Bian Jin felt that he was back in his own world.

In that nightmarish world.

It's cold.

The rain dripped from the roof and sent chills down his bones.

He hugged his legs, kept his head down, and listened to the dizzying buzz in his ears, shivering all over.

It's like a dream again.

Back in that mountain village.

For the first time, he curled up and listened to the sound of his grandmother humming in bed, listening to the sound of the rain outside the house, the wind blowing on his rain-soaked clothes, splitting his body like a knife.

At that time, he found that curling himself up in a small ball would be a little warmer.

There will be a little bit of security.

And then......

When Grandpa comes back, he will be beaten.

He looked out of the mountain at that time, and actually wanted to jump off the mountain several times.

He wanted to die.

Thought about it more than once.

It's too painful to be alive.

He felt that he was not a filial person, he couldn't stand his grandfather who drank and took money out to gamble, he couldn't stand this leaky so-called home, and he couldn't stand the mocking eyes of others looking at him......

The words he heard the most were "beggar", "dirty", "garbage", and "to die".

He doesn't know why life is the way it is.

It's completely different from the fairy tales he sees.

It was a strange, cold world, like the rain on him, where he shivered and was helpless.

At that time he looked out of the mountain and did not jump.

Because I still want to wait for my parents to come back.

He has a mom and dad.

His parents went to the city to work for him, and they would send him a small envelope every year, which contained a letter of apology.

My parents didn't come back because they didn't earn any money.

It's not that they forget about themselves.

Bian Jin was sitting in the cold room at that time, looking at the rain outside the window, thinking that he still had hope.

Waiting for Mom and Dad to come back.

He will be free.

And so life went on.

He went to take care of his grandmother, took care of his grandfather, farmed the land, watered the dung......

On a rainy day, the road was slippery, he fell, and the feces splashed on him, he cried and cleaned up, and when he went back, he was beaten by his grandfather, which made his peers laugh at him.

He was laughed at for a long time, and some people threw stones at him and called him disgusting.

At that time, he had a set of clothes for spring, summer, autumn and winter.

His persistence and desire for life come from fairy tales, from the longing for the outside world, and from the desire for father's and mother's love.

He always thinks about ......

Bear with it.

Just wait until Mom and Dad come.

He is not an orphan......

But I didn't expect it......

Bian Jin specially washed his clothes at that time, and went to wash his face well, full of apprehension and joy.

He's going to see Mom and Dad.

His parents who had been waiting for a long, long time finally returned.

But they didn't know him anymore.

When his father came home and saw him, he looked at him for a long time and asked who it was.

Who's this......

There is strangeness in the eyes, and even disgust.

Undisguised disgust.

At that time, Bian Jin thought about death......

I want to jump off the mountain.

Want to jump......

I could barely restrain myself from wanting to jump.

Push my father down first, then my mother down, and my grandfather will push me down, and he will go down again......

Die together.

Don't live, don't live......

Bian Jin cowered in the dark room, trembling all over, his teeth even chattering up and down.

Although I thought so.

But he did not move, for at last his father recognized him and called him.

"Bian Jin? It's grown so big, and Dad doesn't recognize it. Daddy is back. ”

Because of that sentence, he cried.