Recently, my mentality has been so affected that today I took a good look at myself.

I found that my girlish heart was so overflowing that I broke down at first, and I had begun to transform into a little girl.

Or rather, the transformation has been successful.

Recently, I found that I couldn't stand the grievances anymore, even the slightest bit.

I also found that as long as I was alone, I felt like I was abandoned, and I was afraid that no one would pay attention to me, especially those who, who didn't point it out, and I would definitely understand when I saw them.

There are also a few friends in the group who often play games together.

As long as I'm not there, I'll think, I've been abandoned by them, right? Did they do it on purpose? Or rather, it was done on purpose.

So I started to be jealous, I started to feel heartache, I started to be unhappy, I started to be sad.

But I know it's not.

Because I can't play games all day by myself, it's normal not to take me with me.

But I just can't control myself, I want to be sad, unhappy, jealous, jealous.

And today, because of some little things, she said she wanted me to kick her for this.

I was very sad to hear it, because I thought she was very important, very important, and I cried afterwards.

But I don't know what she thinks of me, maybe I'm being sentimental.

But there's only one reason why I'm like this, because of this book.

Maybe I was too involved in the role, so it led to a complete change in my mentality, just like Xiaoxi.

But Xiaoxi is much better than me, she has a sister to comfort, she can be coquettish, and she can be willful.

What about me? To whom should I be spoiled, and to whom should I be willful?

So now I'm very confused.

I'm very confused about myself, what should I do, I have thought about eunuchs, or I won't write it, and I'll just be a hundred.

But I don't really want eunuchs, because most of the books I write are to my liking.

I really want to finish this book, although the results are very poor, and the average order is not much, it is only worth a hundred.

But I really wanted to finish the book.

What am I going to do?

I found that my own mental adjustment was no longer working.

In addition, there are not many people who ignore me in the group.

So after they played the game, I felt like I was really abandoned.

It's sad, it's sad, it's heartache, it's uncomfortable.

Today's update was written in this context, including this one.

I've been tormenting that pain, and this is the first time I've been suffering.

I couldn't get out.

In the future, I didn't understand what I should do.

Keep writing? But what will my mindset look like then? Evolve into a more girly girl mentality?

Or is it a blast? Or is it a complete collapse because of some jealousy?

I do not know.

What am I going to do?

What exactly should I do?

How do I decide?

How do I make adjustments?

I still don't know.

I really want to cry, I want to cry a lot.

But who am I crying to?

And no one can.

I'm like a clown, and even if I fall, I still have to force a smile.

I have to endure it silently.

No one can make me cry out about the pain in my heart

Sometimes, I really want to just leave it at that.

Life does not bring death, and death does not take away.

Maybe I don't fit into this world at all.

Maybe that's the best place for me.

But I had to finish the book.

I still have things I want to do.

So I still have to work hard.

However, I have changed completely, can I really do it?

I do not know.

I was lost, sad, heartbroken, and wanted to cry.

So what the hell am I going to do?

I can't stand any grievances anymore.

I am always unhappy and sad because of small things.

This kind of pain has been tormenting my heart and making me very painful.

So what should I do? And how to deal with those?

(I'm sorry for bringing my negative emotions to everyone, so please forgive me.) ）