Counting on the fingers, Shen Sibo and Xie Duan's love, from beginning to end, is only seven months in total, against the growth of all things, it was born in autumn but died in spring.

They are also very restrained when they are most enthusiastic, I still have to attend classes with Xie Duan, and I rarely see them in and out of pairs, I occasionally gloat and think, look, their relationship is also very fragile, as the book says, if you get it, you don't cherish it anymore. But they continue to develop steadily and continuously, and maybe there are some undercurrents in them, but in any case, I am an outsider.

So my darkness always fell short.

And when Xie Duan was in class, he always sat alone in the corner, quiet and melancholy. At first I scoffed at this and never fell for it again. But there are times when my resolve becomes weak.

We've been friends for two years, you know, not the kind of friends who drink and everyone happily disperses, but the feeling of being close to a loved one, and I even wondered if it would be too embarrassing if I cried at her wedding.

There aren't many people in this world who can make you cry, but I didn't expect it to be the way it is.

Then I thought of Shen Sibo, and my heart was cold little by little, they held hands, kissed, and enjoyed rights and obligations to each other, these are the things I once dreamed of doing with him, and they were stolen by her.

This girl, she made me suffer the biggest failure of my life, and I have no reason to be soft-hearted.

That's it, on New Year's Day 2003.

I don't know how many people still remember the fireworks at the end of that year, the Shili Ling River, at least I remember, when they took off into the air, I was watching the backs of Xie Duan and Shen Sibo turning away.

That day, of course, I was with Qi Xiang. There are many people on both sides of the Ling River, and he is still holding me at the beginning, but there are always people coming to meet him, and he has to let go of his hand to avoid.

"It's better to watch TV at home than to know it." I thought about it like this, I didn't complain about the exit, Qi Xiang just got off the train, and the packing was still stored in a locker in a nearby supermarket, he was more tired than me.

"If you don't go home first, your parents won't have an opinion?" I asked.

"No, they're used to it."

"...... Alas. "

"Sigh, you little girl." He looked angry and funny: "I thought I was abandoned. "

I'm a little embarrassed, I did think of the more bloody places, some cold and old-fashioned fathers in the TV series, and the sad back of the incomprehensible son leaving home alone with his luggage.

"Is it that they still can't understand if you change jobs?"

"I can't understand that's it, my dad, who has been working in the system for more than 30 years, is more stubborn, and we do often have differences of opinion on some things." He said patiently: "But as a family, both sides will slowly adjust after all." When I watch the fireworks with you here, I'll rush back. "

"You're so tired."

"What's the solution?" He pulled me past to prevent me from being bumped into by others, and said quite casually, "Do you want to meet them?" "

My silence was particularly abrupt in the midst of the noise.

"I'll be nervous." I said, "I'm not the kind of girl I can please my parents." "

"yes, forget it."

"......"

"Just kidding." He smiled: "Don't worry, even if they don't like you, they won't show it, the hypocrisy of intellectuals is just such a little good - not to mention, you can make do." "

"Are you comforting me?"

"If you really don't want to see it, forget it, it's okay."

His tone was very ordinary.

But I feel very uncomfortable, not sorry, I just feel that I am not good, too bad, wrong, inexplicably melancholy, stunned, the painting boat in the Linghe River is swaying, I am looking at it, and the lights are lit up one after another.

"You say they're ......" I turned my face to Qi Xiang and said, only to have a strange man next to me look at me inexplicably, and then overlook. But Qi enjoyed, there was no one in front of or behind, left and right.

Again, I don't know who threw whom. I called his phone and was "on a call".

I was approaching a small stone bridge at the moment, a good place to meet, so I didn't go any further, pinching my phone and leaning against the railing, not too anxious, just doing nothing, and the wind on the river bank was chilling.

In fact, Qi Xiang was not far from me at that time, at least I had not left his line of sight, he answered a call and his steps naturally slowed down, seeing that I was unaware, maintaining the original speed and swaying all the way to the front, he called, and slowly walked behind, "For the first time in my life, I feel like a stalker." He told me later.

He looked at me and finally noticed that he was gone, stopped to look around, called him, and it didn't work.

The scene should be like this - he looked at me through the crowd, and he looked at me at the beginning, and he couldn't see that he simply turned his back to look at the black glittering satin river, and the back seemed to have nothing to do with Fengyue, as if there was no such thing as him.

I think he must have been a little confused at the time, this girl didn't need him, and he didn't worry if he couldn't find him, just waiting, and he was so patient that he really didn't like a girl of her age who fell in love.

And I waited and waited, and the phone didn't ring, I thought what kind of fame this person was doing, and just about to redial, I heard a familiar voice: "Hey! ......"

Hesitant enough.

Later, Xie Duan basically didn't say hello when he met me at school, she was trained, and I wouldn't pay attention to her anyway, so why humiliate myself.

But this is different, this is the last day of 02 years, hundreds of people on the banks of the Ling River, this unexpected accident is really exciting, eager to try. Gotta give it a try.

So when she tried to cross the little stone bridge to the other side, she saw me at the head of the bridge, and after a moment's hesitation, she opened her mouth.

I didn't turn around, I thought I had heard something, until she shouted again: "Hey, Zhuang Ning......"

Of course, I'm familiar with the way she calls me that, and she's always done in the mornings — hey, are you going to get up? It's late!

Then she waited for me to wash up, and looked at the time with a worried face.

I looked back. She was two feet away from me, smiling with no certainty. I was so sad all of a sudden, not for her, I don't know for whom.

"Where's your boyfriend?"

"Lost." I didn't ask, Shen Sibo.

She said flatteringly, "He's very handsome." "

I smiled, probably not very enthusiastic. She didn't know what to say. At this time, someone passed by with a guy selling sugar gourds, and I stopped him: "Master, how do you sell it?" "

"One piece at a time, it's delicious."

I asked Xie Duan coldly, "Are you either?" She nodded.

"Two strings."

When I paid, there was a long-lost, shared joy creeping into my heart. Just as I was handing it to her, Shen Sibo came over from the crowd, and he held Xie Duan's arm, looking a little anxious: "Duanduan!" "

Then he saw me, and he was stunned and nodded at me.

Xie Duan took away from him and took the sugar gourd from my hand: "Zhuang Ning invited me to eat." "

"Oh." Shen Sibo calmed down, put his hands in his coat pockets, and smiled sideways: "Then have you not, thank you?" "

Thanks, people.

I stood on the ground, almost staring at him.

He wore a long beige coat today, ironed and slender and straight. No matter how good-looking he is, theoretically it has nothing to do with me, so his handsomeness is particularly thrilling to me. We generally call this kind of emotion to do, unwilling.

"End-to-end." In front of me, he tried not to show how intimate he was with her, and was very indifferent: "Let's go." "

"Goodbye." "Goodbye." "Goodbye."

I watched them and saw him holding her hand, she was writing in the palm of his hand, and he pulled her closer, and put his arm around her waist.

At this time, the surface of the river crackled, and there were countless meteors for a while.

Looking at fireworks from a distance, it is very strange, it is clear that it rises to the air in the flat ground, but you can't see the place and trajectory, they are in the bright sky with an open attitude, to give themselves an explanation, their beauty is more like breaking through the sky.

Also, it was clear that he got up before he could do it, but he was lonely and couldn't say it.

When Qi Xiang hugged me from behind, I only reached out and touched his face. Didn't want to talk, didn't want to ask, how long had he been standing there.

At twelve o'clock that night, Shen Sibo sent me a text message: "Beauty, I wish you a happy new year, thank you." "

I regret it very much.

I'd rather stand on the opposite side of him than be a friend who doesn't know what to call it, I don't want this man to be so relaxed, if he doesn't even feel guilty, then what is the point of my past ten years.

What happened in the next three days of New Year's Day, until many years later, when Shen Sibo told me, was also vague, and the version I got was like this - Shen Sibo brought his little girlfriend home, and the day before returning to school, his mother-in-law suddenly came to visit.

No one knows how Teacher Li Yun knew, maybe she had long been suspicious, her daughter's abnormality as a mother would not be insensitive, she probably went to Lingcheng first without telling anyone, and then called Xie Duan, quietly, Duanduan, I am at the gate of your school, didn't you say that you read books at school for three days during the festival.

It can be imagined how panicked Xie Duan was, so Mr. Li soon knew everything.

She took a taxi to Shen's house, and refused to even enter the door, waving her head at the door to let her frightened daughter come over, and then she apologized to the Shen family's parents, My daughter has caused you trouble, I will take her away immediately.

Shen Sibo can't stop him on this occasion, he can only say, Auntie, you believe me, I really like Duanduan.

She looked at him, I believed, but I still had to take her away.

She, of course, is not a pervert either. In fact, the Shen family, as well as Shen Sibo, are good and satisfactory in the eyes of most mothers with daughters, and Mr. Li should be no exception.

Her main anger should be how unloving her daughter is, and she has not decided on anything, so she hides from her and lives in someone's house - although Shen Sibo sets up a small bed in his parents' room every night, if they want to do anything, the small hotel near the school is more convenient.

I really believe in him, I haven't touched the end before that.

The Shen family and his wife are so face-saving, and what sleek people they are, the hypocrisy of intellectuals is just such a little benefit, yes, that's right, no matter what they said to my parents, in short, they were all outside the door at that time, Aunt Shen opened her mouth first, Teacher Li, I know you are coming, we have booked a table of home-cooked food in a nearby restaurant, go to have a meal first, you see, our family is also a head and face here, the neighbors are all looking at it, please give us some face.

What kind of face, it's not a problem. Uncle Shen interrupted his wife's words, turned his head to Li Yundao, they are all elders, don't let the children be too ugly, if you have something to say, say it slowly, ah?

Uncle Shen is almost fifty years old, and he is used to being a leader, and now he asks for an outsider so kindly for his son.

Li Yun was somewhat moved. All she wants is to be respected, and she can't let that little pride she have.

It is said that the meal seemed to be enjoyed by the guests and the hosts. So I think if it weren't for that incident a few months later, probably there would really be no obstacles between them.

On the seventh day of the first lunar month, the atmosphere of the New Year has been relatively light, and there is still a little harvest left in the New Year's Festival.

Me too. Sitting there flipping through magazines while watching Qi Xiang tidy up his outfits, watching him throw the ironed suit and hanger into the suitcase, and then click to close the lid of the box - I wanted to help at first, but found that he was very skilled in business, and he was the same as a single man.

They will fly to Shenzhen the day after tomorrow, and then enter the customs from there**. Bank Z is expected to be listed on the ** stock exchange in the spring, and all departments of the Shanghai head office will send people to make preliminary preparations. The legal department went to three, including Qi Xiang.

Of course, don't overestimate his role, I think with his current qualifications, that is, to see the excitement with the past, it is rare to have this opportunity.

"What do you want to eat at noon?" I asked.

"Hungry? Go to the fridge and rummage through it yourself. "

"No, just find something to say, or I'll fall asleep."

I can't intervene, my girlfriend, there is no same, it should be too worry-free. I lay on the back of my chair, my hands on my back, and I fell asleep.

He came and stroked my hair, and I yawned under him.

"So sleepy, and said that he would send me later."

"I'm mainly sending Luo Ting and Chang Qing, isn't this by the way, I'll send you."

He didn't speak, his hand ran down my cheek, and he lifted my collar. I grabbed his wrist and tried to pull his hand out, but with little effort, mainly in a non-cooperative manner, his palm rested between the neckline and neck, against my skin.

"Can you be good and wait for me to come back?"

"I can't."

"I'm serious."

"Uh...... You're still telling you a lie. I smiled and teased him, my forehead against his sweater, and the fluffy one tickled me.

Two days later, at about eleven o'clock at night, I was at MS

to see him.

"Haven't slept yet?" I asked.

He didn't respond, so I continued to play and watch until I finally replied: "Hello, Qi Xiang is resting, what information can I convey on my behalf?" "

You're welcome. "Then is Your Excellency Senior Brother Zhang, or Senior Sister Hao? Hehe. "

I have heard Qi Xiang mention that Zhang Yu is his former roommate, and Hao Tiantian is the former's girlfriend, both of them are in Shenzhen, and it is said that they want to take the opportunity to get together.

But the other side was unmoved, still polite, refusing to have a little personal attitude: "No, they are all next door, do you need me to call them?" "

I was a little confused: "Oh, no, thank you." "

The other party called with a reserved smile on his face.

"Why did he rest so early?"

"Got a little bit of wine."

"Ah, is he alright?"

"He's a good drinker."

Listen to the tone, and be very familiar with him. "You're also a college classmate of his? Maybe we've seen it. "

The other end didn't take this stubble, and sent a line every once in a while: "How did you and Qi Xiang meet?" "

"......" I really forgot about this at first glance, and after thinking about it, I replied: "I am his junior sister, what about you?" "

"I'm an old friend of his."

At this point in the conversation, although I didn't ask, I was already basically sure that this was a woman, and it was a cold and contemptuous woman, and I was a little unhappy. "Oh, how did you meet?"

This person didn't reply for a long time, and I waited so long that I quickly went offline.

The next day, Qi Xiang called me, and when I asked, he said, "An old friend." "

Hey, did they string beforehand? Not a word is bad.

"Isn't this friend of yours usually very serious, as if he has been given Botox?"

"Don't talk about people like that, why is your child's mouth so bad."

"Where are you better than me?" I got so happy with the bad things that I forgot about it.

After the Lantern Festival, when I was packing up at home and preparing to go back to school, I received a call from my high school classmates.

Our high school class, together with the arts and sciences, has changed the class teacher three times, among which the students generally reflect the best, is the second, teaching chemistry teacher Zhao, he is kind and patient with the students, but this person's fate is quite unfortunate, after taking over us for a year, his son who is mindful of college suffers from leukemia, and the school has to find other teachers in the critical period of the third year of high school.

His son passed away the summer after our college entrance examination.

Later, when we talk about him and his child who died young, our tone will unconsciously lighten up, as if we are talking about impermanence itself, and we always maintain respect and sympathy for him.

So when the class president of the high school proposed to take the couple and the two elders out for lunch after the holidays, I couldn't refuse.

When I pushed the door in, my high school classmates were singing K, playing cards, playing cards, and playing high, and there were one or two girls I didn't know.

Three women and one man playing cards, the latter turned back to say hello to me, and then asked:

"Hey, where's Shen Sibo?"

"How do you ask me?"

"Aren't you two very familiar with each other, another school, don't ask which one you ask, what about others?"

"Who knows." I sat down.

"I heard he talked about it, didn't you?" The man easily turned around and continued to draw the cards.

I pretended not to hear.

"Huh?" He tilted his head and asked.

"It's not awkward for you to play cards with so many girls, go and go, I'll come." I got impatient and kicked him away.

"Who is it?" Someone asked again, with a rather meaningless expression, this time it was a woman.

At least one of the women on the card field, except for me, has been thinking about Shen Sibo, and most of them have this experience - they once had a crush, and after a few years of separation, the whereabouts of the other party's emotions are unknown, and their little unwillingness is still hesitating on the fork in the road.

"A woman."

"Haha, it won't be you, Zhuang Ning."

"Holy." I made a look of disgust and leaned back, "Thank you, can you not spoil my appetite." "

They giggled: "Yes, you two are going to be together, you have been together for a long time." "

Outsiders always understand a little better.

I sat there, every time I heard the door, my body didn't move, but it was as if I was being carried into the air, and I heard that it wasn't, and I fell down steadily.

I'm not afraid of him showing up. Let me start by talking about how this winter break was spent.

After that New Year's Day, suddenly, I felt that I had thought very clearly, and it was not me who had passed for half a year.

So I made a plan for myself to go for a run every day, listen to English, read professional and inspirational books, and go to relatives during the New Year.

Qi Xiang looked at me in his eyes, he didn't care much, just let me toss.

I'm like a new convert, or a patient who has tried a new treatment, anxious to achieve success, eager to be enlightened one day, eager to be healed overnight, and eager to show it to those who have hurt me, I understand, don't think that you can't do it without you, you can live your life well, I live a very good life.

Now there is finally this opportunity. What if he brought her? I thought, I can't ask for it.

Ten minutes later, Shen Sibo helped Mr. Zhao in, who had been suffering from rheumatism recently.

"Teacher Zhao is here, take a seat." The former squad leader hurriedly greeted: "Hi, handsome guy Shen." "

Shen Sibo was alone, and I took a breath of relief, and secretly relaxed when I didn't even pay attention. He nodded at me, and I looked at him with a blank face.

Just when he probably thought I was going back to my old ways, I stopped being too tired and smiled very stylized: "Here? Have a seat. "

He sat down next to me and watched me play cards.

The remaining two games of cards were played by me very deducingly, full of vigor and witty words, and the fate of firmly holding every drop of possible frustration, I inspired more than a month of ambition, I don't even want to listen to this kind of word.

Maybe people have two language systems, one goes to thinking and one goes to inertia, I am the latter at the moment, and then I think about it, everyone has been teased repeatedly, but I can't remember a word after that.

The people gradually arrived, the withdrawal game sat down around the table, the wine and the main course were served for a round, and the squad leader respectfully said: "Everyone is together, Mr. Zhao, if you say something, let's start the banquet?" "

Teacher Zhao looked around at the dozen or so of us, and his face was very emotional for a while, and he was silent for a while, and said, "Ho, I wish you all a happy life in the future." "

These two simple words are an extravagant hope for many people. It's obviously a kind greeting, but I don't know why I hear the desolation, the unattainable desolation.

Shen Sibo sat on my right. Hearing this, he smiled, the kind of himself, if I read it correctly, it was sad and helpless externalization.

During the banquet, everyone showed more or less the changes in the past two years, and most of the people's personalities have begun to be like a mellow transition, and they speak appropriately, but there is a lot of nonsense, nothing more than imagining the future and remembering the past.

A female classmate boldly mentioned: "Teacher, do you remember, you didn't confiscate the love letters given to me by boys in other classes back then." "

Teacher Zhao thought for a while: "I remember, the main letter is too poor, and I can't read it as a chemistry teacher." "

Everyone laughed: "That is, whoever has a situation in the future, you have to ask Mr. Zhao to be the first to check." "

The squad leader shouted: "Did you hear it, except for those who consciously brought their families, those who have other situations here, take the initiative to confess - hey, that handsome guy who doesn't know what he's thinking, talking about you." "

It wasn't until someone else bumped Shen Sibo with his elbow that he came back to his senses: "Huh? "

"We're curious."

Shen Sibo hesitated slightly, but quickly, he nodded in acknowledgement.

Everyone was excited: "Why don't you bring it out?" "

He smiled, "There is a chance." "

"It's a beauty, no."

"It's okay." He said lightly, there was no point in continuing to talk. But the squad leader was unwilling.

I can prove that the class president has no abnormal sexual orientation, and he has no special interest in Shen Sibo, but this topic is gimmicky, inflammatory, and can ensure that it is not cold, so it is easy not to give up, and seeing that the person concerned is not interested, he turned his head to find me:

"Oh, Zhuang Ning, do you know her...... Zhuang Ning? Zhuang Ning! What's going on today, what's going on one by one? Zhuang Ning! Tell us about it. "

I calmly took a cup and took two sips and said, "I don't know much about people's private affairs. "

"You've all seen one of you's from school, haven't you?"

I shook my head: "Well done secrecy. Shen Sibo glanced at me.

The squad leader asked again: "What about yourself, do you have any situation?" "

I said, "Yes." "

The other party may not have expected me to be so realistic: "Then in front of Mr. Zhao, hurry up and confess." "

When they asked, I replied with a smile and a smile as I pushed the cup and changed the glass. How did you meet? It's my senior brother, handsome, I've got my opinion, that's it, make do with it, where is it? Hehe, uh, hehe.

Fluttery.

Shen Sibo pressed my hand down, took the empty wine glass from my hand, and handed me the yogurt. I was impatient: "You don't care about me, what do you care about me?" "

No one spoke. Teacher Zhao coughed: "Zhuang Ning, drink to be happy, just do it in moderation." "

The squad leader said: "I don't see it, Zhuang Ning, you are still a powerful faction." "

A girl next to her muttered softly: "Is she out of love?" "

I said to her, "Who are you talking about?" Come, a glass to you - where's my wine? "

I didn't mean to, I tried my best to be happy at the moment, but like an actor who lacked talent, the more anxious and wrong it became, and the emotions were all crossed: "I have to clarify, I have to prove it." "

They all agreed: "Yes, how could Zhuang Ning fall out of love, we all understand without clarifying, don't drink, don't drink." "

I'm getting more and more anxious, why are they coaxing me so much, I'm obviously very good, why don't I believe it, I've worked hard for more than two months, I've changed my old feelings, isn't it all in vain: "Mine, where is my wine?" "

Shen Sibo stopped me: "I'll drink it for you, can I make it?" "

Things have come to this point, and then I can certainly excuse myself by saying that I don't remember anything about the rest of this long drunkenness.

But that's not the case.

It's not that Zhuang Ning, who drank too much, became another person, another person whose temperament and emotions have fundamentally changed, she herself is still there, her heart is cold and sober, but reason is all away from the ground, she knows everything, understands everything, but she can't control herself.

So as long as I am willing to recall, I can see her stumbling all the way out after the break, turning on the mobile phone to tune to Qi Xiang's number, and slamming it shut, no, no, no, no, what to call him at this time, is it a lifesaver, is he not weak in the face of Shen Sibo?

Shen Sibo pulled her back and beckoned to call a taxi. Before this Zhuang Ning got into the car, he also knew to wave to others, bye-bye, bye-bye, bye-bye to Mr. Zhao. When she was almost home, she couldn't do it, and Shen Sibo searched through her bag, but she couldn't find the key. Ask her, and she won't do anything but giggle.

You say, is there any success in her confusion, and if she doesn't cause something, she won't be happy - I can't answer this even a few years later.

Shen Sibo's room was as quiet as ever, a light gold stained with fine dust split in the middle of the heavy curtains, and the light was dim.

I was top-heavy, but every nerve was bouncing and excited, and I listened with my eyes open.

He walked around the living room through a door, poured water, turned on the gas with a click, and then went to take a shower, and the sound of water came from the bathroom, and after ten minutes the kettle whistled, and he went to close it.

Then he pushed the door open and put a cup of hot water on the bedside. I stared at him stubbornly, he was wearing a white T-shirt and his hair was wet: "Is it better?" "

He actually drank too much, only better than me.

"What did you ~ do with her~." I asked directly, not thinking about it at all: "Don't ~ try to lie to me, I can see it." "

He was stunned for a moment, and replied truthfully: "There was a little contradiction." "

I said, "Hah! Then I'm ~ very happy. "

He was a little embarrassed: "Don't do this. "

"What do you like, like~ her?"

He was silent for a moment: "I don't know. "

There is no more thorough answer than this.

"Then you~ Have you ever liked me?"

He looked at me and slowly emerged with a distressed smile:

"I thought you put it down."

"I thought so too." I cried halfway through that.

"Zhuang Ning, Zhuang Ning?" Shen Sibo panicked, he leaned down: "Don't cry." "

He's grown so big, he's seen me cry twice in total. He's so close to me.

That spring was unusual, the smell of disinfectant water in the air was everywhere, and people who loved each other had the feeling of talking about a falling love.

If my memory is not biased, L University was closed in mid-April, and classes were held normally during May Day Golden Week, and everyone had been in danger for a long time before that.

According to the school's written rules, I moved back to my dormitory at the beginning of the school year. For a while, the dormitory was very strict, and I could often hear the clappling footsteps in the corridor before and after the lights went out, and then someone would knock on the door, and many voices would yell together:

"Rounds! Rounds! "

When I opened the door, there would always be the light of a flashlight coming in horizontally, shining on me, on Zeng Xiaobai or Suma, and on the bed opposite me: "Why is this empty, people?" "

One of the three of us would reply, "She's out of school." "

After hearing this, the other party generally doesn't ask more, and sometimes tells him that he is not allowed to light candles, so he withdraws and brings the door from the outside.

The light was gone, and the stray footsteps were slowly moving away.

I climbed into bed and closed my eyes in the dark.

Let me start with a day about a week or so back from that high school meeting.

On the news on TV, SARS broke out in Guangdong.

I've been waiting for a phone call, nervous. Qi Xiang called my house before I was quarantined, and he asked me, "Why is your mobile phone not working?" "

"Oh, I lost my phone."

After a moment, he said, "You should at least tell me." "

I said, "I didn't mean to. "

I emailed him, I lost all my mobile phone numbers, and I still asked Luo Ting to back it up, and he could get my call a few minutes later--but I don't want to defend anything, it's like a traffic accident, and several people have hit me, and then argue that you have never run a red light, what's the point.

"Thankfully, it's finally ...... Watching TV in Shenzhen is quite serious. I scrambled and said, "You're okay — you're okay, right?" "

He was silent for two seconds: "I don't know. "

I was so immersed in my own mind that I didn't know how to put what I had thought into words, and I really didn't react for a while: "What, what do you mean?" "

"A colleague has developed symptoms yesterday, and all of us will be quarantined for observation for the next day or two."

"......"

"Don't worry, I think it's going to be fine." His tone was still steady: "Just to tell you, I may not be able to go back in the short term." "

But I began to tremble here, and many chaotic thoughts were extremely strong:

"I'm sorry, I'm sharing, I'm sorry."

He paused: "What are you sorry for me, you caused this epidemic?" "

I'm in the mood to pay attention to his banter.

"So you can't find me, make you worried, and ......" For the first time, I wanted to reach out and take the initiative to hold him, but at this moment, it turned out to be thousands of mountains and rivers.

Moreover, how can you be embarrassed Zhuang Ning, how can you be embarrassed.

He coughed lightly over there, and then changed his tone to a more relaxed tone: "Look, Junior Zhuang, if you don't want me to get used to it first, you will do this again." "

It was like someone grabbed me by the throat and couldn't speak.

He was silent for a while, and he must have been anxious at the moment, in a distant and unfamiliar place, with a frightened expression on his face, and he had nothing to rely on except himself, and he had to be wary of himself, and he compromised with the panic and insecurity that might arise from time to time.

I thought so, and slowly tried to find the usual Zhuang Ning, I couldn't use my fragility to disturb him anymore.

He spoke like a child at home: "It's going to be fine." "

I then emphasized, "Definitely not." "

"I'll be right here, waiting for you to come back." I said, "Qi Xiang, you must be good." "

The TV was on, and I fell asleep on the couch until my mom woke me up: "I need to go to bed." "

I looked up at the wall clock, eleven o'clock.

"Did Xiao Qi call?" My mom asked.

I shook my head. I got up and went to take a shower, and was about to go to the room when my mother stopped me again: "Come here, drink this and go to sleep." "

I don't know where she got the home remedies to fight SARS, radishes, orange peels, ginger and coriander stewed together, the taste can be imagined.

"It's terrible."

"You have to drink it even if it's hard to drink." My mother was not angry: "You just felt the cold, you have to pay more attention." "

"I'll take a leave of absence as soon as school starts." She looked at me drinking soup and said, "Attending a party, I went home drenched at night, and I don't know where I lost my mobile phone, your mother, I don't understand, how can you go back to a child who knew a lot before?" People have atypical pneumonia, you have to have a typical pneumonia to live, right? "

I resisted passively and remained silent, and sure enough, she comforted me in turn:

"Xiao Qi, don't worry too much, he's a young man in good health......"

Both of us seemed to have forgotten a conversation we had a few days ago, when I asked her, "Mom, if I am separated from Qi Xiang...... Will you ......"

My mother was stunned and said, "Whatever you want." After a while, he understated: "What's wrong with him?" "

"He's fine." I replied, "I'm not good." "I did things I couldn't explain.

"It's not because of Shen Sibo, right?"

When she saw that I didn't speak, her tone became sharp:

"Xiao Ning, I don't allow you to be confused anymore. We can't control what happens to you and Xiao Qi in the future, but I clearly tell you, Shen Sibo can't. "

This happened before Qi Xiang made that phone call, and you can imagine that if Qi Xiang was really "fine" at that time, I would talk to him about something.

Just when I'm in MS

When she backed up her number to Luo Ting, she asked, who was far away in Shanghai:

"You know, there was a rape case in L University, saying that the girl was from law school, which class and class the two people belonged to, do you know each other? ......"

She was referring to the fact that in the spring of 2003, in addition to SARS, the second largest number of old news worth talking about.

Before the outbreak of SARS, L University was entering the countdown stage of undergraduate evaluation, which was the day before the registration of the new semester.

According to the security officer, it was still good weather that afternoon, but it suddenly began to rain at dusk. They got that call and rushed to the gym with their feet covered in mud and creaking as they stepped on the wooden floor in front of the break room, and if the boy and girl weren't in the heat of the day - they wouldn't have been caught so much.

They pushed open the door of the locker room, and it was dark, a scream, a girl's scream.

The boy instinctively raised his arms to block the oncoming glare from his face.

In 08, there was a meal in the cafeteria, and the child who had just graduated talked about the previous laws of our country, one of which was called "the crime of indecency", which was in charge of the relationship between men and women, and she said in the tone of talking about unearthed cultural relics, it was really unimaginable.

I said, don't talk about the 90s, we were the same back then, it was written in the school rules.

This kid looked at him incredulously, you were so strange back then, who cares about this kind of thing now, no more, go to the school gate to open an hourly room, and ensure that the emperor can't take care of it.

I nodded, you have a point.

But that was really the case back then. If the school commits this kind of crime against the wind, and people report it to your security department, even if you want to tolerate it, there is no room for it.

At the very least, my former best friend, and the man I once loved, their lives have been different since then.

No matter what the people in the security department asked, Shen Sibo insisted:

"I forced her." He said, "I took the opportunity to hide from the rain and tricked her into going to the gym, and I forced her. "

The security cadres were helpless: "Why are you so strong, what a glorious thing, you are so big-packed." "

The incident did not have a very large-scale impact. It is said that Uncle Shen found a lot of connections, and in the end, the school only gave his son a very light punishment and did not report it.

As for Xie Duan, he didn't receive any punishment, but Teacher Li Yun quickly went to L University, took her back, and quickly helped her take a one-year leave of absence.

Of course, at the time when I poured down the bowl of chowder that my mother brought me, I didn't know anything about the follow-up of Shen Sibo and Xie Duan's matter, and if anyone mentioned it to me, it was as if I hadn't heard it.

Anyway, my mom never mentioned it to me. I later learned that during that time, she was on other minds.

I didn't realize it, she was watching me worriedly—she had eaten a little, and she had a look of disgust, and her menstrual cycle was like a timer, but it had been delayed for the month.

I listened to my mother knocking on the side and asking, Xiao Ning, is there anything uncomfortable? I replied nonchalantly, no. Didn't understand what she meant.

Probably she also understands that her daughter is in a difficult period, and her boyfriend is thousands of miles away and in dire straits, so this should not be done directly.

Both mother and daughter have a lot of forbearance, and they can only have a corner to communicate with themselves at the moment. I wondered later, how was my mother's mind working? If the dream comes true – to paraphrase a classic – what if she's going to take us? What is she going to do if she is ready to take it together?

Unknown.

I jokingly asked her later, but she didn't say anything, and she was impatient to ask—go, I didn't bother at the time, where did I have the time to care about your little children's business.

Zeng Xiaobai called me, Zhuang Ning, the school stipulates that all of them should be moved back to the dormitory, you should come back quickly, the dormitory is empty with two beds, and we can't cover up when we check the room.

I went to the street that day to get a replacement SIM card, and then took the bus back to school. Everyone on the bus was wearing masks and looked gloomy. I went to the rented house to pack my things, and Yan Weiwei helped find a small three-wheeler and sent me to the bottom of the dormitory.

"The two of us can't move in one trip." I said, "You're here to help me watch." "

She sat down on my sorting box and waved her hand: "Go on, go, I'll treat you to dinner after Mali moves." "

There was a smell of disinfectant water in the corridor, a faint sunshine, I dragged the suitcase and stood at the door of the dormitory, a little trance-like, as if as soon as I pushed the door open, I could foresee that the delicate little girl raised her head and smiled at me: "Are you here?" "

But no. Her bed was empty.

The dorm room was empty, so I let go of my luggage and spun around twice, sitting down blankly, my fingers back and forth, rubbing the thorns on the edge of the square stool.

It tripped me two years ago, and the boy I loved two years ago waited safely downstairs. Everything proceeds in a constant force that seems to have no beginning and no end.

And now, it's like falling into a stall, the situation is displaced.

Suddenly, I was stabbed with a stab.

I woke up suddenly, and there was really someone waiting for me downstairs! Yan Weiwei! She will definitely roar in her face, Zhuang Ning, people don't have as long as you to have a child!

Hurry to the balcony, I'm ready to shout, don't worry, I'll come down right away!

Under the carport, next to the green sorting box, there was really a person standing.

I don't wear glasses, at first glance, why is Yan Weiwei so much taller? --This thought only had a faint flicker, and immediately there was an agitated emotion, which flooded into my heart, and the emotional fluctuations arrived before judgment, and before I even reacted, my body was already trembling.

He's certainly not Yan Weiwei. But strangely enough, his appearance before, and never before, gave me such a shock, and before I knew it, I had already cried out:

"Enjoy!"

I heard my voice, how to describe it, as if I was still in terror for the rest of my life, with sharp joy, and I was startled by myself.

Qi Xiang looked up and saw me, and his expression changed in an instant, a shining, silent joy. The world was silent for three or two seconds until he opened his arms to me.

I turned around and ran, almost hitting the stool again, but I finally reacted in time to get around and ran until I reached the corner of the second floor, and then I gradually found stability - as soon as my pace slowed down, it directly turned into hesitation.

I don't seem to be right. Just ran all the way down and threw herself into his arms, like a real, heartless little girlfriend? Like, like how much you really love people?

How embarrassing are you, Zhuang Ning.

I climbed the handrail, sat down on the steps, buried my face in the palm of my hand, curled up and didn't move for more than ten seconds, then rubbed my cheeks, stood up, and went downstairs.

As soon as Qi Xiang's gaze touched me, he walked quickly to this side, and I stopped on the steps, and watched him eagerly and as calmly as he walked through such a short distance, very strangely, strangely. His appearance has not changed, and even his coat is the same as on the day of parting, but when he laughed, I actually blushed, and when he spoke first, the voice that had not been heard for a long time: "Little girl, how are you doing?" "

I didn't pay attention, and even stumbled: "You, what about you?" "

"......"

I don't know what it was that provoked a tender reaction in him, but I looked at the look in his eyes and thought he was about to touch my hair, but he just reached out and touched his chin. You must know that Qi Xiang is usually the kind of person who basically has no small movements, so he resists his instinctive actions like this, especially that.

Being too intimate in public, I'm not used to it, and neither is he. So then he just nudged my shoulder: "Let's go, help you carry your luggage." "

"That's right, Yan...... What about my roommate? "

"That's what reminds you of people?" Qi Xiang said this, as if he had always remembered this incident: "Let's go." "

"I haven't thanked her yet."

"I thank you." Qi Xiang leaned over and lifted the box: "I promised, I will provide a few paragraphs when I have time to use them as writing materials for her." "

Auntie didn't bother much, took a look at the sorting box and then looked at Qi Xiang: "Send it up and come down." "

There were so many things in the room that I took a few cardboard boxes to the balcony, and when I came back, I saw him leaning against the bedrail, unbuttoning the cuff of his shirt on the other side with one hand, in a relaxed, pleasant, lazy posture.

and undefended.

I stood one step away and said hesitantly, "Enjoy ......"

"It's too far away to hear clearly." He scooped me up with one arm: "Say it." "

I couldn't find the right words for a while: "Let's talk about you first, how did you get back?" "

"Well." He usually doesn't speak in this tone: "Buy a ticket, board the plane, take a look at the beautiful flight attendant, and it's here." "

"I don't mean that...... Why didn't you call me when you were fine? "

"I called your house before I got on the plane, and Lingtang said that you went back to school." He said that in the morning, the hospital had just announced that the quarantine had been lifted, and when he flew back from the airport, he went to Lingcheng Hospital for a check-up and took his temperature, "and then he was put on the road." When he said this, I couldn't help but laugh, the group of elites in their bank, big and small, was described by him as a nest of small animals with a sense of dazedness of escape.

"No wonder I just got the card to call you today, your mobile phone was turned off, and you just got on the plane at that time, right?"

"Hmm." He let go a little and looked at me: "Really, scaring you these days?" "

"Huh?"

"Why else are you still stupid?" He smiled: "Such a good speech, unlike you." "

"......"

Before I could react, he lowered his head and kissed my forehead, very restrained, this action is usually a prelude to letting go, but instead, he hugged me tightly. It's like he hasn't decided what to do next? I don't know, I don't know, it's a kind of ignorance that goes hand in hand with pleasure, and the world seems to be like a swing, shaking lightly and slowly.

I miss you a lot.

He said.

The slightest ambiguity in his voice, whether he is good at it or not, or a cover for strong emotions, is reasonable.

I chuckled inwardly.

Emotions are a thing that often can't be analyzed, speculated, pre-set, and happened on time, it is always updated in real time, and then it sways you to make new trade-offs and judgments. One second the determination is still swearing, the next moment it may suddenly weaken.

Qi Xiang's smile, including his whole person, seemed to be the first new and bright thing I had seen in a while, and the rest was so broken that it was impossible to look back.

So I couldn't have predicted in advance that at this moment in his arms, I would be like this, and my courage would be lost.

I told Qi Xiang what happened that day. On the afternoon after that high school party, Shen Sibo was close to me, and he said, Zhuang Ning, I thought you had put it down.

I thought so too, and I cried halfway through the sentence. Alcohol makes my will very weak.

Shen Sibo panicked, he leaned over: "Don't cry, don't cry, Xiao Ning." "

He's grown so big, and he's seen me cry twice, and he's so close to me, and he can smell breathing.

But he's not mine, he's found his 100% girl, and I'm just his landscapes and pagodas, as for those unfinished encounters, the other side that can't be reached, and the fingertips that can't be touched, all have nothing to do with me.

"Xiao Ning." He said gently, because he was flustered, or perhaps because he had not yet woken up from the wine, and he was a little slurred: "You...... Don't ...... like that."

I looked up and kissed him on the lips.

At that moment I didn't think about it, my heart was beating very hard, but there was no tenderness or honey in it, just a hideous pleasure, aha, look, he didn't object, he even cooperated--you are nothing more than that, but so.

But this disillusionment was not enough, not enough to lift the curse of twenty years of wishful thinking. I put my hand on his shoulder and clumsily encouraged him.

It's strange that I was drunk at the time, but every move I made, every beginning and end of my mind, was vividly fixed by memory. Yes, I still remember the calm joy I felt when I did this, it was like an adulterous concubine who was about to succeed in plotting the dynasty and usurping the throne in ancient times, but who sought whose dynasty and who usurped whose throne, this confused account has reached this point, and no one can calculate it clearly.

Until Shen Sibo panted: "No, no, hey, no." "

He seemed to wake up suddenly, like an insect finally breaking through a spider's web, and he pulled away and took a step back.

I heard my phone ringing, I don't know how long it had been ringing.

"I can't hurt you." He took his coat and put it in his hand, took out his mobile phone and pressed it, took a breath, and then looked up and said to me, "I like you very much, but I love Duanduan." "

He was out of reach again, and his unwillingness to enter the house again.

All the blood rushed to my face, and before I could react, I had already slapped it.

On Shen Sibo's fair face, red marks gradually appeared, and he whispered, "Zhuang Ning, I'm sorry." "

Then he withdrew, and pushed the door open from the outside.

I seemed to have said a lot, and I didn't seem to say a word, but Qi Xiang on the other side already knew everything, I didn't need to look at it to know that his face became ugly, he sneered twice, and then disappeared without a trace.

When I opened my eyes, it was still dark, and the sleeping girls were breathing deeply.

I don't know if it came from the need for relief or the fear that I couldn't get away with, but fortunately it wasn't true, but unfortunately it wasn't.

There was one less person in the dormitory, and I don't know if Zeng Xiaobai and Suma would communicate in private, but they never mentioned it in front of me.

The school handled this matter very low-key, and as for the people, there was a discussion on the school forum for a while, and some specious news came out, and it soon passed without a trace.

At noon that day, I took food to the dormitory after class, and met Zeng Xiaobai at the door, she was carrying a hot water bottle, and she looked ghostly: "Do you know who is coming?" "

"？"

"Xie Duan's mother, I'll go get some water, you can find something to say first."

"......"

I hesitated for two seconds, but pushed the door in.

I finally met the legendary Teacher Li, and I had to use several words to describe her, for example, she was a "fair-skinned" "small" "middle-aged woman".

But if I had to define it with just one, I would use a verb instead of an adjective, which is "linked".

There is such a kind of person, they seem to be affected by something else, they are affected by the world, such people are easy to recognize, you just have to see the expression on their face that is tolerant all the time - and just right for everyone to understand that they are tolerant - and that's pretty much it.

Teacher Li is such a person, she was folding a pile of clothes when I entered the door, turned her head to look at me, and at the moment she smiled with a little strength, so she took it out and took it back: "You are Zhuang Ning, right?" "

"Hmm." I put the lunch box down and thought about it, but I couldn't think of what to say.

"Sorry to interrupt your lunch break." She didn't really feel guilty about what she said, it doesn't matter if you forgive me or not.

"It's okay, we don't have the habit of taking a nap, you're busy."

I ate slowly, flipping through a fashion magazine, and after a while, Zeng Xiaobai came back and poured hot water for Mr. Li with the cup that Xie served.

"Thank you, Xiao Zeng."

"You're welcome." Zeng Xiaobai glanced at me, then turned his head and asked, "You took all of this with you?" "

"Yes." She explained to us by the way: "I feel a little uncomfortable, I have a hereditary heart problem, and I may have to rest at home for a while." "

"Heart, that's not going to work." Zeng Xiaobai continued: "When will you come back?" "

Teacher Li said lightly: "Wait until she is well." "

She knew we knew she was talking nonsense, but both sides of the conversation made the lie perfect. And I still eat my meal, and the sight of one meal eats me old.

I swept the bowl and continued to sit there reading magazines until Mr. Li left, and Zeng Xiaobai sat down next to me and pulled it out of my hand.

"Don't be so stingy." I said, this magazine is Zeng Xiaobai's.

"Am I stingy?" She slammed it on the table: "Even if she's sorry for you, she's miserable enough now, what's the matter with you just leaving someone's mother there?" "

"Or else?"

"You can at least comfort her implicitly, she ......"

I laughed.

Someone paused, glared at me, and I said, "Okay, Zeng Xiaobai." "

She was silent for a moment: "Zhuang Ning, I'm quite sorry for you, really." "

She got up and walked away.

In the afternoon, I went to the student office to get the papers, and after a while in the administration building, I saw Ms. Li coming out of the academic affairs office, she was at least five years older than when we first met, she stood against the wall for a while, and then she picked up her shoulders again and walked straight to the elevator.

She came to Xie Duan to go through the formalities of suspension.

From behind, I hurried up: "I'll send you." "

She subconsciously hid at first, thinking that she might be tired and couldn't hold it anymore, so I carried the things in her hand.

A heavy travel bag was stuffed into Xie Duan's life for more than two years.

I helped her stop the rental at the school gate, and when the green Charlie drove towards us, I said:

"Thank you for her ......"

Teacher Li took her bag and asked me not to talk about it with her eyes.

I watched her get into the taxi, and through a layer of glass, her shoulders collapsed.

Qi Xiang completed his training at the Shanghai head office, and before the order came down, he had a period of rest that he did not rely on.

As soon as the spring was strong and the wind began to soften, he accompanied me to eat in the cafeteria, study on his own in the library, and slowly shook around the campus, and the people around him recognized me, some recognized him, and some recognized the two of us at the same time, looking at us in shock:

"You two ......?"

After a few times, you get used to it.

There are also some that others can't see. For example, in the past, if I was uncooperative and made a mistake, he was more or less annoyed, this person was too lazy to force and lazy to reason, you can think clearly for yourself, that's good, you can't think clearly, that's your own business, he can do what he can do within his boundaries, and nothing else will be accommodating.

Now, in the general direction, he is still the same Qi Xiang, but I haven't seen that kind of expression on his face for a long time, a faint impatience and tolerance.

On second thought, I did not give him a chance to be impatient, and now I hardly look for trouble, whether in words or deeds, and I immediately lose my appetite for the fulfillment of others when I think of what I have done.

During that time, I almost became a well-behaved little girlfriend.