"Is it like this? The muscles and brain have been trained into some kind of movement, and anyway, when I see it flying, I suddenly know what to do. Mu explained, to be honest, he himself couldn't be sure if this principle was really like this.

"Okay, don't make a fuss, this is the hospital." Mu Xiao coughed and sat back in his seat. "So, don't you think it's right? Mozart should be a Tourette patient, I think so, and Howard Hughes must be obsessive-compulsive, needless to say, I have always advocated and insisted that the treatment of cardiology should not be limited to chemotherapy, surgery, various behavioral therapy, psychoanalytic therapy or cognitive therapy, but should integrate the patient's inner and outer aspects, put the patient in his life, not from his living environment to a vacuum environment for treatment, a large part of our treatment is to allow the patient to return to lifeOf course, this has always been idealistic. ”

"There is nothing wrong with idealization, this is the case, not only the efforts of the psychologists and the patients themselves, but also the efforts of more people who can be fought for, such as the patient's family, such as the understanding of the community residents, such as the national mental health awareness, and the strengthening of the professional level of suicide crisis interventionists, these are all things that we should consider, if we don't think about it, how many people will think about it." Mu said seriously, as if he had said these words countless times.

Mu Xiao saw from Mu's face that she was familiar with, the innocent Mu, the kind Mu and the Mu who was convinced of the path she was taking.

But she also knew that Mu had doubted, had suspected that everything he expected and worked was wrong, futile, meaningless, and he was sad, desperate and even lost.

The current Mu is so precious, so resolute, shining with wisdom and calmness, this is her deep Mu.

But Mu Xiao knew that Mu's condition would not always be like this, he fell ill again at the beginning of last year, a state like a brain reboot, and woke up with some memory loss.

Thankfully, he didn't finish his experience and knowledge.

Thank goodness he had forgotten all those hesitations, denials, and fears, although he also seemed to have forgotten Mu Xiao.

Professor Chu has studied for a long time and there is no good way, of course Mu Xiao can't wait for others to protect Mu, although after returning to China, some of the research progress that has been a little eyebrow before will be a little slower, but she can stay in Mu to protect Mu, whether it is a colleague, a peer, or an old classmate, at least she can always accompany him to deal with a lot of things.

"I seem to remember when we went to Sweden to visit a Tourette patient, I remember what it was like." Mu said and quickly flipped through the notebook.

Mu Xiao reminded Mu that it was not in the notebook, and the case of the amazing obstetrician and gynecologist in Sweden was in the portfolio.

The name of the surrounding doctor is Robert Dick, an obstetrician and gynecologist in a small town in Sweden, this patient was talked about by Professor Chu when he was communicating in Europe, and Chu Xiaofeng was very curious about this doctor who had to do a lot of small actions from time to time, so maybe a muscle would suddenly twitch, keep blinking, and even in the mouth of the professor of neurology, a person who would jump from time to time could become an obstetrician and gynecologist?

As we all know, doctors need to be meticulous, attentive and professional, but how can such a person who cannot even stand quietly complete obstetrics and gynecology surgery?

With such curiosity, Chu Xiaofeng told Mu Xiao about this patient after returning to China, and Mu was worried about Xiao Lanping's affairs at that time, so the professor said to contact him to see if he could visit a doctor who grew up.

Later, the professor was busy with teaching at the school and could not visit the patient, so Mu Xiao and Mu got such an opportunity, accompanied by an internationally renowned neurology professor, to the small town of Hakome in Sweden.

In April, the vehicle travels through the lyrical town to the maternity ward of the central hospital called Jacome.

As soon as they walked into the corridor of the ward area, Mu and Mu Xiao recognized Dr. Robert, because a doctor in a light green surgical gown was constantly touching his ears, and then his feet were lifting the baseboard by the wall back and forth.

There is a quirky rhythmic beauty to his movements, as if every movement has to be symmetrical and even.

The professor jokingly said, "Isn't it a very energetic male doctor?" I just like everything to be a pair. ”

"What to do when you give birth, it's impossible for all mothers to have twins, most of them are one." Mu Xiao said.

Before the professor could answer Mu Xiao, Robert jumped up and ran in front of the three of them, "Hey, I heard that a beautiful medical student came to us." Robert greeted him humorously.

"Hi, yes, we want to come and discuss a job with you." Mu Xiao replied in fluent English.

"That's amazing, my girlfriend just left me because she couldn't stand my harshness on symmetry, and I'd love to be able to work with beautiful peers at times like this."

Robert joked with a measured attitude.

The first impression of Mu and Mu Xiao was that Robert was not excluded by others in the hospital, and that his daily work was a particularly pleasant thing for him.

Robert was generous enough to tell everyone about his work, and when he spoke, he would poke at the wall next to him or the notebook in his hand, and if he didn't have any of these things, he would be a little irritable.

This kind of irritability comes suddenly, that is to say, one second Robert seems to be normal, just a lot of movements, and he will jump around, but the next second he suddenly starts to be very irritable and bored, and the whole world is not right for him.

He began to try to find something that he could poke and shoot again, and if he couldn't find it, Robert would repeatedly touch his ear, 10 times on the left and 10 times on the right, and then alternately kick his foot every time it was even

Mu observed that Robert would repeat this movement until he thought that each beat was at the right point, and when the hand touched the ear a second time, the foot had to be kicked out once, and the two movements had to be perfectly in sync, and if there was an advance or delay, it had to be done again.

If it is not right a few times, Robert will be very upset, and many people may give up confidence and not do something that has been repeated many times and still cannot succeed!

But Robert is different, he is irritable, he is irritable and angry while busy with these things.

When he was done, he was content to tell everyone, "It's easier." Really, it's not often like this anymore, maybe because of the girlfriend's breakup. ”

Robert's optimism is very memorable, and he is not shy about talking about how many girlfriends he has had because of such strange little problems.

The professor said that his girlfriends were all beautiful, and they all liked his eccentricity at first, and some people would find it funny to talk about.

"Yes, I look like a monkey who has always been in good spirits, but when I had surgery, it was completely different, would you like to see how I operated?" At Robert's invitation, Mu and Mu Xiao had the opportunity to participate in an operation under Dr. Robert's charge the next day.

Seeing that he didn't look like a cheerful monkey, Mu and Mu Xiao were looking forward to it, and the professor smiled and patted Mu's shoulder, "The first time I saw it, it was beyond all my imagination." ”

As soon as the professor said this, Mu looked forward to it even more.

That evening, Dr. Robert invited everyone to his house for a beer, and the professor was very pleased to say that he had been abstaining from alcohol for many years, and that it was rare to have another drink.

As soon as Dr. Robert heard that the professor had quit drinking for many years, he immediately shook his head, then you can take pills, pills and cola are also good choices.

"Before I get off work, you should go buy three cups, because I'm not used to other people using my cups, is that okay?"

After Robert asked, the three of them nodded, and there was this cup with a red snowflake pattern.

Mu thought about it all now.

Around eight o'clock in the evening, Robert prepared balls, mashed potatoes and smoked salmon and a large plate of vegetables and some Mexican tortilla chips.

Robert doesn't let anyone into the kitchen, he says he has some cleanliness fetishes, and if a stranger comes into the kitchen, he feels that all the food that is put outside is no longer clean.

Mu Xiao asked, so now that we strangers are sitting here, and the food is exposed in front of everyone, is the food also unclean and inedible?

Robert shook his head, "No, I didn't get to that level, it's just that the kitchen is special." ”

Mu understands that he has his own rules, and these rules Robert doesn't like to change, and change will make him flustered and nervous, which is one of the reasons why it may not be easy for him to find a suitable marriage partner, although Robert revealed in his speech that he still wants to have a wife because he likes children.

As for the number of children, Robert smiled and gestured a 2.

The professor joked that 4 is also an even number, or 6. Robert shook his head awkwardly, saying that 2 was still the most perfect, and if he could, 8 would certainly be fine.

It was a joke, and Robert laughed himself.

Because the content of the chat was pleasant, everyone didn't pay much attention to Robert's strange behavior in front of the table, he was actually constantly distracted, because there was a twitch that happened every now and I don't know how often.

Robert couldn't help but scratch at the tablecloth or touch the chandelier on the dining table, and in short, if his fingers couldn't touch something, he would feel uncomfortable.

Mu asked, "Do you need to make this touch sound more comfortable?" ”

Robert shook his head, "It's nothing special, I don't seem to be a little sure when you say that, and now that you think about it, you don't necessarily have to make a sound, but the touch will need a little bit of feedback, power feedback or like you said sound feedback." ”

Robert showed everyone the refrigerator at the dining table, which was riddled with holes, and Robert said that this was basically the battlefield he grew up on. After saying that, he took the lead and laughed.

It can be seen that this is like a refrigerator that has been hit by a meteorite for at least 20 years in this home, and it has left an indelible mark over time.

Mu Xiao found a few relatively large pits and deeper dents than others, so he asked, "Is this also made by touching it with your fingers?" It looks like the wound is huge. ”

Robert said embarrassedly, "That's what I throw, when I was a kid I was angry, I would throw things, anything, cups, scissors, plates, big pots of sauce pasta, anything, if I suddenly got angry, I couldn't control it, I would definitely throw things, I would throw whatever I found, once I almost lifted the table and threw it to the refrigerator, and then my mother stopped me and gave me a carrot, and I threw the carrot over." ”

After saying that, Robert started drinking beer, grunting, almost two-thirds of the way down, and then he burped.

"The people in the church told my mom that the child might be demonic, and there were children in the town decades ago, who would go up the hill behind them at night, slash at the trees, and be picked up by the devil.

Mom was afraid that I would cross the back road and climb up the hill in the middle of the night, in fact I knew that I had no interest in the mountain behind the road, I just couldn't control my temper, and I was always moving around.

The teachers at the church school were nice to me, they let me sit alone in the last row, I didn't think there was anything wrong with it, I secretly read books, I watched "Blade Runner" and Asimov's "Base" series, and when I was uncomfortable, I was actually uncomfortable all the time, as long as I was awake I was uncomfortable, and sometimes it was better in a fit of rage. How to say it, that is, when I am sober, I have to endure two kinds of discomfort, one is that I always have to move around, and I always pay special attention to my own rules for many places and things, which makes me very uncomfortable, and the other is that when I do this, the people around me will more or less express their incomprehension and even fear of my affairs, which is also what I need to bear, so every day as long as I am awake, I am suffering from two kinds of discomfort, because I also know shame, than when people say about me, I will also know that there is shame in doing so, and that I will be ashamed that I can't control my body.

But when I'm angry, it's different, I'm throwing things, I'm angry, I don't know what I'm doing, it's actually very enjoyable, I don't have to feel any shame, I don't have time to feel it, it's just that the feeling disappears in that aspect, there is no trace, I can't find it if I want to look for it, it just disappears in those minutes or ten minutes.

So it's actually very comfortable. Probably none of you have ever been so angry, haha, of course, under normal circumstances, it's better for us not to be so angry, because the people around me really can't stand it, I grew up and realized that most of the people in the world are very similar, like those in the church, like teachers, like my mother and father, they are all normal people, very similar normal people, and there are very few people like me, I know that I am like this in our town, and the population of our town is quite large.

Mom didn't really care about my moving around, although some nosy people would nag my mom to be careful and pray more and so on, but Mom didn't care too much, and what really scared her was my anger.

When I was a child, I would suddenly get angry, throw things, pick up and throw everything, and then it developed into seeing anyone who would throw things at him, if I happened to be angry at that time, once I threw my mother and injured it, it was the corner of the eye, the part of the football player that is particularly prone to injury, the corner of the eye will be injured and there will be a lot of blood, it looks very scary, I was frightened, ran out of the refrigerator to get ice cubes and ice cows, and then went to the bathroom to get clean towels, I was busy for half an hour, and I didn't make any mistakes in that half an hour, Concentrated to the point of incomprehension, I felt that my body, which had been restless, suddenly quieted down, and all the cells were functioning in my body in a step-by-step manner.

They have no worries, no impatience, and my brain is as clean as the morning sky.

Although I was ashamed and sad to hurt my mother, that night, as I lay on my dark blue single and looked at the starry sky outside the skylight, I suddenly realized that when I was colding my mother and bandaging her with a hug, my heart was as quiet as the sky.

That night I thought, I'm going to be a doctor, and a surgeon.

But my mother's view of this matter is completely different from mine, my mother doesn't care if I move around, my behavior is not good, she is afraid that I will hurt others, afraid that I will fight with other classmates in the church school, in fact, my mother's worries are not bad, even if there are teachers to take care of me, there will still be classmates in the school to talk behind my back, I am not afraid of fighting with those round fat people, I shoot quickly, I am born with good seedlings.

But I swear, I seldom take the initiative to make trouble, rarely, and the other boys are not as sluggish as their mothers, and they run faster than rabbits when they sense that something is wrong.

With only one left in a huff, I could only smash my fist at my locker until I didn't want to.

Sometimes I wonder if it will go on forever, but there has never been a time like that, always after a certain moment, and suddenly it will not be smashed.

My mother called a few relatives in other cities, and then she took me to the doctor, and I was lucky enough to meet the professor, I think it was the luckiest thing in my life, and the first thing he said to me was don't be afraid, it's not your fault, don't be afraid. ”

The professor smiled slightly, and Robert put his arm around the professor's shoulders and said, "It's true, before I met the professor, I always thought it was my fault, everything was my fault." ”