Chapter Forty-Eight: The Self
Facing Lin Nian, who was angry, Miyamoto Yixin's eyes drooped slightly, with a cold smile on his face: "Lin Niansan, have you ever thought about what kind of person you are?" ”
"It doesn't seem to have anything to do with Mr. Miyamoto."
"No, since you entered the school, I have been observing Lin Niansang from all sides." Miyamoto said, "People are always curious, and there should always be something strange about a person who looks up to everyone, whether it is pride, or anger, or self-humility, or indifference." But in you, I saw nothing, I saw only one person, an ordinary person. ”
"If I disappoint you since I entered school, then I don't feel sorry or disappointed, I can't make everyone happy, I don't want to make others happy, I just need to live my own life." Lin Nian said coldly.
"But ordinary people don't need to be sharp." Miyamoto made a finger downward pressing motion: "But since we met just now, I have felt that irrepressible sharpness on your body, as if I only need to press so lightly now, and the blade will poke out from under the skin." ”
"People have tempers, and I don't really like your way of talking." Lin Nian had a straightforward showdown: "For now, I don't think there is anyone in this academy who can "carve" me or "guide" me, even if there is, it won't be you, Mr. Miyamoto." ”
"Is it a matter of age? Do you think I'm still too young? Miyamoto was a little surprised by Lin Nian's opinion.
"No, if I was judging people by age, then I would have made the same mistake as you."
"Then how did Lin Niansang see that I was not qualified to speak to you under the command of me?"
"How can this kind of thing be said clearly, if Mr. Miyamoto insists on asking, then I can only answer - I just look at it." Lin Nian said calmly.
Miyamoto applauded again: "Sure enough, I didn't look away, but I don't think I have a deeper understanding of you." ”
"I'm sorry, I don't know myself myself." Lin Nian turned around and was about to leave the table: "I'm going to miss the company, because this conversation between us is really not pleasant." ”
"Lin Nian, don't be in such a hurry." Miyamoto Yixin's voice sounded from behind, Lin Nian suddenly moved sideways again for no reason and moved sideways for nearly half a meter away, he turned his head and looked behind him angrily, but he was stunned to find that Miyamoto Yixin was still standing motionless, his hands relaxed at his side, and his eyes were staring at himself loosely.
Lin Nian is the second time today to make such an unprovoked move, this feeling is really uncomfortable, although nothing happened, but the body moved like a conditioned reflex, there is a bad feeling that he has become a marionette and can't control himself.
And these two meaningless actions undoubtedly happened after meeting this Miyamoto Isshin, Lin Nian could only think that everything was related to the man in front of him, out of curiosity, out of anger, he suppressed the urge to leave and stood still and asked, "What did you do to me?" ”
"What did I do to you?" Miyamoto tilted his head to the side: "Didn't you just say that you don't know yourself, how can you conclude that you didn't do anything to yourself?" ”
Words in the clouds, inexplicable conversations.
Lin Nian was almost tired of this kind of conversation, and at the same time, he also thought that this was the Kassel Academy with an anomalous cluster, and here stood the Ample Hall of the Student Union, a group of anomalous elites, and it was normal to find strange things in them.
"Spirits?"
"Of course not, no one can open their minds under the 'commandments' of the Night's Watch, and I am no exception." Miyamoto smiled lightly and said, "Maybe you can talk to me a few more words and figure out a question that both of us are most concerned about, and your answer will be solved." ”
"I'm curious how a person can live in a prescribed situation for decades and successfully integrate themselves into that situation." Miyamoto looked at Lin Nian's face carefully: "I have read your file, you have lived in the past sixteen years very ordinary, extremely ordinary, spent your childhood in an orphanage, and spent your youth in a rental house outside, the biggest worry every day is the school grades and the utility bills and rent of the rental house, your life seems to only have firewood, rice, oil and salt and the water and electricity bills paid every month." ”
"When I first saw this CV, I thought it was a mistake on the part of the school, or a technical error in your 'S' rating, because a half-breed isn't supposed to be so ordinary." Miyamoto said lightly: "You have claws, you have teeth, but you have chosen to disguise yourself as an ordinary person for sixteen years, and even took the initiative to integrate into this life, trying your best to keep him and maintain him, for fear that your bloodline will destroy all this, which seems to me to be a very incredible thing." ”
"Do you have any opinion on my life?" If Miyamoto's single-minded arrogance caused Lin Nian's discomfort at the beginning, then now this remark can be regarded as on the verge of provoking Lin Nian.
The denial of a person's past life experience is tantamount to a complete rejection of this person's voice, which is a provocation, even if Lin Nian pounces on him now and smashes the Japanese man into the dining heap, no one will say that he is wrong.
"Of course, I don't mean that the 'retreat to Yamada' lifestyle is wrong, because I saw this kind of people when I was in Japan, and there were many of them, but these people all have the same characteristic, that is, they have suffered from the bloodline, some of them are leaders of the underworld, some are ghosts living in the underground world, they have seen through the good, the bad, the good, the cruel everything that their bloodline brings after experiencing the sea of corpses and the hell of Shura, and then they will choose to live like you." Miyamoto looked at Lin Nian's eyes calmly, as if he wanted to see through what was hidden in the deepest part of those eyes: "But Lin Nian, you shouldn't have encountered these things in your past sixteen years, right?" What kind of cruel hell have you ever seen before you choose to gather your minions for decades and become an ordinary person? ”
Hell?
The black lonely fortress in the ice field in Lin Nian's mind flashed away, and a feeling of loneliness and coldness rose from the bottom of his heart, but he was forced down in an instant, he looked at Miyamoto coldly and said: "I'm sorry, I haven't seen any hell, I haven't seen any corpses and mountains of blood, I am very satisfied with my life in the past sixteen years, I can say that I am such an ordinary, featureless person." ”
"If it's really as you said, your life has not been turbulent in the past sixteen years, then it's not up to you to decide whether you're ordinary or not, after all, you haven't experienced much yet." Miyamoto said slowly: "To see whether a person is a leader or a coward, a revolutionary or a traitor, it is not enough to "think" yourself, to judge what kind of person a person is, you need to experience "things", a lot of "things", good things, bad things, in front of the threshold of decision-making, you make your own judgment, then you can know what kind of person you are. ”
Although Lin Nian was tired of the current conversation, he listened carefully to Miyamoto's remarks at this moment, because he has always been a rational person, even if he has a quarrel with someone, he will think about whether this is a 'debate' or a 'quarrel', if it is the latter, he will not hesitate to give up wasting time and turn away, if it is the former, he will complete this debate without any unnecessary emotions.
He had to admit that Miyamoto's words were not wrong, a person wants to know what kind of person he is, and he can only see it when he encounters various things and reacts and chooses.
And Lin Nian's past sixteen years are too ordinary, he holds "power" but cowers and becomes an ordinary person, he often lies in the bed of the rental house, a person excitedly thinks about what he can do with this "power", he can become a track and field athlete, he can participate in the Olympics, and even go to be a chivalrous Batman!
It's just that he gets scared every time he thinks about the most excited.
It was a kind of fear for no reason, like quietly watching Lin Nian from the bottom of the deep pool in his heart, whenever Lin Nian swelled up with this thought, it would come out like a poisonous snake and oppress Lin Nian with cold temperature and great fear, reminding him of all kinds of bad times and giving up this idea.
It's almost like someone has an idea implanted in his head.
- Expose yourself, and you will never recover.