"I still have to come, I can't save Rinsi, I can't save myself, all I can hope for is not to meet him on the battlefield."

"Yes, as I had expected, I was sent into battle by the Church again, and this time, I had to kill as many people as I could. As an Ironfist Nun, punishing heretics is the only chance that will allow me to be promoted and made me stand out. ”

"In a few days, I may meet him on the battlefield, and hopefully, by then, he will be ready to flee to the country of Wanyo."

Sure enough, Jinyu's situation at that time was not optimistic.

"There's no way around it." Xie Yan sighed, "After all, she was just a little nun at the time, and she couldn't even save the person she liked, which is really sad." ”

"You're wrong, Xie Yan." I looked at Xie Yan beside me and shook my head, "Even if she becomes the Pope, she still can't save her lover, right?" ”

Xie Yan seemed to be choked by my words, and he didn't come back to his senses for a long time, and after a while, he muttered a sentence.

"yes...... So what is Jinyu working so hard for? ”

"Maybe what young Jinyu wants is love and freedom, but what Jinyu wants now should be more than that." I turned my head sideways, looked out the window at the power station, and sighed.

……

"I'm pregnant, it's ridiculous."

After flipping through the diary, the first sentence that Xie Yan blurted out made me a little overwhelmed.

Although I understand that this is written by Jinyu, it still makes me feel a little dramatic when Xie Yan reads it out.

"A person like me, who is burdened with countless blood debts, is actually eligible to get pregnant, and it is still at such a time. Sometimes I couldn't believe it, but it just happened. ”

"It's Monday, and it's five days before the next day off, can I really tell Rin the news before the next witch hunt begins? Would Rin be happy if he found out about this? Will this child, who is half of the heretical blood in his unclean association, be blessed at birth? ”

"Am I going to be excommunicated?"

"Life is really hard."

Then, the next page is blank.

Very rare blank.

"It's strange that there's never been a blank space in her diary." Xie Yan was a little puzzled, "You continue to scroll down." ”

I nodded, and continued to flip through Jinyu's diary.

Blank, blank, blank, blank.

From that day on, the entire ten pages were blank.

But it is worth noting that although nothing is written on these papers, trace inkblots and some yellowed wrinkles remain.

"That's tears." Xie Yan looked at the yellowed mottles and analyzed.

"It's hard to speculate what Jinyu went through during that time, but presumably her mood at the time should have been extremely sad, even close to manic."

I stretched out my hand and rubbed the tear stains on the paper, trying to feel the surging sadness of Jinyu at that time.

Of course, I can't feel it.

After all, these historical things are always pale, and it is difficult for people who have not experienced these stories to understand what the storyteller is really saying.

That's why some people don't respect the martyrs, some people make a lot of nonsense, some people can't live forever, and some people distort history.

Because they haven't experienced it, they can't feel it.

It is precisely because they cannot feel that they cannot see with their hearts.

After I kept turning through another ten pages, I finally saw the words.

"I let Rin go, I got a promotion, and I don't have to go to the front as a nun anymore."

"I'm a bishop now, the bishop of Moon Song City, not some Iron Fist nun."

"I got what I wanted, and this kid lost a father."

"I don't know what I'm writing or what I'm trying to say, and even though I'm sad right now, I can't shed tears at all."

"Maybe it's because I haven't written for many days, maybe it's because the feelings in my heart are too turbulent, but I don't think that's the main reason."

"I think the real reason is because it's Sunday."

"It's such a sunny day, such a good day to go out, why am I still sitting in my room doing nothing?"

"I guess I should have someone to meet today."

"But that man, where the hell is he now?"

"I slain the dragon that struts so high, but I can't even extinguish the fire in my heart."

"That's the flame of love."

"May he be well."

When he read this, Xie Yan closed his eyes.

He seemed to want to feel the mood of Jinyu when she wrote these words.

These words really make me a little ...... Sorry. Xie Yan waved his hand with his eyes, looking a little embarrassed.

"It's okay, you can keep reading, I'll help you turn the page." I looked at Xie Yan and expressed my understanding.

Xie Yan nodded, waiting for the movement of my hand.

At first, I thought that these words represented Jinyu's dedication and sadness.

But what I didn't expect is actually still to come.

From this day on, Jinyu began to blank again.

However, this time the blank space only lasted for one page, but from the next page onwards, it was a hell of repetition one after another.

"On the X day of the Xth month, I sent someone to inquire about the news of Rins today, but I found nothing."

"X month X day, today still nothing."

"On the Xth day of the Xth month, Rin Slater did not die, he has arrived in the country of Manyo."

"X month X day, nothing was found."

"X month X day, nothing was found."

"On the Xth of the Xth month, Rinslet's Mage Association in the Manyo Country was able to gain a foothold."

"X month X day, nothing ......"

"Nothing ......"

Since that day, almost dozens of pages have been found nothing, and I even doubt that Xie Yan has taken his eyes seriously.

"That's right, that's exactly what she wrote." Xie Yan replied, "I think it can be seen that since Jin Yu became a bishop, she has begun to use her position to start paying attention to the affairs of Wanye Kingdom. ”

"This shouldn't be paying attention to the affairs of Wanye Country." I shook my head, "She said she was investigating Wanyo Country, but in fact, she still cares about only one person." ”

"I always felt like things were going to change a little bit after that." Xie Yan said, "I suggest you continue to turn the page." ”

"Okay."

I replied.