People gathered.

I stood on a high place and said loudly: "I officially announce, I have changed my name!" Lao Tzu will not be called Dongfang Ju in the future, it will be called 'Chen Ju'! ”

Wang Yuquan: "Boss, the law of the Ming Dynasty stipulates that the name must be more than three words, because two words are easy to duplicate the name." ”

Me: "Lao Tzu is just two words, if you are not convinced, you let the Ming Emperor arrest me!" ”

Now that they have rebelled, what can they do if they violate the Ming Dynasty's "Name Law"?

Zhang Kangning: "Change your surname? Are you going to be the emperor? No, there are too few of us, wait ......"

I was taken aback: "Call you the emperor!" I'm just changing my name to commemorate my dad and my mother! What's the matter with the emperor? How dare I call myself the emperor with more than 10,000 soldiers? If you are emperor today, you will not live to live tomorrow morning! ”

Zhang Kangning nodded and gave a thumbs up: "Build a high wall, accumulate grain, and slowly become king!" ”

I yelled, "What are you talking about? In order to commemorate the discovery of my father, I just changed my name. It's just a name change, it doesn't mean anything else, don't think about it! Okay, it's okay, adjournment! The army immediately marched north. ”

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Dongfang Mingyue ran over angrily, still holding her son on her chest.

Her: "Why did you change your surname?" ”

Me: "Because my father's surname is Zhao...... Uh, because my father's original surname was Chen, and wait, my father's original surname was Zhang. Actually, it's because my mother's surname is Chen...... Well, in fact, my mother's surname is not Chen, because she is a maid who was bought...... Because...... Uh,, you don't care what my last name is! Lao Tzu has whatever he loves! ”

Dongfang Mingyue: "Bold! You swore in my house, you swore never to change your surname for the rest of your life! Your mouth is full of lies. ”

I pouted: "It's a pity, before you swear in your family, I also made a general oath: I don't even swear in the future." So, swearing in your house doesn't count as swearing at all, I'm not lying. ”

Dongfang Mingyue: "You can't be stable, change it!" ”

Me: "People have two choices, either they don't change at all, or they change forever. The former are called conservatives, and the latter are called liberals. I never knew what the 'mean' was, the so-called 'mean' was all lay people who had no roots. It's like every dynasty talks about 'Zen makes sense' when it was first founded, but after the establishment of the dynasty, what do they talk about 'monarchs, ministers, fathers, sons', hypocrisy? Disgusting no? ”

Dongfang Mingyue: "Are you sick?" Tell me this! I'm just talking about changing my surname! ”

Me: "Similar to this, I have two options right now. If I were a conservative, I would be called 'Zhao Da Niu' because that's my original name. If I'm a liberal, then I can call me whatever I want, and change my name every day, can you control it? Either way, 'Oriental Colt' is not the final name. ”

Dongfang Mingyue pointed at me: "I knew you were a slut!" People in the Central Plains are like this! I don't know loyalty at all, three family slaves! ”

I said solemnly: "I officially announce that Lao Tzu is now the only descendant of the Chen family in Qicheng, one of the twelve families of the original Tianzi. I'll be from Shandong in the future, and I have nothing to do with the Central Plains, so remember! I come from a much nobler background than you! You little warrior! You Northerner! You barbarian! ”

Dongfang Mingyue: "Your father is a monk, your mother is a maid, you grew up in the Central Plains, and your household registration is also in the Central Plains, you dare to say that you are from Shandong?" Do you lie without blushing? ”

Me: "The Chen family is all dead, so the monk and the maid are the only Chen family, and their son, that is, me, of course, is the only eldest son, what is there to doubt?" As for myself, I treat the 23 provinces of the Ming Dynasty equally, and I look down on all of them, and it is impossible to discriminate against this one and that. In fact, I myself am very sympathetic to the people of the Central Plains, when there is a war in the world, the first unlucky one is the Central Plains, so what is the matter with the Central Plains? I also like Hebei people because they are more free. On the contrary, I have always hated the people of Shandong, and I think they are too stupid and loyal. However, what's the use of liking it or not? People in the world don't like the Central Plains, saying that they always rebel; I don't like Hebei either, saying that they are too fierce; They like Shandong people the most, saying that Shandong is the most loyal. Therefore, I decided to be a Shandong person, not a Hebei person and a Central Plains person. Since everyone in the world is deceiving themselves, why should I deceive them? Now, are you satisfied with my answer? ”

Dongfang Mingyue pointed at my nose: "Dongfang Ju, you are the most unprincipled person I have ever seen!" ”

I was furious: "I've never heard of any 'Oriental Horse'." Look at my mouth shape, my name is Chen Ju——, from birth to the present, I have always been called Chen Ju, I have lived in Qicheng, Shandong since I was a child, and I am the only descendant of the Qicheng Chen family, one of the 12th families of the former Tianzi! Listen to me, and don't make mistakes in the future! You Xiliang barbarian! ”

Dongfang Mingyue was about to hit me, and I quickly flashed.

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In the evening, I had a drink with my dad.

In the past, I always drank secretly because my dad wouldn't let me drink. Although he was a heavy drinker, he always said that it was wrong to drink, so he wouldn't let me drink - don't you say he's shameless? Do what you do and don't let others do it!

But now, I'm rebelling with more than 10,000 forbidden troops, and he can't manage that much.

I poured my dad a drink: "Daddy, drink some more." ”

Dad: "Okay! ”

Me: "Dad, I've changed my last name!" My name is Chen Ju now. ”

Dad: "Whatever you want." When I was younger, I used to play a lot. ”

Me: "Haha! You're not afraid of killing heads? ”

Dad: "I wasn't afraid before. What are we doing when we are alone and afraid of death! cut off his head, and eighteen years later he will be a good man again! But after having a wife and children, I was a lot of cowardice. ”

Me: "Well, that's why I don't want children, because I don't want to be responsible." ”

Dad sighed too.

Me: "What is my mother doing in Shandong?" What are you doing in Shandong? ”

Dad: "Your mother is so stupid! I don't care about the life or death of the Chen family, I told her that the Chen family in Qicheng, Shandong Province are all fools and liars, and they deserve it! They're finished, don't worry about this, you are a maid bought by the Chen family, and you are not a member of the Chen family. But she had to take care of it! She said that she was born as a member of the Chen family and died as a ghost of the Chen family! At the beginning, she didn't want to leave, so I held you with my left hand and her with my right hand, and took you two out of the ruins of the Chen family. She has always wanted to go back to Shandong to take revenge, but she sees you too young and can't bear it. On your tenth birthday, she was gone. ”

Me: "Revenge? Just her? ”

Dad: "Your mother is stupid, but she is loyal and persevering." She went to Qicheng, Shandong alone, washed clothes for people every night, and walked the streets and alleys to publicize during the day. ”

Me: "Propaganda? What to promote? ”

Dad: "It's the 'monarch, minister, father, son' thing in Shandong." ”

Me: "What are you doing with that thing?" The government gave her money? ”

Dad: "What's the matter! Not only did he not give her money, but he also asked her to pay taxes! ”

Me: "So what is she doing here?" ”

Dad: "She makes everyone loyal, so that the Chen family can be rehabilitated." However, the "History of Qicheng in the King James Dynasty" has been changed, and everyone doesn't know that there is such a family as the Chen family in Qicheng, so everyone thinks your mother is a crazy person, so they ignore her. Hey, stupid people have stupid blessings. ”

Me: "Mother, it's too much! He actually came to Qicheng to do such a stupid thing, and he didn't even care about us! She also said she was going to change me. She wants to swap out the eldest lady's son and me! This is to kill me! ”

Dad: "Don't say that. Your mother was taught to be stupid in Shandong since she was a child, but she is very good. How good my mother is to you! She fled from Qicheng with you in her arms, there was nothing to eat on the way, she had no milk, you bit her nipples and sucked all the blood in! Your mother doesn't say a word, let you suck blood! ”

I scratched my head, "I really don't know. ”

Dad: "Before you were five years old, your mother hugged you every day, watched you, and even took you to take a bath. She would rather not eat or clothe herself, but also let you be fed and clothed. On your tenth birthday, she suddenly told me that you have grown up, and she wants me to take good care of you in the future, and she wants to go back to Qicheng to take revenge. I was drunk and my mind was not clear, so I didn't take it seriously. When she left, she sewed all the gold and silver jewelry she brought from Qicheng into your clothes, and then she didn't bring anything and walked to Qicheng alone. I wanted to go to her, too, but I was scared! As soon as I closed my eyes, I saw the sight of hundreds of planes bombing Qicheng! ”

Me: "Mother's life is ...... Ay! How could I be so different from her? Maybe she really changed it secretly, and I am the son of the eldest lady of the Chen family in Qicheng. ”

Dad: "Look at your face!" Look at the dustpan and bucket in your hand! You look at your three spins, you look at my three spins. What is it about you that you are different from me? You're carved out of the same mold as me. You say you are not my son, who will believe you? ”

Me: "Maybe you have a leg with Miss Chen." ”

Dad: "Haha. I want to come every night, but people don't want me. Hey, if she wants me, I'll sneak her out. It's a pity that she didn't want me, so she died. ”

Me: "Good thing she doesn't want you." If she wants you, I'm gone! ”

Dad: "Haha. ”

So we got drunk.

Although I am not the son of the eldest lady of the Chen family, although I am only the child of a monk and a maid, it doesn't matter, because I declared:

I am the only son-in-law of the Chen family in Qicheng, Shandong, my mother is the eldest daughter of the Chen family in Qicheng, and my father is a son of the Zhao family in the Central Plains.

Anyone who doesn't admit it, he's going to die!