There was a big guy who commented on my novel:

Big guy: Let's talk about a few points, first of all, your pen power has really improved, and it's almost okay if you have this pen power in the online article. Second, I learned the routine, it's good to pretend to be forced to slap my childhood sweetheart in the face, the routine is the template, although it's very old, but it's good to use it to practice.

And then there's the shortcomings.,First,Introduction to the world view.,What is your world like?,It's a novice village portal.,And the school teacher.。 In the end, this world is magical, or is it a modern world of demonic invasion or something.

Second, there is a lack of necessary depictions, the area where the protagonist lives, the situation of the family, and what kind of school it is, all of which are descriptions of the protagonist's personal environment with a rich worldview.

And what kind of sixth-order weapon, you don't blow it, how do I know how awesome it is. For example, before the protagonist of the other world buys weapons with gold coins, he will also use copper coins in the morning to buy baked cakes to compare.

The above is the biggest problem.,As for the small problems, there are a lot of them.,But you can take your time.,Anyway, if someone watches it in the future.,You'll be scolded.,And then you'll slowly learn the motivation of the task.,The rationality of the plot or something.。

This book can be revised to be longer, so don't lose it. The type of your book, I recommend three template books to you, you slowly compare and read it yourself, and if you don't have time to read it, you have to read at least the first 100 chapters, and remember to read each one.

"Master of Firearms", "Ghost Swordsman", "Full-time Mage".

So I'll read the book first and make up for it next time.

"Full-time Sword Soul" Chapter 8 I'm sorry I'm hitting it in my hand, please wait a while,

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