"Never engage in pointless arguments with others." Some young people always want to understand everything, and there is a tendency to not give up if they don't fight to understand. In society, there are many such people, they are indeed winners, who are afraid to mention it, who meets them will hide, can't afford to provoke, hide and go, so what's the point of such winners? It is true that he won and lost, but he lost all his feelings and temperament.

Franklin said, "If you keep raising the bar and rebuttals, you may win once in a while, but that's an empty victory, because you're never going to get the other person's favor." ”

A scholar who loves debate, after studying the art of debate, listening to countless debates, and paying attention to their effects, came to the conclusion that there is only one way to get the most out of arguments – and that is to stop arguing.

You'd better avoid arguments, just like you avoid wars or vipers, you can never win from arguments, and if you lose your arguments, then of course you have failed; If you win, you still lose. This is because, even if you dismiss him as useless and useless, so what? You make him feel ashamed and inferior, you hurt his self-esteem, and he will not be convinced of your victory. Even if he has to admit that you have won on the surface, he will plant the seeds of resentment in his heart from then on!

The Boeing Life Insurance Company has a rule for their salesmen: "Don't argue, a truly perfect, effective sales pitch is not made by arguments, even the least noticeable arguments, because arguments don't make people change their will." ”

There was an Irishman named Jack who had little education but loved to debate with people. He worked as a driver and later as a car salesman, but not once did he succeed in selling a truck. Although he was eager to sell his car to a customer, if a prospective buyer said anything disparaging about the car he was selling, he would interrupt that person in anger and loudly defend his car. Of course, he did win a lot of debates. Later, he told the manager of the training department: "I was often helpless, and I taught those people something, but they didn't buy a car because of it." ”

The manager of the training department understands Jack's actual situation and teaches him how to exercise restraint to avoid conflict with others. You know, Jack soon became a sales star at the White Motor Company in New York, how did he succeed? Here's his own statement: "If I go and sell a car to a customer now, if he says, 'What? Your car? I don't want you to give it to me for nothing, I want to buy a Sailon car. So I told him that the Sailen brand is a good truck, and if you buy that brand, you can't go wrong." The Sailen brand is made by a very reliable company and the salesman is very good. ”

Then he had nothing to say. If he says that Sailen is the best, and I agree with him, he can't keep saying Sailen is the best all afternoon. Then we left the topic, and I began to tell him about the advantages of our trucks. ”

It is not a bad thing for a person to have good eloquence, but it is bad if it is not used properly. Regard "the speed of the tongue" as a kind of "happiness", which is the greatest sorrow of such people.

In a department store, a salesperson is busy picking out items for customers who come first. At this time, another customer hurriedly came to the counter: "Hey, comrade, buy something, hurry, hurry!" Seeing that the salesman did not respond, he became impatient, and knocked on the counter and shouted, "Salesman, where are your ears?" Can't you hear me speak? ”

If the salesperson is-for-tat and complains, he may say, "You don't have long eyes, don't you see that I'm busy!" Then, the two sides will inevitably quarrel and even scold each other, and make a lot of trouble. But this salesperson is good at controlling his emotions and is able to maintain a good self-state. She looked at the angry customer and walked over with a smile: "I'm sorry, comrade. I'm busy picking out things for other customers and keeping you waiting. What are you going to buy? I'll pick the right one for you. The angry customer was stunned for a moment, and an embarrassed smile appeared on his face: "I'm sorry, I want to buy a shirt and I'm in a hurry to catch the train." ”

The simmering conflict was finally averted. The salesperson transferred the customer's bad attitude to a normal communicative state. Onlookers cast their eyes of admiration and approval at the personable salesperson.

When you are arguing, you may be right, even absolutely right. But it's not useful to change the other person's mind. If a person is already full of malice towards you in his heart, even if you move out of the logic of various schools, you will not be able to convince him.

Leave room for you, if you have to chase and fight, forcing the other party to be cornered, it is possible to arouse the will of the other party to "survive", and since it is "survival", it may be "unscrupulous", which will cause harm to yourself, like a mouse locked in the room, not let it escape, the mouse in order to survive, will bite the utensils in your home, at this time if you let him live, he will not cause harm to you in order to "escape".

The wise Benjamin Franklin said, "If you debate and argue, you may win; But this kind of victory is not worth the loss, because you can never get the favor of the other person. "So you have to weigh it yourself, what do you want? Is it just a momentary performative pleasure, or is it a long-term favor? You may be absolutely right when you argue, but in the long run, you will get nothing.

The victory of the argument is not something to be proud of. Even if you win an argument, it will only be a superficial victory and will hurt the other person's self-esteem. Seeking victory in everything is easy to arouse the jealousy of others, and sometimes it will affect your pursuit of greater victory. The resentment and malice that you inspire by arguing with others will be long-lasting. Perhaps, on the road to your success, you have another stumbling block.