I was upset.

Rao is a person like me who has seen the world, and the mentality here is also up and down like angry waves.

But everything will be calm, because time will heal all the scars.

After more than ten days in the screening class, I guess I already understand it all—even if I don't understand it, I understand it.

What else can I do? I've scolded others, I've scolded myself, I've scolded the world above, I've scolded the underground world, I've repented, I've explained, what do you want? Want to see me kill myself?

I'm sorry, but I didn't kill myself.

Even if I knew I was a meaningless mole cricket, I wouldn't kill myself; Even if I knew it was a meaningless world, I wouldn't kill myself; Even if I knew I was going to die, I wouldn't kill myself; Even if I knew that the Son of God had made up a deception, I would not have killed myself. Even if I knew I should kill myself, I wouldn't kill myself!

This is because theories explain facts, not facts. Here's the thing: I don't want to kill myself. Therefore, all theories that should be suicidal must be fucked out.

But I'm really depressed!

In the world above, I think I am smart, I think I am superior, I think I can see better than others, so I always like to reveal the cruel truth; Even in the underworld, I can see better than people – but I can't tell!

The facts are so brutal that I can't tell the brutal truths.

I don't talk anymore every day.

The people of the underworld don't know it, they don't know the truth - I mean, they think they know the truth, they think they live because the Son of God is testing them - and of course I don't know the truth, for example, I don't know the detailed structure of the underworld, who is the real boss, what the second and third floors do, where the salt comes from, where the hot water comes from, what the hell lake is, where the wood comes from, where the oil comes from - but I know where the food comes from.

I don't eat these days and I'm losing weight deeply.

I watched as the people who worked hard to build the wall desperately blocked the poisonous gas of the "Hell Lake", and then drank the broth happily; I see people loving each other and giving more broth to the sick; I see people exercising, and they all say the words "don't forget each other......

-

-

14788 had just finished filling the pit and was eating.

I said to him, "I didn't believe in Buddhism before, and I think the Buddhist cycle of cause and effect is a ridiculous nonsense. What do they say: 'The grandson marries the grandmother, the pig and the sheep sit on the kang, the six relatives cook in the pot, the woman eats the mother's meat, and the son beats the father's skin drum.' 'You think, how is this possible, it doesn't make sense logically!' Only fools believe it! For example, if a person is reincarnated, he can be reincarnated into a pig, he can be reincarnated into a mouse, so may I ask, can he be reincarnated into a flea? Can he be reincarnated into bacteria? Look at my middle finger, such a little finger, there are tens of billions of bacteria in it, and 4 billion people around the world can be reincarnated into my nail cover! ”

I gave him my middle finger up.

He wondered, "What is a bacterium?" ”

I continued, "Now I finally understand the true meaning of Buddhism. And tens of thousands of years ago, the Buddha already saw the true meaning of this world! Each of us will become someone else, and each other person will become us – this is the real cycle of cause and effect. You go to the butcher's shop and see, there are so many pig faces on it, we are human beings, it looks nothing, what if we are pigs? We died, we became dirt, we became grass, we were eaten by pigs, and pigs were eaten by us! That's how the Buddha saw the world! That's from the heart! And we mortals only see it with the naked eye. Buddhism teaches us not to eat meat, which seems to be meaningful! However, I don't think Buddhists should be vegetarians, because vegetarian food is also meat......"

He wondered, "Are you a Buddhist?" You don't eat meat? Then let me eat your food. ”

I smiled wryly and gave it to him.

He smiled at me.

I was about to speak, 6578 came over and kicked me: "14721! Shut up and come here! ”

I glanced at 14788, who was munching and swallowing, and went out with 6578.

-

-

6578 glared at me and said, "The people who were transferred to the screening class with you have committed suicide, and you are still alive with a dead face!" I'm very optimistic about you, maybe this position will be yours in the future. Don't talk nonsense all over the place, though! Because the boss stipulates that whoever dares to tell the truth will kill him! Not only kill one person, but kill everyone in the class! ”

Yes, this tone is the same as the tone of the court and the senate. They stipulate that wherever there is a technology that cannot be used, it will be killed.

I said, "Chief, I know!" I was bored, just talking, they didn't understand. ”

6578 said, "If they knew the truth, what do you think would happen to them?" ”

Me: "What else?" Suicide? ”

6578: "Most of them commit suicide, and the rest will go crazy, like wild beasts." ”

His eyes looked into the distance, but there was deep darkness in the distance, and there was nothing.

At this time, I suddenly remembered Zhao Zhengbao's old lady again.

6578: "In the beginning, it was all naked violence. The bosses slowly put it all in order. Now, except for a few people, such as the screening class and the warehouse class, no one knows the truth of this world. As hypocritical, cruel and fragile as it is, this is already the best-case scenario. ”

Me: "How long have you been here?" ”

Him: "Ten years! ”

Me: "Oh my God! You're such a senior! ”

6578: "I've been here for ten years, ten years, ten years in the dark." I forgot what my name was, I thought about it...... Oh, by the way, my name is Li Youfu. That's the name my uncle gave me, because he picked me up. At that time, I was the deputy leader of the Salt Gang......"

Me: "The Salt Gang?" Are you from the Salt Gang? At that time, did the imperial court start to provoke private gangs? ”

Li Youfu: "The private gang is the night pot of the imperial court, you can use it when you want to use it, and throw it away when you don't want to use it!" I made a lot of money at that time, and I gave a lot of money, but Zhao Guangxin wanted more, so he replaced me and threw me here. ”

Me: "Former Prime Minister Zhao Guangxin? Haha, he was killed by the former head Li Yongfu! ”

Li Youfu: "I didn't expect you to be a well-informed person." That's right, it's that damn Zhao Guangxin. He was the one who hurt me! He blackmailed me for hundreds of thousands of gold dollars, and then tortured me, and wanted more. I just wouldn't give it, and he threw me down. ”

Me: "Cause and effect cycle, tried and tested!" I knew that there were no good people in this world! ”

Li Youfu: "At the beginning, I was furious, I spent every day in anger, you don't know how many people I killed at that time - I am a martial arts master!" At first, I hated colluding with Zhao Guangxin to frame my Salt Gang Protector, but one day, he was also thrown down and fell to his death. Then I hated Zhao Guangxin, and then I learned that he was dead. And then I hated the emperor, and as a result he also died! In the end, I hate Da Ming, but Da Ming is finished! Now my goal is to ...... Go out and see my daughter'......"

I laughed, "Haha...... You...... What a naïve ...... I still want to get out! ”

Li Youfu suddenly asked me, "Do you have faith?" ”

I was confused: "No." Do you have one? Why is this so, you ask? ”

Li Youfu: "Do you understand what faith is?" ”

I pouted, "Faith is believing in something untrustworthy." ”

Li Youfu: "To outsiders, faith is to believe in something untrustworthy. But for those who believe, faith is faith itself. My belief now is: I can go out, I'm going to go out to see my daughter. ”

Me: "You also have a daughter?" ”

Li Youfu: "Yes, I have a daughter. I used to have a wife, but she died. I used to beat and scold my wife, really...... But what's the use of regretting? When I left my daughter, she was not yet a year old and had just called me daddy. Luckily, I sent her to Yunnan before the accident, where there are not many wars......"

Me: "Yes, Yunnan...... There are primeval forests everywhere, and you can't get through, so you have a fart fight. But it's a blessing in disguise, and now that the world is in turmoil, Yunnan has become a holy place for refuge. ”

Li Youfu: "Before, I had no goal, and I was extremely miserable every day; But now I have faith, and I live every day with a spirit that I should eat and drink. Even if it's hell, I'm going to live like heaven because I'm definitely going to go out and see my daughter's church. Nothing can shake my resolve. ”

He patted me on the shoulder: "Don't be discouraged, live on." Your heart is in heaven, and you are heaven; Your heart is in hell, and you are in hell. ”

-

-

I remembered what happened to me and my dad.

Dad laughed at me: "You daydream every day!" You're clumsy! You're a piece of trash! You're a psychopath! You can't do anything! ”

I laughed at him: "You're the one who can't do anything!" You don't even dare to daydream! You're a big piece of rubbish! You can't even ask for a woman, you just want to control me! ”

My father scolded me: "Unfilial descendants! ”

I said to him, "The Father is not the Father, and the Son is not the Son!" Not what you taught yet! ”

He hit me, and I was in pain, but I just didn't cry.

Later, he hit me, and it didn't hurt anymore.

Later, I guess if he hit me, he would hurt himself.

We quarrel with each other, and the two of us get angry.

We insult each other, and the two of us get angry.

We fight each other, and the two of us get angry.

That's how we've been for 20 years.

Can I feel that he loves me?

I don't know.

When he scolded me, beat me, insulted me, I didn't feel it.

But I was hungry, and he made me food; I wanted to read, but he spent all the money to buy me books, but he couldn't eat steamed buns himself; Others called me insane, and he dragged his weak body to fight; When I was sick, he carried me dozens of miles to the county seat, begged people to see a doctor, knelt on people's knees, and made up ridiculous reasons, saying that the whole family was dead, and there was only one lone seedling left......

I think he loves me. We are people of heaven, but we live the life of hell.

I was reminded of the words of the preachers. They said, "Two people died, one went to heaven and the other went to hell." But Heaven and Hell are exactly the same, they all eat with a long spoon. The difference is that the paradise one eats well and people feed each other; And in hell everyone is hungry, because everyone only feeds himself, but the spoon is too long to eat. ”

I laughed at the cultists: "You can eat with a spoon, stupid!" ”

The believer looked at me and said, "You're in hell!" ”

I thought they were annoyed, but I didn't expect them to be right.

My dad and I made up hell for both of us.

We can choose to love one another in heaven; And we chose to be in hell, torturing each other every day.

-

-

I'm going to get out alive.

I'm going to see my father, my mother, my friends, I'm going to go all over the world, and I'm going to kill anyone who thinks they're gods!"

As for the underworld, it's tragic enough here, they shouldn't know the truth. Leave all the truth to me, let all decisions be made by me, and let all the consequences be borne by me!

My belief is: I can get out alive.

I don't believe that the Son of God took me out, I just believe that I will go out.