Later, when I looked back on my life, I found that there were only three extremely important people who appeared, and they were the ones who contributed to me step by step.

Lin Ying is naturally the first place. When I was taken in by Mr. Jin, it should have been destined for me and Lin Ying to be entangled for many years in the future.

It's just that these long years have passed day by day, but I am extremely cowardly in my heart, and I have not pierced these words with him in the end, making him an indelible cinnabar mole on my chest.

The second is how to see. I haven't figured out how I got my life step by step.

He was so simple and naïve, and he still had full of goodwill in such a troubled world. I don't know if it's providence, but then I just thought about me, a ruffian-like character.

I regret Lin Ying, but I regret what I see.

People in this world are born with their own ways of survival, and everyone is slowly growing into the kind of person they can eventually become along the trajectory of their own lives.

He Jian's life could have been spent carefree, but he didn't want to go halfway just because he glanced at me, and then suddenly turned to the abyss.

And this third person is the one I met again later, and he left a lot of ink in my life, his name is Zhai Fengyao.

It all started with the day I jumped off the cliff with what I saw.

As I left the ground on the edge of the cliff from the bottom of my feet, my body fell rapidly in mid-air, and I didn't really think that I would still be alive. Or rather, I didn't think that I would be living alone.

I remember seeing him lying dying in my arms, blood gushing out of his shoulder. The rain was heavy, and the pain on my face became clearer and clearer, and the blood mixed with He Jian continued to hit my face, staining my vision red.

From that moment, I suddenly felt that it had been a full year since I agreed to be with He Jian, but I didn't know more about him in just half a month.

I used to know that he was stupid, that he liked to laugh, and that he believed me very much and never argued with me.

But in just one month, I have seen countless different faces. He was stubborn for me in the court, but he still looked like he was smiling. He listened to himself tell the truth in prison, with tears in his eyes, but he still had hope in his heart, and his love was undiminished, and he broke into the death row of Shuntianfu, his eyes were resolute and powerful, and he pulled himself and said You go with me.

He regarded me as his own, and when he saw that I was a little close to Lin Ying, he was jealous.

I quarreled with him for a while over this matter, but since then, he has never mentioned my thoughts about Lin Ying.

He is fragile and sensitive, innocent on the outside, and optimistic to the point of envy, but he is so easily hurt and has great fear in his heart.

He never touches what he doesn't want, and he takes what he wants, but he is extremely afraid of losing.

I especially remember the scene when he was about to reach the bottom, he raised his head and kissed me with all his strength, his face slightly wrinkled, and his lips were so white that there was not a trace of blood.

He asked me: "Chi Hire, you said that you don't love me, are you lying to me?" ”

I remember looking at his eyes, which were no longer fully open, and it was only at that moment that I realized that he had not believed me.

Maybe it's because I've already been tempted, so I can't fool him, that is, because there is a trace of uncertainty in my eyes, so he is willing to gamble everything.

I lowered my chin and nodded violently, only to feel a storm in the back of my head, violently swept through my mind, and there was a slight itch in the corners of my eyes, and I only felt tears flooding like an embankment.

When I came to my senses again, He Jian was no longer in my arms. My eyes were faintly astringent, and I subconsciously sat up suddenly, shouting: "What to see, how to see!" ”

But I only felt that my eyes were astringent, and I didn't have the slightest strength to support my body, so I could only fall to the ground softly, knocking a faint bruise on my forehead.

There was no silence around, and there was a chaotic noise in my ears, which could be discerned as the crisp sound of porcelain bowls colliding, and the muffled voice of a man.

I turned it over and looked around, and I could see some clues, probably in a camp where the army was stationed, but I didn't care what was going on, I only thought about where he had gone.

"What to see, how to see!"

I continued to shout loudly, but my throat was so hoarse that I couldn't make a sound, so I had to rub my limbs on the ground and push forward. But when I didn't want to gently lift the curtain of the tent, a man who looked a foot taller than me was standing outside, and when he saw me looking up, he hurriedly bowed down to look at me, and even raised his hand to touch the bruise on my forehead that should have been obvious at the moment.

"Why don't you rest well, you can cause trouble for yourself like this?"

This man is Zhai Fengyao.

I hurriedly pulled the lower corner of the hem of his clothes, and in a moment of urgency, some of them could not speak, but repeated one after another: "Where do you see, where is what you see, where is it?" ”

Although his eyes were dry, he still shed a few tears when he thought of what had happened before.

But he didn't speak, just looked at me stunned, just like what he saw at the beginning, but the perseverance and years in his eyes were something he didn't have.

Later in the day, I asked him when exactly he had put me in his heart. He told me that it was because of my clumsy and hurried look at this time when I first met him that he gently and gently knocked open a heart that he had been fighting on the battlefield for a long time and had no fixed place.

I thought about it a lot and guessed a lot later. My heartfelt resistance to him may have been due to the fact that he had brought me back to life, and that it was he who had told me the news of his death.

I slept in this cramped tent for about half a moon, trying to digest the news that He Jian had left me.

For half a month, I didn't eat or drink, I lay on the bed and looked at the white roof of the camp, from early morning to late at night, and from late at night to early in the morning. When he is emotional, he will look for a deadly weapon all over the house, trying in vain to die, and how to see the outlaw mandarin duck.

But Zhai Fengyao, he has to stop me.

He removed everything from the house, leaving me with only a bedding, and even when I was unconscious from hunger, he suddenly seized the opportunity to have my limbs restrained, and then forcibly fed food into my mouth to save my life.

I often wake up hungry in the middle of the night, and I will see a familiar figure outside stretched long on the tent by the moonlight, and from time to time he will turn around and look at me, for fear that he will come up with some new idea and kill me in one fell swoop.

At that time, I didn't know it, but it was just a meeting in the water. He saved my life and was already a bodhisattva's heart, so why bother to spend so much time on me, so that I could not be happy and lived so tormented.

Later, I was really tired, as if I suddenly felt that it was more difficult to die than to live, and one day half a month later, I asked Zhai Fengyao to take me to see He Jian.

In the past half a month, I have been troubled, and I only think about how to end my life, but I haven't paid attention to it. Until the moment he walked out of the camp, he saw that the outside was completely full of Hu cavalry horses, and the men all had knotted hair and combed braids, and their bodies were so burly that they were worthy of two of themselves. I suddenly realized that I had actually arrived at the realm of Fanzi.

Zhai Fengyao buried He Jian's body on a grass peak not far away, and after a night of heavy rain, the emerald green grass sprouts began to appear, and soon covered the traces. If it weren't for a wooden plaque he had deliberately erected, he would hardly have been able to find a place to bury him.

I walked up, sat cross-legged in front of the wooden sign, and looked at the emptiness on it, without a word, and turned around to look at Zhai Fengyao.

"People who practice martial arts, don't know how to read, see and laugh!"

There was a faint embarrassment on his face, and I didn't have the heart to continue asking, so I only slowly hugged the wooden sign in my arms.

I cried and cried, touching the cold dirt on the ground as if I had really touched his cold body.

Before I woke up, he saw that he was still talking to me, and he asked me if I had lied to him. I have had countless dreams in the past few days, and in them, I nodded vigorously, lest my movements would not be obvious enough, so that his eyes, which could not see clearly, could not see clearly.

But when I woke up again, it was already a piece of loess.

I sat there, silent, and pressed my face to the plank, which had been so clean by the rain, until the moon was on the branches.

I asked Zhai Fengyao, if a person dies, can he still see what is happening in this person's world?

He thought that I still wanted to find a short-term view, so he only smiled: "Your current life is mine, and you can't give it up easily!" ”

I looked at him, and suddenly I wanted to laugh, he looked like he didn't care about anything, but seemed to be able to see everything very openly.

I always sigh at the impermanence of life, just because I have experienced this impermanence too much. Many things are not clear at the moment, but after many years of recalling, it will suddenly dawn on me that it is from a very subtle place that fate began to turn into another path.

Just like when Lin Ying dragged me to visit He Jian's mansion, the moment he first saw me, and then the moment I personally agreed to be with He Jian for the sake of money, all laid the foundation for his comfortable and ordinary life to come to an end.

is also like the moment when I was rescued by Zhai Fengyao, and the moment when I stole his talisman, it also laid the foundation for everything that was entangled with him and I was heartbroken.