I am short of money, I need to make money, I need to make a lot of money, at least 100,000 yuan, because I need to have surgery, to be my true self, and I don't want to delay another seven or eight years to fulfill this wish.

And by writing a book, it is impossible at my speed of codewords, not to mention that this book has a collection of less than 4,500, and it is estimated that it will not earn 200 yuan a month after it is put on the shelves.

Two days ago, a channel to make money suddenly appeared in front of me, and after some struggle, I still couldn't resist the temptation of money, and decided to step into this path that would make me fall.

You may say it's not worth it, but for me, it's all about getting rid of it.

I'm not a real girl, but a medicine girl, a medicine lady who has been taking medicine since she was 12 years old, and has been taking medicine for almost eight years, at that time, in order to buy money for medicine, I deceived my grandparents, parents-in-law and parents, and stole my parents' money, I couldn't cheat the money, so I asked my classmates to borrow it, naturally I had no money to pay it back, I couldn't borrow money, I mixed with a bunch of gangster students, to steal other people's batteries, in short, all kinds of ways to get money.

When I was in the third year of junior high school, my parents finally noticed the changes in me and found the medicine I had hidden in the cupboard, so they threw all the medicine away for me and forced me not to take it again.

My father, who was a traditional stubborn man and had a violent temper, began to beat and scold me, and beat me with an iron rod, and if it weren't for my brother coming home, I would have been beaten to death.

After graduating from junior high school, I left home as soon as I got my ID card, I didn't want to stay in such a home, I wanted to fulfill my wish.

You should think I'm very selfish and unfilial, in fact, I also think so, my parents raised me to grow up, but I can't meet a wish, maybe this wish is sneering at everyone, it's a perverted thought that should be there, but for a woman who has had a heart since I was a child, this is all I live in this world.

My brother is the only one in the family who supports me, and my mother must understand me, but she won't disobey my father.

At that time, my brother had only been in the society for a year, and he had no money to support me in the first two months of my absence, and I am very grateful to him.

After coming out, I worked as a waiter for KTV, also distributed flyers, and also worked as a waiter in a hotel, no way, semi-literate people who graduated from junior high school can only choose such a job, but even if it is such a job, my body can't bear it, because of taking medicine, my physical strength is very poor, and my strength is also very small, and I will feel very tired when I walk ten meters with 20 pounds of things, let alone climb the stairs.

I've had two boyfriends.,The first one I met when I was a waiter at KTV.,It's purely a scumbag.,Because I didn't want to do that with him.,So I left.,Well, I never told him the identity of my boy.,If he knew,I don't know what I'd think.。

The second is a boy in the same city I met in the medicine lady post bar.,It should be called a man.,He was 25 years old at the time.,We chatted online for two months.,He proposed to meet.,Okay,Actually, I've wanted to meet for a long time.,It's better to be a girl or be a little reserved.,Although it's a fake woman.。

That night we confirmed the relationship, he was very nice to me, responsive, he said let me quit, he will support me, well, this proposal is in my arms, forgive me for being lazy at the time, because of the medicine, I not only have poor physical strength, but also often lose concentration, my mind is messy, and I don't know what I think at the end of the day.

We lived together, and in my nest, I somehow agreed to move in with him, maybe because he raised me.

On the first night, I fell, yes, it's what you think, I didn't want to do it, but I'm afraid that he will regret it, is this a betrayal of his body? I don't think so, but I love him too, and it sounds like I'm making excuses for myself.

In order to reduce the damage of the drug, I chose to do trend surgery, that is, to cut eggs, not caterpillars, after all, caterpillars are still used for **.

The 8,000 yuan for the operation was all paid by him, and I was in pain for more than half a month when I took off the balls, and he took care of me for half a month, but after I got better, he left, leaving a note and 3,000 yuan.

At that time, I felt like the sky was falling, and he was my only support, but he left suddenly, so suddenly, there was no sign before, maybe there was, maybe he was patronizing the pain of the trend and ignored it.

Although I haven't been with him for a long time, I really love him, and losing him for a while made me want to leave this world.

Maybe it's because the desire to die hasn't reached the upper limit, but I'm still holding back, okay, I admit that I'm afraid of death, I still have a wish that hasn't been fulfilled, and I don't want to leave the world with this disgusting body, even if I die, I want to leave as a girl, not a monster who is neither male nor female.

He left, naturally he had to look for a job again, it was impossible for my brother to support me, I was raised by my boyfriend for a few months, and I became more lazy, don't think about the waiter or anything, I can only find other jobs, so I started a promotion, I wrote about this in my first book, in fact, it is also my personal experience, but it is not as successful as in the book, but a failure.

Capricorn me is a stuffy gourd by nature, and I am also very shy, embarrassed to shout loudly, and always feel very embarrassed.

Naturally, this job was soon gone, and then I found a lot of companies, but I was reluctant to ask for me, because for more than two years, my ID card and myself are very different, because I used to study to keep boys' hair, and then I didn't study, so I naturally began to grow hair, so my ID card and myself are very different.

Reality is not a novel, during the interview, when the other party looked at the gender on the form, and then looked at me, his eyes were very complicated, at first surprised to curious, and then to explore, it was obviously a job interview, but the topic became my identity, and finally he didn't want me.

After many interviews, I finally found a company that was willing to take me in, which is a fairly good online shopping mall for online sales, selling cosmetics, and doing it until now.

Most of the monthly salaries are more than 3,000 and less than 4,000, and I have been working for two years, which is really miserable.

Seeing colleagues with good performance who have appeared several times a month with 7,000, 8,000, and more than 10,000, I am also very envious and a little jealous.

Although the manager didn't tell them my gender, I told them anyway, and every person who came to talk to me would clearly tell him that my colleagues were okay with me, they all expressed understanding, and they didn't act too repulsive, and I also made a girlfriend in the company.

Two months ago, the manager asked me to come to his office and put an Apple 8 in front of me.

However, he didn't ask me to be his girlfriend, because he had a family and children, but to be his lover, and he gave me 3,000 yuan privately every month.

I struggled in my heart, but in the end I agreed, because money is so important to me, I spend a lot, the medicine alone costs nearly 700 yuan a month, I have to save money for surgery, but every month's salary, I save money every day, and I only save about 1,000 yuan, so I have to work like this for ten years to be possible.

And promised him that I could shorten it to three or four years, and exchange my body for time, whether it is worth it or not, I think everyone has their own different opinions.

But for me, time is of the essence, and every day I live in this disgusting body makes me feel extremely uncomfortable, and if I think about it, if a man grows a pair of breasts or a woman grows a little dingding, I think you can understand my feelings.

I rarely used to be on Q and WeChat, but since I established a group for this book, I chatted with book friends, and it felt pretty good, so I joined a medicine girl group.

Most of the medicine girls in the group are sightseeing groups, that is, men who are curious about medicine girls, and a few are real medicine girls.

The group of medicine girls is very complicated, there are transsexuals like me, I have thought I am a girl since I was a child, there are also some curious sightseeing group straight men overturned, and there are some people who feel too tired to be a man, escaping reality and want to take medicine to become a woman, but more of them are some CD overturned, what does CD mean, I won't explain, check it on the Internet yourself.

There are also some parties in the medicine girl, such as the parent party, the talent party, the age party, etc., and I belong to the age party plus the talent party, a little shameless, but I just like stinky beauty.

Although I was lucky to occupy two of them, I was also envious of the patriarchal party, if my father could be so open-minded, how could I embark on such a path.

Well, I admit that I resent my father, and that I deserved all this pain, but I just couldn't stop resenting it in my heart.

I called back for the New Year's holiday, and after a few words, it shifted to my identity, so it was another quarrel, and I couldn't communicate at all.

Actually, I should go back and communicate well, if I don't go home for a few years, no matter which parents will be angry, but I don't dare, I'm afraid that my father will beat me with an iron rod again, and then force me to cut off my hair, these must not happen.

A few days ago, I added a CD group, a lot of women's clothing bosses, and some women's clothing bosses look really beautiful, but even if they are beautiful, they can still see some traces of men.

Someone sent me a private chat and asked me if I was a CD, I said no, and told him the identity of the medicine lady, so he said he wanted to see the photo, I sent a flash photo over, and chatted for a while, he suddenly asked me if I was doing help~ handover.

I wanted to refuse directly, but I still replied very cheaply, two thousand, this is the price he gave me, and from this moment on, I have become a commodity, and I can get two thousand at a time, which is much better than the manager.

I didn't say yes right away, because I knew very well that if I went down this path, I would have a second and a third time...... Make yourself dirty.

But I need money, and embarking on this path will allow me to save a few more years, and I can earn enough money for surgery in just half a year.

I'm still very confident in my appearance, I posted some photos in the CD group, and sure enough, there were more than a dozen private chats with me at once, I didn't talk to them blindly, just straight to the point.

I've been thinking about whether to do it or not for the past two days, and I'm also very entangled in my heart, I don't want to fall like this, but I don't want to live in this disgusted shell.

I told me about it in the book group, and I am very grateful for persuading my book friends and telling me a lot, but I'm still sorry, and I finally decided to go down this path and disappointed everyone.

I need money, my brother is building a house, and my father will definitely have to pay for it, even if my father agrees to my surgery, I have to earn the money for the operation.

I don't need to do any more cosmetic surgery, because I don't have any traces of men on my appearance, as long as I have lower body surgery, as long as 70,000 or 80,000, plus post-operative conditioning, it will not exceed 100,000.

100,000 may not be a lot of money in the eyes of many people, and it is not worth it to do such a shameful thing in order to earn this money.

But 100,000 is a lot of money for me, so big that it will take years to complete.

I don't have a diploma, I don't have a business acumen, my physique is not good, even if I work hard for almost two years, I can't go up and down, I feel like I'm really useless, except for depravity, I don't know what else can make me make money quickly.

Someone suggested that being an anchor, like Xuanmo Baby, I thought, but the anchor is not so easy to do, it is basic to be able to speak, and there are various teams behind it to build together to succeed, and those anchors who earn tens of thousands of dollars a month are always only a small part.

As a Capricorn stuffy gourd, in addition to being active on the Internet, let me show my head in front of a bunch of people, I don't feel like I can say anything nutritious.

That's it.,If you still want to know something.,Just add me to the Q group.。

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