Li Yunlong has been in a very bad mood recently, mainly because his relationship with his wife Tian Yu has become increasingly tense, because during the "anti-rightist" movement that swept the country last year, Tian Yu's parents were both designated as "ultra-rightists," dismissed from public office, and sent to the Xingkaihu Labor Reform Farm in the Great Northern Wilderness for re-education through labor. After Tian Yu heard the news, he cried for a whole day and a night, and fell seriously ill.

Li Yunlong was not at all surprised by what happened to his father-in-law and mother-in-law, he had long felt that this pair of old intellectuals were not a peaceful generation, they spoke too out of line, and they always had a deep prejudice against the Communist Party, what should be supervised by power, what laymen could not lead insiders, and what freedom of speech. To Li Yunlong's ears, these words are indeed very reactionary, and the Communist Party's country was bought by thousands of martyrs with their blood, can they be handed over? Alternate powers? It's up to these rightists to figure it out. No freedom of speech? Of course, we can't give counter-revolutionaries and rightists the right to talk nonsense, otherwise they won't be against the sky. It's good to go to the transformation and transformation, learn some lessons, and you can take off your hat after the transformation is done. That's what he thinks, and that's what he persuades his wife. Who knew that Tian Yu didn't appreciate it at all, but looked at him with a strange eye, he never found that his usually gentle wife would have this kind of gaze, extremely disappointed, heartbroken, angry and contemptuous, that gaze was too complicated. The wife finally hung her head and said nothing. But Li Yunlong found that Tian Yu moved his bed into another bedroom that day and no longer lived in the same room with him. This made Li Yunlong very angry, he didn't like women to use this means to blackmail their husbands, which was a kind of contempt for their husbands' rights. He slept alone for a few nights, saying that he didn't care, and hoped that his wife would move back after he was angry, but he didn't expect that Tian Yu seemed to be preparing to separate for a long time, and he had no intention of changing his mind at all. Li Yunlong, who was alone in the empty room, spent every night tossing and turning and being hungry and thirsty. In a fit of rage, he moved to the military headquarters and never went home again.

Feng Nan:

Hello!

I haven't communicated for a long time, and I'm very worried about it, how are you and Zhao Gang living well in Beijing? I really want to meet you, I feel very lonely right now, really, very lonely. I don't even have a friend to talk to. Back then, you and I laughed and talked and cut the candle window. Now, you have no traces, people are like yellow cranes, I really shouldn't introduce you to a good husband and let you die of old age.

There was no starlight tonight, and my heart was pounding, as if I heard a voice calling from afar, and suddenly woke up from my dream. I looked out the window and at the vast night sky and the flickering yellow light of the distant fishing fire, and tried to recall the scene in the dream, this strange and absurd dream, which I had lost its vague and hazy details as I tried to recall it clearly, and only one picture was unusually clear: it was like a field, surrounded by a layer of milky white mist, the sky was chaotic, clear and cloudy, and some people walked on this field in high and low clusters, and their faces shone with a metallic luster. They came up to me, and I could vaguely make out that my father and mother were among them. The picture was like a silent movie, although I cried desperately, but they all looked forward one by one, as if they didn't see me at all, and I passed by, I turned back to chase them, but I couldn't catch up, the white fog in front of me, a vastness, and there was a faint scene in the vastness, and their figures drifted towards the far-reaching vastness......

I sat in front of the window, my heart beating wildly, and I was soaked in cold sweat, was this some kind of warning from heaven to me? I was puzzled. Feng Nan, I don't understand, I really don't understand, what's wrong? Recently, I happened to see an internal document and was shocked to see that in this "anti-rightist" campaign, there are more than 500,000 people who have been condemned as rightists, and more than 90 percent of them are intellectuals and high-ranking intellectuals. You may have seen in the newspapers, my parents are among them, and there are many old-timers that you and I are familiar with, all of whom have been repeatedly mobilized to help the party rectify its work and put forward their opinions to the party, and finally ended up in this kind of situation, which is said to be called luring the snake out of the hole, which is terrible.

As for the merits of this movement, I don't want to judge it, because it's too complicated, but I just think that in a country where intellectuals are already scarce, putting more than 500,000 intellectuals into a separate book at once will bring disastrous consequences to our nation, and this disaster will gradually be revealed in the years to come, and our nation's rationality will gradually be lost, and will there be a future for a foolish nation? Who can stop a people from sliding into catastrophe today?

Lao Li and I have officially separated, because we can't communicate ideologically. He thought that what happened to my parents was deserved, and his coldness made my whole body cold all at once, and I seemed to know him again, although the term "human nature" has disappeared in this era in which we live, there should still be some residual human nature in family life. If you can't find a little warmth of humanity in your family, then what's the point of life? I thought about divorce, but I immediately dismissed the idea because I found out that I was pregnant again, and I wanted to tell you that this was my last child and I would never have any more children again. In addition to the relationship between husband and wife, I also have an idea that I have no right to bring more lives into this world to suffer, and I cannot predict what disasters will await my children in the future. I couldn't help but shudder at the thought of that.

Feng Nan, I'm looking forward to your reply and tell me about your recent situation. Hello Comrade Zhao Gang, you are really blessed, there is a chivalrous general with you, you should be content.

Tian Yu

March 2, 1958

Tian Yu:

Hello!

When I received your letter, I didn't delay for a minute, and immediately put down what I was doing to reply to you, so as to save you from complaining. Who can refuse the request of a beautiful woman? Even if she's a woman, just kidding. I don't want to comfort you too much, at this time, any comfort is very empty, I just want you to be strong and hold on. I just want to tell you that in the past movement, if it weren't for an accidental reason, I would not have escaped my fate.

At the beginning of the movement last year, when our Beijing Normal University was deserted, the party branch secretary of my department worked very sincerely one by one, mobilizing professors and lecturers to put forward their opinions to the party, and also said that those who did not want to put forward their opinions were separated from the party and detached from morality, and those who helped the party rectify its style and make the party correct its mistakes were those who truly loved the Communist Party. When everyone heard this, they couldn't sit still, because this logic was ready-made, and those who were unwilling to help the party correct its mistakes were bound to be people with ill intentions. What's more, it's not that everyone has no opinions to mention, but they are just extremely cautious. You know, I'm also a cannon temper, and I never intend to hide my views, and since the party cadres are personally mobilized, it's not good to hide them in my heart, so I also thought of a few things to prepare to speak at the meeting.

Who knew that Lao Zhao suddenly decided to go to Beidaihe to recuperate that night, and he had to ask me to accompany him. At that time, I was very strange, because Lao Zhao never used his annual recuperation leave, this was the first time he took the initiative to propose, and he was impatient. I said I was very busy at work right now and couldn't go with him. Unexpectedly, he suddenly became angry, and started a fire at me without a head or brain, saying that I had never cared about him, and threatened to divorce me if he didn't accompany him. It scared the hell out of me, and I thought something was wrong with him, or he wouldn't have done that. You know, we have never quarreled since we got married, and we have always respected each other and loved each other. You know, I seem to have a relationship with him in my previous life, I love him more than myself, and with the help of you and Lao Li, I found him in the vast sea of people, you say, how can I be willing to lose him? Even if I make him angry, I think it's my fault. So I immediately compromised, apologized to him, asked him for forgiveness, and packed up my bags, what work, what meetings, what whistles, all of which could be more important than my beloved husband?

As you might have guessed, more than twenty professors and lecturers in our department were condemned to the right, and I miraculously escaped disaster. Just imagine, if I didn't accompany Lao Zhao to recuperate at that time, but participated in the Ming Fang meeting, according to my character, why wouldn't I speak? For this matter, I asked Lao Zhao, did he hear something or have a premonition that he designed to deceive me? He just smiled faintly and said, I just want you to accompany me to recuperate, and it will be the same in the future, I want you to accompany me every year in the future, and you can't hide if you want to, otherwise I will divorce you.

Really, Lao Zhao, he is still a mystery to me until now. In the past few years, he has spoken less and less, and he has gone into the study in his spare time. A few times I walked into the study and found him just sitting dumbfounded, his eyes looking out the window and contemplating. I know he's thinking about something big, trying to find out, but he's not willing to talk to anyone, even me.

Tian Yu, I read about my uncle and aunt in the newspaper, I feel sorry for you, I can feel your pain and confusion, you have read a lot of books over the years, knowledge makes you profound, makes you wise, and will also make you miserable. Hegel said that in a deep soul, even pain does not lose its beauty. You should understand that there is no pain for those who have no thoughts. I told Lao Zhao about your situation, and he was silent for a long time, and only said one sentence: Character is fate. Compared to the long river of history, the ending of a tragedy is not necessarily a tragedy. When talking about the relationship between you and Lao Li, Lao Zhao said that he and Lao Li have been friends for many years and know each other very well, he has shortcomings, is rude, has no culture, and is often self-centered. But he is upright, old-fashioned and warm-hearted, in the face of evil, he will always be a brave hero, once awakened, his courage will be better than ordinary people, Lao Zhao is ashamed of himself. He said that his personality and Li Yunlong are very different, and there is only one thing in common, that is, tragic character. Zhao Gang finally asked me to tell you that he is willing to use his personality to vouch for that Li Yunlong may be a husband with shortcomings, but he is a well-known man, a man with a heroic temperament, and he Zhao Gang will never look away from this, and I hope you can give tolerance and understanding.

Divorce is a major event, it is not the best policy, please consider it carefully, Lao Li also needs time to improve himself. Tian Yu, you have to cheer up, you have a lot of things that others envy, beauty, wisdom, and friendship. Remember that whether you are happy or sad, you have a good friend who is bless and share your worries. If you tell your friends about your happiness, you will get two parts of happiness, and if you confide your sorrows to your friends, you will share half of your sorrows.

Regards!

Feng Nan

March 9, 1958

Tian Yu:

I am writing to you at the Xingkai Lake Labor Reform Farm, maybe I won't write again in the future, you can take it as your last letter. I think you already know that both your father and I were condemned as "rightists" and concluded as "extreme right" and are now undergoing labor reforms. Your father and I were not in the same room, and there was no chance of meeting. Our main work is farm work, now we are digging canals to dredge the irrigation system, the Northeast thaw late, in March the land is still frozen as hard as rocks, we have to use steel drills and heavy hammers to freeze the square, everyone is very energetic, our women's team is full of intellectuals, shoulders can not pick hands can not be lifted, life pampered habits, when we first came, everyone in the face of hard life and harsh natural environment are at a loss, feel that the future is bleak.

The government supervisors found that my thinking was very pessimistic, so they organized everyone to study in a timely manner, and we studied Mao's "Urging Du Yuming to Surrender", and after discussion, everyone felt suddenly enlightened, especially the last sentence of Mao's article made everyone feel deeply: "To this day, there is no need to say all empty words, or to do a practical work, so as to make meritorious service and redeem yourself, so as not to flee, so as not to be spurned by the people......"

When I read this, everyone was so moved that I cried, and I couldn't cry anymore, this sentence really went to our hearts. We, the bourgeois intellectuals, are covered with the sludge of the old society, and the government has done its utmost to our bourgeois intellectuals, giving us generous living conditions, giving us full democracy, and creating all kinds of good conditions for our work. But on the contrary, we will take revenge and take advantage of the Communist Party's rectification to attack the Party rampantly. Now that I think about it, we are indeed deeply sinful, and we have exhausted the bamboos of the South Mountain, and the sins of books are not exhausted; The waves of the East China Sea are broken, and the evil is inexhaustible. Now, in order to save us, the party is carrying out labor reform and giving us a way out of life. Where would such a lenient policy exist except for the Communist Party? Our gratitude cannot be expressed in words, and we can only shout with tears: Long live the Communist Party! We are determined to wash away our sins with the sweat of labor, change our minds, become new people, and strive to take off the hat of rightists at an early date and return to the ranks of the people.

Daughter, mom I'm sorry for you, if our sins affect your political future, we can only ask for your forgiveness, please draw a line with us, we are not worthy of being your parents. You have to take care.

Shen Danhong

March 10, 1958

Tian Yu rushed into the bedroom, closed the door carefully, lowered the curtains, and then threw herself on the bed, biting the corners of the quilt with her mouth, crying silently, she trembled violently, spasmed, and tears poured out. She couldn't believe that this letter of repentance and humility had been written by her mother, who had been so arrogant, so talented, so well-mannered, so graceful. Now, she seems to have changed as a person, not only has she lost any self-esteem, but even her writing has become like an immature middle school student's essay. Oh my God, it's horrible!

Li Yunlong happened to see Shen Danhong's letter, and after reading it, he was in a very happy mood, and said to his wife: "That's right, it doesn't matter if you make a mistake, just change it." It would be too much to say that you want to draw a clear line, can you draw it clearly? No matter how she is, she is also your mother, my mother-in-law, or a member of the family, you write to them, let them reform well, and strive to take off their hats as soon as possible, in the future they will have no place to go, so they will live here, let's give the elderly a pension, filial piety still has to be done. ”

Tian Yu didn't say anything, just glanced at Li Yunlong, and his eyes were very complicated, with gratitude, indifference and indifference.