that

The conversation lasted for most of the night.

Shui Hong, who had just gotten out of the car and arrived home, felt very tired, but she still wanted to tell Lao Wu what she wanted to say and what she should say as soon as possible, and she couldn't wait even overnight.

Shui Hong felt that it was the most embarrassing conversation she had ever had in her life. Since the husband and wife still abide by the agreement of both parties not to leave secrets, everything that happened in Beijing and Suzhou in these short ten days cannot be deceived or concealed in each other's brief narratives, and is presented to them at the same time. But honesty comes at a price, Shui Hong felt that after more than ten years of marriage, it was the first time that she really stood naked in front of Lao Wu and accepted the B-ultrasound scan of his gaze. She wondered that she didn't seem to be ashamed or sorry, but there was only a slight sadness and regret that lingered in her heart. However, the scanner failed in the face of her frankness, dodging her calmness again and again. From Lao Wu's tarnished eyes, she read the deeper guilt in his heart.

It was late at night, and Lao Wu's topic finally shifted from Ah Xiu to Ah Ni. He always seemed to want to avoid Ani. But when he thought of the sleeping Ah Ni at this time, her soul probably flew to the place where she should not go in a dream, and he had to leave this thorny problem to the person who had occupied that place, her mother, to deal with it herself. But what better could she do? If they don't get it right, they will not only bury Ah Ni's talent and future, but also may strangle their beloved daughter in the beautiful flowering season.

Shui Hong leaned back on the sofa, listened to Lao Wu's worried statement, and didn't speak for a long time.

Lao Wu glanced at her quietly, and for the first time in so many years, her soft face showed haggard in the light. Tears shimmered in her eyes like waves under the moon, but they finally slowly converged and calmed down.

Later, she sat up straight, looked at Lao Wu and said, "Now, I can't retreat if I want to." ”

Lao Wu coughed and stood up to add tea to her.

She added, "We all underestimated A-Ni's thoughts. I made this error. If love can be exchanged and transferred, I can give up everything for it. But in fact, I can't correct this mistake anymore. I can't make a bigger mistake to appease my conscience. Because, because Zhou You is not in love with Ah Ni, he will never wait for Ah Ni's ......"

Lao Wu's heart softened. He didn't want to stop Shui Hong and prevent her from going to Beijing. Shuihong does not go to Beijing, and there may be room for redemption. But when she was so depressed, if she reluctantly kept her, she might not even have the little trust and respect that Shui Hong had for him at the end. What's more, her heart had already flown away at that time, and he couldn't stop her at all. Life is not like a scientific experiment that can be reversed again and again. The "if" of the rainbow is impossible, which is a common problem for those who are artistic and idealistic. Lao Wu calmed down, and when things came to this point, he could neither completely blame Shui Hong, nor completely blame Zhou You. This seems to be fate and providence. He had to comfort Shui Hong, and now he couldn't bear to ruin her happiness.

He said: "If you want to say that there is a mistake, none of the four of us can escape." To borrow your 'if' - if Ah Ni didn't bring Zhou You home that day, if you didn't take the initiative to ask Zhou You for a portrait, if we stopped Ah Ni from the beginning, if Zhou You didn't attack you, if I firmly disagreed with you to go to Beijing...... If it is too much, what problems can be solved if it is pursued further? Let's think more about the present and the future, and the most important thing is to come up with a foolproof plan to let Ah Ni slowly and naturally distance himself from Zhou You, until he completely forgets about him......"

Shui Hong choked and said, "Old Wu, to tell you the truth, you are right to choose Ah Xiu, she is the wife you need." Marry her. I'll feel better with you to her. No matter how much you hate Zhou You, I still understand you, but I really can't leave Zhou You anymore, the ultimate destination of my life is love, a kind of love that can make me give up everything......"

Lao Wu hugged Shui Hong and stroked her hair for a long time. He had never seen Shui Hong fall into such a turbulent emotional whirlpool, unable to extricate himself. The hatred in his heart has been drowned out by a deeper love. Shui Hong, who has always been soft and strong, even if she can cut off the love thread decisively, she can't save Ah Ni.

Lao Wu sighed and said, "You just do what you want, Ah Ni still has fatherly love, and Ah Xiu will also take care of her......

Shui Hong kissed Lao Wu lightly on the cheek. Although it seemed that she smelled Ah Xiu's perfume from him, and knew that Ah Xiu's lipstick had been printed on his lips, she still looked at him affectionately and said:

"Thank you...... In the past ten years, I have never regretted marrying you. Maybe our fate is only so many years...... I'm sorry for you......"

Lao Wu hesitated for a while and said: "Shui Hong, there is always affection between us, even if we can't maintain the marriage relationship, can we ...... Is it possible to establish a lover relationship? I'll think about you a lot, you...... I always have to come back to visit Ah Ni......"

"Let's be good friends." Shui Hong stood up and smiled sadly. "It's too late, I'll go to sleep in A's room, you might as well rest early."

Rainbow didn't sleep on Anie's cot until the early hours of the morning. But she still couldn't sleep. She turned on the small lamp at the head of the bed, leaned over A-Ni's side, looked at her beautiful face, and gently stroked her hair. She remembered how cute her daughter was when she was nursing in her arms. Until she was weaned, a chubby little guy was made of her blood and milk. The milk is condensed with the hope and love of the mother, which is a real pouring and integration. She also remembered that one of her girlfriends also had a daughter of the same age as Ah Ni, and then her daughter drowned while swimming, and when her girlfriend saw her daughter's body, she fainted at that time and went crazy shortly after waking up. She saw it with her own eyes. The one-child policy has stretched the nerves of young Chinese mothers to the limit, and they can no longer withstand the slightest accident. What Shui Hong is most worried about at the moment is Ah Ni's psychological endurance.

Shui Hong's tears couldn't stop rolling down, wetting Ah Ni's pillow. I haven't seen her for more than ten days, and Ah Ni seems to have grown up a lot. The love in her heart is desperately rushing to grow her body. Her arms were so white and delicate, they had taken on a translucent color. In another two or three years, Ah Ni will definitely grow into a beauty that everyone loves.

Poor daughter, you must be dreaming now, wearing a pink wedding dress, walking with your big brother in the silent forest, picking wild flowers, weaving garlands, and being as happy as the princess and her prince in fairy tales. Mom can't bear to break your dream, which could have been realized in a few years, but now it is no longer possible...... You brought your big brother home, and he liked you so much, but your mother took him away from you. This mom of yours is even more vicious than Snow White's stepmother. That stepmother was just jealous of her beauty and was bent on destroying her beauty; And I have to extinguish your love. Your beauty is what I give you, but your love grows in your own heart. Even if I have the right to take back the beauty I have given you, I have no right to deprive you of your love. Your mother is the most ruthless and selfish woman in the world. If one day you finally know the truth, if you still can't understand, can't bear and can't forgive your mother, no matter what you do to your mother, your mother won't blame you.

Ah Ni, my dear daughter, grow up quickly, then you may understand that there is a relationship in the world that is beyond the relationship between mother and daughter, which cannot be replaced or transformed. Love is perhaps the most fatal weakness of human beings, it is irrational, self-controlled, and calculating; It rejects all others, rejects any compromise, it must possess it completely, and it must burn together until it is reduced to ashes. Maybe I'll lose you forever when I get love; But giving up on someone I love is like losing my whole life. My daughter, it's a pity that your love came too early, why did it sprout in the cold wind of early spring? Before it could germinate, it faced premature death; If love can be grafted, I would like to be a mother and grow new branches and fruits on my torso; However, every life in nature has its dignity to live, and mothers and daughters are equally equal as human beings, and the gratuitous sacrifice of motherly love, which has lasted for thousands of years, has become an ancient concept, sacrifice means death, and death can only bring nothingness but not happiness. Forgive me, A-Ni, Mom can't sacrifice for you...... Mom can only pray for you and bless you, with our love to help you heal the wounds of your soul and make you an independent and resilient girl again......

Shui Hong looked at the painting on the wall, crying silently, crying silently. The days ahead are far away, and she doesn't know what kind of ending awaits her. In this long love marathon, there is no one-size-fits-all report card, time and years will continue to provide a venue for competition, who can run to the end between her and Ani? She only hoped that in all possible dooms, her beloved Ah Ni would not be a person who was defeated by pain......

"Mom, why are you sleeping here?" Ah Ni asked as she rubbed her eyes in a daze. "When did you come back?"

"I came back last night. You probably already know that I'm going to be separated from your father...... So, I'm going to sleep here for the time being......"

"Mom, you're crying, your eyes are swollen, it's not good-looking. If you don't want to divorce your father, I'll tell my grandparents......" Ah Ni suddenly came to her senses.

"No, I just can't bear you, I'm leaving here......"

"Mom, Dad is a bad father, people in the alley say that Dad has long liked Ah Xiu, and Ah Xiu is younger than you. I'm not going to be okay with my father, Mom, you can take me away, let's go to grandpa's house, there are many houses there, grandparents like you and me the most, don't let Dad move over......"

"Silly boy, I divorced your father, how can I still live in the Wu family? Don't blame your father, your father is the best father in the world, and it was your mother who first proposed to divorce him. Your dad and I are still good friends, but our interests and personalities are different. Your dad likes you very much, you will love your dad even more in the future, you must listen to him. ”

"Mom, my big brother and I have exactly the same hobbies, we will be together in the future, and we will not be separated." Ah Ni's topic really turned to Zhou You all of a sudden.

Shui Hongqiang replied to her daughter with high spirits: "That's not necessarily, people's personalities and hobbies will also change, you are still young, you shouldn't think about love now." You have to think more about learning and drawing. You see, the eldest brother is thirty years old and not married yet, so he draws so well. For those who engage in art, early love and early marriage will consume the feeling and aura of art. If a person does not have a sense of independence and is emotionally dependent on each other, he will get divorced even if he is married. Now divorce is very simple, love and marriage are not ropes, and they cannot be tied. ”

After all, Ah Ni was still a child, and she had never thought about this problem, and she didn't know what to do all of a sudden. She said dejectedly, "Mom, what ...... If I wait a few more years, what will I do if my big brother and other girls are okay? ”

"Ah Ni, you should regard your big brother as your most respected teacher. You are happier than you have such a painter teacher who cares about you than you have anything else. A person's feelings and love for a teacher are two different things. The age gap between you is too big, and if you keep forcing your big brother to wait for you, he will be unhappy. In case he doesn't like you anymore, you may not even get a teacher. You still study hard and become a good painter in the future, and you will meet young people who are better than your big brother. A woman in modern society will not pray for a man to love herself, she should have the ability and charm to make a man love her sincerely, and the real love must be equal to each other......"

"Mom, you make me think about it again......"

Ah Ni's mind was in turmoil, and the dreams of many days suddenly drifted far away. But Shui Hong saw a thoughtful look in Ah Ni's eyes, and tried to think about things with her brain.

On this cold morning in late autumn, Shui Hong hardened her heart and decided to immediately implement the first plan to cool Ah Ni that she had discussed with Lao Wu.

"Ah Ni, your eldest brother said that you have to look far away to appreciate oil paintings, your room is too small, and the overall effect of looking at the paintings is not very good, isn't it?"

"Yes, Mom, you're so attentive. I found out a long time ago. I often stand at the door to look at the paintings, but my eyes are too slanted and I don't know what to do. ”

"Then move the painting to the little living room. Right next to your room, you can see it when you walk in and out, it's actually the same, and it's just the right distance. ”

Ah Ni jumped up from the bed, ran to the small living room in her pajamas, tilted her little head, looked back and forth for a long time, and finally reluctantly agreed to her mother's suggestion. After breakfast, she asked her father to help move the paintings on the wall of her room to the living room outside. While moving, he muttered reluctantly: "Dad, I really don't want to let my big brother leave my small house." Every night I fall asleep looking at these paintings, and I always draw in my dreams, and sometimes I run into them and play with my big brother. When I wake up in the morning, I can see the painting as soon as I open my eyes, and I have to talk to the painting every day, and the painting is the big brother, and I have many, many things to say to him. Oh, Mom, can I ...... Leave one of my favorite paintings in my room, just keep a ......"

"Okay, mom agrees, don't you like that white crane the most?"

A new look in the living room. Six paintings crowded the already dazzling walls of the living room. Shui Hong replaced the original landscape calendar, maps and a few small mirror frames in the living room in Ah Ni's cabin. Ah Ni sat on the small sofa, looked at her completely changed room, and said sadly: "You see, the artistic mood in the room is gone. I'm so lonely, I don't live here anymore, I'm going to move to the small living room to sleep......"

Shui Hong gently persuaded Ah Ni and said, "Good boy, you will get used to it slowly." Cultural classes are very important, you look at the big brother, he has a lot of knowledge, literature, history, philosophy, music books, he is interested. You have to broaden your horizons in order to have room for artistic imagination. ”

At the mention of her big brother, Ah Ni lowered her head and stopped arguing with her mother.

In the afternoon, a delivery truck stopped at the gate of the small courtyard, and Lao Wu and two porters carried in large bags of pioneer audio assembly parts and placed them in Ah Ni's room. Lao Wu quickly installed them and connected the wiring. Ah Ni had already moved out a large pile of cassette tapes that she had bought at some point, and she turned on her voice excitedly, hiding in the hut alone to listen.

After dinner, Shui Hong and Lao Wu listened to the Hong Kong and Taiwan songs from upstairs, the gentle tenderness, low chanting and singing, stimulated their nerves, and they suddenly had a sense of crime in each other.

"I heard it, it's love again, it's this kind of hypocrisy everywhere......" Old Wu sighed. You want her to get rid of her big brother's painting, and she's getting into love songs again. She asked me just now where to sell the song "The Wolf of the North", and I was really worried that we would be self-defeating......"

Shui Hong shook her head and said: "Not necessarily, music can entrust some feelings, increase her artistic talent, and help her survive the crisis." She has her own taste for appreciation, and she doesn't follow the crowd. ”

"By the way, when you were fourteen years old, you had a personality like her?"

"She's a lot better than me." Shui Hong replied with a smile. "I was very introverted at the time, thinking more and doing less, so in my thirties, I always wanted to compensate for it. This generation of only children, the little emperor and the little princess are annoying, they are free by nature, and some of them will be very creative when they grow up. I even think it's a pity to let Ah Ni learn to paint, with her talent, maybe she can do a bigger career. ”

"Thank God, today we finally dismantled the painting furnace that Zhou You built for her." Old Wu breathed a sigh of relief. "Where is this painting stove, it is almost a love stove. In the future, I will get more art blockbuster videos for her to see, and I will also take her to Huangshan, Lushan, and Emei Mountain to play, and I will let her mind turn to other things, so that she will not have time and energy to paint, so that she will not be admitted to the middle school attached to the Central Academy of Fine Arts, and she will not be able to go to Beijing. After you go back, you must ask Zhou Youshao to write to her, and don't send her any more paintings. Let her cool down slowly, she is still young after all, and after a long time, she will forget. ”

Shui Hong nodded and said thoughtfully: "Old Wu, there is one more thing I want to discuss with you." It turned out that Zhou You and I planned to get married after completing the divorce procedures, and now I want to ...... I want to put some time to go back to that final marriage formalities...... Otherwise, if any link is leaked, Ah Ni will definitely not be able to stand it if he knows it. What do you ask her to do in the face of her beloved mom and big brother? That kind of blow can't be recovered for the rest of your life...... Lao Wu, you know how much I love Ah Ni, if it weren't for Zhou You's special situation, I would definitely go to court with you to fight for Ah Ni. But I left her to you, you have lost me, you can't lose your daughter again, but if you don't want to lose Ah Ni again, you must not tell her about my relationship with Zhou You. Let's just say I'm gone, to a foreign country or a foreign country. She wouldn't have doubted it. When she's a little older, when she's really a woman, and then tell her the truth, I think she'll probably understand her mother. ”

Lao Wu said in surprise: "Then you might as well get married early, cook raw rice and mature rice, maybe after Ah Ni knows, he will die." ”

"No, I can't bear it. I really can't bear it. Do you want to send Ani to an insane asylum? Shui Hong cried out in a lost voice. I can't give up love for her, I can't sacrifice my feelings for her, but I can postpone the form of marriage, I don't care about this form, I didn't love for the sake of getting married. If love is frustrated because of this, it means that it should not have entered into marriage. Old Wu, you promise me that this is the only thing I can do for Ah Ni with my best efforts......"

Lao Wu patted Shui Hong's shoulder with emotion, and his eyes were a little moist. He promised Shui Hong that he would take good care of Ah Ni, and he would never let Ah Ni disturb Shui Hong and Zhou You's lives. From now on, he and Shui Hong will start the journey of the second half of their lives in the south and the north, without regrets and complaints, and pray for each other from afar.

The two of them chatted about some family trivia again. Lao Wu asked with concern about Beijing's climate and diet, as well as Zhouyou's housing conditions. He is worried that Shui Hong's privileged life in Suzhou for so many years may be difficult to adapt to the north for a while. He is also worried that the artist's living habits are disorganized, and the canvas is dirty everywhere, and Shui Hong will be wronged by this. He nagged and told Shui Hong to live the troubles of life, and asked Shui Hong to know how to take care of himself. For a while, he became like an old father with a mother-in-law, preparing for his beloved daughter to get married.

Shui Hong's heart soured. Under the soft lighting, the familiar furniture and furnishings in the room still exude a warm atmosphere. Couples who have been married for more than ten years, when it comes to breaking up, can still sit together calmly like this, without resentment and hostility, and still have care and concern. If it weren't for Zhou You's love being too fierce and strong, she thought that she would never have the strength to get out of this small courtyard.

Shui Hong smiled hard, she didn't want to make the atmosphere in the room too sad.

She said: "Old Wu, don't worry, Zhou You is actually an easy-going person, and he is very willing to let me take care of him." Sometimes I really feel like he's a big kid. ”

"Alas, then I don't understand, don't you women like mature and capable men, why do you like big children again?"

"I'm referring to his psyche. The innocent, childlike kind, always full of curiosity about the world. There is no sophistication and scheming, always natural and natural. With him, you will feel that you have become relaxed, like the flow of water, flowing and flowing, and it chiseled through the mountains and rocks......"

Lao Wu nodded speciously, avoiding the topic and instead talked about the division of family property. He wanted to convert the part of the property that should have belonged to Shui Hong into cash for Shui Hong to take away. Buy a three-bedroom apartment in Beijing and you can live more comfortably.

Shui Hong interrupted him and said, "No, don't sell those jade antiques. This is the heirloom of your Wu family. For these treasures, the Wu family has been frightened for decades, has experienced so many sports, and there are '**', it is not easy to preserve them until now. You might as well pack them up and send them back to your parents for collection. It's a little safer there. I'm leaving, most of the relatives and friends of the Axiu family are people in the circle of small citizens, if they know about these treasures, this family will not be safe. You really should send them back to the Wu family. Make sure you get it done before you get married. It was enough for me to bring a year or two of living expenses from my savings. I will support myself, and Zhou You can make a living by selling paintings. I miss my parents-in-law very much, they have always been very kind to me, but unfortunately I don't have the courage to say goodbye to them in person. ”

Lao Wu insisted: "Now my brother still has to settle accounts." All that is yours is yours, and you must not refuse, or my heart will not be at peace. I'll keep it for you, and when I'm settled, I'll give you your share. In the divorce agreement, property and child support must be clearly written. I'll hire a lawyer to help us get the notarization done, and if you have any other requirements, just let me know......"

"Thank you, Old Wu." Shui Hong said sincerely. "I really hope that Ah Xiu can give you a son in the future, and my grandparents also have a wish. If I really want to ask you for something, I just hope that one day, maybe you'll give Ah Ni back to me......"

The music upstairs continued to be low. Roses, moons, breezes, red dust...... "You and I have been repeating the same story for thousands of years...... while Shui Hong is holding a new ticket in his hand.

They walked gently up the stairs and through the small living room. The door of Ah Ni's room was open, and she was seen holding a picture album of Zhou You, leaning on the speaker and falling asleep, with a smile on the corner of her mouth.