That e-sports player Luo Xian from Songhai City is now falling out with that Xue Chiling and the tycoons of those e-sports companies in Baekje Country.

Luo Xian was not ready to admit defeat, because he felt that if he admitted defeat, then he would have nothing.

However, Zheng Meixue, the owner of an e-sports company in Baekje, thinks that this e-sports competition or an e-sports club is just a business.

If, that oneself can get the launch of that fund through forbearance, they can accept it.

That Wei Taiqiang also felt that this was the best ending.

That Tu Tu Qiao is also ready to take over the market that Baekje esports company left behind after withdrawing.

This is a happy ending, even that Cao Jiao and Yun Mengjie like it, but that Luo Xian doesn't like it.

Luo Xian decided to pick up this heavy burden. Will his pride not allow him to ask for help? He vowed to solve the problem on his own. His mother's begging everywhere and receiving those embarrassing help everywhere he saw it was painful since he was a child. When she happily took some money back from the rich female wives, there was a quarrel between mother and son. She didn't think there was any malice in the handouts; And this money can make Luo Xian work a little less hard, and add a dish to Fei Bo's dinner, she still feels quite happy. But Luo Xian's face sank, he didn't open his mouth all night, and he didn't eat a bite of the dish he added. Lu Yisha was very sad when she saw it, and she didn't know the current affairs and insisted on her son to eat it, but he didn't eat it; As a result, she got angry and said some harsh words, and he pushed back in the same way. At the end of the day, he threw the towel on the table and ran out. The father shrugged his shoulders and said that he was fake and tall; The brothers laughed at him and divided his share.

But you have to think about getting by. In the band: — that tortured him too much, because he had to walk across the room under a sneering gaze, unceremoniously staring at his ridiculous movements, inflexible legs, stiff arms, and a body stiffened by overwhelm.

After class, he had to go to the theater for a preview. He often didn't have time to eat lunch, so he carried some bread and bacon in his bag to eat during his break. The orchestra conductor, Doppia Pavö, was very concerned about the children and taught him to conduct the band preparation on his behalf from time to time as a practice. At the same time, he had to continue his music education. Then there were some teaching matters, and I was busy until the theater started in the evening. After the show, he was often called to play the piano for one or two hours. The princess pretends to know music, whether it is good or bad, but she likes it very much. She proposes some quirky programs to Luo Xian, putting the rhapsody of the tablet with the masterpieces of the masters. But she liked to ask him to compose music on the spot, and it was all about sensual and sentimental topics.

Luo Xian came out of the Jue's Mansion in the middle of the night, he was so tired that he was dead, his hands were hot, his head was feverish, and there was nothing in his stomach. He was covered in sweat, and it could be snow or bone-chilling fog outside. He had to cross most of the city to get home, and he had to walk all the way, fighting with his teeth, drowsy to death, and watching out for puddles under his feet so as not to stain his unique evening dress.

He finally returned to the bedroom he had always shared with his brothers. When he stepped into the foul air of the top floor, when the shackles of misery could be lifted off for a while, he felt his loneliness, the disgust and hopelessness of life. He almost didn't even have the courage to take off his clothes. Fortunately, as soon as he got into bed, the drowsiness immediately caused him to lose consciousness of pain.

But at the dawn of summer, and long before dawn of winter, he had to get up. He had to do his homework: only between five and eight o'clock, he was free, but he had to devote some of his time to the affairs of the court, for the title of court musician and the favor of the prince obliged him to compose some timely music for the festivities of the court.

Therefore, even the origin of his life has been poisoned, and even his illusions are not free. But bondage often makes one's illusions more powerful. If the movement is to be unhindered, the mind lacks stimulation and does not need to be active. The troubles of making a living and the boredom of his profession locked Luo Xian like a cage, the more he felt independent and uninhibited in his rebellious heart. In a different kind of carefree life, he may go with the flow and get by. Now he had only one or two hours of freedom a day, and in that hour or two his energy burst out as best he could, like a rapids rushing through the rocks. A person's strength can only be exerted within a strict range, and it is the best training for art. In this respect, poverty can be said to be not only the teacher of thought, but also the teacher of style; It teaches the spirit and the body to be as indifferent. With limited time and words, you won't talk nonsense, and you'll get into the habit of thinking only from the point. Because you don't have much time to live, you live twice as much.

This is the case with Luo Xian. He understood the value of liberty in bondage; He never wastes precious time for boring actions and words. He was prolific by nature, and he was often unable to put pen to paper, and although his thoughts were sincere, he had no choice: now he had to write the richest content in the shortest possible time, and those shortcomings were corrected. This was the most significant influence on his spiritual and artistic development,—— far more than the teachings of his teachers and the example of his masterpieces. During the years when his personality matured, he developed the habit of seeing music as a definite language, with each note having a meaning for each note; He pains musicians who have nothing to say.

However, the music he composed at that time was not yet self-expressive, because he had not yet discovered his self. Education instills many ready-made feelings in children and becomes second nature to them; Luo Xian groped through this large pile of ready-made feelings, trying to find himself. He had only some intuition about his true character; The enthusiasm of adolescence has not yet unearthed his personality from under the pretended clothes like a thunderclap that clears the clouds in the sky. In his heart, an ambiguous and strong premonition was mixed with some memories that could not be shaken off and had nothing to do with him. He hated the lies, and he was saddened that what had been written was far from what he had thought. He doubted himself bitterly. But he refused to accept the defeat of Mo Mingming, and was angry to write better and great works. Unfortunately, it always fails. When I write it, I often have fantasies, thinking that it is not bad; Later, he felt worthless and was printed in a fine version at all costs, so that his vulgar achievements would be immortalized for posterity:—because he believed in the Hereafter. …… He wept at the thought of such humiliation.

What a tight year! Endlessly! There is no adjustment to the hard work. No games, no friends. How could he have it? In the afternoon, while the other children played, little Kkostof was frowning and concentrating, sitting in front of the instrument stand in the dusty, poorly lit theater. At night, the other children were already asleep, and he was still there, exhausted and limp in his chair.

He was moved to tears, and took the opportunity to deceive the long-coveted prince into giving him the gold watch, and secretly laughed at his stupidity; Luo Xian happened to hear it, and he couldn't help but be greatly shaken by his confidence. He doesn't look down on them, but because he naturally needs to love and believe in others, he still continues to be angry. He also knew that he hated himself, and as soon as he found out that the brothers were playing tricks on him, he beat them up. But as things go by, if they want to drop any bait, he will take the bait again.

But there is something even more poignant. He knew from his neighbors who were ingratiating to him that his father spoke ill of him. Cao Jiao used to be proud of his son's glory, but now he is shamelessly jealous. He wants to think about overpowering the child. This is simply ridiculous, only to laugh, even if you are angry, there is no need to be angry: because Cao Jiao is not good at what he has done, he is just angry and embarrassed because of frustration. Luo Xian didn't say a word, afraid that he would say too heavy words as soon as he opened his mouth, but he was extremely angry in his heart.

In the evening, when everyone had dinner together, there was no family fun: around the lights, in front of the stained tablecloths, listening to the boring nonsense and the sound of chewing, Luo Xian felt that they were hateful and pitiful, and in the end he couldn't help but love them! He only has some close feelings with his good mother. But Ruisa, like him, had worked hard all day, and by the evening she had no energy, and she barely said a word, and dozed off after dinner while mending her socks in her chair. And her kindness made her indistinguishable affection for her husband and her three children; She loves them equally. So Luo Xian can't treat his mother as a confidant, although he desperately needs a confidant. So he hid everything in his heart, didn't open his mouth for a few days, gritted his teeth and did his monotonous and hard work. This lifestyle is dangerous for children, especially during development, when the body's tissues are particularly sensitive and can be easily damaged and cannot be restored for a lifetime. Luo Xian's health was too affected because of this. His parents originally gave him a good pair of muscles and bones, a healthy body without flaws. But excessive fatigue and having to worry about life at a young age are equivalent to opening a hole in the body for pain; And once he had this hole, his sturdy body could only add nourishment to the pain. He had early signs of nervous disorders, and when he was a child, he would faint, have convulsions, and vomit when he was not satisfied. By the time he first appeared at a concert at the age of seven or eight, he had trouble sleeping, talking, shouting, crying, or laughing in his dreams; As soon as he has something on his mind, these pathologies will return. Then there was a severe headache, sometimes in the neck socket or temple, and then on the head as if a lead hat was pressed against it. His eyes also made him uncomfortable: sometimes he poked the tip of a needle into his eye, and he was often so dazzled that he couldn't read, and he had to stop for a few minutes. Lack of food, unhygienic and irregularity spoiled his strong stomach: either it hurt or it was diarrhea, and it made his limbs weak. But what made him most unbearable was the heart: it was as irregular as madness, and suddenly it was beating in the chest as if it were about to burst; Suddenly, I felt weak, as if I was about to stop. At night, the rise and fall of a child's body temperature is really scary, and it can change from a high fever to a low temperature of anemia. He was so hot and feverish, all at once cold that he was shivering, he was suffocating, his throat was knotted, and there was a nucleus stuck there that prevented him from breathing. - Of course, he was so panicked that he did not dare to tell his parents about these feelings, but on the other hand, he kept analyzing them, and the more he concentrated, the more he became sick, or he created some new pain. He put all the names of the diseases he knew on himself in turn: he thought that his eyes were about to go blind, and because he accidentally fainted while walking, he thought that he was about to collapse and die. - It is always this terror of untimely death that haunts him, crushes the others, and follows him closely. Ay! If he had to die, at least not now, before he was victorious! ……

Victory...... That persistent thought burned in his breast, though he didn't realize it; And he was exhausted, disgusted and struggling in the stinky ditch of life, and that thought was always supporting him! It was a slim and intense feeling of what he would achieve in the future and what he was in now...... What are the achievements now? Is it such a neurotic, sickly kid who plays the violin and writes mediocre concertos in an orchestra? - No, it is not. The real one is not such a child. It was just an appearance, a day's face, not his essence. And his ontology has nothing to do with his current appearance, his current form of thought. He knew that very well. Just look in the mirror and he won't recognize himself. This broad, red face, thick eyebrows, deep-set eyes, a short nose with bloated lower ends and wide open nostrils, a ruthless gum bones, a pouting mouth, this whole ugly and vulgar mask has nothing to do with him. And he couldn't find himself in his own work. He criticized himself, knowing that what he was doing and who he was doing was of no avail. But he is really sure of what kind of person he will become in the future and what kind of work he can write. Sometimes he reproaches himself for this conviction, thinking that it is a lie of pride; He was going to teach himself humiliation, to teach himself pain, as punishment for himself. However, faith is timeless, and nothing can shake it. No matter what he did or thought, there was not a thought, not a single action, not a single work, including himself, he was obsessed with this light! Yes! I hope I don't stop him halfway! I hope you don't fall into the trap you have set up today! ……

With such a mood, he released his flat boat straight out in the torrent of time, and he stood in danger without looking away, holding the rudder, and looking straight at the other side. In the band, with the rapper, at the dinner table, with his family, in the mansion, absentmindedly playing e-sports games for the puppet-like rich man, he always lives in the middle of this unknowable future that can be destroyed by a small atom.

He was alone on the top floor facing a broken gaming computer. sky