1

Do memories fade? Perhaps many memories will fade out of color, become pale, and finally disappear into time, without a trace. But I can't forget those bloody years, those vivid people and things often appear in front of my eyes, as if they happened yesterday, so clear and bright. The wind in the early autumn of 1938 was so refreshing, but my heart was so heavy.

2

The veteran oil son Song Qigui who was almost strangled to death by me is actually not much older than me, because he looks old and became a soldier very early, so the soldiers call him the old soldier oil zi. In the Kuomintang New Security Regiment No. 5, he is a character, no one does not know him, he has also mixed with several companies, everyone knows that he has a good head, many ghost ideas, rarely suffers, eats, drinks, prostitutes, gambles and everything. I really can't understand why Yang Sen took him with him when he became the company commander of the Dare to Die Company.

Song Qigui has always been obsessed with me.

During the period when the Fifth Regiment of Xinbao was blocking the Japanese army in Dabie Mountain, he stumbled me a lot, trying to kill me and avenge the pinch. One of the worst cases was one night before the war, when he stole my "Hanyang-made" rifle while I was unprepared. If a soldier does not have a gun, it is equivalent to having no life, and at that time, losing a gun was a capital crime, and if you want to know it to the regiment commander, you must shoot it!

I found out that the gun was gone in the middle of the night, after I woke up from a nightmare.

I broke out in a cold sweat, the gun will be gone?

I didn't dare to report the loss of the gun to Yang Sen, if this matter was publicized, it would soon spread throughout the whole regiment, and then Yang Sen wanted to protect me, and I couldn't protect it. How good is that? I thought about leaving, but that is not my behavior, immediately the big war is imminent, I escaped, that crime is ten thousand times greater than losing a gun, I can't afford to lose that person, it is impossible for all Chinese to point at my backbone and call me a soft bone!

In the middle of the night, there was no way for me to get my gun back, and I was so anxious that someone might find out that I had lost my gun at dawn.

I suddenly remembered the Jap.

At that time, the Japanese devils were less than thirty miles away from our station. I gritted my teeth and his mother, and Lao Tzu let go. So, I took three hands **, carried the ghost head knife on my back, quietly left the station, and touched the Japanese devil station.

I remember that night there was a little bit of starlight in the sky and the weather was cold.

I was familiar with the roads from our station to the Japanese devil's station, and they were all mountain paths, because Janssen took us to touch the situation many times. I have always walked fast, thanks to the fact that when I was a child, I kept running in the mountains, and I once raced with Shangguan Ming's hound, and I didn't lose much to it. When I was in the ranks of the Red Army, I showed this hand in front of Zhang Zongfu, and he was surprised to call me a Shenxing Taibao, and he also sent me to deliver urgent letters many times. I ran fast on this cold autumn night, and I ran for more than thirty miles, and I ran in less than an hour.

I found a Japanese devil on a hillside.

There were more than a dozen of them, around a campfire, babbling and babbling. At that time, it was rumored in the ranks that the Japanese were very good at fighting and that many soldiers were going to fight with the devils soon, and they couldn't help but be terrified, and in less than a month, our battalion alone shot three deserters. I looked at those Japanese soldiers, and I was a little apprehensive, I didn't know how good they were.

I lurked in the grass not far from them, and my heart was up and down, and a layer of fine sweat appeared on my forehead. Time passes minute by minute, and if I don't hurry up and do something, if they find out, I may not be able to escape, or if I escape, I will return to the team, and I will also be arrested and shot! my mother! Hengzhu is also a death, Lao Tzu doesn't believe in that evil, I dare to come alone, I will be determined, whether your fucking little devil is a wolf or a tiger!

A rush of blood rushed to my head!

is death, Lao Tzu is also an anti-Japanese hero, not a bear who escaped!

So, I threw three hands in succession.

In the explosion of the hand, the ghost cried wolf, and the flesh and blood flew sideways.

I said in my heart: Damn, the little devil is not an incorruptible body of King Kong, but also a flesh and blood body like us, what is there to fear! I rushed over, grabbed three rifles and a crooked machine gun and ran back, carrying a box of bullets.

When the devil heard the explosion, he came out of all corners and chased after me.

I was running so fast that they couldn't catch up with me.

Because I won it so easily, I couldn't be more proud. I ran for a while, but I didn't leave, lay on the ground, and by the misty starlight, when the devils caught up, I shot at them. It's been a long time since I've killed someone so painfully.

One shot at a time, I killed nine devils in one go.

It's so fucking enjoyable!

Later, there were too many devils, so I had to put away my gun and run all the way back to the station.

When I returned to the station, it was already dark. There was a blow up in the barracks at the station, and when they heard the gunshots, they thought that the Japanese devils had attacked by sneak attack. Yang Sen asked each platoon to count the number of people, and found that I was missing, and when he was wondering, the veteran soldier Song Qigui told him that I might have escaped. Yang Sen scolded: "This bastard, I always thought he was a bloody man, but I didn't expect that before he fought with the Japanese devils, he would be strained and escaped!" Lao Tzu has eyes but no beads! ”

When Janssen saw me come back and bring back so many weapons, he was stunned, and his wide mouth was not closed for a long time. Song Qigui was also stunned, he never thought that I would do this, instead of killing me, he made me a platoon commander! At that time, I didn't know that it was Song Qigui who stole my gun and drove me to a dead end. My incident shocked the morale of the Fifth Regiment of the New Security Guard, and laid a psychological foundation for the bloody battle of Jigong Mountain behind.

3

Jigong Mountain is an inconspicuous mountain in Dabie Mountain, but in my life, like the ancient ridge of Songmaoling, it is a monument built with corpses.

The new Fifth Security Regiment was stationed at the Jigong Mountain position the day before the Mid-Autumn Festival.

After we dug the trench, the Mid-Autumn Festival arrived. That morning, each of us received two biscuits. I eat quickly, and since I was a child, I was said by the people of Changling Town to be reincarnated as a starving ghost, so those two baked cakes were quickly stuffed into my stomach. As soon as I drank a sip of water, the Japanese artillery fire covered me, and some of the soldiers were killed before they could finish eating the baked cakes, and a broken arm flew in front of my eyes, and I saw that the hand was still holding half of the baked cakes.

The Japanese devils are damn enough, they let the puppet army launch an attack on the Jigongshan position under the cover of artillery fire, isn't this for us Chinese to fight Chinese? These scumbags are also willing to work for the little Japanese devils, and when I saw them, I was so angry that I knocked down a person who looked like an official with one shot, and then Yang Sen gave the order to fire.

The little Japanese devils saw that the puppet army was not fought at all, and only after we repelled it did their regular troops attack.

I have to admit that the Japanese devils do have a way of fighting, after a morning of fighting, we have already suffered most of the dead and wounded, and the regiment commander holds the microphone of the walkie-talkie and keeps calling for reinforcements. But the reinforcements had not arrived for a long time, and the battle was fought until the evening, and it seemed that it could not be resisted.

The regiment commander ordered to hold the position even if he died.

In the smoke of gunpowder, the setting sun showed a blood-stained face in the mist.

The Japanese devil tore a hole in the position on the left side of our company, Yang Sen's eyes were bloodshot, and he shouted: "Brothers, rush to Lao Tzu!" He grabbed a rifle, got on the bayonet and rushed over, and I picked up the devil's knife and followed him, rushing over. For a while, the position was filled with shouts and killings one after another. That evening, I wielded the Devil's Head Knife, I don't know how many devils' heads I cut off, and after the devils retreated, both of my arms were numb.

I stood in the twilight wind and felt the smell of death so choking.

I gasped for air, my mind confused.

"Mazi, pock, come here-"

Who's calling me?

"Mazi, Mazi, come here, the company commander can't do it-"

It was Song Qigui calling me, yes, I heard it, it was Song Qigui calling me, even though my ears were ringing. In the vast twilight, I saw Song Qigui squatting there waving at me, and I walked over quickly. Yang Sen's head rested on Song Qigui's thigh, and there were multiple wounds on his body, some of which were stabbed by a bayonet and some were hit by bullets, and the wounds were bubbling with blood bubbles outside. His mouth opened and closed, and mouthfuls of blood poured out of it.

Song Qigui cried, he looked at me crying and said, "The company commander is gone, pockmarks!" ”

I crouched down, and Janssen held out a hand to me tremblingly, as if to grasp something, but he couldn't grasp anything at the moment. I said to him sadly: "Company commander, you must hold on, you won't die, you won't!" ”

Song Qigui cried and said, "Mazi, the company commander wants to talk to you!" ”

I put my ear close to Janssen's mouth, and I heard a grunting sound coming from his throat, followed by his staccato voice: "Numb...... Pockmark...... You remember to ...... me Cremated my body, let's ...... Let my soul ...... Still...... And you have to say yes...... I'll do one thing, for Li...... Li Guibao...... Newspaper—"

Before he could finish speaking, he swallowed his breath with a tilt of his head.

Song Qigui suddenly burst into tears.

His cries spread far and wide.

At this time, Zhang Fakui came over and yelled at Song Qigui: "What the fuck are you crying about, don't cry!" ”

Song Qigui ignored Zhang Fakui at all and continued to cry loudly.

I said to Zhang Fakui heavily: "Battalion commander, just let him cry, he feels uncomfortable." ”

Zhang Fakui yelled at me: "Won't I fucking be uncomfortable? Janssen is dead, don't I feel bad? Am I not upset that so many brothers have died? ”

I'm speechless.

After a while, Zhang Fakui whispered to me: "From now on, you are the company commander of the Dare to Die Company!" ”

That night, the very round and bright Mid-Autumn Moon hung in the sky, and the Jigong Mountain position was cloudy and windy, and I could hear the mournful cries of many undead. Song Qigui and I piled up the bodies of Yang Sen and the dead brothers and lit a fire. The thick smoke from the raging fire obscured the bright moon, and many souls drifted back to their respective hometowns on this Mid-Autumn night.

4

Yang Sen confessed two things to me before he died, the first thing I did, but the second thing I can never do, I can't kill Zhang Fakui on that Mid-Autumn Festival night. It can be said that I want his life to be easy, but I know that personal hatred is so worthless compared to national hatred and family hatred.

Yang Sen is a bloody Chinese soldier, and Zhang Fakui is also a bloody Chinese soldier.

On that Mid-Autumn Festival night, the head of the Fifth Regiment of the New Security Regiment ran away with a few people, and in the early morning of the next day, everyone found out. This incident caused an uproar among the officers and soldiers on the battlefield. Some soldiers shouted to leave, but Zhang Fakui stood up and said to everyone: "It's the Chinese who stay, not the Chinese who get out of the way of Lao Tzu!" ”

The soldiers who were clamoring to leave listened to him and stopped talking.

Song Qigui said loudly: "Brothers, let's all listen to the command of Battalion Commander Zhang, and fight the devil to the end!" ”

There was an overwhelming sound from the position: "Fight with the devil to the end!" ”

Soon, the mountain artillery of the Japanese devils began to bombard the Jigong Mountain position again.

I lay on my stomach in the trench and watched ahead, the devil was already shouting for a new round of attacks on our positions.

I said in my heart: "Little devil, come on, as long as Lao Tzu does not die, I want your life!" ”

Song Qigui lay next to me, and in the deafening sound of cannons, he said to me in a loud voice: "Mazi, I want to confess one thing to you-"

I also said loudly, "Damn it, if you have something to say, if you have a fart, let it go!" ”

Song Qigui said loudly: "Mazi, I can't stand you-"

I said, "What the fuck are you talking about-"

Song Qigui said: "Mazi, I said I can't live with you-"

I said impatiently: "I know, didn't you just rip off my pants and let everyone see that I am a waste, this is a fool!" When is this, you still mention this bird thing, if it is in normal times, you mention this bird thing, I will have to split your dog's head! Attention, the devil rushed up. ”

The gun in my hand went off.

I heard Zhang Fakui shouting: "Brothers, hit Lao Tzu!" ”

Suddenly, there was a burst of gunfire.

Song Qigui said to me while shooting: "Mazi, I didn't say that, I said, it was that night-"

At this time, I only have crazy attacking devils in my eyes, and I don't care what Song Qigui says. But Song Qigui still said reluctantly: "That night, I stole your gun-"

"it!" I scolded viciously and threw out a hand**.

Song Qigui next to me suddenly lost his voice, and the gun in his hand was also dumb. I turned my head and glanced at him, only to see his face fall there. I yelled, "Song Qigui, what's the fuck wrong with you?" Don't pretend to be dead for Lao Tzu, get up and fight, the devil is pressing. ”

Song Qigui can't hear my voice anymore.

I roared, "Fuck your mother's little devil, come, come—"

I'm crazy!

I didn't even hear the sound of a cannonball coming in, when I suddenly felt someone push me hard and fall on top of me. A loud bang rang out around me. It was a mortar shell. The body that pressed on me was so heavy that I couldn't breathe, and the hot sticky liquid flowed down my face, and it was not my blood, but the blood of the person who pressed on me. Who's that? I yelled, "Go down, stop holding me down!" "The man was indifferent, and I sensed something was wrong. I flipped the person on my back over, panting and getting up, I saw Zhang Fakui lying there, half of his heavenly spirit cover was cut off by shrapnel, and I could see **.

If it weren't for him, I would have died.

Bullets screamed and scurried in the dirt in front of the position, and I seemed to hear the joyful singing of death, a song that was incompatible with the anger and sorrow in my heart, and drove me crazy.

War turns man into a demon.

When there were only a few dozen people left in the Jigong Mountain position, we ran out of bullets.

I wielded the ghost-headed knife, roared out of the trench, and rushed desperately into the enemy's group, it was a battle in the dark......

5

I saw Huang Qigu walking towards me in the hazy twilight, the smile on her face solidified into a piece of earth, she called out my name, and her voice was so desolate. She took my hand, her hand was cold and dry, she didn't speak, I didn't know where she was going to take me. We walk in the dark earth, and the fields, mountains, and rivers pass by us, leaving no trace. I want to say, I'm so tired that I can't walk anymore. But I couldn't say anything, and let her take my hand and walk through thousands of rivers and mountains. I want her to lead me to a world of light, where there is no hatred, no war, no calamity, no hunger...... But we have been walking through the darkness from which we will never recover. Walking and walking, Huang Qigu disappeared, the cold and dry hand that held me disappeared, and what I held was the dust in the dark. How lonely and helpless, like those weathered weeds in the dark.

……

I crawled out of the pile of dead and breathed the air of blood and death.

Is Lao Tzu still alive?

What day is it? It should be August 16, the moon of the fifteenth is sixteen, what about the moon? The darkness that can't be seen in the five fingers, the world is so silent, the silence after the baptism of war. The silence in the darkness made me shiver, made me tremble, and made my blood cold. All I could reach out to touch were stiffened corpses and congealed blood, and I couldn't tell whose corpses they were, my brothers and my enemies. The savage slaughter made the heavens and the earth so dark, so terrifying.

How do I find my way in the dark?

How do I gain power in hatred?