Bang Bang!!

There was a round of applause from the stage.

"Welcome to China Literature's famous interviews, I am your old friend - start small."

On the stage is the setting of a traditional talk show, a small table, two chairs, wearing the usual penguin hood, holding the host's hand card, and quickly chanting: "This program is sponsored and broadcast by Alibaba, Wanda Group, Shanda Entertainment and Perfect World......

Smack!

There was another face-saving applause from the audience.

"So, next I would like to invite our guest today, the famous writer - I am Bei Yuan."

Smack!

It was still a calm and unchanging applause.

"Hello everyone, I'm Bei Coin ......"

A handsome guy walked quickly onto the stage with a warm smile.

"Hello host."

"Hello Shellfish."

The two said hello and sat down separately.

A little bit politely said: "Bei Yuan, the big guy may not be familiar with you, why don't you introduce yourself?" ”

"Introduce yourself?"

Bei Coin looked at the audience under the stage, smiling.

I am Bei Yuan, one of the writers under China Literature Group, and one of the five commanders of China Literature, the first handsome of China Literature, the second handsome of China Literature, the second handsome of China Literature, the third handsome of China Literature, the third handsome of China Literature, the fourth handsome of China Literature, I am Bei Yuan, and the last one is me.

Book friends often say that the handsomeness of the five handsomes of Reading Literature is indistinguishable and comparable.

The eyes of the masses are bright, so I will not refute it.

As such a well-known handsome writer, of course I can't be invited to ordinary programs, but as soon as I make a small start, it is the excellent condition of "signing a contract with 50,000 words, testing the waters on 100,000 words, and pushing the shelves with 200,000 words", which is really too generous.

In the face of enthusiasm, I reluctantly agreed.

Because I feel like I've seen the pinnacle of my writing career, hehehehe......

He was a little excited when he thought about it!

"Ahem......"

Bei Coin put away his messy thoughts, coughed dryly, and prepared to introduce himself according to the script, "Hello everyone, I'm ......"

However, he had just spoken......

"Thank you for introducing yourself."

Xiaodian was the first to applaud and thank you.

"This ......"

Bei Coin stammered for a while, glaring at the little dot, what did I mean by interrupting me when I introduced myself?

Bang Bang!!

The audience also followed with a round of applause.

Huhu, maintain my image in front of the audience, maintain my image, after all, I have thunderous applause in the audience, obviously the audience likes me very much, and I certainly can't let the audience down......

He took a deep breath, suppressed the anger in his heart, glanced at the audience, his eyes froze, wait a minute, what the hell is in the audience?

There are ten audience chairs in the audience, only one uncle wearing work clothes and a work card is holding a broadcaster, whenever he needs applause, the uncle will press it, and then a burst of mechanical applause comes out.

Oh, this show is too shabby, dare you say it's the most popular column under China Literature?

Ahh

I feel like I've been tricked into a wolf's den, no, I have to go!

Bei Yuan's face tightened, and he stood up suddenly, and turned around to leave.

Burst!

Xiao Xiaodian quickly grabbed Bei Yuan's arm.

"Huh?"

Bei Coin glanced at the dot disdainfully, no matter how good the conditions of this kind of broken show are, as a famous artist, I will not continue to stay, after all, I also want face.

Qi Xiaodian whispered: "New book classification is strongly recommended!! ”

Syllable!

Bei Yuan sat down again, of course, he didn't stay because of any internal recommendation, but felt that people should be honest, and since he promised to be interviewed in advance, he should not regret it.

"Very good, the self-introduction has been completed, please Bei Coin said the end of the testimonial!"

Qi Xiaoxiao said enthusiastically.

"No problem, no problem......"

Bei Coin nodded with a smile, and secretly recalled the testimonials he had prepared:

First of all, I would like to thank China Literature Group for giving me a stage to display my talents, and then I would like to thank my editor-in-charge Ruoye Ju for supporting me during my continuous interruption...... One million words omitted.

To put it simply, my gratitude to Wakaba Ju is like a surging river, which is endless.

"Very good, very good, thank you for the testimonial."

A little bit and a snap of applause and thanks.

Smack!

The uncle in the audience observed the words and immediately pressed the button, and the applause rang out, and the audience roared.

Wait a minute, what the hell? I'm just typing a draft in my mind, where can I finish my testimonial? Are you kidding me?

Bei Coin glared at Xiao Dian, this penguin is so shameless, no, I have to go.

He scrambled to his feet and prepared to retreat.

Burst!

With a little bit of a quick hand, he grabbed Bei Yuan's arm again.

"Huh?"

Bei Coin glanced at the dot disdainfully, no matter how good the conditions of this kind of broken show are, as a famous artist, I will not continue to stay, after all, I also want face.

Qi Xiaodian whispered: "New book Sanjiang recommended!! ”

Syllable!

Bei Coin sat down again, of course, it was explained in advance that he didn't stay because of any internal recommendation, after all, Sanjiang recommended something, he didn't understand, but he felt the other party's strong sincerity from the small matter of "adding money", and he was deeply moved, so he stayed to continue the interview.

Whew, calm down, I want to maintain the demeanor of a celebrity!

He smiled slightly, "Hello host, please continue to ask me questions!" ”

Qi Xiaodian stared at the hand card and said honestly: "Okay, Bei Yuan, as a famous artist, you have dozens of fans, before the column starts, we have already sent out a notice that you are going to be on our show, collect the questions that your fans want to ask you, then next, I will ask you questions on behalf of your hundreds of fans, I hope you will answer sincerely." ”

What the hell is a dozen or hundreds of fans? Isn't it okay to write a general word like "many", "many", and "many"? Am I shameless?

Bei Coin was depressed in his heart.

"First question, Bei Yuan, your writing is so bad, are you eating?"

“……”

Becoin is silent, Nima, are you sure this is a fan? Black powder is also powder? Can you be serious about the selection of your program group? Are you going to me off?

Bang Bang Bang!

The uncle in the audience pressed the applause button.

Applause your sister, is this the time to applaud?

Shellfish almost blew up.

"Ha, the first question is a little awkward, let's skip it." The small point may be to see the impatience of Bei Yuan, and then ask: "Second question, Bei Yuan, what did you write at the end?" Are you SB? ”

“……”

The corners of Bei Yuan's mouth twitched, host, do we have a grudge? Are you sure you have to choose these weird questions?

Bang Bang Bang!

The uncle in the audience performed his duties diligently.

"Whew, this question is indeed a bit difficult to answer, so let's move on......"

Xiao Dian looked at the next question on the card and smiled.

Call~

Bei Coin saw the little bit of demeanor, and secretly breathed a sigh of relief in his heart, it seems that there should be a normal problem.

"I'm very glad that you don't have many fans, and you only asked two questions, otherwise I wouldn't be able to get off the stage."

Throw away the hand card of the fan problem, and there are only two fan problems recorded on it.

Groove !!

This broken show is absolutely deliberate, I want to be so handsome that thousands of book friends, when I learn that I am on the show, how can there be only two questions? It's definitely the program team doing things secretly, and if it continues, my reputation will be completely ruined.

No, I have to go!

Bei Coin thought about it and immediately stood up.

Burst!

With a little bit of a quick hand, he grabbed Bei Yuan's arm again.

"Huh?"

Bei Coin glanced at the dot disdainfully, no matter how good the conditions of this kind of broken show are, as a famous artist, I will not continue to stay, after all, I also want face.

Qi Xiaodian whispered: "The homepage of the new book is strongly recommended!! ”

Syllable!

Bei Coin sat down again, of course, it was explained in advance that he did not stay because of any internal recommendation, but felt that doing things must have a beginning and an end, and he could not give up halfway.

"Very good, the show continues, Bei Yuan, as a writer, I usually stay at home, if I am alone, I should be very lonely, so do you have a girlfriend?"

Xiao Xiaodian's eyes stared at the change in Bei Yuan's expression.

Oops, this question is so heart-wrenching, how can a writer have a girlfriend? It's all a group of single dogs, and they usually do health exercises in addition to code words - a slow motion with the left hand and the right hand.

You can't be honest, otherwise if I'm so handsome and can't find a girlfriend, it will make people laugh.

I'm also a face-saving person!

But how do you answer that?

Well, I always have dinner with my buddies, so let's replace my buddies with girlfriends and paint a picture of my dinner party, perfect.

He secretly thought about it, and immediately replied: "Usually, my girlfriends and I often go out to dinner and drink, hey, you don't know, my girlfriends can drink, one person can drink more than a dozen bottles of beer, I can't do it at all, and they eat barbecue, always like to eat bullwhips, what to make up, oops, they must have done too much health exercises on weekdays, so they are empty, I said to be restrained and restrained, they just don't believe it......"

He crackled and said a lot, and when he was secretly complacent, he looked up and saw that Xiaodian's gaze was very deep, and there was a kind of essence that saw through everything flickering.

Oh, it can't be some loophole in the words just now, right? Oops, let him see through it.

"You don't have a girlfriend, do you?"

The ground poked him in the heart with a small word.

Burst!

Bei Coin secretly spit out a mouthful of old blood and pierced his heart.

Fuck, can you speak more tactfully, if it goes on like this, I'm going to be embarrassed?

No, I have to go!

He scrambled to his feet.

Burst!

With a little bit of a quick hand, he grabbed Bei Yuan's arm again.

"What are you going to do?"

Bei Yuan glared at Xiao Dian angrily, no matter how good the conditions of this kind of broken show are, as a famous artist, I will not continue to stay, after all, I also want face.

Qi Xiaodian whispered: "The big seal is pushed!" ”

Syllable!

Bei Coin sat down again, of course, it was explained in advance that he didn't stay because of any internal recommendation, but felt that he couldn't forget his original intention, what did he do on the show? Naturally, it is to interact with the fans more, so in order not to disappoint the fans, I must not go.

"Okay, the show continues."

Qi Xiaodian glanced at the hand card, and asked with a smile: "As we all know, there are four beautiful men in the online literature world, and the top three are called East Eye, West Ear, and South Mouth, may I ask what the fourth name is?" ”

Aha, brain teasers, as a handsome and smart celebrity, how could you stump such a small problem?

Bei Coin secretly thought to himself, the east eye, the west ear, and the south mouth...... Oops, got it.

He smirked, "North Nose." ”

"I've never seen such a brazen person claim to be a beautiful man, phew, shameless, b......lah, blah

Xiao Dian pointed at the shell coin and complained wildly, with a look of disgust.

What the heck? Did I guess wrong? After the east eye, the west ear, and the south mouth, it should indeed be the north nose, huh? Wait a minute, North Nose? Shell coins? , it's a trap, it's a trick.

However, I am indeed a beautiful man!

However, this is no longer the point at hand, but this penguin is so shameless, this interview is definitely premeditated, and it is to trap me, a beautiful man who combines handsomeness and intelligence.

No, it's not a good place to stay for long, I have to go!

He scrambled to his feet.

Burst!

With a little bit of a quick hand, he grabbed Bei Yuan's arm again.

"What are you going to do?"

Bei Yuan glared at Xiao Dian angrily, no matter how good the conditions of this kind of broken show are, as a famous artist, I will not continue to stay, after all, I also want face.

Qi Xiaodian whispered: "APP cover recommendation!! ”

Syllable!

Bei Coin sat down again, of course, it was explained in advance that he didn't stay because of any internal recommendation, after all, the recommendation was a floating cloud for him, the aroma of wine was not afraid of deep alleys, his writing was good, even if there was no recommendation, he could be on fire.

The reason why he stayed was just that his knees softened just now, and he involuntarily sat down again, probably because of sitting for a long time, and his legs were numb.

Since he sat down again, of course, he couldn't stand up again, otherwise it would give the impression of capriciousness, which was not good.

"Okay, let's go on."

Xiao Dian glanced at the hand card again and asked: "As we all know, there are four rogue writers in our online literature industry, and the last three are shameless, dirty, and obscene, so who is the first hooligan in the online literature industry?" ”

Another brain teaser? This kind of question is of course trivial to me.

"Well, shameless, dirty, and nasty...... Ah, I figured it out. ”

Bei Coin slapped his palms and said in high spirits: "The number one hooligan in the online literature industry is despicable. ”

Bang Bang!!

applauded a little warmly, and exclaimed: "Bei Yuan, you finally admit that you are the number one hooligan in the online literature industry, although your behavior makes me disgusting, but your courage to dare to face your inferior roots is worthy of my admiration." ”

Bang Bang Bang!

The uncle in the audience also immediately played the applause of the audience.

What, what the hell? How can I admit that I am the number one hooligan in the online literature industry? Hmm, wait a minute, mean...... Shell coins? , the problem is a trap, and if you are not careful, you will be tricked.

This penguin is too insidious, this show is too sinister, and if it continues, my image will be completely ruined, and my huge fan base will leave me.

No, I can't stay any longer, I have to go!

He scrambled to his feet.

Burst!

With a little bit of a quick hand, he grabbed Bei Yuan's arm again.

"What are you going to do?"

Bei Coin glared at Xiao Dian angrily, no matter how good the conditions of this kind of broken show are, as a famous person, I will not continue to stay, after all, I also want to be embarrassed.

Qi Xiaodian whispered: "Omni-channel recommendation!! ”

Syllable!

Bei Coin sat down again, of course, it was explained in advance that he didn't stay because of any omni-channel recommendation, after all, that thing was dispensable for him who was determined to take the copyright route.

He is just enthusiastic about his career and responsible for the business, and he doesn't want to leave in a bad mood.

However, even if he stayed, he couldn't let a little nonsense get around, and he had to strike first.

He smiled and said, "Can you ask some questions about writing?" Don't dwell on the little things that rot sesame. ”

"Writing-related questions? Ok no problem. ”

He flipped through the dots and immediately said: "Bei Yuan, you are a famous writer and proficient in all kinds of writing skills, so I will test your situational expression skills." ”

"Situational articulation? Oh, little meaning. ”

The corners of Bei Yuan's mouth are slightly curved, confident, and confident.

"Excuse me!"

"One day, you were taking a shower, and suddenly there was an explosion in the kitchen, and there was a chainsaw in the bedroom, and your sister's scream came from the living room, and then your hair suddenly caught fire, and then a rock singer with a guitar and three singing dogs came in, and they took a bottle of milk to extinguish the fire on your head, which word should I use to summarize this episode."

The little one paints the problem in a quick tone.

“……”

Bei Coin looked sluggish and groaned, completely unable to hear what he was saying.

How to answer this question?

Smack!

However, when he was confused, Qi Xiaodian had already taken the lead in applauding and exclaimed: "Bei Yuan is worthy of being a famous writer, and he perfectly expresses the scene I just now with his own expression......

Bang bang bang!!

A fierce beating rang out on the stage.

"Shoot you, let you ask a few blind questions, kill you ......"

Bei Coin held up his chair and smacked his face with a fierce face.

Beep beep beep!!

Soon after, the sirens of police cars were heard outside.

"You boutiques, gods, and platinums in the online literature industry, when I come out, I will kill you all......"

Bei Coin clung to the steel bar on the police car and yelled at the onlookers.

In the end, in view of the strong violent tendencies of Bei Coin, in order to prevent the threat to the lives of others, the judge decided to sentence Bei Yuan to life imprisonment and not be released from prison for life.

"Huh? Judge, I'm just angry for a while, you must not take it seriously, woo, let me out, I'm going to write an extra, I'm going to write a sequel, give me a chance, I want to be a good person......"

"Woo, Mom, I'll never write again in the next life."