It had just rained during the day, and the night sky outside the dark window was as gray as ever.

The weather, the environment, it's still the same, but today I'm happy because I finally have the power to write.

I immediately thought of writing to you, but suddenly I didn't know what kind of identity to write to you, is it a lover or a lover?

My lover, my lover is the dead ghost You Ying; Lovers, we don't do what lovers should do; Come to think of it, we can still be friends or confidants, right?

I know you're going to say I'm going to see you again, if it weren't for Youjia, we would have been lovers, wouldn't we?

Do you remember when I was a child, my parents took me to your house for the first time, when you were only three years old, and when you saw me for the first time, you said in a milky voice: "I want this sister to be my wife when I grow up." "Your words made everyone laugh crazy, but I didn't laugh, because I also thought: this brother is so cute, I really want to take care of him for the rest of my life......

When I was a child, I didn't know what a lifetime was, I didn't know how short a life was, and it was as fleeting as a meteor in the night sky.

In a blink of an eye, we all grew up, remember the night of your brother's birthday party, we were all drunk, everyone coaxed, and arranged you and me into a room, that night you were so shy, holding me and not daring to move, and said that I would wait until the day of marriage, I cried into tears, my heart was extremely happy and sweet, I only felt that God treated me so well, gave me a family with no worries about food and clothing, and a childhood sweetheart.

But God, it is a volatile madman, who seems to hear my heart, and mischiefly deprives me of everything I have overnight.

The next day, my father told me with a solemn face that the Lan family was about to go bankrupt, the Lan family needed a lot of money and the core technology of the product, and only the You family could help us turn the situation around in the entire S City, and I needed to make sacrifices for the family.

On one side is the parents who gave birth to me and raised me, and on the other side is you, if it were someone else, you might have eloped with you a long time ago, but I didn't, I am a coward.

If my parents forced me to marry the You family, then I would rather die than give in, but they know my shortcomings, my heart is too soft, they only need to tell me the dilemma faced by the Lan family, and give a choice calmly, knowing that I will not sit idly by.

Yes, I didn't refuse, and as you can see, when I saw again, I received my wedding invitation.

I know I'm sorry for you, all my friends also spit on me, and I have no contact with me anymore, the night before the wedding, I cried all night, I suddenly didn't want to lose you, I didn't want to give up on you, I went to my father and told him that I didn't want to marry You Ying, but at this time, they didn't agree.

We had a heated argument, and my father was so angry that he slapped me hard, pointed at my nose and scolded, "If you don't want to get married, why did you say yes in the first place?" Now that the You family has given assistance, how can the Lan family gain a foothold in the business world in the future? ”

I knew it was the bitter fruit I had planted, and I could only swallow it with tears in my eyes when I broke my teeth.

That night, I thought that I would never be able to have you in my life, and the thought of seeking death came to my mind, and I tried to commit suicide by cutting my wrists, hehe...... It's a pity that I didn't have enough courage, the blade only went an inch deeper, and the moment I saw the blood, I was scared.

I'm afraid of pain, I'm afraid of death, I'm afraid I'll never see you again.

Alive, alive, and able to sneak a look at your photos every day, I will be satisfied.

However, fate also abandoned me completely the moment I chose to betray you. The You family is not a simple wealthy family, their family is all perverts except for You Ying, and the You family villa is a villa of all evils.

I've seen their perverted behavior, and now that I think about it, I can face it calmly. When I first arrived at Youjia, I was still very curious, why did such a large family of five live in one villa? Maybe the feelings of the family are too strong?

They also covered it up very well, and successfully deceived me, I thought I could spend my life in peace, but unfortunately the good times didn't last long, and when I learned that You Ying was suffering from a strange illness, he was already terminally ill. You Ran urgently needed a daughter-in-law to inherit the You family, so they chose to help the Lan family and chose me to be the one who continued the You family's incense.

Maybe there is also a providence in the dark, You Ying, a short-lived ghost, died before he went to my bed, and I became Kefu's widow and an ominous person in the eyes of outsiders. I tried my best to avoid the eyes of the world and threw myself into the cultivation world, trying to forget about it, but a terrible nightmare followed, and I completely became a filthy person.

After You Ying's death that year, I should have returned to the Lan family to find a lover again, but You Ran told me that the You family has a rule of keeping filial piety for the deceased husband for a year, and I am very happy, just one year, as long as I survive this year, I can return to the Lan family, if you don't dislike me, maybe we can continue the relationship? After all, I'm still perfect.

Who knows that in this year, I clearly remember that in the middle of the night of June 21st, the wind and rain were combined with lightning and thunder, and the old beast finally revealed his beastly face, and stretched out his obscene claws to me. And You Wei's little brute stood outside the door and watched me being defiled by his brute father, and I will never forget his smile embedded in the crack of the door in my life, it was the most terrifying and evil laugh in the world.

Hell is empty, and the devil is on earth.

The next day, they put me under house arrest, confiscated my phone, and didn't allow me to ask for help online, and I tried to escape several times, but I was caught by the bodyguards at the villa.

On July 30, You Ran went abroad, You Wei finally couldn't hold it back, forced me to have sex with him, I spent three days and three nights in a daze, and the moment he walked out of the door, I thought of suicide.

However, he seemed to have thought of this a long time ago, afraid that I would commit suicide and allow me to cultivate the world, and the last glimmer of hope was ignited in my heart, and I was ready to find someone to report the crime. I'm also stupid, since he dared to let me go online, how could he not have expected that I would find someone to call the police?

As soon as I got on the line, he kidnapped me with a group of people and sold me to the Mandarin Duck Tower, and I was forced to pick up eleven beasts that night, and since then, I have completely embarked on a road of no return.

I was confused, and thought that instead of being defiled by his father and son, it was better to stay in the Mandarin Duck Tower, where I was at least sought after by thousands of people, but in the villa, there was only endless darkness and pain. I fell into lust, and I no longer wanted any way to escape, and indulged in lust every day and night, living like a soulless rotting corpse.

Later, I met Qin Ren, and I should probably thank him, if he hadn't forcibly accepted me as a concubine, I probably wouldn't have left Luoyang.

I don't hate Qin Ren, it's just that his persecution reminds me of my parents, since I married into the You family, they haven't taken the initiative to make a phone call, completely abandoned me, and even You Ying died, they knew that their daughter was in prison, but they didn't care, and chose to be silent for the Lan family to survive.

After that, I came to Suzhou City, I didn't expect to see you again, you showed favor several times, secretly killed those who approached me, I knew it all in my heart, but I was no longer a good person, I don't want to disturb your life anymore.

I must not have any more entanglements with you, I am a rotten person, how can I be worthy of you? You are drunk and dreaming in my restaurant, deliberately letting me see you prostituting during the day, although my heart is painful, but I am reluctant to leave, because as long as I can see you, my soul will have a little heat, a trace of anger.

Later, Yan Yunxing appeared and tricked me into getting on the ship to Dongying, I knew that it was your idea, and I was very conflicted in my heart, until the moment when the wind and waves hit and the tortoiseshell boat was shattered, the moment you held me and never let go, I finally made up my mind!

I don't know if you remember the words when we showed love to each other in the storm? I still remember it clearly, every word, every sentence, is deeply imprinted in my mind.

"Let it go! You fool, with me as a drag, you will die! ”

"Are you afraid of death?"

"I'm not afraid of death! But I don't want to bother you! ”

"When you first called me Brother Xiaomo when you were a child, I was already affected by you."

"You fool......"

"Hahaha...... Being able to live and die with Sister Xi may be the only way I Xiao Mo can express my love for you......"

"You fool......"

"You said before that if happiness is always around, where life is not travel; If you are in pain, what if you are in heaven? I want to tell you now what will happen to a hundred years of life if you are separated from the painful struggles; If your lover is always around, you will be happy in hell if you die instantly......"

"Mo, I'...... I love you! ”

"Cherish my sister, I love you too......"

In order to live up to your deep affection, I decided that I must do three things for you in this life, and once the three things are done, I will seek death and go to hell, and be an innocent person in the next life, and we will meet again.

The first thing is to give myself to you completely, I know that this broken body is not worthy of you, so I put my heart and soul into it, and do my best to satisfy you, after that night, you finally grew into a man, my sister felt extremely happy, and for a moment I wanted you to help me out of the sea of suffering, so that we could be together forever.

But I didn't do it in the end, firstly because I didn't deserve to be with you for the rest of my life; The second is because in reality, the two beasts put forward a new request, asking me to return to reality to serve them, when you were arrested by the Yuan Lai Dynasty, I was anxious to make a verbal agreement with the two beasts: When the Dongying affair is over, I will serve your father and son wholeheartedly, and inherit the lineage for the You family.

The two brutes were overjoyed to hear this, and finally agreed to the agreement, and let me do the second thing.

This second thing, I guess you don't know it yet, do you remember the sky that has been rescuing you? He is my most loyal subordinate, and I also have a name in Toei that everyone spites - Hojo Masako.

I was struggling very much at the time, not retreating to serve the source of the Lai Dynasty, retreating to face two beasts, I was so contradictory for five years, on the night when the army was about to break through Nara, the source of the Ray Dynasty for me to kill himself, I also died under the knife of the general general Guangchang, everything in the east of the east, is to be liberated, but in the end I still have to face the two beasts in reality.

I didn't let them get what they wanted, and I would rather die than obey, when my mother-in-law and concubine had disappeared inexplicably, and they were even more unscrupulous, scolding me, beating me, torturing me, and threatening that if I didn't comply, it would be exactly the same fate as those two women.

At that time, I found out that my mother-in-law and my sister-in-law were cut into meat foam by the two of them and built into the cement wall, and the room where Jiang Peng lived later was the burial place of the two women.

Later, when I asked the reason, it was nothing more than that my mother-in-law was old, and my concubine had infertility, so she had no use value, and she had no value in Youjia.

Still, I didn't give in, because I knew that if I let them get what they wanted, I would end badly, and I still had one last thing to do, so how could I leave this world so easily?

But they forced me to enter the cultivation world, and also gave me the evil name of "Night Slave" after being reborn, at that time, You Wei had already gone south to Suzhou, and united with Qiushui to share the master of the same sky, that is, his distant cousin Jiang Peng, secretly fought against the fallen leaves for a long time, and finally the two of them conspired to seize the position of the gang leader, and formed the Qiushui Alliance, and behind the two, it was the old beast You Ran, that is, the beast owner of the three-story black building, the delicious daughter-in-law.

The beast hung such a name, and he didn't dare to show it, so he chose to live in the background, because I didn't give in, and both worlds were imprisoned by the two, and I couldn't let go of the third thing in my heart, and I didn't know what to do to repay your affection, until he appeared, so that I suddenly opened my eyes and found the final goal, that is, to get rid of the great enemy of the demon army, the Qiushui Alliance.

I'm a person, I don't have much ability in reality, I can't help the Xiao family, and I can't help you, but in the cultivation world, I can do a lot of things with this skin, I hope I can help you.

I say this, not to make you feel guilty, remorse, but to prevent you from losing hope and longing for love, as long as you truly love someone, you will definitely get her affectionate return for you, in the years to come, you will definitely live a happy and happy life.

Finally, I want to sing a song, which is one I often hum when I am in Luoyang Mandarin Duck Tower, the songwriter is Nanlingmen Phantom Yin, and the song is called "Qianxun Song".

"Remember? The little white flowers under the plane tree were planted by you with me;

Did I forget? The clay palms on the white shirt were secretly engraved by you;

Don't make a fuss, I know it's you, with a bitter face, isn't it good-looking;

You say it's ugly,

But I like it!

In the past, all kinds of years suddenly shed down my cheeks, and I heard a cicada chirping in the unknown distance;

In the bitter days that followed, I searched all over the world, but I never saw you smiling like a flower again;

……

That morning, the sun was shining on the white curtains, and you were asleep at the desk full of books;

I'll never forget your flickering eyelashes and tears shining in the sun;

You said that you found me peeking at you, and said with a smile, did you like me;

I said no,

See you soon!

All the years in the past, the cheeks slipped off in an instant, and you smiled and said that we were childhood sweethearts;

In the bitter days that followed, I hated myself so much, if I said I loved you, where should I find you......

……

Forget me in this life, and see you again in the next life.

Love you forever: Lan Xi.

October 24, 15th year under heaven.

(End of chapter)