We followed the car and turned the corner. We left the noisy human voices, left the brilliant lights, and walked into a quiet stone alley. I don't speak, and all I have in my ears is the regular rattle of her half-heels.

The moonlight shone faintly.

"I haven't walked on the street for two years, and I get in a car at every turn," she said, as if noticing that her silence was disturbing me, and began to speak to me.

"I see, Mrs. Yao, you better go back by car first. There are still a few streets, and it doesn't matter if I'm used to it," I said again. It's not all kind words, because I'm worried that she'll get tired; Second, I feel constrained when I walk with her like this.

"It doesn't matter, Mr. Li, don't worry about me, I don't learn to walk, I'm afraid I won't even be able to walk in the future," she looked at me and said with a smile. "When there was an alarm the year before, we also 'ran the alarm' in our own car, but occasionally walked in the countryside. In the past two years, there have also been fewer alerts. Not only did he not like to walk, he also didn't let me walk, and he didn't let Xiaohu walk. ”

"Mrs. Yao is very busy at home, isn't she?"

"Not busy. Very idle. There were only three of us in our family. The people under the people who use it are good, and if there is anything, there is no need to tell them, they will do it well. I have nothing to do, so I just read books for fun. I have also read several of Mr. Lai's masterpieces. ”

I'm most afraid of hearing people say they've read my books to their faces. Now that such words came out of her mouth, I was even more ashamed to hear them. I said apologetically, "It's too badly written." It's not worth reading Mrs. Yao. ”

"Mr. Li, you are too polite. You are an old friend who recites poetry, so you shouldn't be so polite to me. Poetry often speaks to me about you. I don't deserve to criticize your masterpiece, but I've read your book and I'm sure you're a good person. I think it's a blessing for him to have a friend like you. He knows many people, but he has too few confidants and friends," she said sincerely, her voice low but clear and sweet; But I felt that there was a faint sadness in her tone. I said in my heart with compassion: What about you? Do you have any friends and confidants? Why don't you think about yourself? But I can't say such things in front of her. I could only respond to her.

We walked three streets. I didn't speak, I had too many words in my heart.

"I always think like this, people who write novels have a kind of compassionate bodhisattva heart, otherwise how can a person's stomach accommodate the misfortune of many people, how can a person's pen vent the sorrow of many people? So, I think Mr. Li will be able to help with the poetry recitation one day......"

"Mrs. Yao, you are kind again, what can I do to help him? Isn't he doing well? His life is much better than mine! I said with emotion. I felt that I understood what she meant, and at the same time I was afraid that I had misguessed her truth, so I comforted her with this perfunctory remark, and at the same time used it to show that I could not do anything about it.

"Mr. Li, you must understand my words, at least one day you will. I'm sure you novelists see things much more deeply than the average person. Ordinary people only look at the surface, but you also have to discover people's hearts. I think your life is also very bitter, I am afraid that if you see it too deeply, you will still see more pain and less joy......"

Her voice trembled slightly, and the aftermath dragged on, like a sigh, like a cry, all into my heart, cutting my heart.

I lost the strength of patience, I forgot myself, I hated to dig my heart out, I said to her earnestly, "Mrs. Yao, I can't say I understand you or not. But don't worry. Please remember that a wife like you should be the happiest person in the world. "I was so excited that I couldn't say the following. At this point, I was suddenly afraid that she would misunderstand me and take my words as a joke, or even an offense.

She was silent, not even making a slight sound. She buried her head slightly. After a while, she raised her face again. But she never answered me. I didn't dare say anything to her anymore. Her eyes were towards the sky, and I couldn't see the expression on her face.

The silence embarrassed me, but I didn't want to run away from it. She didn't mention taking the car, so I had to walk back to the mansion with her. No matter what impression my words may have on her mind, since I have spoken my true word, I will have to bear the consequences of all this. I have no regrets.

Her steps weren't as steady as before. Probably she also lost her peace of mind. I wish I could know what she was thinking. But how do I know?

There were still two streets away from home, and at that intersection, she suddenly turned her face to look at me and asked, "Mr. Li, I heard that you are writing a novel again, right?" Her soft, sweet-scented voice broke the silence.

"Yes. I don't have anything to do, use it to kill time. ”

"But writing too much in a day is not very good for the body. Sister-in-law Zhou said, you lie on the table all day and write. The square table was low and even more inconvenient. Tomorrow I'll tell you to change the writing desk. But Mr. Lai, you should also write less. You don't seem to be in good health," she said with concern.

"Actually, I don't write much," I said gratefully. Then I added two more sentences: "If you don't write, you won't have anything." I don't have any hobbies other than watching movies, but good films are rare these days. ”

"I like to read novels. Reading a novel is like watching a movie. I often wonder how one person's brain can come up with so many complex things at the same time. Mr. Li, have you thought about the story of this novel? What kind of people are you writing about this time? ”

I told her what the novel was about. She seemed to be listening attentively. By the end of the day, we had reached home.

Lao Li pulled the car in first. Mrs. Yao walked behind with me. Li Laohan stood respectfully in front of the Taishi chair, and behind him stood a black man against the wall. Although I could not see the man's face clearly by the red light of the lantern hanging under the eaves, and I only glanced at it hurriedly, I immediately concluded that this man was the mute of the Great Immortal Temple. However, when I had finished speaking to Mrs. Yao and looked back through the inner door, I saw a long figure flash and fly away in the middle of the street.

I didn't have time to ask about it. I accompanied Mrs. Yao across the patio and into the second gate.

"It's the first time I've walked so much since I married into the Yao family," she said with a smile of joy. Later, she added, "I'm not tired at all." After taking two steps, she said, "I should thank you." ”

I thought she was going to break up with me and go into the inner courtyard, so I replied with a smile: "You're welcome. See you tomorrow. ”

But she stood and looked at me, hesitated for a moment, and finally said to me: "Mr. Li, why don't you let the old coachman and the blind woman be happy?" Even if there is a lot of suffering and happiness in the world, everything may not go well. But you who write novels can add a little more warmth to the world, wipe away every tearful eye, and make everyone laugh; If I could write, I would not let the blind woman dive to her death, and the old coachman go mad," she said pleadingly, her voice full of sympathy and pity.

"Okay," I smiled, "Mrs. Yao, then let them live well for your sake." ”

"Thank you then, and see you tomorrow," she smiled gratefully, and turned to leave.

I just said it casually, and I didn't want to change the ending of my novel as she wanted. But when I got back to the flower hall, I felt very lonely in front of the electric light that could not speak. Spread out the paper, I couldn't write a word. Taking it away, I felt like I had a full stomach to pour out. Sitting on a wicker chair at the square table, I heard her voice. Walking around the house, I heard her voice. Sitting on the couch, I heard her voice. "Add a little more warmth to the world, dry every tearful eye, and make everyone laugh," the phrase kept ringing in my ears repeatedly. Then my heart caught it. A new vision suddenly appeared in front of me. For the first time, I saw my own incompetence and failure. Half of my life, my writings, my plans were all wasted. I add to the misery of the world, and I fill some pure eyes with tears. In this world of suffering, I didn't bring a single laugh. I shut myself up in the little world I chose, I lived selfishly, spending my young life on a blank sheet of paper, babbling all day long telling people tragic stories. I afflict the good, perish the zealous, and add misfortune to the unfortunate; I let the kind-hearted blind woman throw herself into the river, the upright old coachman went berserk, and the pure maiden cut off her own life. Why can't I reach out and wipe away the tears of others? Why can't I send out a little bit of heat to reduce the hunger and cold of this world? Her words illuminated my heart and made me see the emptiness there for the first time. It's all emptiness, my work, my life, my work.

Despair and remorse have driven me mad: I have fallen from the throne of my own world. I can't stand the electric lights, I can't stand the furnishings in the house. I ran into the garden, and I walked back and forth for a long time between the two old osmanthus trees.

I slept late that night and slept badly. I had several nightmares in quick succession. I also denied myself in my dreams.