Soon, he was back to school.

As a matter of course, I live in my own bedroom,

Accept strange stares as a matter of course.

Hey, is he a pervert?

Or is it a madman?

They say so.

......

Li Mu closed the door and leaned his back against it.

The noise outside grew louder.

Li Mu lowered his head.

Yes, I'm a pervert and a madman.

I admit it.

......

I've tried a lot of things to make me look like a boy.

But I found that

I never knew myself,

It's like I don't understand my body.

My hair was getting longer, and I couldn't cut it.

The face is getting more and more beautiful, and I can't destroy it.

They are mine and myself.

I only have myself.

......

A drizzle of rain fell on the protruding eaves of the windows,

Dripped down the window.

A gust of wind blew, and the window was pushed open with a clang.

The rain was blown in,

Li Mu sat on the ground,

Leaning against the side of the bed,

Empty eyes stared at the dim skylight.

The wind ruffled his hair and struck a drop of rain into the corner of his eye, sliding down the curve of his cheeks,

It's like crying,

But

Not really.

......

The doctor came again, and he kept urging me to go for a follow-up.

His gaze was soft.

In my heart,

It was empty, as if something had been lost.

......

Actually, I want my mother to die.

And then I'll be able to be unscrupulous,

And then I don't have a burden,

Then I felt no guilt.

But I don't want my mother to die,

I love her

I love her more than anyone else.

......

It's been a long time,

As if experiencing a reincarnation,

Finally, freeze in

November 28, 2017.

The weather was very bad,

Blowing hot and cold.

The air is also not good,

A blue alert for air pollution was issued just a few days ago.

What's wrong with the world?

.......

Li Mu is used to it,

Accustomed to strange eyes,

accustomed to mocking words,

Accustomed to one's world.

He no longer desperately uses scissors and his own hair,

and no more poke his cheek with an awl,

It's useless,

He confessed.

He bought a white hanfu,

Men's model, of course.

It's beautiful

Hope burned up in his heart again.

......

Wherever he goes, it's going to be a sight to behold, and everyone is watching him.

There are photos of him circulating on the Internet,

It's beautiful,

The title is,

The most beautiful woman in ancient costume.

True taunt,

I'm obviously a boy.

......

Li Mu didn't smile,

Never.

He bought a flask,

It's like the kind in costume dramas,

There is liquor in it.

At first, I wanted to be in the limelight,

afterward

He didn't care anymore.

He headed his throat,

Took a sip of wine.

......

Maybe someone looked for him during this time,

In exchange for money for his body,

or all sorts,

Dirty deals.

Filthy?

Hehe, who knows,

He didn't know,

Didn't care,

Didn't pay attention,

There is no memory.

......

Mom, I miss you.

I miss you so much.

Thinking of your warm embrace,

Thinking of your loving smile,

I want you to indulge in indulgence,

Mom, I miss you.

.......

But he didn't go back after all,

He was afraid to see his mother,

for he was disappointed,

disappointment in yourself,

He was afraid that his mother would see him like this,

That would disappoint Mom.

Well, to put it mildly,

No one loves his mother more than he does,

No one.

......

I'm starting to care about the opinions of the people around me again.

I can't help but care,

Because I live in this world,

Whether it's needed or not,

I crave to be needed,

I crave to be recognized,

It's not because of my abilities,

It's because of my people.

I want someone to identify with my soul.

.....

Yes, soul.

.....

But no,

I can't find interesting souls,

I can't find a compassionate soul,

I can't find a loving soul,

Mom can't either.

I desire,

longing to be loved,

Longing for sorrow,

I want to prove,

It's not like I've been here,

It's here I am.

......