The corners of his mouth were cold and thin, but with a little bitterness, and in those deep eyes, there was only deep self-loathing and exhaustion.

He felt like a disgusting joke, no matter who said it, no matter how funny it was, he would only get disgust from others.

If only I hadn't been born.

As soon as this thought, which seemed to carry some kind of demagoguery, Lu Fan seemed to have suddenly lost his soul, his eyes gradually became hollow, and his expression gradually became dull.

Everything around him seemed to be nothingness in his eyes.

Only the fruit knife embedded in the sheath in the fruit bowl is clearly visible.

The big hand on his lap curled up his fingertips unconsciously.

The lost strength seems to have returned.

Just when he was gloomy and trying to get it, Shen Qingran's "Yuyu" full of worry suddenly pulled his thoughts back in a daze.

A rush of footsteps came from the staircase, Lu Fan subconsciously looked up, and all he saw was Shen Qianyu's thin and stumbling back.

The hand, which was already halfway out, was clenched into a fist.

The pale cyan blood vessels bulged hard, making them look a little hideous and terrifying.

If he dies like this, what if the Lu family comes to hurt Yuyu again?

Though... Yuyu may not want to see him again, and he already has the ability to protect himself and resist.

But he was still reluctant to leave her like this.

Because she is the only light in his nineteen years of dark life.

Lu Fan stopped the impritation in his heart and slowly withdrew his arm.

Inadvertently met his gaze with Shen Qingran, who turned his head, he pinched his heart, and then turned his head as if he was evading.

Although the experience during this period of time made him no longer have any hope for Shen Qingran.

But no matter what, there must still be a little resentment in my heart.

But after hearing all the truth, he felt that he was particularly ridiculous.

What kind of face does he have to ask Shen Qingran to love him, and where is he qualified to complain about her?

He doesn't have the ability to pick his birth, but that doesn't excuse his existence and the harm it brings to everyone.

Shen Qingran keenly noticed Lu Fan's increasingly low mood changes, and then thought about the direction of his hand just now, his eyes flashed slightly.

Because she had a very severe postpartum depression, she had read a lot of information about it.

And Lu Fan was imprisoned in a psychiatric hospital by Lu Qihua, and he also had serious psychological problems.

After so many years, he seemed to have completely recovered to a normal person through treatment and medicine, but Shen Qingran knew that he didn't.

If he really fully recovered, he would not rely on Shen Qianyu so much, and even regarded Shen Qianyu as his whole world.

Today's events are undoubtedly worse for him.

If she guessed correctly, he was trying to get a knife just now... Suicide.

Shen Qingran's expression sank a little, but she didn't feel that such an evasive behavior was cowardly and selfish.

People who have never suffered from depression have no idea how deep the fear and self-loathing they feel when they are stimulated.

They are like creatures that can only survive in the dark, huddled in corners in despair, ready to find ten thousand reasons to be abandoned by the whole world.

They don't see any hope of life, let alone the motivation to live.

But they struggled and longed for someone to pull them along.