why are you still as stupid as you were at the beginning, why don't you even want your own life, you know, if you don't come, maybe I will stay in the desert with peace of mind and will be old for the rest of my life.

"Xiaomi, you are finally still waiting for me, I finally killed the barbarian. We can go home today, let's go home! Do you know, I've been waiting for this day for 20 years...... I got it... Pick up... You...... Go home! After saying this, the revolver closed his eyes forever, and at that moment, my tears finally couldn't hold back and wet my cheeks. Revolver, don't go, don't go, don't go, how can you be so ruthless! ”

Hurriedly buried the revolver, I escaped from the palace where I had stayed for more than 20 years with my concubine under the cover of Zhou Tong, and there was the response of the imperial brother's army not far from the palace, and I finally returned to the hometown of my dreams.

His son Sizuo stayed in the desert and continued to be his Shan Yu, and he reached an agreement with the imperial brother that the Xiongnu would resume annual tribute to the south, and the south was also obliged to protect the Xiongnu from the invasion of other states, and the south also promised not to take the initiative to invade the Xiongnu. The war finally subsided.

She wore the bride's dowry, she was so beautiful, yes, she was a real princess, and I could vaguely see the shadow of my youth on her face. The prince who married him was the son of Zuo Lun, and this marriage was also a long-cherished wish of Zuo Lun, and he had explained to his family before he set out on the expedition that if he could not come back alive, he hoped that his son could marry my daughter Zuo Lun. Now that our children have walked into the palace of marriage hand in hand, can he see the left wheel?

My aunt and the son of the revolver saw each other like old friends, which made my heart finally settle down, looking at their little couple of happy and sweet looks, my face bloomed again after twenty years.

I stayed in the south for a while, and every afternoon I would unconsciously go to the place where I first met the revolver and sit in a daze for an afternoon. During that time, I traveled everywhere I visited as a child and as a girl. Every street, every river, every place that was once filled with laughter and laughter has reprinted my footprints. I looked at the happy life of the people of Jinling, and suddenly felt that I was so redundant. Maybe I was left out of life in the first place. I don't belong here, I don't belong to this world, I only belong to the revolt, and I belong to the unrealizable but perfect love in my heart.

I went to the desert and didn't tell anyone, I didn't go to see my son, Sizuo is doing well now, I went to the appointment, my left wheel is still waiting for me in the desert, I can't make him feel lonely. It was a moonlit night, I lay quietly beside the revolr, I fell asleep, my dream was full of the softness of the water town in the south of the Yangtze River, on that familiar street, there was a heroic general, he was my revolver, he was waiting for me, he was waiting for me to go home.