What should I do? What can I do?

I've been thinking about these two questions for two days, but I haven't been able to get answers. No...... Maybe there is an answer, but I don't want to admit it, because it is just something so simple that anyone can think of and do it, and it is also the ultimate choice of the most inferior thinking and cowards - there is nothing to be done but give up.

Whether it's arrogant or arrogant, even if it's a madman, I admit it, but the only thing I don't want to be judged is a coward. It doesn't matter what the result is, the important thing is that when you can't do anything, you look at the high steps and stop, and if you can't do anything, you come to the conclusion that "your ability is limited and you have to give up".

I can't tolerate myself like this, this is my bottom line. Letting everything happen and end like this is even worse for me than sacrificing everything I have and ending up with nothing, or even worse.

"Hey, the yarn is not there, it feels like something is missing at home, empty."

After breakfast, her mother scrubbed the dishes and let out a wistful sigh, and if Yarn was still there, Yarn would help her clean up the mess after dinner, or wipe down the table, or set the dishes, or accompany her to say something—Jing rarely did this, and even when she helped with household chores, she often used her spell to solve them quickly, and until her spell was revived, she hardly interfered in household chores.

In other words, yarn feels more like a child at home, while tranquility is ...... Like an outsider living at home, there is always a faint sense of estrangement and alienation, just like me. As a resurrected person with incomplete memories of my previous life, even if I don't have a deep impression of my parents in my previous life, these memories have eventually become an invisible barrier between me and my parents in this life, and my relationship with them has never been as complete as that between ordinary parents and children.

When a normal child is young, he will be very attached to his parents, and will often play around his parents, ask for all kinds of knowledge, or desire to play with his parents - these intimate behaviors are not visible to me and Jing.

I don't need to say much about what I have with the memories of my previous life, and Jing may have been influenced by my thinking, and she doesn't seem to be very close to her parents. This causes the atmosphere and relationship of the family to reveal a faint jerky feeling, which is not as close as other families.

Of course, this is not to say that the family relationship is bad, it can only be said that it is not as complete as a normal family relationship, and it doesn't feel much at ordinary times, but when the yarn moves in, the disharmony in this family relationship is a little prominent.

Because, Saa is more willing to be close to her parents than me and Jing, and she is more willing to manage family relationships with her heart than us, which is something that Jing and I have not been able to do.

But when I think of what will become of such a veil after absorbing the memory, thinking, and personality of Miss Liuzhi, my heart aches faintly, and I think she will return to the lonely state before she met me...... With the life of her only relative as nourishment, she re-established a shell that was separated from the world, and became a lonely person like Miss Liuzhi - she was obviously the only relative, but she died because of her own life, and such a harsh conscience would inevitably put her in a psychological shackle that she could not break free, and no one could get close to her heart.

What's more, is the yarn at that time really the same as the original? In other words, it is just a shell used to hold the "six senses" of many ancestors.

My hand on the table trembled unconsciously, and my breathing was so disturbed that I couldn't help myself, but the next moment, a cold and warm palm gently covered the back of my hand. I looked up in amazement, and saw a quiet and soft face; She tilted her head slightly, and stared at me with her green amber eyes, which were as gentle as water, and conveyed the same emotion from the hand she had attached to the back of my hand.

Even without words, her expression was as flat as usual, but it poured into my heart like a clear spring, giving me confidence and confidence—at least...... At least I'm not alone, no matter how difficult it is, I won't bear all the bitterness alone, and she, who can share all my thoughts, will definitely be by my side.

For the first time, I was able to connect with my heart for silence...... Even if you feel fortunate that you are only reading your mind unilaterally, many times, thoughts that cannot be conveyed and cannot be conveyed by words accumulate in your heart, and will gradually turn into the heaviest load and overwhelm you. At such a time, just thinking that there is someone who is listening to your troubles, understanding your predicament, and allowing yourself to trust without reservation, even if it is just that, is enough to be the greatest help to yourself.

I turned my palm over and grabbed Jing's hand, which met her palm. Her long, curled eyelashes fluttered gently with her eyelids, like ripples on the water, revealing a slight unexpected color, but in an instant they were calm, and only from the corners of her lips that she was imperceptibly upturned could she perceive the joy of her mood at this moment.

"Whew...... Meet Miss Liuzhi again, without her support, nothing can be done - some things will never change if they are not explained thoroughly. Fold...... You don't know anything, do you? ”

After an almost suffocating kiss, Jing sat up straight with her hands on my chest, gasping softly and rapidly, her misty eyes fluttering, revealing a watery charm. Under the light shining through the windowsill, the flush on her cheeks due to the lack of oxygen was rendered into a bright peach, like a ripe peach in summer, white and tender with pink, which looked extraordinarily gorgeous and attractive.

After a while, she regained her calm appearance, stood up, opened my door and walked out, and playfully turned her head and stuck out her tongue: "This time I took the initiative, and my sister didn't break the agreement." ”

With that, she closed the door and walked away with a light step. I lay down on the tatami mat, rubbed my arms, which were a little numb from being bound by the magic force, and shook my head with a wry smile. I think that the coldness and distance of this time are all because of the bet.

Suddenly, I regretted that I probably shouldn't have agreed to her bet casually in the first place, but now that I think about it, not only did I artificially create a sense of confrontation between each other, but also made my relationship take a turn for the better. On top of that, I now feel like I'm more likely to lose, and maybe even willingly admit defeat.

Wrong...... What the hell was I thinking......

I shook my head again and again to shake the mess out of my head, took a few deep breaths to suppress the frivolous thoughts in my heart, and then stood up and began to prepare for the outing—Jing's words opened the knot in my heart.

Indeed, in any case, in this case, I only look at the problem from the perspective of an outsider, even if I heard about the affection from Miss Tomiko, but after all, it is only a look at the flowers through the fog, although the outline is clear, but it may be far away. It is better to blindly think and solve problems from your own perspective than to solicit the ideas and desires of the parties in it.

It's nothing more than that.

In this way, I went to the No. 2 Hospital again, and nervously consulted the woman at the front desk about Miss Liuzhi's physical condition, and the woman in the nurse's uniform glanced at me and told me that Miss Liuzhi had woken up, but it was up to her to decide whether to allow a visit.

When I heard that Miss Liuzhi had woken up, I couldn't help but feel happy, and hurriedly asked if Sha had also woken up, but I got a negative reply, and learned that at the request of Miss Liuzhi, Sha was transferred to Miss Liuzhi's ward, and if you want to visit, you also need to get the consent of Miss Liuzhi.

Finally, I had to apply for a visit, and the nurse took me to the third floor, and the nurse first knocked on the door in front of the Narcissus ward, then pushed the door in, and after a while she came out and waved at me: "Miss Hana doesn't want to see you, and let me tell you that when her daughter Saa wakes up, she will let Saa come to you." ”

"Why?"

I thought it was just a process, but I didn't expect to get a rejection reply in the end, and my heart was full of doubts.

"She also said: 'If that little ghost asks why, tell him to think for himself, and when he understands, I'll see him whenever I have one chance.' ”

Miss Nurse looked at me with a strange look, I was dumbfounded, my mind was full of clues, what was Miss Liuzhi thinking, and what did she want me to understand?

In this way, under the guarded gaze of the nurse lady, I came to the wild lily ward where Meijia was in a daze, and after knocking on the door, Meijia snorted unhappily from inside: "Annoying fold, I don't want to see you, you go." ”

Why are you the same......

I couldn't help but pat my forehead, completely confused, is it because I have been thinking too little recently, and my ability to figure out people's hearts has declined? Why can't I understand what they're thinking now?

……