"Damn, damn it's going to be late again." As soon as I opened my eyes, I shuddered at the alarm clock at the head of the bed, put on my coat with lightning speed, and rushed downstairs with the door slamming painfully.

"Kaifeng, this is the fourth time you've been late this week, you know?" The director yelled at me at the throat, and the smell of garlic came at me, making me want to vomit. Hey, it's really bad luck that the door panel can't stop it, and as soon as I rushed into the office, I was hit by the haunting fat pig (director). Now, even the trouble of whistleblowing was saved, and I was taken into the director's office, leaving only a sympathetic look behind me.

"Director, I'm sorry, there was a traffic jam on the road, I helped an old grandmother cross the road, and she was stuck in the middle of the road, you see this time, forget it, next time I must be early, I must be ......" In order to keep the job in my hand, I had to smile at the pile of fat meat, but I secretly greeted the female relatives of the guy who were 16-22 years old since the 18th generation. (Reader: I hope his relatives are not as fat as him, and even Bajie is ashamed of himself)

"Traffic jams? Please find a better reason, it's only 5 minutes from your home to the company, but you are an hour late, even climb over, and you were helping the little sister yesterday, the day before yesterday was the big brother of the blind, and you were the day before yesterday to ......"

"Oh, I'll be sure to change it next time, Director." I was honestly afraid.

"Next time? Do you still hope that there will be a next time, I ask you, do you know what day of the week is today? The fat flesh on the fat pig's face trembling was full of anger.

"Today, Thursday." I said loudly, and as soon as the words came out, I shouted that it was not good, hey, this time it was miserable, it seems that this time it is the food of the rat's house that will not survive the dawn.

"Yes, you know it's Thursday, you've been late for four days in a row this week, and you said you want me to keep you? Let's go, the pond of our company is too small to accommodate a big man like you. The fat pig said, and with a wave of his hand, he asked me to go.

"Director, I ......," I wanted to fight for the last chance, but the director had already turned away, leaving me with only a huge back. "I don't have a place to stay here, I have my own place to stay," I said as I threw my things into a large cardboard box and walked out of the company building in despair.

Hey, today is August 26th, and school will start in a few days, and if you still haven't raised the tuition, you'll really have to be desperate. I found 6 jobs in one summer vacation, but none of them worked for a full month, which is really painful. God, this world is too unfair, some people have too much money and no place to use it, and I can't even make up the tuition fees, which is really unreasonable. Hey, I really can't do it, so I can only sell the computer, although it was left to me by a senior, but the rivers and lakes also take care of so much, I think he will definitely understand me.

By the way, I haven't been talking about who I am for so long. My name is Kaifeng Cai, I am a senior student at Xi'an XX University, 170CM tall, male, dignified, 22 years old, unmarried...... (Author: Dizzy, where did the marriage agency come from?) Born in a small mountain village in Hunan, where the scenery is beautiful and pollution-free, it is an excellent place for urban residents to travel on vacation...... (Chengguan A: Damn, where did the wild advertisements come from, a fine of 50 yuan.) Kaifeng Cai: Wow, the police are coming, run)

Back home, turned on the computer, I browsed the world's major websites (Chinese) again and again, large and small avenue gossip net, I realized that my stomach was already rumbling, no way, go and see what else in the refrigerator can soothe this unprovoked guy. Hey, the world has become more and more unpleasant these years, down to 18 years old, up to 80 years old old and young people are addicted to online games, resulting in a smaller and smaller share of basic production in the gross national product, basic material production has basically relied on robots, but the country has changed the face of a severe crackdown a hundred years ago, and put on a high posture of resignation, which is really the trend of the world. Hey,Maybe I'm really not able to keep up with this era.,A few days ago, Ah Feng's kid didn't laugh at me, I don't even play online games.,Play a computer to know how to look at the web browsing current political news,Buy things.,Is it an old antique? (Reader A: No, you're not an antique, you're a historical artifact)

Open the refrigerator, I looked up and down, left and right, and finally had to admit that it was empty, and then I remembered that I was going to go to the supermarket to buy it after work today, who knew that it was smashed by an angel (a piece of shit in the sky) early in the morning, not to mention the squid, and even the salary of the first 3 days was "dedicated" to the hateful leather bag company as a love donation. Hmph, it's better to let that damn company go out of business tomorrow, so that the director who is as fat as a pig can also taste the taste of living on the streets (Director: Who is thinking about me, is it Lili?). Author:•#¥¥%............ Still shouting every day to lose weight, saying that I lost 14 pounds in a month, what is the difference between a 250-pound pig and a 230-pound pig? (Dinosaurs: Kill!!! Hmph.

The whining is over, and it's time to face the harsh reality. I straightened my shirt that I had rotated several times, (Kaifeng dish: I'm unemployed, but I can't be ashamed of losing my job.) Reader A: Why am I again!! God, help me, someone is crazy. After 30 minutes of dressing up, I put up what I thought was a cool pose and went out of the house. Who knew that the good feeling didn't last for 10 minutes, and then I was frightened by the dense crowd of people at the entrance of the supermarket, my mother, why are there so many people? It's really lucky, and I can't even stuff my teeth when I drink cold water, but I pity the only shirt I can wear and be able to slightly recognize the original color when I see people. (Shirt: Hmph, I haven't complained yet, you are crying poor first, with a master like you, I really poured mold for eight lifetimes, and I haven't been washed for more than 1 month, hey)

I squeeze me, I squeeze, I squeeze, I rob, I grab, I grab. Haha, you can't blame me for being unkind, didn't a hero say it N years ago? "When we meet on a narrow road, the brave wins", anyway, I've been unlucky to this point, so why not be a little more unlucky? (Yo, who knocked me on the head?) After fighting in the crowd for more than two hours, stepping on the feet of 14 gentlemen and ladies, and tearing the shirts of 8 old men, (Kaifeng dish: Hehe, I don't dare to touch the lady's clothes, if I accidentally cause public outrage, then I won't be able to eat and walk around.) Lady One: Hmph, then you stepped on me a few times. Kaifeng Cai: Dizzy, who told you that your feet occupy an area several times larger than others. Group of girls: Dare to say that we are fat? Sisters, go up. Kaifeng dish:•#¥%%............ Pity me for being so wise that I was stunned by a group of girls, but fortunately I tried my best to protect my face, and my handsome face was preserved.

"Sir, it's 301 yuan in total." After the salesman threw me a professional smile, he immediately stretched out his hand, which was really depressing, hey, I had to smile cooperatively, and handed over the money.

"Here, this is the invoice, take it to the door to draw a lottery, and do an event today." After throwing this sentence to me, the salesperson went to receive the big brother with a smile on his back, and shattered my newly swelling male pride into powder. I had to pick up the invoice and look left and right, and sure enough, in a corner of the back was printed the words "You can draw a lottery with this ticket", haha, don't smoke white, don't smoke, if you're lucky enough to smoke a rice cooker back, it will be much more convenient to cook instant noodles in the future. (Everyone: Sure enough, it's a guy who has no future!!) ）

I walked to the door in high spirits, and my heart was half cold again. Damn, what the hell is smoking, so many people, can you use it? Are you unemployed today, come here to grab a rice cooker with me, a poor bastard? Hey, there's no way, let's line up obediently, but there is no rice cooker, and it's not bad to smoke a box of instant noodles and go back, haha. (Everyone: Idiot)

The charm of the rice cooker is great, after enduring more than 3 hours of painful suffering, I finally came to the front of the line, haha, dear rice cooker I came. "Sir, please pick a number ball. Sir, sir, what's wrong with you? "Hey, this girl is not polite at all, will I die if I let me YY more? Really. (EVERYONE FAINTED) HEY, OKAY, JUST LOOK AT HOW I HIT HUANGLONG, HAHA, I THRUST MY HAND UNDER THE BOX FIERCELY, LOOKING AT THE WOMAN'S PAINFUL EXPRESSION, I WAS SECRETLY COOL, HEHE, WHO TOLD YOU NOT TO LET ME DO MORE? (Hey, where did the bricks come from?) After pulling my hand out, I held the ball in my hand tightly, and after suffering from everyone's eyes, I had to slowly let go, I wanted to hit, I had to hit, I had to hit, wow, it was really the first prize, and I came to my rice cooker.

"Haha, I won, I won the first prize." (Host: Oh my God, there's another Fan Jin) Ignoring everyone's angry eyes, I laughed wildly.

"Wow, that's good luck, first prize."

"Damn, dare to snatch my first prize?!" A macho man.

…………

"Congratulations, sir, please come and receive the prize, sir, sir, what's wrong with you? Wake up, sir. "Ah, what's wrong? What about my rice cooker? "Rice cooker? What rice cooker? "It's the first prize!" "Oh, then, come your way......" The host saw that I had entered a superhuman state, so he had to pull me aside.

"Friends, today our only first prize has been produced, the winner is this gentleman next to me, hello this gentleman, what do you think after winning the award?" The host said, handed over the microphone, although it was the first time for me to speak on such an occasion, but I had seen a lot of award-winning speeches before, so I copied the microphone with one hand and said: "Thank you CCTV, thank you to my agent, thank you FANS." Finally, I would like to say thank you to the organizers of this event, thank you for giving me this opportunity to be able to get this rice cooker, thank you! ”

“#￥%……%……——**（（—……%￥￥%…………”

"God, I can't take it anymore!"

Before the words fell, the audience was already in a mess. The host blushed and said, "Excuse me, sir, we are a game draw this time, and your prize is a game helmet." ”

"What? Not a rice cooker? ”

"Yes, not a rice cooker, sir, have you heard of the game "Legend Reappears"?" I really admire the host, he can still speak fluent Mandarin in such a difficult environment. (Author: Shame on you#¥%............ ）

"I haven't heard of it. Can I exchange a prize? For example, a rice cooker will do. Okay? ”

"I'm sorry, this, this, it doesn't seem to be okay, but this helmet is limited to 30 million copies worldwide, which is very precious." Hey, it's really hard to be a host when you encounter such a game idiot.

"30 million? It seems to be pretty good.,It sounds pretty valuable.,Haha.,It's sent.,I'll sell it online in a while.,It should be able to sell for a lot of money.,Haha! ”

After listening to this, the host finally couldn't bear it anymore, and stuffed the prize into my hand and ran away in embarrassment. Subsequently, countless shoes fell from the sky. That night, the headlines of major TV media were "A game idiot coincidentally won the first prize, and after winning the game helmet of "Legend Reappearance", the host fled, hundreds of people threw their shoes angrily, and more than 100 people were stunned on the spot, causing the biggest tragedy in our city since 2100...... (God, there is a frontal photo of me, dead, dead, where is the hole in the ground!!) ）