I plan to change his name and let him use the identity of "Luxi" to tell some of the happiness and sadness he has experienced in the difficult years from his own point of view, and I believe that the dream will come one day as scheduled. I believe that my lover is the best lover in the world, I believe that my friends are the best friends in the world, and I believe that my parents are the best parents in the world. And my colleagues, loved ones, brothers and sisters. and the self after being poisoned by the cruel reality, and the bits and pieces of life......

Why did my writing suddenly shift from a third-person perspective to first-person in the first place? Now, I have the most earthy answer, after some hardships, I just want to find a humorous and ideal way out of my current life.

"Don't Bury Yourself in the Dust of Time" is a compilation of some of my recent articles, and after thinking about it for a long time, I decided to rewrite it so that it can meet more readers and friends. Whether it can be published or not is actually the same as street photography, and like many people who have lost their youth, as long as it can survive in a version of the epitome of youth. Ten years later, I just hope it can meet me again after a long absence.

The first time I went out was when I was 19 years old, and it was a nearly 20-hour drive from Tianshui to Tianjin. The creation of this book originated from the hardships of being alone on the road and the long nights. Sudden discovery is also a way of remembering the epitome of youth. There is a kind of love called "I don't know it when I have it, and I don't know it when I lose it." The most familiar things are the most unfamiliar. The farthest distance in the world is far from the ugliness of the human heart, but the disgusting of the person closest to you. Take a dark road, so there is a blind spot of love!

Like everyone else, I have also studied abroad, with the aim of being a person who can see the world outside of Tianjin.

At the station, parents turn away from the loneliness they have left you; The whole world is sleeping, and you are the only one who wakes up alone; The heart sank to the bottom of the sea, still yearning for the loneliness of the distance on the folding chair in the sleeper aisle; Looking out the window at the sparks, counting the loneliness of the crowd that occasionally passes by. As Liu Tong said, 'Your loneliness, although defeated, is still glorious'

If the heart has no place to live, it is wandering everywhere! There is a grave in the heart, where the surviving are buried. If you are used to pain, tears will not be very bitter. Life is like a road, how much courage does it take to get out of the prosperity in a desolation?

Those times that we don't care about are the most beautiful times in our lives! Apathy drains all of one's passion, even though it used to be so true and persistent. The wandering prodigal son, who was once proud, rebellious and debauched, and no one brought me a little comfort in that strange and panicked lonely city, I really hope that someone will quietly come into my life and bring me unexpected comfort, then I must be grateful.

Someone once said that stall literature is the best work in the world. For example, the prodigal son in a distant country misses his homeland.

I see the deer when I am deep in the forest, and I see you when I wake up in my dream. May you stand in the brightest place and live as you have ever longed for. 

Whenever it's summer, the whole person's spirit is not good. Tossing and turning in the darkness every day, I seemed to see the dust falling from the ceiling, falling on my shoulders, scattered on the floor, blown into the endless darkness by bleak sorrow.

At the beginning of July 2017, when the summer of 2017 was coming to an end, I changed jobs again. This is my second job in my short journey to Jincheng. Some of my college classmates, colleagues and friends before leaving, I returned from a distant place with my own story, deeply rooted in the western city and hidden time with it.

If these words can make your heart feel some warmth, this is enough, those stories of joy and sorrow, those heartaches. I don't know if you're going through the same thing.

"My dream is to fulfill all your wishes. If affection can't get your wish, I hope that the last happy person is you. ”

"Life is about destroying good things and then making you grow."

Love is like this, friendship is like this, and family affection is like this. We will never know what life is when we don't experience crying in the middle of the night, walking in the rain, getting drunk alone at night, and ticking seconds later, when our parents grow old in the days and nights that we can't see.

Some people leave forever. What you have experienced, you will experience. The people you have met, you have never met again. So don't regret those who missed, and don't force anything, all those who come and go have a destined destination. As long as you are strong, it doesn't matter if it is death or eternal life in the future. You have to believe that there is no tomorrow that cannot be reached. There will always be a road ahead, and there will always be a light at night.

So far, it seems that at least there are some very good friends of mine behind my article, and although we have never met, the good thing is that you can still see these stories, which have all happened in a certain time and space, and are playing out every day in a real but slightly absurd way.

"Sex is an uncontrollable desire, and love is an unattainable ideal. The past cannot be chased, and it is a layer of ash. "Although it sounds like chicken soup for the soul, every word comes from the heart. Wounded gloriously, then bravely healed.

I don't deny that I was born poor and survived to this day. I don't like this trivial ordinariness. But I've lived like this for twenty-three years, you know? So ordinary, so poor. Some people say that I look a little depressed, depressed, and numb, because I have been in this world for too long, and I have become smoky and unrecognizable.

When I close my eyes, I always feel that my life is full of absurdity, and I feel like a bitter cushion who has been deeply rooted in the barren soil and looking up to the material paradise to sell words.

I really started writing in my dormitory at a university in Tianjin, rewriting it in 2016 in a small bungalow at the Beijing Posts and Telecommunications Conference Center, and finalizing it in my rental house in 2017. In 2019, the final version was re-checked four times, and it has not been published so far. Whether or not you can publish it is actually the same as taking a street photo.

I've changed it several times, so I'm sure you're satisfied! I've been thinking about the topic for a long time, but when I actually started writing, all my anger came from wanting to take control of my life. What kind of tempering does it have to go through to sever ties with it, this sentence is so easy to say, it seems that such a situation can't be cut off from it. I never wanted to be interested in anyone, so much so that now I tear my skin and want to know about desires that I never had before.

I originally wanted to make my life colorful, at least like a movie, and at least like a TV series, but I didn't expect it to appear in the form of an "absurd novel".

I once faced the problem of a person who thought I was not handsome enough and not rich enough, and then I tried hard to make money, but that person never appeared again; When I first joined the company, my colleague thought I didn't know the rules, so I tried to learn the rules, but he invisibly became my subordinate, but I didn't use the same way to make things difficult for my new colleagues; My parents thought I wasn't good enough, so I tried to make myself good, and then I became mediocre when I was good, and they chose to go with the flow.

Really, I don't want to explain anymore, I just want to hide in a corner and smirk and light a cigarette to comfort myself; My parents have always wanted me to find a solid person, get married in a down-to-earth manner, and then live a lifetime in one place without moving a nest.

Ten fingers sink between the fingers, and the muscles in my face must be terribly twisted. In the face of the boring blind date meal and the slightly complaining eyes of the woman's parents, I knew that the noisy market people were coming, and I felt uncomfortable and thought about how to clean up this embarrassing situation.

Although this is a kind of violent thing, I feel that this kind of life is like a cotton needle deep into my capillaries, a stinger deep in the heart of others, exposed to the polluted air until death comes, if liberation is the best destination, I am willing to hide in a cold coffin and die alone.

A lot of people say I'm wasting my life, wasting my time, and that writing about these things has no value, let alone readability, and I don't think about it easily. Well, no matter what, let me wreak havoc on this land filled with gunpowder and settle the rest of my life properly, and let all efforts leave a permanent footprint in the desert of words. In this age of increasingly emotional red envelopes, what makes me sell words so that they can interpret themselves in my head?

People should have a strict positioning, appropriately adjust their social circle, and let more suitable people open a high-end service operation mode for you. I've been a clique for a long time. But since I graduated, I started to work in real estate sales, and it has been going downhill.

There are no social resources, and there is no light around. People are still the ones who grin when they are sarcastic, and they are a very bad person in the eyes of others.

Some people say I'm not social, some say I'm realistic. Reality? Generally at my age, if it weren't realistic, I wouldn't have survived a long time ago, and I survived to this day.

"If you don't have money, you can't enter the public, don't persuade people lightly, stay until the day of success, and talk about the original intention of drinking."

I came from a real estate channel, and I know that real estate salesmen often have insomnia symptoms at night when they have no performance within a month, and they often wake up from their sleep. I always dreamed that I was fired by the boss of the company.

Looking at my posture today, I knew that I was even more crazy, and I wanted to vent my anger, and when my hair danced wildly in the cold wind, I secretly promised in my heart. But I was still moving fast in the wind. How I longed for the wind to be more empathetic, not to brush my face and show me the vulnerable side of myself.

You have to believe that there is no tomorrow that cannot be reached. Sooner or later, you will stand in the brightest place and live as you have ever longed for.

"The cold wind does not understand the customer's intentions, and the style is difficult to understand the channel heart." The winter wind is not so cold, but it is biting.

I have never seen the wind in Jincheng gentle, even the wind in spring and summer is as rough as ever, let alone the wind in winter.

Occasionally, sometimes I have a lot of confusion in my heart and don't know where to start. This emotion is terrible, like an unprecedented loneliness, overwhelming; I was expecting a heavy snowfall, hoping that someone would gently drape my coat behind me, and then squeeze my hand and give me encouragement, so that my anxious face could settle down for a moment.

Someone asked me, what do you get by doing this? To be honest, I didn't get anything, I really didn't get anything except to make some friends on the Internet who also love to read.

Writing doesn't seem to work. But I don't feel disadvantaged by this, and literary and artistic youth are always obsessed with comforting their inner turmoil. I work steadily and mundanely every day, but writing becomes the most enjoyable part of my day. I changed my computer, and even changed a few people I liked during this period, and the only thing that didn't change was the familiar word page, as well as the all-night insomnia and the thoughts about her in my mind.

I don't want to deal with Qinghuan all the time, I want to be a real owner, not blindly indulge in fantasy. If I had five percent real presence in my face, I think the pain in my heart would be much lighter.

I always have to write for the needs of my heart at all times.