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Quick words, funny and wise, this is how Dongfang Shuo persuaded Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty, telling some jokes and making people laugh.

Actually, he is secretly using the people in the jokes to mock you, but he is not sarcastic, Dongfang Shuo is smart.

Under normal circumstances, after listening to Dongfang Shuo's jokes, Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty will be furious almost every time, and it is common to drive Dongfang Shuo out of the court.

At present, the highest record is five, which has not been broken, and Mr. Dongfang Shuo is still the holder of his own record, which is gratifying.

Moreover, if you meet Dongfang Shuo's mouth one day, you are still too owed, but the mood of catching up with Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty is too bad, so ....... After telling the joke, Dongfang Shuo will directly take off his official robe...... That is, he was dismissed by Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty and went home to farm honestly.

If Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty is a little angry, he has to say nothing, pull out and spank, and beat this broken mouth with a skin and flesh!

However, pay attention...... But once Emperor Wu of Han lost his breath, calmed down, and began to ponder the jokes told by Dongfang Shuo......

Then the little bit of qi he had left will also disappear completely, and he will even feel ashamed, and then quickly reinstate Dongfang Shuoguan who was staying at home, or just pull in the broken mouth who was being beaten at the door.

Just like today.

Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty calmed down in less than a minute after driving Dongfang Shuo out of the court, of course, in this minute, Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty had almost gritted his teeth, he was a dignified emperor, you said that he was a long-tongued woman on the street, who was not angry.

However, after getting angry, Liu Che felt that his cheeks were hot, and he was ashamed in his heart, and he looked at the ministers with a little more dodge.

Liu Che felt that Dongfang Shuo was right, although the words were very disgusting, but where was Li'er placed, think about it, he was the son of heaven, the emperor of the Han Dynasty, and he actually made the same actions as the woman on the street, vulgar, without the majesty of the emperor, according to the old saying, it is embarrassing to be thrown to grandma's house.

Alas, it shouldn't be, it shouldn't be ......, "Okay, don't talk nonsense, let Dongfang Shuo hurry up and get me back." ”

Take a look, this is a smart man, he scolds you in front of you, and you still think that people are right, and you have to give him a promotion.

.......

Dongfang Shuo walked back to the court with a smile, saluted Liu Che, and then sat back on his cushion, without saying a word, he had already finished saying what he had to say, Liu Che also reacted, and then waited for him to ask himself.

Sure enough, Liu Che spoke.

He stared at Dongfang Shuo, who was sitting calmly under the court, with a breezy face, cleared his throat unnaturally, and said, "Dongfang Shuo, come out, I have something to ask you." ”

"No." Dongfang Shuo honestly stood in the middle of the aisle.

"Say what you want to say, I listen, but there is one thing, if you dare to bother me with some trivial things, I will not be the first to spare you." Liu Che pointed at Dongfang Shuo and said angrily.

Dongfang Shuo put on a smiling face, "Your Majesty, the minister wants to say that although you have now disposed of Zhao Xin's family, Su Jian, you have not disposed of it, and where does the general also need your good life to appease, after all, in this battle of Monan, the general also beheaded more than 19,000 Huns, should be rewarded for meritorious deeds, do not involve the general because of the defeat in the first battle, otherwise ......"

Dongfang Shuo didn't continue, and Liu Che didn't intend to let him continue, so he immediately waved his hand and said, "I know, you go down first." ”

"No." Dongfang Shuo sat back on his cushion and smiled at Dong Zhongshu beside him, Dong Zhongshu also nodded with a smile, the old prime minister looked at Dongfang Shuo's eyes full of sighs, thinking that this guy is really a strange person, dare to say anything, dare to do anything, but it is thanks to him, otherwise His Majesty would not have to do anything today, and he would have scolded the street.

Liu Che sat straight on his dragon chair, his black pupils kept turning in his eye sockets, and his right hand was constantly playing with the jade wrench, and after contemplation, Liu Che spoke.

"Passing on the will of the ministers, Su Jian's army was defeated, and the crime is unforgivable, but remembering his loyalty and bravery, he was demoted to a concubine."

If Comrade Su Jian knew the news, I am afraid that he would be grateful to Zhao Xin, who surrendered, and he would also be grateful to himself for not having a hot head and following the rebellion at that time.

If it weren't for Zhao Xin's surrender in front of Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty, if it weren't for Su Jian's hard fight on the battlefield, and in the end, only one person was left and desperately fled back to the Han Dynasty, Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty would never spare this defeated general.

The so-called everything he is afraid of contrast, two generals, one is a former general, the other is a rear general, one in danger, he led the crowd to surrender without hesitation, and the other desperately broke out of the encirclement, leaving him alone, and he tried his best to escape back.

Compared with Zhao Xin, Su Jian is a loyal minister, a great loyal minister, but ...... The loyal ministers have lost the battle, and they don't want to run.

With the mentality of rewarding meritorious service and punishing him, Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty thought that Su Jian was a loyal minister, and for the sake of Zhao Xin's surrender, he simply turned him into a common man.

Otherwise, he would definitely have to be killed by a few clans, and the lightest would have to be beheaded all over the house, Comrade Su Jian really picked up a big bargain.

After dealing with the matter of the defeated army, Emperor Wu of Han sat on the dragon chair and continued with the ministers in the palace.

"General Wei Qing, this expedition to Monan, beheaded more than 19,000 people, it is really a great achievement, although Zhao Xin and Su Jian were defeated, but this can not erase the general's merits, pass on the decree, reward Wei Qing with a thousand taels of gold."

Liu Che finished speaking, well, finished speaking.

The reward he gave to Wei Qing was only 1,000 taels of gold, which was different from the previous one, which was promoted at every turn, and the gifts he gave were all about chariots, which was simply a difference between mud and clouds.

To put it mildly, Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty didn't even want to give this thousand taels of gold, damn it, I gave you so many soldiers and horses, and you actually just had a draw with the Huns, what face do you Wei Qing have to reward.

Get promoted and get rich? Ahh

Seeing that Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty was perfunctory to Wei Qing like this, and he didn't even have the intention of appeasing him, Dongfang Shuo couldn't look at it, and hurriedly stood up and said: "Your Majesty, the general has worked hard and made great achievements, and this time he has also won a lot, and he also won the land of Monan, do you think you forgot something and didn't say anything?" ”

Liu Che stared at Dongfang Shuo and said word by word: "I haven't forgotten, this is the reward I gave to the general." ”

"But ......" Dongfang Shuo still wanted to say something, but was immediately scolded back by Liu Che.

I saw Liu Che slap the bookcase in front of him fiercely, gritted his teeth and looked at Dongfang Shuo and said: "Dongfang Shuo, I ask you, what did I spend so much manpower, material and financial resources in this battle of Monan?" ”

Dongfang Shuo lowered his head and was silent, he instantly understood what Liu Che meant, and after a while, he had to say in a deep voice: "In order to be able to completely eliminate Yi Zhixie." ”

Liu Cheqiang endured his anger and nodded: "Yes, I launched the battle of Mo Nan in order to completely pull out the nail of Yi Zhixie, but now...... But what is the current situation, although Yi Zhixie has suffered a lot of losses, but the main force is still there, and he can still continue to deal with us, by the way, we also captured Mo Nan and drove Yi Zhi Xie to Mo Bei. ”

Liu Che slapped the bookcase heavily and roared: "But did we beat down that Mo Nan, or did Yi Zhixi not want it and threw it to us in vain!" ”

"He is now leading his troops to hide in Mobei temporarily, it won't be long before he will make a comeback, the so-called land of Monan will soon become the territory of the Huns, they can continue to harass my border passes, plunder and kill my Han people, just this result, how do you want me to reward Wei Qing!"

Dongfang Shuo continued to bow his head as a dumb man, Dong Zhongshu opened his mouth, he wanted to say something, but he didn't know what to say, now Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty was angry, and there was no way to persuade him about this matter.

To put it mildly, this battle of Mo Nan was a draw, and the two families won and lost each other, how could Liu Che greatly reward Wei Qing in this situation, not to mention that the strategic goal was not completed, and it was ...... After all, that guy Zhao Xin is now drinking wine and eating meat with Yi Zhi of the Huns.

If Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty rewarded him lavishly...... It will definitely provoke the ridicule of others, and the generals under your command have all defected, and you are still a fart.

After Liu Che finished speaking, the dragon robe shook and said, "Immediately send a fast horse to tell Wei Qing to speed up the march and rush to Chang'an as quickly as possible, I want to have a good chat with him!" ”

After speaking, Liu Che gritted his teeth in a low voice, clenched his fists and said: "The battle is actually like this, what is Wei Qing doing to eat!" ”

Dongfang Shuo spoke again at this time, and said with a smile on his face: "Your Majesty, the minister remembered a funny thing again, you listen, just say one day....."

"If you don't want your tongue anymore, tell me." Liu Che glared at Dongfang Shuo and said coldly

Dongfang Shuo was so frightened by Liu Che's words that he hurriedly shut up and sat back.

Next, Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty and his ministers continued to discuss, mainly around the relevant matters after the Battle of Monan, and also focused on studying how and how to fight the next big war.

The battle of Monan, now that it is over, the harvest of the Han army is still very large, after all, it controls Monan, creating favorable conditions for the future attack on Hexi, if it is not for Zhao Xin's such a thing, Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty will definitely reward Wei Qing, even if Wei Qing did not achieve the goal he set for him, but he still killed and injured the Huns to a large extent, and greatly frustrated their spirit.

Poor General Wei was all affected by Zhao Xin, but it didn't matter, because a fast horse of the Han army was rushing towards Chang'an at this moment, and the soldier's face showed an excited expression, and the horse whip in his hand was broken by him.