Most of the time I play games for a few hours in the evening, occasionally early and in the afternoon, but most of the afternoon, I still let my number on Mars Interstellar help me level up.

But occasionally he has something to do in the afternoon, he says he wants to go to the hospital to hang water.

I said that I was lonely and unheard, and I really didn't understand what "hanging water" meant at that time, and I thought about it for a long time before I guessed that he should be talking about infusion.

At first, Mars Interstellar only said that it was hanging water, and did not tell me what kind of disease he had. At first, I just thought he had a common cold or diarrhea, and I didn't ask much.

It wasn't until several weeks later, when I heard him say that he was going to hang water again in the afternoon, that I wondered, "Is it possible to become a chronic disease with a common illness?" "I guess.

So I asked him with great concern, what kind of disease did he have, and why he hadn't gotten better?

Mars hesitated for a long time before answering me.

"You know psychosis...... I'm sick...... It's its precursor ...... Depression. ”

Although I knew that a mentally ill person was terrible, I didn't have a specific image of a depressed person in my mind at the time, so I didn't know what the severity of it was, so I just thought it was a general illness.

But Mars explained to me further, and he didn't seem to be worried at all about the consequences of his illness on our relationship.

"Actually, I'm quite serious, and the doctor said that if I don't treat it, it is likely to escalate to mental illness."

The voice on the other end of the headset began to feel sad.

"Ah......? It's that serious. ”

I was a little frightened at first, but I was still skeptical.

"How did you get this disease?" I continue to ask with concern.

Mars on the other end of the headset paused for a long time, as if searching for something in his memory, and as if he wanted to elaborate on how to let me know more about him.

"My illness may be caused by a long period of depression."

A heavy, sluggish bass came from the headphones, and Mars Interstellar began his painful memories.

"My mother has had cancer for more than a year, and the doctor said it will probably be another six months. Originally, my mother worked as an accountant in her family's business, and the family's financial conditions were not bad, but since she fell ill and was hospitalized, it is not as good as before, and almost all the family's savings are used to treat my mother's illness. She had to get a very expensive injection every day, and one injection cost hundreds of dollars, and after more than a year, our family was dragged down.

My dad is retired and lives in the city to serve my mom. My sister got married and had her own home, and I lived alone in the dormitory area of the suburban motor factory. Basically, my sister buys me some groceries every few days and delivers them to me. I cook and eat by myself, and I have been alone for more than a year.

Ever since my mother got sick, my dad didn't care about me and never came back to the house, and I rarely went to the city to see them because my parents didn't want me to go. Only my sister came to see me every few days, but she had children and had to go to work, so sometimes she was too busy to come once a week. ”

"Aren't you going to work?" I interjected and asked.

"I was a soldier, and after demobilization, I didn't have a job, I was supposed to replace my mother and go to work in the family business, but I couldn't do accounting, so now I'm studying photoshop, because my mother's family business is engaged in plate making and printing. I have been in poor health recently, and the company will not let me go to work, and I will be asked to rest and treat at home. ”

"What is depression like? How did you find out that you yourself have this disease? ”

I was anxious to know what his current situation was like.

"It's just that I can't concentrate on doing things, I think about things all the time, I can't sleep at night, and I wake up after a short sleep."

After a pause, Mars felt sorry for himself.

"Since I got sick, I have lost a lot of weight, I used to have 12, but now I don't even have 100 pounds."

"Isn't it, you haven't weighed a hundred pounds? How tall are you? ”

I think most adult men should weigh more than 50 kilograms, because the bones will be a little thicker than a woman's, and they will account for a little more weight.

"One meter seven." Mars Interstellar replied.

"One meter seven? Less than a hundred pounds? Then you're really too thin! Eat more nutritious supplements. ”

It's heart-wrenching! The more I listened to Mars talk about him, the more pitiful I felt.

But because I have always had his rich voice in my head, as well as his wise military command ability, and his decisive and brave combat behavior, the tall and mighty "Mars Interstellar" image formed by this still cannot be weakened or changed all at once.

There was a sudden silence in the headphones for a moment, and then the faint and low narrative of Mars Interstellar was heard.

"My mother, since she learned that she had cancer, knew that she would not live long, so she always urged me to find a girlfriend quickly, saying that she would see me get married and start a family with her own eyes, so that she could rest assured."

Mars Interstellar said very sadly, listening to the earphones on the other end of the me, I don't know when it started, and the mood was extremely sad.

When he heard this, he said that his mother was terminally ill and would die soon, and he was still thinking about how to arrange his future life as soon as possible. I suddenly felt a sore nose, and a few tears were already falling.

"She's so anxious, every time we meet, it's all about it, and every time I go, I have to be scolded by her. She didn't have a very big temper when she was first hospitalized, but then she slowly got bigger. I was scolded a lot, and I didn't bother to go to see her, so as not to break up unhappily every time. ”

Mars's mood at this time suddenly changed, and it was no longer sad, but a somewhat resentful tone that continued to tell the story of his family.

"My mother has the final say in our family, so my dad will follow my mom and scold me together. Every time I went to the city to see them, it made me feel so uncomfortable that I came back, so I simply didn't go."

Complaints filled Mars's interstellar space, leaving him with no words of pity for his terminally ill mother.

Hearing Mars say that about his mother, I really don't feel good in my heart.

A mother who knew that her life was coming to an end and would die soon, under the torture of illness, passed on her pain to her son, who actually loved her the most.

Probably the mental pressure caused by the mother caused the Mars interstellar gradually suffered from depression, I analyzed the conjecture so much, so I tried to ask,

"Your mother caused you mental stress that caused you to get this disease, right?"

"This could be one of them."

Mars Interstellar partially approved of the reply to me. After all, he is the only one who knows and understands his cause best.

"There are also my previous experiences, which have also caused me a lot of psychological damage on a few occasions, and have left a lot of shadows in my heart. After all these years, I still can't forget the pain that those injuries brought me. ”