The local movement was already in full swing, and the field army on the front line seemed to be calm. Li Yunlong's No. 1 commander should be stable, and no one dared to challenge his position as a military commander for a while. However, Li Yunlong's mood has become very bad, and there has been a lot of bad news in Beijing and other provinces, and many of his old comrades-in-arms have been insulted and criticized with big signs, especially the generals working in various headquarters and various branches of the armed forces in Beijing, and the old comrades-in-arms in the field armies are still uneventful. Li Yunlong was most worried about his old partner Zhao Gang, who worked in the General Staff Headquarters, and had heard that the General Staff Department was making a lot of trouble; although the central authorities had clearly stipulated that the military system would not carry out the "Cultural Revolution" movement for the time being, a large number of students from military academies and academies had already set up Red Guard organizations, and the destructive power of these half-military, half-civilian Red Guards who had received military training and wore military uniforms was obviously greater than that of ordinary Red Guards. Zhao Gang has not heard from him for a long time, and it is estimated that there is more luck than luck. Li Yunlong hung up the phone to Zhao Gang's house, but no one answered. Li Yunlong was anxious, and called an old comrade-in-arms who worked in the General Office of the Military Commission of Sanzamen, and the old comrade-in-arms lowered his voice and told Li Yunlong: Lao Zhao also had an accident.

In the small hall of the General Staff Building in Changqiao, Beijing, Zhao Gang was sitting in the audience to be criticized. At the end of 1965, after Luo Ruiqing, chief of the General Staff, was removed from his post and arrested, Zhao Gang was counted as a person on Luo Ruiqing's black line and was also suspended for inspection. Which of the generals who originally worked in the General Staff was not under the leadership of Luo Ruiqing, how could he not have anything to do with it? The smarter people turn the rudder in time, draw a clear line first, and then expose the old superiors, and then they can pass the test. The struggle within the party has always been like this, and it is no surprise that everyone has been tested by political struggle for a long time. However, Zhao Gang had his own opinions, and he was tired of this kind of endless intra-party struggle, and he felt deeply sad when he saw that some of his colleagues had fallen into the well one after another in order to keep their posts, and even searched for materials to confirm the anti-party behavior of the former general minister and his own political foresight. In essence, Zhao Gang is still an intellectual, and most of his life as a horse has not worn away his scholarly anger, and he must not be ambiguous about right and wrong. What he could not tolerate most was that the reality of many years of struggle within the party had taught him that the act of a despicable villain who politically framed others and attacked dissidents in order to achieve his own goals had developed a common practice in the party, which had violated his original intention of joining the revolution in the first place. Could it be that this revolution, to which he devoted his whole life, was in the end for the sake of this kind of boring dumping?

A leader who presided over the meeting reprimanded with hatred: "Zhao Gang, you are also considered an old qualification, one of the leaders of the '12.9' movement, he has never left the army since he was transferred to the Eighth Route Army, he has not been captured, his history is absolutely innocent, he has fought battles, shed blood, and has all his merits and hard work. But why are you so desperate? So many veteran comrades of the General Staff have made a review and drawn a clear line with Luo Ruiqing, haven't they all passed the test? Why are you so stubborn? What benefits did Luo Ruiqing give you? If you insist on making mistakes like this, do you still want to be a party member? Do you still want a position? Zhao Gang, listen, you have to express your position now, it is not okay not to speak. ”

Zhao Gang stood up, silently unbuttoned his military shirt and took off his military uniform, then took off his military hat and threw it on the table along with his military uniform, and just said lightly: "Since this party and this army are so loyal and traitorous, this party membership and position should not be distributed." As soon as Zhao Gang spoke, he was shocked, and the entire venue was silent for two minutes.

The leader who presided over the meeting thought that Zhao Gang's nerves were a little abnormal, and he was talking nonsense, he had never seen such a person who did not know the times. He pointed at Zhao Gang with his finger, and his hands trembled with anger: "Zhao Gang, what did you say?" Do you dare to say it again? ”

Zhao Gang said calmly: "Okay, I repeat, everyone listen, I, Zhao Gang, participated in the revolution in 1932, and since then, I have never thought about becoming an official in the future, I hate the autocracy and corruption of the Kuomintang government, and pursue the establishment of an equal, just, and free social system." If the revolution to which I have devoted my life turns out to be not in line with my original intentions, then what is the point of membership and office? Comrades, today may be the last time I will speak at such a high-level meeting, and I am afraid that I will not have such an opportunity in the future. There was silence at the venue, and the leader sitting on the stage nodded.

Zhao Gang said awe-inspiringly: "Comrades, I have often lost sleep lately, and in the dead of night, I often ask myself: Zhao Gang, where is the party and the army when you joined the revolution? I think of the relationship between comrades-in-arms in our army during the war, comrades, we are all from the past, think about it, I finally got a bite to eat, comrades-in-arms, you push me, no one wants to eat more. When you fight, you don't have to worry about getting hurt at all, because your comrades will never leave you. I, Zhao Gang, have survived to this day because more than one comrade-in-arms once blocked bullets for me, and they sacrificed, but I survived. Comrades, this is our army, and this is the life-and-death friendship between comrades-in-arms during the war years. But where is this tradition now? What the hell is wrong with our party and army? It is too dangerous to fight and frame, to fall into the well, and this will ruin our party and army. Comrades, let's all touch our consciences and think about it, do you really think that Chief Luo is an anti-party element? Do you think that you can only save yourself by falling into the well? You are wrong, and if this evil trend is not stopped, then each and every one of us will be a victim in the future. We are taking a detour in the USSR, and here I do not want to comment too much on anything, I just want to ask comrades to listen to some statistics of the Soviet purge campaign from 1936 to 1938. From 1919 to 1935, the Central Committee of the CPSU elected 31 members of the Politburo, 20 of whom died in political struggle. The 11th Congress of the CPSU in 1922 was Lenin's last party congress, and a total of 26 Politburo members were elected, 17 of whom were executed and exiled during the purge. As for the fate of the deputies to the 17th Congress of the CPSU and the 17th Central Committee, please note that there were 1,966 deputies to the 17th Congress of the CPSU, of whom 1,108 were arrested and executed for 'counter-revolutionary crimes'. Eighty per cent of these deputies were veteran members of the party before the October Revolution or during the civil war, and 60 per cent were workers' party members. Of the 139 members and alternate members of the Central Committee elected at the 17th Party Congress, nearly two-thirds of them will be arrested and executed. Now I will say a few more words about the suppression of rebellion in the Soviet Red Army. Of the five marshals who were awarded the title in the first batch, three were executed. They are Turkhachevsky, Blyukhel and Egorov. 13 out of 15 army commanders were executed, 85 out of 57 army commanders, and 110 out of 159 division commanders. Comrades, these statistics are shocking and bloody enough. What I want to say is that any political party may make mistakes in the course of its administration, and our Communist Party is no exception, and this is not terrible, but what is terrible is that the majority of its members and even high-ranking cadres are extremely numb to the concept of right and wrong and rationality, and even in order to maintain their own position, they add fuel to the fire and put their comrades-in-arms and comrades to death. History has proven this, and in the Soviet purge there were not many really commendable high-ranking cadres. Most of these executed members of the Central Committee and generals, most of whom were intimidated by Stalin's policy of terror and, in order to preserve themselves, actively participated in the bloody atrocities of killing their own comrades, and all justice, conscience and responsibility were thrown away like rags. Comrades, it turns out that it is not easy to live in the world even if you want to live with a clear conscience. When an extremely erroneous idea or crime has just emerged in the party, if all party members do not work together to nip it in the bud, then in the end it will harm others and yourself, because when you are harming others, you have already put yourself in a dangerous situation, and everyone has already thrown away justice and conscience like rags, who do you expect to save you? Comrades, if any of you here today is suddenly sent to prison on trumped-up charges one day in the future, please think about what I said today. ”

Zhao Gang sat down calmly after speaking, and he felt a complete relief. For many years, he has been living a cautious life, and he feels like a little daughter-in-law who has just passed through the door, and the main reason for this is that he thinks too much about things outside his body, party membership, position, many years of seniority and family. Sometimes he had to do something against his will, and he had enough of these days, and the extreme depression forced him to make a choice. Because at least for now, he doesn't see the possibility of changing that. The choice of "to live or to perish" that plagues Hamlet is also bothering Zhao Gang today. In Zhao Gang's view, the answer is clear. If there are conditions for survival, such as the loss of dignity and conscience, then he would rather not survive but choose destruction.

Several leaders sitting on the stage quickly exchanged glances, and the presiding officer of the meeting sighed and said: "Zhao Gang, after you gave such a speech, I'm afraid no one will be able to save you, you go back and wait for processing." ”

There was an uproar at the venue, and the crowd was indignant. Someone stood up and shouted angrily: "Shoot this counter-revolutionary!" ”

“…… What the fuck old revolutionary? It must be a Kuomintang spy ......"

"Down with the counter-revolutionary Zhao Gang......"

Zhao Gang was drinking water from a teacup, as soon as he heard these shouts, he stood up suddenly, and smashed the teacup in his hand to the ground with a "bang", he looked around the venue contemptuously, his eyes were full of anger and pity, his lips moved, but he didn't say anything, and turned around and walked away without looking back...... All the people in the venue, including the leaders on the stage, were stunned by Zhao Gang's tough actions, and the venue was silent.

When Li Yunlong learned what happened to Zhao Gang, his face turned pale, he didn't eat, drink, or say a word, and sat all night, as if his soul was out of his body. The next morning, he found that his hair had turned gray overnight, the surging passion was gone, and there was only cold disappointment in his heart.

The local "**" movement inevitably affected the troops, and there was a tendency for instability in the troops. A few propaganda officers in the army's propaganda department, who liked to shake the pen, could not hold back, and they joined up with some young officers to prepare to set up a rebel organization to carry out a large-scale criticism in the troops. The matter was reported to Li Yunlong, and without saying a word, he immediately ordered those Xiucai to be arrested and put in a confinement room.

Sun Tai'an said worriedly: "Lao Li, those guys will be locked up for two days, and there is no need to make a big fuss." I've heard that some people have sued you to the Central '**' group, saying that you are a big warlord who specializes in sabotaging the movement and holding the lid on the class struggle. ”

Li Yunlong said: "The army listens to the Central Military Commission, and no one tells me to listen to the Central Committee's ** group. Isn't that a group? How did it get to the head of the Politburo? You don't care, I'll just take care of it. Li Yunlong also felt a headache, and the entire front-line troops were becoming more and more unstable under the influence of the local fanatical political movement, and there was even an inexplicable mood for war. This is an old tradition in the army, and once it is driven by a political enthusiasm, there is no better action to show one's consciousness than to bite off one's fingers and write a letter of request. During the war years, this method was tried and tested again and again, so that the morale of the troops was always high, but now the situation is different, these snowflakes like war petitions, the content is very empty, and those cadres and fighters at the grassroots level all express with a simple class feeling that the great era has come, the battle for the complete elimination of imperialism, capitalism and modern revisionism is about to begin, and they are determined to do what they should in this great battle.

What made Li Yunlong laugh and cry the most was a letter of request and strategic plan handed over by a young operational staff officer. This operational staff officer put forward a strategic concept of attacking from all sides. He believed that since the Soviet Union became a revisionist state, the center of the world proletarian revolution has shifted southward. Under the current situation, China has irrefutably become the heart of the world proletarian revolution, and the burden of completely burying imperialism and modern revisionism has historically fallen on the shoulders of our generation of soldiers. The strategic concept was to preemptively destroy the air bases and naval bases of the Soviet Far Eastern Army on the Northern Front without declaring war on one Saturday night, to destroy the air bases and naval bases of the Soviet Far Eastern Force, to cut off the railway arteries in Siberia, to launch a fierce surprise attack on the Soviet Union from Manchuria, Erenhot, and other places, and to quickly encircle and annihilate the Soviet Far Eastern Forces, and to carry out a surprise attack on the Kazakh republics of the Soviet Union from the border passes of Khorgos, Alashankou, and other border passes in Xinjiang. The young staff officer foresaw that this Sino-Soviet Armageddon would take place in the Kursk region, that it would be an unprecedented tank Armageddon, that the battle would end with the annihilation of the heavy Soviet army, and that the occupation of Ukraine and Belarus would be just around the corner. The next thing is simple, the door to Western Europe is open, and our army can wave its army south, sweep away the capitalist countries of Europe, and drink the Mediterranean. The southern front strategy liberated the Jinmen, Matsu, and Penghu islands, landed in Taiwan, and the naval fleet went out of the South China Sea to attack Southeast Asia. The strategy on the Eastern Front was also simple: landing on Japan, obtaining a forward base for advancing into the Pacific Ocean, raiding the Hawaiian Islands, destroying the U.S. Pacific Fleet, gaining control of the Pacific Ocean, and landing on the U.S. West Coast. The final scene was exciting...... Bright red flags flutter over the dome of the White House. The toiling masses of the United States ate pot pulp to welcome the king, and all mankind was liberated......

Li Yunlong looked at it, and was amused, he found the staff officer, and humbly asked: "It's well written, I'm going to report to the Central Military Commission, but there is something unclear, what are you going to use to cross the Taiwan Strait and the Pacific Ocean?" Do you use ribs? ”

The staff officer was overjoyed, and said with his chest held high: "Report to the chief, as long as there are wooden sailboats, when our army crossed the Yangtze River and liberated Hainan Island, they used wooden sailboats, and our army's equipment is poor, but with the spirit of Mao's ideology and the support of the oppressed people all over the world, we will definitely win......"

Li Yunlong patiently heard this, and finally couldn't help but get angry: "I understand what's going on, you have nothing to do with a full meal, from tomorrow onwards, the ground in the headquarters building will be cleaned by you, not once, you have to sweep it three times from the first floor to the fourth floor, aren't you panicking?" Aren't you going to liberate all mankind? Good! Let's start by sweeping the floor. ”

A military staff officer came in and reported: "No. 1, Liang Jun of the special detachment asks to see me, you see ......"

Li Yunlong waved his hand and said, "Of course I will see him, let him in." ”

Liang Jun is the captain of the No. 1 Squadron of the Special Detachment, a cadre transferred from a certain military region when the detachment was formed, and has participated in all major operations of the special detachment. He was born as an industrial worker, and it stands to reason that he belongs to the cadres who are rooted in red seedlings, and there is no problem in political review. But recently, a rebel group in his hometown sent a letter to the troops, revealing that one of his uncles had served in the Kuomintang army and was designated as a historical counter-revolutionary. This is troublesome, there is a counter-revolutionary in the family, no matter what kind of red background you are, you can't work in the army, although the party's policy is "the theory of components" but not only the theory of components, but the emphasis is on political performance. That being said, this is just a placation for people who have been put into another book because of their bad background. The responsible persons of the organization departments and cadre departments of the party committees at all levels have a principle that they have mastered internally, and those who are not from a bad background are absolutely not allowed to go on to higher education, join the army, join the party, or be promoted to higher ranks. In the military, the implementation of this principle is even more unambiguous, and even some special services, such as air force pilots and garrison units guarding the capital, need to be checked for five generations and within the five uniforms, even if the cousin of your second uncle's brother-in-law has been in the Kuomintang army for half a year, it is also a sentence, and the political examination is not qualified. Liang Jun had a historical counter-revolutionary relative, and the cadres of the military region came to notify him and immediately asked Liang Jun to change jobs.

Liang Jun was wearing an old white-washed military uniform and did not wear a collar badge and cockade. He came to say goodbye to the commander, he thanked the commander for his kindness, and he also knew that the commander had done his best for his affairs, he didn't want to complain about anything, this is fate, who can you blame? He was just a little sad in his heart, he was used to being a professional soldier, and he didn't know what else he could do after leaving the army.

Liang Jun looked at the commander and said, "No. 1, I say goodbye to you." To be honest, I really can't bear to leave the army, this is my home. But...... No way, this is my life, I admit it. Number 1, what else do you have to instruct? His eyes were red.

Li Yunlong patted Liang Jun's shoulder with a complicated expression as if he had done something wrong, and he was speechless for a long time. He felt ashamed that every member of the special team was his treasure. Back then, it was Li Yunlong who transferred these vigorous warriors from all directions, but now, he has no ability to protect his own warriors. He wanted to say a few words of comfort, but he didn't say anything and felt that it was nonsense. Suddenly, a thought flashed through my mind like lightning: Damn, what are special forces? A small political trial regulation stumped the special forces? What else is that called?

Li Yunlong looked at Liang Jun intently and said, "It stands to reason that with the training you have received, you should not have been sent to the place, and if you don't get it right, there will be chaos." Alas, once a specially trained soldier gets rid of the shackles of military discipline, he is very likely to pose a danger to society, and once he endangers society, who can control you? I'm afraid that the police of the Public Security Bureau will not be able to do it, and a dozen or so people may not be able to subdue you, and if the local authorities can't control you, then the army will have to take care of it. In this way, don't go through the procedures for changing jobs first, go home and take a look at it first, contact the job, and then come back to go through the procedures when you have a unit to accept you. Remember, you have to do a good job when you get to the place, and you don't want to cause trouble. ”

Liang Jun's eyes lit up, and he seemed to understand something, he slammed his heels, straightened his chest and said: "No. 1, no matter where Liang Jun goes, he will never embarrass the chief, I remember your parting words." ”

Li Yunlong smiled slightly, blinked his eyes and said, "I don't seem to have said anything?" Okay, I'm ready to go, the army doesn't care for the elderly, I have to leave sooner or later, maybe one day, I will also take off my military uniform and go back to my hometown to farm. ”

The bright starlight seemed to be mixed with dew, becoming moist and soft, and the night sky was as blue as a sea, and the intermittent white broken clouds transformed into faint rivers floating on the dark blue sky. Li Yunlong and Tian Yu stood on the terrace, looking up at the night sky, and Li Yunlong found the bright North Star through the spoon handle of the Big Dipper. That's due north, and Beijing is in that direction. Li Yunlong smoked silently, looking preoccupied. Tian Yu suddenly burst into tears, she wiped her tears and said to herself: "Where are Zhao Gang and Feng Nan now, why don't they even have a letter?" ”

In the distant sky, in the vast Milky Way, a meteor suddenly pierced the night sky and disappeared into the depths of the universe, followed by another ...... Li Yunlong's heart moved, he threw away the cigarette butt suddenly, and looked at the place where the meteor disappeared in a daze, he had an ominous omen.

At this time, in the general building of a military agency in the western suburbs of Beijing, Zhao Gang and Feng Nan were sitting in each other's arms. Zhao Gang's face was covered with bruise-purple scars. He had a terrible laceration on his lip, revealing a mutilated tooth. At the daytime criticism meeting, Zhao Gang was dragged to the stage and ordered to kneel on the ground, he stubbornly stood upright, refusing to bend his waist, and was pressed to the ground by several rebel members, and he struggled to stand up. The people who took part in the criticism were furious, because such die-hard counter-revolutionaries were still rare, and they shouted the slogan: "If the enemy does not surrender, he will perish!" He rushed up and knocked Zhao Gang down on the stage. Unexpectedly, after a punch and kick, Zhao Gang stood up again. The rebels were mad, and they rushed up and beat them again, and so on and so forth, and so on, and so on, and so on, and so on, and finally the presiding officer of the criticism meeting saw that the impact was too bad, so he announced that the meeting was temporarily adjourned. Zhao Gang insisted on walking home step by step, and only collapsed after entering the door.

Feng Nan soaked her hand towel in warm water, wiped it gently for her husband, and comforted her mouth: "Lao Zhao, bear with me for a while, and I'll give you medicine again." ”

Zhao Gang smiled, patted his stomach with his hand and said, "What is this injury?" I was hit by a 9 mm bullet in the stomach, and all my internal organs were broken, this life was originally picked up, and I have lived for so many years, I have earned it. ”

Feng Nan leaned lightly on her husband and said, "Rest for a while and then go on the road, okay?" ”

"Are the kids arranged?"

"Don't worry, I've already arranged it. Li Yunlong is a warm-hearted person, and there is nothing to worry about when the children hand it over to him. You, who have been in the army for so many years, have been friends with each other for so many years, and there is only one old comrade-in-arms who has made friends with Li Yunlong. It's strange that a college student and a rude military man form a life-and-death friendship. ”

"War is the best glue, and my friendship with Lao Li is also quarrelsome. In 1938, when I had just been transferred to the Independent Regiment as a political commissar, Lao Li was sitting cross-legged on the kang and drinking, and when he saw me, he handed over the wine bottle without saying a word. I said thank you, I won't drink. Lao Li snorted with a gloomy face, and said Won't you drink what are you doing in the independent group? I was also not happy at the time, and replied to him: "The independent regiment is for war, and it is not for collecting wine bags and rice bags." The guy choked on that. I can see that he is a smooth donkey, and he is used to being the king and hegemon in this regiment, and I heard that the previous political commissars were squeezed out by him because they couldn't get to go with him. When I first arrived at the Independent Regiment, my work was very difficult, and Lao Li also made up his mind to squeeze me out, and I didn't have a good impression of him at that time, thinking that this person had a lot of problems, how could such a person be the head of the regiment? His characteristic is that he complains when he sees his superiors, and he has already carried out the order, and he has to nag a few words, as if he loses if he doesn't complain. It's even more disagreeable to subordinates, scolding when they open their mouths, using foul language, and sometimes beating people. But the strange thing is that this guy's prestige in the regiment is still very high, and the cadres and soldiers of the whole regiment respect him very much, and even worship him. At the time, I thought that this person was probably a little unique. Later, I participated in several battles of the Independent Regiment and realized that Lao Li was really a bit of a ghost when he started fighting, with a lot of ideas, good at reverse thinking, and never conformist. ”

At the mention of Li Yunlong, Zhao Gang, whose face was full of scars, immediately burst into flames: "I am far from Lao Li's character, he is a typical realist, but I am an idealist." Once these two types of people meet, collisions are inevitable. Lao Li was a very pragmatic person, he ridiculed theories and dismissed them as 'big truths' or 'dog skin plasters', while I was full of anger at that time and preferred to play with theories. ”

"I guess you became good friends later, mainly because you were also realistic and didn't play with theories anymore." Feng Nan said.

"Yes, the environment of war is too harsh for idealism to cope with this harsh reality. Frankly speaking, the independent regiment at that time could not win the battle as much as Zhao Gang, and if it were not for Li Yunlong, the independent regiment would not have survived even a month in the harsh environment of northwest Shanxi. Regarding this, I admire Lao Li very much and regard him as my teacher. ”

Feng Nan snuggled up to Zhao Gang and said, "I think, both of you are tragic figures. Zhao Gang, I am afraid that you will be an idealist until you die, and when you participated in the revolution, your purpose was very clear, that is, to be ready to sacrifice yourself for a certain ideal, and when reality violates your original intention, you have a sense of disillusionment. Because you are powerless to stop the development of reality, the helplessness and pain is very deep, and if you live with this pain, you will feel that life becomes meaningless. ”

Zhao Gang looked at Feng Nan with an extremely complicated eye, and sighed in his mouth: "We have lived for more than ten years, and you have always played the role of a gentle wife in front of me, almost making me ignore the other side of you, do you want to show your sword edge until the last moment?" It's really a late strike......"

Feng Nan showed a sad smile and said, "Character is fate. I have no power to change you, the only thing I can do is to be with you until I die. ”

Zhao Gang shed tears bitterly: "It's pointless for you to do this, this is deliberately indebted to my conscience, why don't you give me some free space?" Give me some options? ”

"Zhao Gang, do you know the Decembrists in Russia?"

"Of course, it was also a group of idealistic revolutionaries."

"I'm thinking about the Decembrists in Russia, I'm thinking about their wives, what a bunch of noble women. After the failure of the Decembrist uprising, they were exiled to Siberia by the Tsar, and their wives were faced with two choices: either they broke off their husbands and remained in St. Petersburg as nobles; Either they were deprived of their nobility and accompanied their husbands to Siberia for hard labor. These noble, effeminate women showed great courage and resolutely chose the latter. Dostoevsky was moved to tears, and he said: They abandoned all their aristocratic status, wealth, social and family, and sacrificed everything for the sake of high moral righteousness, for the sake of freedom. For 25 long years, innocent people have endured what their 'criminal husbands' have endured...... You see, more than a hundred years have passed, and in the minds of the people, those heroic Decembrists are not as perfect as the historical image of their wives. The wives of the Decembrists became a group, a symbol of heroism, and history remembers these great women. You know, if there is no you in this world, my life is meaningless, and the loneliness of my mind and the nostalgia for you will also kill me. Remember? When I first met you, I really knew what love at first sight is. Then I thought, thank God, this man was given to me by God's grace. ”

Zhao Gang gently hugged his wife and looked around the living room, after being raided, the living room was unrecognizable, the collection of books was torn into piles of waste paper, and Zhao Gang was wearing a dress and wearing the rank of major general. Zhao Gang smiled lightly: "Life is really like a dream......

"Tell me, back then, you threw your pen into Rong, threw yourself into a revolution, and after decades of conquest and killing, you ended up like this, do you regret it?" Feng Nan asked.

"I don't regret it, I did my duty as a Chinese, when the nation was in danger and the enemy was pressing, and it was impossible for any bloody Chinese to stay out of the matter." In the face of the aggressor, we did not disgrace the Chinese soldiers. As for the war that overthrew the rule of the Kuomintang, I am proud to have participated in that war. It was a dictatorial, unpopular, and corrupt government, and that government would not collapse without it. I fought in two wars in my life, did what I wanted to do, and have nothing to regret. I just feel sad, I think of those comrades-in-arms who sacrificed their lives to establish this regime, and I can't stand them when I think of them. From 1938, when I joined the Eighth Route Army, to 1949, when I was founded in New China, I changed 13 guards in the past 11 years, and they all died in front of my eyes, and most of them died to cover me. To this day, as soon as I close my eyes, those vivid faces appear in my mind, and I can accurately call out their names and clearly remember the order and place of their sacrifices. During the Huaihai Campaign, there were thousands of soldiers who died, and the corpses that had just been carried down from the line of fire and covered with white cloth were placed in the fields one by one, and they could not be counted. I saw with my own eyes a wounded man struggling desperately on a stretcher crying 'Put me down, I'm going back, we're all dead, I'm going to take revenge.'" An old man next to the stretcher cried and urged the stretcher: 'Hurry, hurry, this child is dying, hurry up, child, wait, you are almost at the hospital, you can't die this way.' At that time, I was already the deputy political commissar of the column, and I should have maintained a little image in front of my subordinates, but I was ...... I couldn't control my tears, and I couldn't even speak. These people who sacrificed their lives for their ideals, they thought that through their own sacrifices, they could buy a free and just society, but did their hope come true? ”

Speaking of this, Zhao Gang couldn't help but burst into tears, he wiped away his tears and said: "I think of Mr. Tian, 10 years ago, it was in this house that I had a heart-to-heart long talk with Mr. Tian, and now I think about it, Mr. Tian is really a rare wise man, and his vision can really see the future through the fog." Ten years ago, he feared a catastrophe for our nation, and now he is really unfortunate to be right. I understand that 'revolution' may be a neutral word. It can lead people to the light, or it can create human disasters in the name of revolution. Revolutions must conform to universal moral principles, i.e., the principles of humanity, and if they are indifferent or indifferent to individual lives, or even cause bloodshed and death for no reason, the so-called revolution is of a dubious nature, no matter how beautiful it may be. I now finally understand Gorky's cries: Let's make everyone more humane in these days of universal bestiality...... If you reject humanity and love and affection, you will not be able to become a revolutionary at all. Feng Nan, I don't have the ability to stop the spread of the disaster, but I have the ability to defend my dignity, and without dignity I would rather choose to die. ”

Feng Nan looked at Zhao Gang and said: "My initial impression of you Communists is that when the People's Liberation Army entered Shanghai, thousands of soldiers were sleeping on the streets, and even the door hole of my house was full. When I went out in the morning, I didn't see the soldiers lying on the ground, and I almost tripped over, but a young regiment commander saluted me and apologized vigorously, moving me to tears rolling in my eyes. The head of the regiment was twenty-seven or eighteen years old at most, handsome and dashing, really eloquent, as if well educated, and treated ladies with a bit of a gentleman's manner. At that time, I thought that the Communist Party is really a hidden dragon and a crouching tiger, and there are many talents. After more than 20 years of armed struggle, we can turn from weak to strong and lead the people to overthrow the Kuomintang government, and such a great revolution would not have been possible without the participation of many outstanding talents. Especially after meeting you, I was even more impressed. An excellent person like my husband is a member of the Communist Party, will this party still make mistakes when it is in power? I was naïve at the time. As a matter of fact, any political party can make mistakes, and from the perspective of a person outside the party, the biggest mistake made by this political party is that it has unconsciously carried out a reverse elimination of quality. Gradually, the outstanding figures in the party who have a sense of justice, who dare to resist the evil forces, and who put their lives on the line to ask for the lives of the people are eliminated, and in this way, disasters are inevitable. Am I right? "That's right, there are still excellent people, and they are constantly standing up. At least, I believe Li Yunlong is one. He's a tough guy, more courage than I am. Zhao Gang straightened up, but unexpectedly touched the wound, and he gasped in pain.

Feng Nan hugged her husband distressedly: "Don't move, sit quietly and rest for a while." ”

Zhao Gang closed his eyes, as if he had fallen asleep...... A wisp of thought mixed with a touch of sadness brought him back to Yan'an "Kang Da", where he had studied, he could not forget the Loess Plateau in northern Shaanxi, the undulating mountains were like waves that were solidified in an instant, the barren slopes lacking vegetation, and the scrawny old oxen dragging the ancient wooden plough, which seemed to be a high-pitched and desolate Xintianyou tune from outside the sky:

Lamb belly hand towel yo,

Three Dao Blue,

It's easy for us to meet each other,

It's hard to talk.

I can't see the mountain,

I can't see people,

I threw my tears in the sand penny.

…………

Ansai's waist drum is roaring in the sky, the white sheep's belly handkerchief is jumping in the yellow dust, the strong offspring of Suide, the handsome girl of Mizhi, the "Yellow River Cantata" in the gunsmoke, and the sonorous "March of the Big Knife...... Hundreds of thousands of field officers and soldiers sang in the Huaihai Plain, chasing up, catching up, not letting the enemy breathe, not letting the enemy run away...... On both sides of the Longhai line, hundreds of thousands of troops rolled up two frenzied tides, raised dust in the sky, and echoed north and south in a hulala, day and night, and swept away. The powerful Huang Baitao Corps was wiped out in an instant......

The festive fireworks are colorful, the artillery wagons on the military parade, the airplanes roar, the tank columns rumble over, and on the viewing platform, countless golden stars shine in the autumn sun...... This life is enough, the wind swept the sea, the waves were vertical and horizontal, the boaters were magnificent, and the great waves of life and death were not magnificent? The smoke and flames of war, the fight of a hundred battles, the joy of victory, the grief of the deceased friend, the cold face of the strong enemy, the beautiful scenery of the gentle countryside, the interweaving of joy and pain, the companionship of youth, friendship and love...... What more could you ask for in this life?

Zhao Gang opened his eyes, his eyes were shining, he patted Feng Nan's back, and said softly: "Hey, it's time for the Decembrists to hit the road, dawn is a good time to hit the road." ”

Feng Nan was already in tears at this time, she hugged Zhao Gang violently and cried bitterly: "Zhao Gang, I'm afraid, this is a piece of my heart, I'm just afraid that when our body disappears, my soul will also drift away, without you, I'm too lonely." ”

Zhao Gang smiled and said, "Don't worry, I will hold you tightly, you can't run away if you want to." ”

Feng Nan wiped away her tears and a childlike smile appeared on her face, "Really? You have to talk and count, and reassure me. She gently helped Zhao Gang up and said, "Okay, my dear Decembrists, we are going to Siberia in the snowy ......."