"Why? Why would he rather hide outside the walls and kill people than see me...... He knew that I was leaving for him, so why did he hate me......" I held the wooden cup in my hand tightly, tears overflowing my eyes little by little. Mingyi poured himself a glass of wine, leaned over and tapped me lightly on the forehead with the rim of the glass: "You stupid girl is so stupid and funny, you deceived people to the end, and even believed yourself." Wake up, if you have time to dig out your mind and calculate others, why can't you wipe your eyes and see yourself clearly first. ”

"I know what I do, and I know why I do it." I wiped my eyes vigorously and looked up at Ming Yi, "At the end of last summer, Master sent someone to send a letter to Lu State, saying that the Qing Xiang in Xinjiang City was critically ill, Zhiyao was waiting for an opportunity to seize power, and the northern tribes were ready to move and urgently needed to be appeased. has no mercy on me and doesn't want to bear me, but if he wants to keep the Zhao family, he must marry the northern Di clan as the son of Zhao. In such a situation, if I do not leave, I will inevitably become an obstacle to him. He loves me, he pities me, and I ...... I don't want to embarrass him. ”

"What a woman with deep affection." Ming Yi raised his head and drank a full glass, smiled and put his face in front of me, "Your reason is really good!" Under the eyes of the wolves, you leave him alone in the wolves and run away on his own. Qing Xiang is seriously ill, Zhi Yao is making things difficult everywhere in the court, and a group of brothers in the Zhao Mansion ignore foreign enemies and intrigue every day and want to eat his flesh. Meng Tan is dead, Ah Yu is abolished, Bolu is sick, Wuyin dominates Tianshu and refuses to transfer power, at this time, you drugged him and fled alone. Didn't you ever think you should stay? Didn't you ever think that with you, he might find a better solution than marriage? You haven't thought about all of what I'm talking about. All you think about is running away, and you can't wait to leave him behind when he needs you most. ”

Ming Yi's words shot straight at me like sharp arrows, and I was shocked and angry in my heart, but I couldn't find half a sentence to refute.

Seeing that I didn't speak, Mingyi continued: "Happiness and pain, the latter is always more difficult to forget. Wu Feng hurt you back then, even if you have no love for him now, you still have the scar he branded. Over the years, even if you are with Wuxian, you are always ready to get out of the way. You are afraid that he will abandon you for the sake of the throne, so you go, and you must abandon him before he fails you. You never believed in Him, no matter how much He gave you and how much he promised, none of this could fill the wound in your heart. You left for your own sake, and that's the ugly truth. ”

Mingyi's voice was buzzing in my ears, and I tried to make sense of what he meant, but my mind was chaotic like a pool of muddy water that had been disturbed.

"Why don't you speak? Do you admit that I'm telling the truth? Mingyi leaned back, looking surprised and distanced himself from me.

I turned my face away, gritted my teeth, and said, "Don't pretend you understand me, you said it, we're not that close." ”

"Hahaha, I naturally don't understand you. I was told this by a drunk. If he is wrong, it is also drunken nonsense, and you should not take it seriously. Mingyi rolled up his sleeves and poured me a full glass of wine, and I turned my head in a daze, and my eyes happened to meet an intriguing smile on the corner of the beauty's mouth.

This is said by Wuxian, and all Mingyi told me today is Wuxian's drunken words?!

For more than a year, I thought that Wuxian hated me because he was foolish, and only foolish people would believe my clumsy lies that day. But I was wrong, he knew it, and he knew better than anyone why I was leaving. He hates me because he has long seen through my heart. In the end, I lied to myself, but I didn't fool him......

The room was silent, no one spoke, and the green smoke from the charcoal burning made my eyes burst into tears. I stiffened to my feet and silently walked out of the room under the watchful eyes of Beru and Mingyi.

Why didn't I choose to face the dilemma with him? Why did I leave him and run away the day after the marriage? Me and him, who gave up who first......

The autumn breeze was bleak, the leaves were falling in piles, and I sat under the paulownia tree on the bank of Yunmengze for a long afternoon, watching the turquoise lake being dyed red by the setting sun, and watching the orange lake light swallowed up by the darkness little by little. I remembered the night on the shore of the Falling Star Lake, remembered that he rode a horse and drove me through the bamboo forest in the dark night, and remembered the bright starlight that filled the lake under the sky after he removed his hands...... I think of his smiling eyes on the night of the wedding, I think of his lips that murmured my name, I think of the night later, he woke up from his sleep, no sweet words, not honey words, just looked at me in a daze, and then closed his eyes and smiled and sighed: "Great, you are still ......"

Am I wrong? Maybe what he said to me in the thatched cottage that day was sincere, he wanted to be with me, he would fight for me and Zhao Ying, we would get married, and we would have three children...... He was so afraid of my departure, and he tried to get me to stay in his own way, but when I saw Shi Mo's letter, I had already decided to leave. I didn't even try, I chose to give up on him.

He should hate me. What did he do when he woke up from his coma that day? Did he tear the wedding dress I left behind? Did he swing his sword and cut through the cold bed? Did he set fire to the thatched cottage where we were married?

What will he do, what will I do to him, to myself......

I clasped my legs and buried my head deep in my knees. Whatever my reason for leaving, I don't think he'll ever forgive me......

"Won't you come into the house? It's getting cold outside. "When the moon rose over the lake, Kuroko appeared behind me with a jar of wine.

"I'm not cold, I want to stay here a little longer." I lowered my head and wiped my tear-soaked eyes back and forth on the hem of my clothes twice, and then looked at the sunspot beside me with a smile, "What's the matter, did your master tell me to go back to cooking?" ”

"No, it was Mingyi who asked me to come and see you. He's already made dinner, and tonight you can try his handiwork. Kuroko sat down beside me with the trunk of the paulownia tree, and I moved to the side to make room for him to rest his feet, "How are you doing all these years?" Why didn't you come to Jin Kingdom to see me? I asked.

"Ming Yi said, you became Tai Shimo's apprentice soon after you arrived in the Jin Kingdom, and later became the god son of the Jin people, brother, I didn't have any face, how embarrassed to look for you." Kuroko lowered his head and rubbed his hands back and forth against the stoneware jar containing wine.

"What kind of reason is that? Forget it, say forget it, and I won't blame you. ”

"Who said I forgot," Kuroko raised his voice and stared at his two small eyes round and bright, "In order to be worthy of your brother, I really made a plan." Lie to you, this is what I am. Kuroko looked down and picked up a black-shelled beetle on the ground and shook it in front of my eyes.

"What are you going to do?" I took the poor beetle and put it in the grass.

"I thought that one day if I became the best warrior of the Gen hexagram, I would take Tianshu's best sword to see you in Xinjiang City."

I looked at Kuroko's mature face and childish expression, and a smile appeared on my face unconsciously: "Then your goal must have been achieved by now." The Lord and Mingyi seem to value you very much. ”

"What's the use, when the master returns to Tianshu, he must not be trampled on the soles of his feet by your stinky girl." Kuroko pursed her lips and muttered quietly.

"What am I stepping on you for? Besides, I won't stay in Tianshu for a long time, and I'll come back when I'm done helping Mingyi deal with some trivial matters. ”

"Liar, you still want to hide from me? The Lord has spoken to me. ”

"What did you say?"

"As long as you return to Tianshu this time, you will be the main business of the trigram. In the future, the new son of the Zhao family will become the sect master, and maybe you will become the lord of Tianshu. I said, why are you so good! You don't have to practice swords, you don't have to kill people, you don't have to play two pieces of mouth, and you will desperately smash all good things on your head. Brother, why don't I have this luck? ”

Lord of the Heavenly Pivot...... I smiled bitterly and snatched the wine jar from Kuroko's arms, raised my head and took a sip: "When I am stoned to death by these good things you say one day, you will not envy my good life." ”

"Stinky girl, you and Zhao Wuxian, uh, no, you and Zhao Shizi are really separated? Did you really marry him and dump him again? ”

I swallowed a sip of bitter wine and stood up on Kuroko's shoulder: "Let's go back, the wind is blowing a little cold." ”

"Oh, good." Kuroko knew that he had asked something he shouldn't have asked, so he quickly patted his ass and got up, "Mingyi's dinner should have been ready." You'll finish eating later, and I'll send you back. ”

"When are we going to Tianshu?" I asked.

"I'll get a carriage tomorrow morning, and I'll be out after midday!" Kuroko shook the grass clippings off her body, and bent down to pick up a thorn thorn tied to the hem of my skirt for me.

"Okay, I'll pack my things at home tomorrow and wait for you." I said as I walked in the direction I had come.

The night mist on Yunmengze was swept by the wind and spread across the open field, and a plain white moon appeared and disappeared in the sky behind the thick clouds. One step, two steps, three steps, when the sound of the waves in my ears faded away, the open field seemed extraordinarily quiet. The wind blew through the flowering miscanthus grass, and the fine, long sound was Yun Mengze's last gift to the departed person who was about to travel far away.

I enjoyed the silence, but Kuroko couldn't stand the silence. He drew his sword, and in a moment he slashed at the half-man-tall miscanthus beside him. The little sparrows, who had been sleeping peacefully in the grass, were awakened one by one, and they all scrambled to flutter their wings and jump out. I let out a long sigh and reached out to hold down the hilt of his sword: "Tell me about the five tones, what did Ming Yi mean when she just said that she was usurping Tianshu and refused to transfer power?" ”