Foreword: Chapter 4 is the slowest and most painful I have ever written. I think that's what feels like to everyone. In the environment of Chinese football, seeking truth is cruel; But it is not realistic at all, but it seems thin; I thought about it for a long time, and I wrote it for a long time, and I passed the low tide period of Xiao Gao. Let's start our football story now.

Chapter 5 (01)

Time flowed slowly and persistently like flowing water, and in the blink of an eye, it was the spring of 1997.

After two rains, the weather suddenly warmed up, and the warm sun shone on the earth.

On the slopes of Guanyin Mountain on the other side of the Yangliu River, the grass that has just emerged from the ground is mixed with withered grass, decorating the slopes with yellow, yellow, green and green. In the col, a few clusters of early-blooming peach blossoms bloomed brilliantly. On both sides of the road along the river, the willow trees spit out the willow silk, like a girl's hair, swaying in the breeze. The Yangliu River, which had been silent for a whole winter, is now completely free from the fetters of winter, and is happily singing and running to her destination, Kangjiang......

The footsteps of spring do not stop on both sides of the Yangliu River, she also appears in people's lives. People take off their heavy winter coats and change into light jackets. The entrance of the clothing store is all put up with advertising signs that "winter clothes are sold at a reduced price"; Spring and summer clothes from regions and provincial towns are the best-selling items of this season. Every evening, in the open space by the river, you can always see adults and children flying kites, and the crisp and melodious wind chimes flutter far away with the wind.

You can feel the vitality of spring everywhere, and there is a vibrant atmosphere everywhere.

After the beginning of spring, the business in the dry cleaners in Gaochun has become more and more busy, every day people send winter leather clothes to dry clean or wax and oil, and some people send summer high-end clothes that have been left for a winter to be cleaned, and the only machine in the store almost does not stop, running from morning to night. Even with the help of her younger brother, Gao Chun often can't find time to pick up and drop off the doll to and from kindergarten, let alone make dinner for her husband and the doll. Later, she simply handed over all these things to her husband, and took care of the shop herself with peace of mind. In the past few days, she has been dealing with her brother in the store for two meals at noon and night. In this way, she and her brother's two meals are also restless, and they can be interrupted at any time by unexpected guests.

On Arbor Day, she had to give herself a day off, and the kindergarten wanted to organize children to plant trees at the foot of Guanyin Mountain, and they needed to be accompanied by their parents. She couldn't go. The husband's unit also had to carry out the same activities on the same day, and he repeatedly ordered that no one should ask for leave. And she hadn't played with the dolls for a long time, and the two little ones had a problem with it, and often ignored her with a flat mouth. So she decided to spend the day playing with her children, and the dry cleaners were temporarily left to her brother to take care of for her.

In this way, Gao Jinsong temporarily became the person in charge of the dry cleaner.

Now, standing behind the counter of the small shop, he quickly and carefully examined the two fur coats that a familiar customer had just delivered.

Compared to this time last year, his appearance has changed a lot. His face was still swarthy, and one could tell at a glance that he had been in the sun for a long time, but his face was not shiny; The cheeks, which had not been full before, are now thinner, more defined, and sharp as an axe. The eyes have lost their former brilliance, like a flame that has been extinguished, leaving only deep darkness. The jacket he bought in Chengdu the previous autumn was now worn on him, and it looked unusually wide, as if its owner had worn someone else's clothes by mistake......

The customer knew that he was the younger brother of the owner, who had come home to recuperate after suffering a leg injury while working in Wuhan. The guest also politely inquired about his recent physical condition.

The guest reminded him that this kind of problem must be careful, and if he doesn't pay attention to it, it may turn into an old problem, and gave an example of the experience of a colleague of his own, hoping that he can be vigilant, especially in this kind of spring season, according to the five elements, it belongs to the time when "clear qi rises and turbidity falls", it is easy to leave old roots for injuries......

Gao Jinsong smiled and responded to the guests' kindness.

He was well aware of his current physical condition. After reviewing his recovery report, the Swedish expert told him through an interpreter that he had great hope of returning to the court, but only if he underwent long-term and arduous rehabilitation under the guidance of professionals, as well as gradual training...... He only did the first half of the first phase of rehabilitation, and four days after the stitches were removed, he silently packed his simple luggage and left Wuhan. He couldn't afford the high cost of rehabilitation. For his injury, he not only owed a large amount of money himself, but also caused his eldest sister's family to suffer a famine for him. He didn't want his family to make any more sacrifices for him—he couldn't afford to burden his family in order to achieve a dream that he might never be able to achieve again. Not only for family, but also for friends. He has decided to give up football...... He never returned. His second physical examination was done at the district hospital; Later, he didn't even go to the area, so he went for an examination at the county people's hospital. This saves a lot of money. He still owes a lot of debts, and he may not be able to pay them back for the rest of his life......

There was no problem with the coat. He pushed the two leather coats aside, took a pen and paper to fill out the receipt, and said to the guest, "Come and pick it up in a week." Forty-five dollars together, and pay again when you pick up the clothes. He handed the completed receipt to the guest.

Seeing that the customer had no objection to the time and price, he pulled out a white plastic bag from under the counter and put the folded coat and the receipt into the bag. Seeing off the guests, he took the bulging plastic bag into the inner room and rested it on the workbench. The spacious workbench was already stacked with dozens of bags of laundry, all of which he had only taken on today. The newly collected clothes should not have been placed here, but his sister was not there, and he could not use the sewing machine, so he could not sew a white cloth strip with a receipt number on the clothes, so he had to put them here for the time being, waiting for his sister to come back.

He returned to the counter and continued to eat his lunch.

Lunch is noodles shouted from a restaurant across the street. Because of the delay for too long, the noodles have been soaked in soup and pasted together; The soup was no longer hot, and a few clumps of oil flowers that were about to condense together floated on the surface of the water along with a few green onions. He poured some hot water from the thermos into the bowl and stirred it with chopsticks, and the oil cubes were quickly melted by the hot water, but the noodles also completely turned into batter. He quickly ate and drank the soup and batter, and then put the bowl and chopsticks under the counter. These bowls and chopsticks are all from restaurants, and when they come to collect money for the meal after a while, they will naturally take them back to be cleaned.

He sat at the counter for a moment, smoked a cigarette, and then pulled a book from under the counter.

Reading was originally one of his hobbies, but now it is his only hobby. When he was lying in the hospital bed, and when he came home and had difficulty moving on crutches, he read a lot of books in order to pass the time of boredom and to keep himself from thinking about many things that were out of reach. Among them, there are historical stories, there are also popular copies of two or three well-known philosophical books, and of course, the most common is the biographies of people. There were some books he had read before, but at that time he could not understand them because of his age and experience; Some can understand, but not impressed. Now he had plenty of time to revisit them. A lot of the time he just looks at it and thinks. There are many things worth thinking about, sometimes it is the fate of the characters in the book, sometimes it is a social phenomenon involved in the book, and sometimes it is even a meaningful dialogue...... In any case, much of what he was thinking had nothing to do with himself.

However, many things in the book still resonated in his mind.

Sometimes he would put down his book and think about the misfortune he had suffered in Wuhan, the club's ruthless abandonment of him, and the faces he had once known.

Happily, reminiscing about the past doesn't leave him completely in a state of parochial anger and revenge. He is now rethinking his experience before and after Wuhan with a broader vision and a more pragmatic attitude. His scrutiny does not stop at himself, he also observes others in his memory. His vision is not fixed on himself, but tries to observe the whole event from different sides with the eyes of others. Sometimes he will use the words and deeds of the characters in the book to examine himself, and even criticize himself......

However, these reflections and criticisms could not replace his inner struggle.

The first problem he faces now is how to pay off what he owes to others.

He borrowed a total of 344,000 yuan before and after: Zhang Chi 110,000, Guan Mingshan 50,000, Chen Mingcan 50,000, Yao Yuan and Sun Junshan also 50,000, as well as Chi Yuwen and Duan Lianrui...... In order to take care of him in Wuhan, his eldest sister also borrowed some money for him from his brother-in-law Chen Gang's relatives, he didn't know how much, and asked the eldest sister several times, but the eldest sister always didn't say; He estimated that the money would be at least 20,000 yuan. At the hospital, he was only thinking about how to get through it and didn't plan too much for the future, but now, the heavy debt almost crushed him. He couldn't imagine how he could afford such a famine. Maybe he won't be able to pay it back for the rest of his life, until many years later, he will have to endure it for it......

He sadly cut off his thoughts, trying to draw his attention back to the book in front of him.

The book he is reading now is "Roosevelt." It's been almost two weeks since he borrowed the book from the county library, but he hasn't read even half of it. The fact that the dry cleaners have been busy all day in recent times is one reason, and the fact that there are too many events and characters involved in the book is another reason: he has some knowledge of the background of the Second World War, but he has no clue about the Great Depression in the United States before this; Moreover, the book often contains strange and awkward foreign names and place names, and he has to stop and turn the book back to look for it. Alas, the incoherent reading is also the reason why the book dragged on for so long......

He flipped through a few pages, and once again gave up on reading it because of the same trouble. He decided to take the time to return the book tomorrow and the day after tomorrow, and change it to another one, and this time he must not choose the same torturous book.

He took out the bookmark tucked into the book, found a clean plastic bag to put the book in, and lit a cigarette.

In addition to money, there are other problems in front of him, and he is now anxious about how to go in the future.

He will be twenty-two years old when he speaks. No matter where he is, a man of this age has to start planning his life, but he has no ability to make a living except playing football; This means that even if he imagines living like an ordinary person, he has a lot to learn from scratch. He doesn't have the luxury of playing football anymore. He is willing to be an ordinary person and live like an ordinary person, but he doesn't know where he should start.

The possibility of a return to football is gone, and no club will want him. Although he saw in the expired newspaper of the county library that his name was still on the winter transfer list of Wuhan Yafeng, he knew that it was just a trick by Yafeng, the purpose was just to make him disappear from people's sight without a trace: Yafeng did not need this player, and the transfer was not successful, so he had to retire......

The eldest sister once told him that the two of them could run this small dry cleaner together, and although the income was not much, it was enough to support him.

However, he was reluctant to do so. Although it was actually the dry cleaning shop he paid for the eldest sister, the eldest sister already had her own family after all, and this shop was actually the joint property of the husband and wife. Of course, he knew that if he insisted on sharing this shop with his eldest sister's family, his brother-in-law Chen Gang would not be able to directly oppose it. But he also knew that Chen Gang's doing this would definitely bring contradictions to the eldest sister's family, and he was sure that Chen Gang would never willingly set aside half of the store for him; When Chen Gang found that he couldn't stop this incident, according to that temperament, even if he didn't say it to his face, he would find a reason behind his back and sprinkle all the resentment in his heart on the eldest sister. Therefore, as long as he agrees to the eldest sister, the peace of the eldest sister's family will come to an end. At that time, with herself on one side and her husband and family on the other, the eldest sister may have to face the choice of family and affection. But no matter what she decides, she is a victim herself......

So he couldn't accept the eldest sister's suggestion.

While rejecting his eldest sister, he is also grateful for the care from his relatives.

However, the eldest sister's words still raised a question for him, that is, how should he plan his future.

Until this day, "the future" was only a symbol in his mind, and there was nothing left but awe and obedience to it. When he was still in the provincial football team, "in the future" meant that he would follow the footsteps of his predecessors, the youth team, the youth team, the senior team, and the work arranged by the government after retiring, step by step, which is "of course"; When he managed the warehouse at the Olympic mall, the "future" was that one day he would be able to re-enter the football field, which was a "dream"; When he is in the new era and Wuhan Yafeng, he will have a reliable and stable income and a stage to soar in the future, which is "reality"; After that, he never thought about his future again. But the eldest sister's words made him start to think seriously about his future again......

However, his environment and situation determine that his plans for the future cannot be divorced from reality. From a realistic point of view, he felt that he was completely sure that the future could only be one thing to go outside one by one, while he was still young. This time he doesn't think about football anymore, and he doesn't think about anything or worry about anything. There is no need to plan, there is no goal, you can go wherever you go, and you can go whatever you want.

As soon as the idea popped into his head, he was completely captivated by it.

He didn't want to do anything, he just lost his heart and wandered purely, and he couldn't imagine what kind of free life it was. He may be hungry, he may hit his head on the south wall of reality and bleed, but what is he afraid of, he is a good time to be physically strong, he has strength, he can go to work for a short time, he can carry stones and carry wood, as long as he is willing to endure hardship, he will not end up empty-handed.

It's a pity that he knows that this can only be his own good wish.

There is also a whole host of heavy debts waiting for him......

Although soon after he left Wuhan, he lost contact with Zhang Chi and Yao Yuan because of them, how could he forget those who helped him in his crisis, and the responsibility for not being in touch was not with them, but because in order to make up the huge medical expenses, he sold all the valuable things that could be sold, and the mobile phone that could no longer be of much use was at the top of the list of items to be sold; Back in Shanghe, the phone in the dry cleaner was ...... by Chen Gang again Alas, don't talk about these annoying things. In short, he lost contact with his friends. He couldn't reach out to them either. He and they have embarked on two paths, and life will never meet again except debt......

He figured he wouldn't contact them again until he paid back the money he had borrowed. At least part of it has to be paid back first......

Finding a way to pay back other people's money is the most important and urgent thing. Only by paying off all his debts can he be a refreshing and profitable person. Otherwise, it will weigh on him like a mountain, on his heart, and he will feel that he is a head shorter than others at any time.

But staying in the dry cleaners, staying in this small town, he can't have much chance to pay off his debts and start a new life.

He had to go to the big places and big cities to find opportunities. For example, in the Olympic shopping mall where he stayed in the provincial capital, although the meager salary could not allow him to save enough money to pay off his debts, there were far more opportunities there than staying in a small county town, he could start from warehouse management again, patiently waiting for opportunities, and as long as there was an opportunity, he believed that he would never let it slip away from his side, and he would definitely cherish it......

Only by doing so can he truly get back on his feet.

He had been thinking about it for days. The thought was like a fire burning more and more in his heart, so that he could not sleep until midnight, and could only sit at the head of the bed with his clothes on, and let the fire burn hot in his chest. His eyes were sometimes inexplicably filled with tears, and his hands and feet spasmed uncontrollably. He was well aware that to go was to go now. The sooner you go, the better. Otherwise, heavy debts and unpredictability of the future may force him to lose courage and confidence. That means he no longer has the right to speak to others with his waist straight!

He has already made up his mind, but he has never found a suitable opportunity to talk to his eldest sister.

He knew that the eldest sister could not agree with his idea immediately, and he had to find another convincing excuse for his idea. Otherwise, the eldest sister may mistakenly interpret his thoughts as he has an opinion on Chen Gang, which will completely deviate from his original intention.

But he couldn't make up a reason, and he couldn't bear to lie to his relatives.

Seeing the time pass day after day, his heart was filled with anxiety and sorrow.

In the end, he made up his mind that he had to go no matter what.

I'll talk to my eldest sister tonight.

As for the reason...... Just tell the truth to the eldest sister.