Chen Mo: "6. Grandpa picked up the wrong grandson in kindergarten, led him to the market and went to the hospital for an injection. ”

"Hahahaha...... This grandson is really unlucky to be home! ”

"This shot was in vain!"

"Grandpa is confused, and his grandson can't say it!"

"Grandpa, grandpa, the grandson you picked up is not your own grandson!!"

Chen Mo: "7. The man stabbed the woman 60 times in a row and was still forgiven, and the two sides promised to grow old. ”

"This ......"

"Is this true?"

"There are so many slots that I don't know where to start......

"It's really not a family, don't enter a family, I hope these two people will always be together, and stop harming others."

Chen Mo: "8. Two men who didn't know each other clashed in a restaurant and rushed to settle the bill, one was injured and two were detained. ”

"The more I look at it, the more I feel that it is not a real thing, but one hundred degrees...... It's true. ”

"Some people in reality are more exaggerated and brainless than usual."

"What do you mean these people are drawing? And for what? ”

"Face! Do you still need to ask? ”

Chen Mo: "9. The prisoner with obsessive-compulsive disorder was sentenced to 9 years and 8 months, and appealed in court to request a sentence of 10 years. ”

"Nima, OCD can't afford to hurt !!"

"The first time I've heard about it, there are ...... who want to be sentenced more"

"The judge is also very skinny."

"Pi said happily!"

Chen Mo: "Shanghai cracked the gold speculation network fraud case, and only one of the more than 50 people in the group is not a liar. ”

"Trembling...... The sheep are in the wolves! ”

"What a miserable guy that is!"

"I am remembered by so many people every day......

Chen Mo: "After my younger brother was cheated of 1,000 yuan, my sister searched for 'what to do' on the Internet and was defrauded of 10,000 yuan. ”

"Poofhahahaha......"

"No need to ask, my sister must use Baidu!"

"I was a little unwell before, and I checked it with Baidu, and it almost made me depressed."

"If you are sick, don't use Baidu to check...... I'll find out what's wrong with you! ”

Chen Mo: "My wife cheated, and the Jiangsu man gave his rival more than 200,000 'tuition' to learn the trick of chasing his wife. ”

"This ......"

"When the green is over, do you still want to give money to others?"

"Qingqi's brain circuit!"

"No, it's too sandy! I don't complain about some sand sculptures of people on the Internet anymore...... Reality is more than sand sculptures......"

Chen Mo: "A 23-year-old guy in Guizhou reported that his 44-year-old girlfriend and his 70-year-old rival were selling X for prostitution X, and he was detained for reporting false police. ”

"Wait...... 44-year-old girlfriend ...... Rivals in their 70s? ”

"This 23-year-old guy is a bit fierce!"

"A woman sucks soil at forty, sucks a 23-year-old guy, sucks a 70-year-old man, the ancients don't deceive me!"

"The key guy is not only heavy on taste, but also sassy in operation!"

Chen Mo: "An old man in Chongqing pretended to be sick and fainted, and the judge told a series of jokes to wake him up. ”

"On the benefits of having a high laugh."

"Judge: Flicker, flicker!"

"Judge: Sample, Lao Tzu used to sing two-person turns!"

"It's not easy to be an old man!"

Chen Mo: "There was a fraud case in the Shanghai Pigeon Competition, and the top four won the race by high-speed rail. ”

"See, Lao Tzu's pigeon speed is comparable to that of a high-speed train!"

"Why are these people's brain circuits so strange...... How could I not have thought of it? ”

"So you didn't get caught, Lao Tie!"

Chen Mo: "A man in Chongqing fell into a deep pit looking for a dog at night and found that the dog was also in the pit. ”

"Rub!"

"The master and servant are together!"

"Dog: Here comes my brother!"

"These two are a family, and the identification is complete."

The dog smiled! I thought, what a stupid dog to fix Kim Sama! ”

Chen Mo: "The woman went to the police station to check whether she was a fugitive, and the police checked if she was a fugitive." ”

"Isn't it that the fugitive himself doesn't have a little bit of a b-number in his heart?"

"What an eye-opener! The world is full of wonders! ”

"Really, if it's not the sand sculpture news of the hanging king, I can't believe that there are so many brains in the world."

"Hahaha...... The police found out that he was really a fugitive...... I with laughter instantly! ”

Chen Mo: "Fugitives pick up friends who are happily released from prison, and they throw themselves into the net outside the detention center. ”

"This guy has about the same IQ as the woman in the last news...... are less than 5 ......."

"Knowing that you are a fugitive, how dare you go to the detention center?"

"I can't complain anymore......"

Chen Mo: "The man in the United States called the police and said that he was being followed by a pig, and when the police arrived at the scene, they found that it was true. ”

"You never know what stalking me is."

"I'm not afraid of your jokes, I've been stalked by chickens."

"When I was a kid, I was chased three streets by dogs!"

Chen Mo: "The young girl stole the safe and stole 2 million IOUs, police: The safe is too big, she rested several times. ”

"The world is not worth it!"

"The moment I opened the safe, the girl's heart collapsed."

"Well, if this girl takes the IOU to collect debts, it is a real sand sculpture!"

Chen Mo: "The Heilongjiang man injured his right leg, and he turned over on the operating table and had 14 stitches on his left leg. ”

"Turn you over! I'll roll you over! ”

"What about when the operating table is your own bed? If you want to turn over, turn over......"

"Well, it's okay now, the left leg still has to be re-sewn, and the stitches on the right leg still cost money."

Chen Mo: "The man mistakenly thought that he had won the 5 million grand prize and spent a lot of money to entertain him, and after waking up, he jumped off the building and committed suicide and was rescued and cried. ”

"Big brother, you started to waste before the money arrived?"

"Daydreaming, this is!"

"How much did you spend on a treat?"

Chen Mo: "The father taught his son to steal a car on the spot: worried that he would have no food to eat, let him learn a craft." ”

"Real Grand Theft Auto!"

"It's good for a son to inherit his father's business."

"It's also a craft......

"Son: It's great, the prison food is so delicious!"

Chen Mo: "A student in Shenzhen liked to carry a new car to visit the coach and crashed into the office of the driving school. ”

"This car has been learned in vain!"

"This news is too real......"

"I'm afraid it's a female driver!"

Chen Mo: "The man calmly went to the bank to withdraw 1.9 billion in cash: the certificate of deposit was bought in yuan. ”

"Hmm...... T ...... 166 yuan to buy a certificate of deposit, you want to withdraw 1900 million ...... from the bank"

"Do you know how much cash you have in the bank? If you open your mouth, it's 19 billion! ”

"This transaction is worth 166 yuan, take 19 billion!"

Chen Mo: "The woman was deceived into online shopping and angrily looked for a 'hacker' to catch the scammer, but she was defrauded of 70,000 yuan. ”

"In the end, it turned out that the hacker and the scammer were the same person."

"This IQ is basically goodbye to online shopping."

"Why bother......"

Chen Mo: "The fugitive wore a mask and went into the court to observe the trial of the same case: I want to see what the sentence will be." ”

"This kind of fearless spirit of learning is worth learning from all fugitives!"

"Have a fight with the buddy who went to the detention center to pick up his partner!"

"Fugitives: The most dangerous place is the safest place!"

Chen Mo: "Aunt Shaoxing caught the thief and called the police, and the police checked that the aunt was also a thief." ”

"It's the same root, why is it too anxious!"

"This is a fellow meeting a fellow countryman, with tears in his eyes!"

"This aunt also doesn't have a bit of a B number in her heart!"

Chen Mo: "The man was arrested for stealing 4 times: stealing things to verify whether the police are fast enough to arrest people." ”

"Then my robbery can be better verified?"

"Kudos to this buddy's spirit of verification!"

"Ask for the verification results!"

Chen Mo: "The man picked up 5,000 yuan and handed it over to the police for praise, only to find out that the money was his own when he got home." ”

"Poofhahahaha...... I really can't help this news! ”

"For praise, this man is also fighting!"

"If I go back, I guess I'll be beaten to death by my wife!"

"I'm embarrassed to come back, right?"

Chen Mo: "The Henan man thought his wife was too nagging, so he deliberately drove drunk to the police station and begged to be detained. ”

"This man's wife is a little watering can......"

"Fear of the mouth! I'm afraid that my husband will spray like this! ”

Chen Mo: "The fugitive was curious to watch the police's legal propaganda and found that the protagonist of the case turned out to be himself. ”

"Poof...... The fugitives are three times in a row! ”

"Now the fugitives can already make their debut in a group!"

"It's embarrassing!"

"Policeman: Brother, why are you here again?"

Chen Mo: "A man in Hangzhou quarreled with his wife, and sneaked into a neighbor's house to touch a sleeping guy after drinking. ”

"Damn, this guy can do it!"

"Why did you suddenly gay?"

"Man: I'm going to !! them all I'm going to !! men, too ”

Chen Mo: "When a Beijing college student returned home across 8,000 miles, he saw only one piece of ruins: he didn't tell him about the family move. ”

"People are coming, but the home is gone."

"This buddy's parents also have a big heart."

"Parents: What is a son? Let's just have a good time! ”

Chen Mo: "A thief in Nanjing stole ham for 34 consecutive years, and Nian Nian was arrested and sentenced to ten years in prison. ”

"How good is this ham?"

"For 34 years, I stole ham every year and was caught every year...... I think I can give him the Most Lasting Man Award! ”

"It's so good to hold on!"

Chen Mo: "Guangdong men are under a lot of pressure after marriage, men disguise themselves as women to sell X, and the prostitutes vomit on the spot after learning the truth. ”

"I'm rubbing, but someone is really going to buy it?"

"That prostitute is also very powerful, can't you feel it?"

"What a women's clothing boss!"

Chen Mo: "I have been in love for many years and found that my girlfriend is my aunt, and the marriage registration office: you can get married, but it is recommended to have a marriage inspection." ”

"This Nima ......"

"My own female ticket is my aunt...... Is that you? ”

"How big is this heart?"

Chen Mo: "The boy scored 7 points in the test, and his father set off fireworks to celebrate: he used to score 0 points in the test. ”

"7 points is a lot of improvement!"

"Going from 0 to 7 is a historic improvement!"

"It's amazing, I actually scored 7 points! I've never scored so high! ”

Chen Mo: "A man in Sichuan couldn't stand the noise retaliation from his neighbors, so he went to Pakistan to buy a gun and was arrested. ”

"Grumpy old brother!"

"It's good that Huaxia's firearms control is good!"

"Running so far...... Isn't it over with a beating? ”

Chen Mo took a sip of tea and continued:

"The last sand sculpture news!

Yi Yang Qianxi is coming to the Chinese Academy of Sciences, and the majority of fans are waiting for the results to come to Yang Qianxi. ”

"Poofhahahaha......"

"Yi Yang Qianxi...... Yang Qianxi ...... Well, almost! Just one word! ”

"Are the fans illiterate?"

"It is estimated that the brain is hot, and all the brains are coming."

Chen Mo:

"Well, the 2018 "Sand Sculpture News" column is also over!

It's not easy to collect such a little sand sculpture news this year.

If you want to see it, it's estimated that it's going to be next year, and maybe next year this column won't be the king.

Let's watch and cherish it!

Well, the previous "Sand Sculpture Solitaire" was cut, but the rule of giving away a hundred skins at a time can't be broken.

This time, there will be a barrage lottery, and all of them will be distributed to everyone for free!

If you want, deduct 1!! ”

“11111111111！！！”

“111111！！！”

"I'm crazy 1!!!"

“……“

As soon as I heard about it, I drew the Demon God's Punishment skin for free.

All sailors are crazy!

The barrage was dense, almost like a blank sheet of paper directly covering the live broadcast screen!

Even Douyu's server is down because of too many barrages.

Wait until the skin is pumped.

Chen Mo shook his eyebrows and said in a cheap tone:

"It's time for Your Moon My Heart again!

Welcome to your moon my heart, a good man is me, I am ...... Little silent!

If you have any emotional or life problems, you can consult me!

Okay, now let's connect the first lucky water friend at random! ”

Doodoo ......

It's probably been a long time since I've connected to the microphone.

This time, the microphone connection went unusually well.

"Hello Hangwang, my surname is Liu, you can call me Lao Liu."

The man surnamed Liu, who was obviously older than Chen Mo, said.

Chen Mo: "Hello Lao Liu, do you have any emotional or life problems?" ”

"Yes!"

Lao Liu sighed and said:

"Hang the king, actually, I'm in a long-distance relationship, and my girlfriend who has been with me for a long time has been a little bit unbearable recently.

It's been too long to see each other once.

But because I've been talking for six years and I'm reluctant to break up, what do you think I should do? ”

Chen Mo thought for a while, and first asked:

"Lao Liu, how is your economic environment?"

Lao Liu said: "It's good, it's a little rich, anyway, I have a garage, no loan, and a salary of 20,000 yuan a month."

My parents don't need me to support them. ”

", local tyrant, !!"

"There are RVs alone, and you can kill a large number of people in seconds without a loan!"

"There is no garage, and I am full of cows in the salary of the moonlight."

“……”

Chen Mo nodded and said seriously:

"This condition of yours reminds me of a story."

"It is said that one day, a certain child in Niujia Village, whose parents died very early, lived with his brother and sister-in-law.

The sister-in-law deserved to take on the negative role in the story, giving the child nine cows, saying that you go and put ten cows and come back.

It's clear that bullying people.

But the child, that is, the cowherd, he thought, I can go home with a cow, simple.

Just went out there is an uncle who is nosy, and he has to help the cowherd, saying that there is an old cow at the foot of the mountain, and if you go to save it, you can take it home, you see that your sister-in-law must not be mad.

The cowherd looked over and saw that there was really an old cow lying there.

The cowherd is an honest child, squatting on the side to feed the cow for three days, the cow said that he is a fairy, but there are injuries on his body, how to treat it, all kinds of home remedies.

The cowherd helped it treat the disease according to the home remedies, stayed with the cow for a week, and really went home with ten cows.

This also leads to the later Tanabata story.

When the cowherd grows up and can get married, Lao Niu said, you should also get married, you think about it.

The cowherd said, I'm too poor, my family has no money, I can't afford to get married, so I don't think about it.

Lao Niu said, a female colleague of mine came down to take a bath, we might as well ...... But you have to be careful of her mother's family, they are mixed with society, but it's bad.

The cowherd said, then can I afford to mess with it?

Lao Niu said, I'll be honest with you, maybe you two will only see each other once a year in the future.

The Cowherd said, that's sad.

Lao Niu said, there is a little sadness, but the girl is a fairy, and most people have never seen it, so you should be content. ”

When he said this, Chen Mo paused.

Lao Liu suddenly realized and said:

"I know what you mean.

The girl has been talking to me for six years, I should be content, I shouldn't give up so quickly, right? ”

The sailors were also a little moved.

"The hanging king has finally changed!"

"It's not scientific, the hanging king who has always persuaded and not persuaded to cooperate, how can he use the story of the Cowherd and the Weaver Girl to fool Lao Liu today?"

"It's not easy to have a long-distance relationship, but it's good to do it and cherish it, and persuade it occasionally."

"yes, if you can get this far, just grit your teeth and continue!"

Just when Lao Liu and the sailors thought that this time was a persuasion.

Chen Mo shook his head and chuckled:

The cowherd patted his head, suddenly realized, tied up the talking strange cow, and sold it to the circus at a high price.

Since then, the cowherd has lived a happy life on the local rich side, with three wives and four concubines.

”

Lao Liu: "......"

All sailors: "......"

Quiet!

There was silence on the other end of the microphone and in the live broadcast room!

A full ten seconds later.

All exploded!

"!!"

"God sells it to the circus!!"

"I thought you had changed your mind, but it turned out to be ...... You're still the tireless king of destruction! ”

“2333333”

"I Believe in Your Evil !!"

I thought this was the romantic story of the Cowherd waiting for the Weaver Girl, and then meeting at the Magpie Bridge once a year.

Outcome......

As soon as Chen Mo's words changed, the style of the story changed!

Everyone seemed to see a big gold chain thick short mink in front of their eyes, and they had a small barbecue three times a day.

Wearing sunglasses.

A cowherd with five or six bewitching women around him.

Eat and drink in the sea, all kinds of waves.

Completely subverted the cowherd in everyone's mind?

What about the festival?

Okay, what about the story of the Cowherd and the Weaver Girl?

Chen Mo said casually:

This story teaches us that you don't have to fight yourself.

Since the two can't be together, why torture each other anymore?

And, how do you know your girlfriend doesn't want to be separated?

Maybe there are better options in the field!

Your conditions are so good, wouldn't it be better to find someone close to home who can be with you? ”

Lao Liu: "That's what I said!"

Actually, my girlfriend also said before that she wanted to break up, but I kept dragging others.

Taking advantage of this opportunity, I called Xiaoli.

Let her be relieved! ”

As he spoke, Lao Liu over there took out another mobile phone and called Xiaoli live.

As a result, as soon as the phone was connected, Lao Liu hadn't spoken yet.

Bang Bang Bang ......

A sound of flesh colliding!

Xiao Li asked intermittently in her voice:

"Old ...... Lao Liu...... Well...... What's the matter?

Yes...... I...... What about my running......"

(ps: This chapter is a three-in-one chapter, so I won't disassemble it...... I found that now I can write it in one go, which is faster than dismantling and developing! ）