Buddha? What is Buddha? Objectively speaking, it is probably a belief in people's hearts.

Philosophy is concerned with how society should develop in the future, and theology is concerned with God guiding the future of mankind.

But that kind of God is not the God we usually know, but the God of a broader sense.

In the inherent image, the gods and Buddhas we know are all high, some of them are cold, some are majestic, all in all, all kinds of lofty, can save the world from life and death when the danger of life and death, we and other fart people, can only bow down and worship.

But who has ever seen a Buddha lack a mind?

Well, there's one.

Tang Seng, also known as Tang Xuanzang, also known as Elder Tang, needless to say, the name of this benevolent brother, his story can be described as a household name. But as a monk and a Buddha, Elder Tang actually relied mainly on a dish to last for centuries....... Ah, of course, this dish is his own.

I have to say it's a shame.

There is no way, as long as the world mentions him, the first thing that comes to mind is basically not Elder Tang's illustrious background, nor the perseverance to seek the true scriptures, not to mention the eyes that have long been blinded, but the famous dish through the ages, "Tang monk meat!" "The main ingredient is taken from Elder Tang himself.

As a monk, Elder Tang has led the food industry for thousands of years, and it has to be said that it is a miracle.

Countless demons and monsters have come and gone, even if they risk their lives, they have eaten this famous dish for the ages, and even today it is still the case

In the 12th seminar of the "Tang Seng Friendship Association" not long ago, at the meeting, the president of the Friendship Association and all members made a clear statement.

"Even if Elder Tang has become a Buddha, we will never give up and vow to eat Tang monk's meat! In addition, color. Don't try it in the future, Elder Tang is probably blind, and I hope that the female members will cherish themselves. ”

"At present, it is proposed to make a set, preferably the kind that can let him jump into the pot by himself, according to the investigation, after becoming a Buddha, Elder Tang began to lack his heart."

said that Elder Tang lacked heart and eyes, well, that is still reliable, but if you want to say that he is blind, the person who said this must have been blind for a while.

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Qingluan is right, the colorful phoenix is in pairs, the Sanskrit sound is full, and the floating slaughter is fully displayed.

In the Lingshan Da Lei Yin Temple, which is shrouded in the heavenly peace and Buddha light.

The golden giant Buddha meditated cross-legged on the lotus platform, one hand was folded, his lips were slightly open, and golden Sanskrit words were spit out of his mouth, and the Buddha's shining face was full of compassion.

Today is the day of the Buddha's preaching, and what we are talking about today is the Huayan Sutra from the beginning to the present, and the Buddha has been preaching for four whole days.

Below the two sides of the Great Lei Yin Temple, the three thousand Buddhas listened attentively and quietly to the Buddha's teachings.

Some people put their palms together and recite a Buddha name whenever they hear something wonderful.

Some people close their eyes and don't say no.

Some people bare-chested and laughed all the time.

Some people look up at the Buddha, their eyes rolling, their brows furrowed, and they think carefully.

Some people are full of spring and have their eyebrows to convey affection....... Well? Eyebrows? Hey, here comes the heartless one.

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Behind the embarrassed Guanyin Bodhisattva, the Tang monk wearing a brocade robe and a very handsome face is extremely solemn in this extremely solemn. On the day of the solemn lecture, he even talked about Guanyin Bodhisattva with eyebrows.

"Hey, Sister Guanyin, don't you have time for a while, let's go have a meal together?"

Guanyin shook his head, pretending not to hear.

A certain out-of-stock does not give up.

"Hey, Sister Guanyin, your long hair is really getting more and more flowing, give me a little bit?"

Guanyin Bodhisattva still ignored him.

"I said Sister Guanyin, you ......"

Just when Guanyin was disturbed by this two hundred and five, the Buddha on the lotus throne suddenly stopped preaching, looked at the two hundred and five with a smile, and said loudly.

"Since the end of the last battle against the sky, seven years have passed in the lower realm, whether it is my Buddhism or the vitality of the heavenly court has not yet recovered, recently, the poor monk heard that the demons in the lower realm are rampant now, and the mortal world is miserable, and there needs to be someone to subdue the demons in the lower realm on behalf of my Buddhism.

When the words fell, the three thousand Buddhas all looked at the famous Buddha of Zhantan Merit, who had caused countless troubles.

Tang Seng was stunned and said, "Huh? Descending? What are you doing? ”

The Buddha smiled all over his face, "Guess. ”

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Standing in the busy modern city, the handsome Tang Seng touched his big bald head, and kept scolding at the endless flow of vehicles in front of him.

"If you come to this old bald donkey, your heart is getting smaller and smaller, what am I doing, what am I doing? Isn't it just chatting with Sister Guanyin, this is good, and I was beaten down, I was an eyesore, and I was directly killed to count the ball, do you think I am willing to nod and pretend to be a grandson in front of you every day! ”

"It sounds good to go down to the mortal world to subdue demons and eliminate demons, but there is still a fart demon in this mortal world!"

"Grandma, this is so old and immortal, this is such an old bastard, this is such an old bald donkey!"

Don't doubt that the bald Wu Ke in front of you with a dirty exit is indeed the famous Tang Sanzang.

To say that Tang Seng is also miserable enough, his situation, now almost belongs to the disguise of being degraded to the mortal, and there is no way not to depreciate, because since he became a Buddha, Elder Tang let go of himself and let himself fly is called a powerful, the Buddha has long pondered to throw this goods to the place where there is no one, and the province has smeared Buddhism every day.

As everyone knows, just because of Tang Seng's affairs, the Jade Emperor has chewed his tongue with the Buddha in recent years, and the Buddha's face has long been lost by Elder Tang.

Hundreds of years ago, when the people of Heaven saw the Bodhisattvas and Arhats of Buddhism, they would bow with great respect.

But in recent years, it has basically been ........

"Ahh What the hell! ”

All of this was due to Elder Tang's unruly behavior.

For example, a few years ago, Tang Seng took a group of immortals to gather to gamble, and the good guys didn't gamble on some good things, so why did they gamble that the Jade Emperor was scolded by the Queen Mother last time?

The stall of one loss is to bet on the Jade Emperor to peek at the beautiful fairy.

The stall of one to three gambles is that the Jade Emperor is saying bad things about the Queen Mother behind his back.

Elder Tang was the most ruthless, gambling that the Jade Emperor would go down to prostitution, and he would lose twenty-six for one piece, but he still won....... Unfortunately, the Queen Mother's personal maid also bet and bought a stall with a loss of three.

During that time, the entire Heavenly Court could hear the screams coming from Yao Chi.......

After the gambling incident, the Jade Emperor, who had a blue nose and swollen face and scratches on his face, reorganized the atmosphere of the heavenly court with a heavy hand, and Tang Seng was also called back to the west by the Buddha and scolded him.

But it's okay, don't gamble, then go do something else, what? Let's go and peek at the seven princesses of the Jade Emperor, what are you peeking at? What do you say, take a bath, he can't look at anything else.

Therefore, Elder Tang is definitely not blind, not only that, if Tang Seng sees the Jade Emperor in the heavenly court, this benevolent brother can still shamelessly go up and shout "Dad", making the Jade Emperor tremble, and several times he asked Li Tianwang to lead the troops to directly beat Tang Seng out.

Until now, Nantianmen is not open to Tang Seng, similar to Commissioner Huang, and Tang Seng's reputation is also stinky in Tianting.

You said that it was just such a shortage, let alone driving him down to earth, the Buddha didn't pick his skin, it was all the compassion of the monks.

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Standing in the busy modern city, although Elder Tang was still angry, looking at the mortal world, which was already different from a thousand years ago, Elder Tang couldn't help but smile.

"Although I was driven down to the mortal by the old bald donkey who came to the earth, it is not bad, is it safe to come, not to mention the mortal ......."

Looking at a beautiful girl in a miniskirt walking in front of him, Tang Seng looked at Ha Lazi, and his eyes were full of those two long legs with white flowers.

"Ahem," retracting his gaze, Tang Seng looked at the high-rise buildings around him, touched his stomach, and smacked his tongue: "Since you were driven down by the old bald donkey of Rulai, then you should take a holiday, go, take a good look at the changes in this mortal world, find a place to eat by the way, and talk about when you have had enough." ”

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"Welcome, master, please, how many of you have?"

Walking into a relatively high-end hotel, Tang Seng swaggered down at the dining table, and the hotel waiter hurriedly came up to entertain him.

Elder Tang shook his monk's robe, changed his previous confusion, folded his hands, and the smile on his face was very kind, to be honest, if this benevolent brother didn't speak, he would still have a bit of a high-ranking monk's style.

"The poor monk is alone, and I don't know what good food you have here?"

Out of respect for the monk, the waiter respectfully introduced all kinds of dishes to Tang Seng, mainly because Tang Seng's appearance was too deceptive, especially the robe on his body, which was not an ordinary object at first glance, not to mention fifty or sixty thousand, a proper monk.

The waiter was very considerate and introduced to Elder Tang the dishes of their restaurant, what vegetarian three fresh, fried noodles, delicious fish, all kinds of variety.

After hearing this, Elder Tang nodded presently, and said very easily: "Well, yes, bring me a chicken." ”

"Okay, I'll give you a ......"

"Chickens? What do you say, master? "The waiter looked like he was going to hell.

Tang Seng frowned, "Bring me a roast chicken, then a sauce elbow, if you have a roast leg of mutton, you can also have a serving, in the whole pot of good wine, if it is not enough, I will call you again." ”

The waiter was dumbfounded, he had lived so big, and for the first time he saw a monk who was about to drink wine and eat meat when he opened his mouth.

Alas, forget it, these days, what kind of person doesn't have it, it doesn't matter what he eats, he can get money.

Soon, a table of meat dishes was placed on the table, and Tang Seng looked at it.

After a tumultuous meal, there were empty plates and chicken bones left on the table, and even the soup was licked clean, and the waiter standing next to him was shocked to see this, for fear that the master would even gnaw on the plate.

"Oh, yes, yes, not only has this mortal world changed a lot, but even the taste of the food is much better than before." After eating, Tang Seng held a toothpick in his mouth, touched his stomach comfortably and stood up, the waiter hurriedly greeted him, and said with a smile: "Master, have you eaten?" ”

"Eat well, eat well, good, the meal is very delicious, thank you for the donor's hospitality, the poor monk is grateful, see you back." Tang Seng said very politely, and was about to walk out the door.

The waiter hurriedly stopped in front of him, and said a little embarrassed: "That master, you have eaten, should you give it a meal?" ”

As soon as he heard the words "food money", Master Sanzang, who was originally very kind, instantly had a face full of arrogance, and his face turned horizontal, revealing an extremely fierce and unbelievable expression: "What? Meal? How dare you ask Lao Tzu for food! ”

Tang Seng, who was more than eight meters tall, stepped on the chair and scolded: "Grandma, dare to ask Lao Tzu for food money, you are so tired and crooked!" Do you know who Lao Tzu is? Do you know what Lao Tzu does! I'm in a hurry, I'm careful to demolish your restaurant for you, get out! I've never heard of rice money in my life! ”

Such a high-level quality combo is really extraordinary, worthy of Elder Tang.

The waiter was frightened by the rogue Tang Seng in front of him and retreated again and again.

Oh my God, who the hell is this! Why did he change his face so quickly, and how could he be so justified when he ate white food?

"Master, you have to give money for dinner, if you don't give money, I can't explain." The waiters were almost frightened and cried by the fierce Tang Seng.

At this moment, Tang Seng also came back to his senses, and an apologetic look appeared on his face.

It's not good, I'm used to eating overlord meals before, and I forgot what my identity is now.

"This, don't be afraid, I don't know how to give the money for the meal, who is the poor monk, can you do that kind of immoral thing," while saying, Tang Seng swept around with his residual vision, and soon saw that on the dining table not far away, a middle-aged man took out a few pieces of red paper from his arms, and then bowed with a smile from the waiter, and left the hotel with the female companion next to him talking and laughing.

Elder Tang knew it in his heart, and without saying a word, he put his right hand behind his back, "Brush," and a stack of Grandpa Mao appeared in his hand out of thin air.

In the waiter's stunned eyes, Elder Tang slapped the money on the waiter's face angrily, "The extra money will be used as a tip for you," after speaking, he lifted the monk's robe again, and turned to leave.

That's it, the mouth is still broken.

"Mom, Lao Tzu was tired and tired to learn from them, but he dared to ask me for money after eating their meals? Ahh What is it! I was so blind back then, Purdue, you bastards. ”

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In the Great Thunder Sound Temple.

The Buddha looked at what Tang Seng did in the mirror, and couldn't help but sigh, "This evil man is really not worry-free." ”

After that, with a finger, a golden light flew into the body of Tang Seng in the mirror image conjured by mana.

"In the future, you can only use mana once in seven days."

"Jin Chanzi, don't waste this piece of hard work for the teacher, last time you lost to the teacher, but this time...... I only hope that what Lao Jun said is not true, but it is so, and the poor monk has a clear conscience. ”

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As night fell, Tang Seng, who had been wandering around the city all day, didn't know that he was no longer able to use mana, he only knew that he was hungry and it was time to eat.

Coming to a building more than twenty stories high, Tang Seng looked at the big characters on it and nodded.

"Tianlong Hotel, well, yes, let's eat here tonight."