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He was one of the children sent by his family to Icewind Dale for training.

It wasn't a pleasant experience, and if I had to find something pleasant, it would be that I came here with my brother.

His name is Shi Feng, and I call him Feng'er.

It's been a very long time, and when you look back, it's just a white horse.

Hunting, gathering, ambushing, trading.

Dinner, chatting, lighting fires, singing.

And then.

Grow up.

We grow up little by little, and slowly feel that we are being accepted by the world, and slowly feel that no matter how difficult life is, we will eventually have to walk hand in hand little by little.

Then, at last, the adults didn't want us to walk through it like this.

We lived together, and Kaede was injured.

I left with Feng'er and learned to live alone.

I gather firewood, build fires, gather medicines, boil slag, wait, hunt, skin, and remove meat.

Then in a daze, counting the snow, singing, crying.

Summers in the north are always so short, but winters are so long.

There is always not enough food, and so is firewood.

I could have saved my rations to make Kaede eat better, but even if I spent the night in the snow, it wouldn't be warmer in the cave.

The duration of our survival is clear, but until then, we still have to live.

I clearly felt that I was getting weaker and weaker, so weak that it was difficult to walk, and my ankles were already swollen, but I still had to go out hoping to find a dry firewood, or a beast or two corpses left in the snow, and although I went out every time I returned empty-handed, I still chose to go out.

I didn't dare to face Feng'er's desperate eyes, nor did I dare to face the future of mortality.

But what I am most afraid of is the fear of facing my own **.

I'm hungry and I'm craving to eat.

There was still a small amount of grain in the cave, but it was all Feng'er's, not mine.

But.

Feng'er is mine.

Why, can't I eat Maple?

Every time I look at my brother sleeping soundly in bed, I can't help but have such fantasies.

I fantasized that Feng'er was the pig I fed, fat, fat, delicious and delicious.

There is also a ready-made campfire in the cave, which is sure to be very delicious whether it is a barbecue or a snow water for cooking.

Although there is no salt and ingredients, I can find some sour dried fruits and cook them together, and add two pieces of rock salt, which will definitely remove the fishy smell, which is delicious and plump, and must be the most delicious thing I have ever eaten in my life.

If you can't finish eating, the rest can be smoked into bacon and hung on the top of the cave, and every time you are hungry, you can take off a piece and enjoy it while remembering Feng'er.

I was so afraid of my own endless fantasies, of my own ugly and hypocritical heart, that I didn't dare to see Feng'er's eyes trusting me.

Did you know that your most trusted sister is always thinking about when to eat you?

But I didn't.

I just stayed with Feng'er and had the longest night of my life together.

We extinguished the campfire and curled up in bed together, waiting for a common destination.

But that night did not pass, and I had a very sweet and warm dream, in which I returned to my parents, who had forgotten their looks, and enjoyed the delicious roast of a whole suckling pig by the warm fireplace.

But the dream was not over, I was awakened by a terrible cry, and when I woke up, I only saw Feng'er cowering in the corner, looking at me with fear in his eyes, and every time I approached him, he would cry in despair, and then hide.

That's when I saw his right hand.

The thin wrist had been torn off a piece of flesh with his teeth, and the flesh was so white that he couldn't even ooze a little blood, as if someone was there greedily sucking every drop of blood.

I subconsciously touched the corner of my mouth, but I felt a mouth full of blood.

I staggered away and walked alone into the snowstorm.

It turned out that I really had been wishing for him to die sooner.

He ruined everything for me.

A normal life, a conversation with friends, and, to live in the future.

If it weren't for him, if it weren't for him, I would still be able to live under everyone's gaze as the best kid, I could help a lot of people, I could protect a lot of people, and I would definitely become very strong in the future, strong enough to allow countless people to live comfortably and safely.

I was so hypocritical, and so shameless, that I let him live to this point, to drag myself down to where I am today.

So in the wind and snow, I slowly turned around.

There's still a little bit of food in the cave that he doesn't want to eat anyway, and I can go back and eat it.

The embers of the campfire will probably still burn for a while, and I can light it.

Everything was missing in the cave, except for one more.

I finally had a chance to subtract that extra thing.

And then - I can go back.

I'll tell them that Feng'er's wound has finally festered, and I haven't been able to heal him despite all my efforts.

With this in mind, I walked back to the cave, and. I saw Kaede, which had been hidden by the wind and snow.

He climbed out of bed on his own and climbed all the way into the snow.

What a wonderful thing that doesn't even require my hands.

But I didn't feel happy at all.

I rushed up to pick him up from the snow, then desperately dragged him back to the bed, lit a campfire with flint, and boiled a pot of snow water.

It was then that I saw that a new wound had been made on his wrist again, and the wound was deep into the bone.

I wanted to kill him.

Why is it so sad to see him dying?

It turns out that I never knew that I was actually still in love with this cumbersome and stupid brother.

No matter how hard life is.

I've always loved him.

Thinking like this, I couldn't help but laugh there with tears in my eyes.

I undressed each other and carefully warmed his frozen body until I felt the slight beat of his heart, and finally breathed a long sigh of relief.

I got dressed again, washed and bandaged his wound with hot water, and delivered the last dry food myself.

Then I walked out of the cave and went to the only place that could have saved us.

Camp of the Caretakers.

There was only one man in the caretaker's camp during the winter months, and when he was awakened by my knock on the door, he seemed very irritable.

But when I told him that I would do anything for him if he gave me dry rations and charcoal, he was visibly happy.

He repeated it, asking me: anything?

I responded with a nod.

In the caretaker's camp, I gave him my first time.

In exchange for three pieces of jerky and ten catties of charcoal.

But when I was about to leave, he stopped me.

Tell me: charcoal can be brought back, but jerky must be eaten here.

I disagreed, and told him that if needed, I could do it again, or rather, let more people come.

He shook his head, disagreed, and then said, "How could I let you go back and raise your concubine brother?"

So, I killed him.

Killing someone isn't easier than killing anything, but it's also harder than anything.

He broke my arm and left me with a lot of wounds.

But I killed him.

I scavenged all the supplies I could find in the camp, then set fire to the camp and pulled my sled back to the cave.

The supplies I brought back may be enough for the two of us, but if I kill the guards, the family will not spare me when they know about it.

Also, I have an injury like this, and I'm afraid it will take longer and more medicine to treat.

At that time, it must have been Feng'er who took care of me.

It's just that I don't want to, I don't want him to experience the emotion of hating everything out of despair.

I don't want to be hated by my brother who I loved the most, as I once hated him.

So after seeing him for the last time, I pulled the empty sleigh and jumped into the valley with it.