......

The salty smell of the sea rushed to his face, and his body felt the suffocation of the cold darkness, and he slowly fell into the abyss at the bottom of the sea, and his thoughts were fading, and it seemed that only despair remained.

I... Qiu Xuanming... Perhaps I received the retribution I deserved, and no matter how much I tried to make amends, I was still judged for the sins I committed.

My body was submerged in the sea and I lost my balance, and the pressure made me unable to breathe, and the pyroxene in my hand was shining at me, but the brilliance did not belong to me.

Because I... There is no tenderness anymore......

But there was still something I wanted to do, I wanted to transform into that gentle and fierce posture again, so I laboriously and painfully raised the pyroxene in my hand, but there was no response, and then I was slapped on the head by a stream of cold water, which made me subconsciously spit out the little oxygen I had left.

The scene in front of me gradually blurred, and my chest was stimulated by the inhaled seawater, which made me see the marquee before I died.

When did I lose my gentleness and strength?

Yes, that day, during the winter break of high school......

I was born into a fairly wealthy family, why? Because my father is a government official, the family's income is not bad, even if my mother died early, the family is still harmonious and there is no big problem.

Before her mother passed away, she gave birth to a younger sister, whose name was Qiu Shuang, who was very cute and cheerful, but I don't know why, she had congenital heart disease, she couldn't exercise vigorously, and she could break out at any time, and every time she suddenly was on the edge of life and death, as long as there was a little mistake, she would pass away.

In order to prevent her from accidents, her father placed her in a hospital, but because of this, she did not receive a formal education, and she had to lie in a hospital bed every day, accompanied by a cold machine, and fight death. Regardless of spring, summer, autumn and winter, wind or rain, it has been like this 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

When I see such a scene every day, I feel pitiful, because it is obviously a good year, why spend it in a hospital bed? Isn't it too cruel to have to face the fear of the sudden loss of life every day......

I was really afraid that one day this lovely sister would suddenly die of illness, and I often went to the hospital after school to accompany her, teach her to read, and teach her to write.

But she's really optimistic, at least I see that her smile doesn't have the fear of death, maybe it's a smile to hide her fear? But I can't remember what day it was, she told me.

"How pitiful is it to go through each day with fear and worry? I don't know which day I will die, but I still greet each day with a grateful heart and a smile of longing for the future. ”

As she said this, she made a deep impression on her smile, and I might have been cured by my sister lying in the hospital bed.

It's hard to go to junior high school, and I'm the class president, and I often have to help the teacher manage the students and so on. Even though I was facing them with the gentlest side of my ability, they were still resentful of me and often complained to me.

Even so, they listened to me and said I was a nice guy..... I don't know how to understand their words, isn't it natural to be gentle with others and gentle? At least that's what my father said to me, be a gentle person.

Even so, their lack of cooperation still made me tired, and every time I went to the hospital to talk to my sister about these things, she would always say to me with an envious smile, "Is it? I'm looking forward to learning! I'm looking forward to making friends! So if my brother is not old-fashioned, maybe he can be welcomed by everyone~ After all, my brother is a very gentle person! ”

I don't know whether to cry or laugh when a little girl says she is old-fashioned, but I still remember that every time I taught her to read and write, she would smile and say to me, "Thank you, brother!" It would be better if you could treat everyone the same way you would treat me. ”

Even though her life was in danger at any time and she would die before she knew it, she still had hope and meaning in life, and even if she couldn't be discharged from the hospital, she always thought about me.

I think my sister's philosophy makes a lot of sense, and instead of complaining, we should meet each day with hope and anticipation. So, try to relax with your classmates as much as possible, try to solve the troubles of others, and help some people who can't live independently like my sister.

I can really feel very happy, especially when I smile like my sister and say "thank you", I feel that I will definitely be okay, and as long as there is tenderness and expectation, I can make the world brighter.

But...

But......

But light also breeds darkness, for this world, gentleness is meaningless, no matter how gentle people will eventually be crushed by reality and become selfish, because only in this way can they survive.

There are no good people in this world, and it is not the original nature of human beings to be good, because no matter how kind a person is, he will become bad, and it is difficult for a bad person to become a good person.

Yes, the day of change is the day I abandon meekness.....

My father came home that day in a gloomy mood and told me that he had been framed by a colleague and had lost his position as a government official, and that his life might be difficult for the rest of his life......

The sister I thought of at first was that the huge cost of ward care could have been borne by my father when he was a government official, but after my father lost this position, how should my sister be treated? How can she live?

Why would a person who was so gentle and good to his father be betrayed? Why does bad luck befall us? Is it gentle... Is it really impossible to resist this cruel world?

Lost her financial resources, her life became tight, and her sister's nursing expenses gradually became unsupportable, and the luxurious ward, which was intact at first, was also transferred to the general ward, and even became worse and worse, and finally even the nurses did not want to take care of it.

Having money is the truth......

I was upset by this kind of thing, and I was worried about whether my sister would die alone every day, so my temper became a little irritable, and I often scolded my classmates, but they heard about my family's difficulties, and they understood my feelings, and even found a way to initiate donations.

I didn't tell my sister about my father's dismissal, for fear that she would have a burden that would affect her condition, and she seemed to be aware of something but didn't mention it very sensibly, even if her life got worse, she was still looking forward to tomorrow and smiling.

I don't understand why this situation, the situation that will die at any time, is still full of anticipation for life? As for smiling on days like this? Maybe he was too anxious about his sister's situation, didn't teach her to read anymore, and even lost his mind and lost his temper with her sometimes.

My sister was not angry, and even comforted. She's really sensible...... If she recovers, everything will be fine.

Finally, this expectation was answered, and an internal medicine expert was able to save my sister, and there were cases of cure abroad, but the cost of treatment is now unaffordable.

My father sold the family's house, and we moved to live in a very uncommon slum in Shimmer City in exchange for money, and the school also launched a donation, and my father and I finally managed to scrape together enough money for treatment through part-time work.

I was glad to think that my sister would be able to go to school and live like an ordinary girl from now on, and I used the little pocket money I had left to buy a magazine for her and tell her about it. She was also very happy and enjoyed reading the magazine.

The day before the surgery was Christmas, and I wanted my sister to take her out for a walk on the street without any psychological burden, but the request was rejected as a matter of course. But after the evening rounds were over, I sneaked into the ward and took my sister out into the street at night.

Brilliant holiday illuminations, snowflakes slowly falling in the air, sparkling in the light under the lights.

This is the Christmas street scene, looking at the endless stream of people and the colorful lights hanging overhead, I can't help but exclaim, "How beautiful!" Did you see that? ”

"yes, it's beautiful." The sister behind also sighed, but her voice was weak.

"Right? I also think it's great for you to see it! First of all, go buy a gift, no matter how expensive the gift is, I will buy it for you, brother... But I have a lot of money in store for this day! Then let's go have some fun! I don't know much, but I'll take you to a delicious restaurant for dinner! ”

After that, I was talking and walking alone, and my sister was just panting and smiling. Now that I think about it, it was the stupidest decision I made, because my sister, who was about to have surgery, couldn't bear the cold of winter at all, and just kept holding on for me......

When it was time for the next day's operation, everything was ready, but the doctor did not inform me, and when I went to inquire, I found out that the official who had framed my father had come to the hospital and called the best doctor, the doctor who operated on my sister.

He dragged the doctor to prevent him from leaving, and said that he had heart pain, and the doctor also examined him because of his rights, and the result was that he was too fat and did not exercise, so he only felt pain after running two steps.

Obviously, there is not much of a problem but dragging the doctor, but ......

My sister fell ill at that time and eventually died in agony......

The persistence so far had lost all its meaning, and I knew that her illness had something to do with the fact that I had taken her out on the street last night, and I hated myself as well as the official. If he hadn't dragged the doctor over a trivial matter, his sister would have been treated.

She's not going to die!

If she dies, what is the point of my gentleness so far? What is the point of the money we have saved for what my father and I have suffered? What's the point of paying compensation from the hospital? She's dead and can't come back!

Damn it! Why is this happening? We..... What exactly are we doing wrong? Why is gentleness and kindness retributed? Why do those who have dirty, vile and filthy means have the last laugh? Just because they have money, just because they have rights?

But even if that's the case, it's a human life! That's my favorite sister!

Yes! Yes.......

The tears had already flowed, and because of grief and anger, he lost his mind and went to settle accounts with the official, not only was he beaten covered in blood, but he was even extorted a sum of money by the other party for attacking the official.

I don't even have the money to bury my sister, so I can only find a barren land everywhere and bury it with loess, so that she will disappear with the land... Oh, it's ironic, I have expectations for life, but I was betrayed......

At this point, I completely despaired of life, and I didn't know what to aim for in life. I can't be interested in everything, and my life is much easier, so I was admitted to the No. 1 Middle School in Shimmer City.

After my sister was gone, I couldn't see that smile anymore, and all that was left in my mind was the pain before she died, and her face gradually buried by the loess. At that time, my father didn't blame me or anything, but he was angry that he didn't use himself for not giving my sister a tablet, and he didn't blame others for coming to this field, and he was still as gentle as ever.

But... Is this life of the walking dead really alive? Why should I live? Has lost the purpose of living, is it so that the father will no longer worry? But I know that my father is the same as me, he is for me and I am for him, and the two of them have considered each other to live until now.

How long will this life last? Until I avenge my sister? But how is it possible to defeat an official with a poor person? Those who are oppressed will also be concealed and threatened, and in the end there will only be incompetence and rage.

I don't know what day three years ago, I was sitting on the bridge in the park and blowing the wind, and I met her at that time......

A girl named Mu Yanxue, she thought I was going to jump into the river and pulled me down, and asked me what difficulties I couldn't get over? Although she didn't want to deal with her, she still told her what happened to her, and she said something like this:

"In that case, you have to become stronger! Become stronger than that official! That's how people will value you! So insist on surviving, become excellent, and don't let this happen again. ”

It's obviously a word of encouragement, but I misunderstood the meaning, but it was this sentence that was the goal of life and abandoned gentleness, became desperate, and did not hesitate to use any means to pursue power and become stronger.

I know I'm being "devoured" too, but the feeling of being desperate is really exciting, and it's more enjoyable to bully others than to help them!

Knowing what the official was doing, I ended up being like that, but so what? As long as it is not our family that is hurt, it is enough, there is only success and victory in this world!

As long as there is money and power, that is the royal road, that is justice!

But human desires, like a flood, will eventually drown you in the icy waves......

That's right, just like it is now.

In fact, I now understand that there is nothing wrong with gentleness, so why blame others for the fault and not reflect on yourself? It was I who killed my sister, because I was not gentle, but weak......

True gentleness is the coexistence of kindness and fortitude. Be gentle as the moon when dealing with others, and as fierce as the sun when faced with oppression!

Now this situation is in front of me again, just like the officials oppressing my sister, that guy... It's also oppressing everyone and depriving me of everything......

I want to fight back, I want to lose those again, I want to protect everyone......

"If you can hear me now, please give me strength. I want her to smile again, I want to protect what little is left, even if there is an abyss in front of me, I will never back down, because that is the real brave! ”

"Remember, protect the most important lives with a loving heart, and resist with a strong heart when you stand against those vicious enemies! I feel your heart, I feel your gentleness and strength, and now ...... Let's go for it! ”

The body was moisturized, and the pyroxene in his hand turned back to the same light as the sun and the moon, but the body of the rod was no longer cloudy black, but as calm white as moonlight.

This is how I have found the treasure of tenderness, I want to atone for my sins, I want to protect the important things! So even under pressure, even if my mouth and nose are filled with icy seawater, I still hold it high and shout in the dark:

"Gauss!"