[This chapter recommends BGM Aimer: "Last Stardust", I wish you all a happy Valentine's Day]

In retrospect, when he first met Maggie, Lear didn't like her, but he hated Maggie a little.

Of course, this is not to say that Maggie is difficult to get along with, has a young lady's temper or is disgusting, but some kind of mental twist.

After all, it's hard to see many such children, polite but like dead people, looking at you with cold and lifeless eyes, as if they were looking at something.

Give somebody the creeps.

Just being with Maggie, Lear felt unwell, if it was just a chance meeting, then patience would have passed, but Maggie was Lear's personal maid, studying and living with Lear, and the distance between them was the closest among all of them.

Although Maggie showed the potential of a beautiful embryo early, there is certainly nothing pleasant about getting along with such a walking dead compared to visual enjoyment.

It's not that I feel uncomfortable just looking at it, not that I feel disgusted, but that the mechanical feeling is terrifying.

After that, why did I start to face Maggie and the fact that she was just an ordinary girl?

Why did his relationship with Maggie slowly begin to improve, and Maggie began to open up to herself?

Why did you fall in love with Maggie?

That's indistinguishable.

More than ten years of spending the weight of life together, mixed and entangled, warm and distorted into something sticky, sticking memories into a ball of invisible shapes

By the time I realized it, I couldn't remember what I thought back then, but I only knew that Maggie had become an indispensable existence for me.

But there is a pleasant feeling that it is enough.

It's just that there is always a sense of drama, although more than ten years later, this is almost a matter of course, but if you have just met Maggie, you will definitely not think of this day.

Here it is - some nameless church or something, the tables and chairs are pure white like a girl's dream, this kind of thing is fine, the venue doesn't matter at all, does it?

What matters is who stands with themselves.

The blinding light shone through the floor-to-ceiling window, blurring the face of the girl he was holding hands into, but Lear knew - he didn't need to see the other person's face clearly, he just needed to smell her scent, hear the rhythm of her walking, feel her breath to tell the other person's identity.

The weight of more than ten years of life is so heavy.

It's Maggie.

Lear still couldn't see her face clearly, because the light was too dazzling, and she was dressed in a white wedding dress, as beautiful as in her dreams.

For some reason, when he realized that it was Maggie, Lear, who was standing across from Maggie, felt a sense of relief, as if it could be someone else.

But this is obviously not possible, as Lear 'won't' accept girls other than Maggie.

This is a man's lifelong commitment.

So it won't be violated.

For some reason, the atmosphere here is clearly the scene of the wedding, but only Lear and Maggie are in attendance.

Friends and relatives who do not have the responsibility to witness.

A priest who did not make a promise.

Only Lear and Maggie.

But that's all right, isn't it? It's not who attends, it's who attends, it's who attends.

Lear couldn't ask for anything more.

He took Maggie's hand and pulled out a ring from his bosom, a ring that Lear was somehow familiar with, and the gems on it were too big for a wedding ring to wear every day.

But that's also an inconsequential detail, the size of the ring, the value of the value is not important at all, what matters is the promise in the heart, the sacred contract, not the thing that can be bought with money.

Lear opened his mouth, the tension in his heart reached its peak, he was sure that no matter what kind of crisis he encountered, he swallowed a few times hard, opened his mouth, couldn't help but lick his lips, and then opened his mouth.

"Please marry me."

When he said this, he seemed to be discouraged, and waited for an answer as if he were fate.

But he doesn't need to be left to fate, because the answer is fixed.

Mutual ownership and mutual support.

Whether good or bad, rich or poor, sick or healthy, we will love and cherish one another.

Until death separates us.

Although he knew that it must be this answer, Lear couldn't help but hold his breath before hearing it with his own ears.

[I'm sorry.] 】

Lear was stunned, Maggie's answer overwhelmed him, but her voice was ethereal compared to that, and she let go of Lear's hand as if it was about to disappear.

Wait a minute.

[I'm sorry.] 】

Why apologize?

[I'm sorry.] 】

Don't do that.

[I'm sorry.] 】

Don't do that, please.

Lear still couldn't see Maggie's face clearly, but he instinctively felt it, and a wry smile of annoyance appeared on her face.

[I'm sorry.] 】

Even if it's just to lie to me, it's okay to just coax me.

[I'm sorry.] 】

It doesn't matter if you leave me, it's just 。。。。。。

[I'm sorry, Lear.] 】

。。。。。。 Just, don't let me never see you again.

[Please let me think about it a little more.] 】

The scenery around Lear flew backwards like a time lapse, and a heavy, irresistible force pulled him out of his beautiful dream, and then showed him the truth mercilessly.

Yes, anyone can see that this is nothing more than a beautiful dream, a beautiful dream of a sad and painful man's ugly escape from reality.

If the reality is so painful that it cannot be changed, isn't it the basic compassion that anyone should have if they escape from it in a dream?

But no, he was forcibly awakened.

Because he has been entrusted with such an important mission, he cannot afford to waste his precious time on feelings that may be important to him personally, perhaps irreplaceable, but only personally.

He should spend his sleeping, escaping time thinking, working, if the reality is painful, then he should transform the reality, if the beloved dies, instead of lamenting, it is better to think about how to make the beloved of others not die for the same reason, this is the rational, appropriate, and the practice of a warrior.

And how insignificant Lear's pain was.

While you are in pain, there are others who are more painful.

While you are grieving for your dead lover, there are many more who are grieving for their love.

No matter what you want to do or what you are doing, you have no room to waste time in agonizing over your own misfortunes.

It's not just because you went directly to the war and you killed people, but also-

Someone suffers, suffers, and is killed before you, and you fail to save him, then you are guilty of your incompetence. 】

[If a person dies in front of you, and you do not expect more people to be lost in places you cannot see, then your foolishness is sinful. 】

If you indulge in pain and see your own pain as superior to the pain of others, then your arrogance is guilty. 】

Lear was not tried in court for this crime, but Lear was sentenced himself.

Even he knew that no matter what he did, he couldn't drag the dead back to the world.

He is not God, and he does not even believe in or even despise the so-called 'God', which is undoubtedly the product of the weak's abandonment of thinking, abandonment of fighting, and compromise.

God does not exist.

Heaven does not exist.

So for as long as he was in pain, he couldn't see that girl again.

In the moment before he was thrown back into reality, he suddenly remembered.

Ah, Maggie hasn't replied to me yet.

Will you marry me?

That answer was no longer heard.

———— Dividing Line————

。。。。。。 Lear?

In a blur, Lear seemed to hear someone calling his name, and he only felt as if there was a huge air flow in his ears, and he slowly opened his eyes in the midst of a flurry of headaches and tinnitus.

"Lear?" Familiar name, but the voice was not the girl, Lear fixed his gaze, it was Aina.

Aina Sakharin.

She looked at herself worriedly, and when she thought about it, Lear had an idea of her own state, and the description of her pale face was already good, and when he confirmed that the Leipzig was indeed sunk, and that the entire battleship had been torn into several pieces due to the explosion of the core reactor, and that no trace of Maggie had been found, the breath of a dead man could be felt by anyone.

Although Maggie is believed to be missing, the Zeon Army's search and rescue team believes she should be in the midst of the fragments scattered in the explosion.

But it was clear to anyone that it was almost impossible for her to survive in such a situation.

It was only at this moment that Lear couldn't help but hate his own reason, if only he could be convinced wholeheartedly that she was not dead, that she was still alive somewhere in the world.

It's natural to be worried, and Lear is grateful and sorry for Aina's concern.

"What's wrong, Aina?" Lear stood up in his chair, he felt dizzy from hunger and fatigue, he had no memory of eating, so he probably hadn't eaten.

After all, the girl who would remember if he ate properly and forced him to eat regularly when he didn't want to eat was no longer there, so probably no one would always urge him to eat well.

"Well, there's a communication from the bridge that we're almost back to Zeon," Aina said after a moment's hesitation, "So General Dozru sent an order to hold a short meeting on the Princeley, with the participation of the various troop commanders, so as to determine the various procedures for returning to Zeon, such as 。。。。。。 Triumphant, or something. ”

As if fearing that words like triumph, which sound cheerful, would remind Lear of something sad, Aina couldn't help but pause.

What a gentle person, Lear smiled bitterly in his heart, it seems that the girls he is more familiar with are all gentle types?

This is not good, in such an age, too gentle will be short-lived.

"I know, I'll go—" he paused as he needed to reply to the Gilgourre's orders, but he didn't want to be in front of everyone just yet, and he couldn't show weakness, either in front of his enemies or comrades.

In this way, he had to let someone else pass the word for him, which was nothing, he was also an officer, and it would be good to let his orderlies go, but he suddenly realized that because the work of the orderlies was taken care of by Maggie in the past, he did not ask the orderlies, so that he now has no orderlies to order.

Maybe I should have an orderly so Maggie wouldn't have to be so busy.

Lear couldn't help but bite his lower lip, only realizing it when Maggie was gone, what a stupid person he was.

"Lear, let me reply on the bridge, you better rest a little longer." As if she had read Lear's thoughts, Aina said worriedly.

I don't know when it started, maybe it was the tacit understanding cultivated on the battlefield that Aina was able to naturally call out Lear's name.

“。。。。。。 Sorry for the trouble, I'll go to the bridge later. Lear breathed a sigh of relief, please.

"It's fine, but it's 。。。。。。" Aina looked into Lear's eyes, and the worry in her clear eyes that was free of impurities made Lear can't help but look away: "Are you really not taking a break anymore?" ”

"No," Lear shook his head, "There's still a lot of work to deal with, it's the busiest time, there's no time to rest." ”

"I'll be fine in a moment."

"But," Aina still didn't give up: "You look like。。。。。。 Crying? ”

As if she felt that the word was not appropriate to say to an adult male, Aina couldn't help but lower her voice, but Lear heard it anyway.

Only then did he realize that there was a tight, sticky sensation on his cheeks, which was undoubtedly the feeling of tears drying up.

Actually...... When was it happening?

Lear was slightly surprised.

But he immediately reacted, probably in a dream.

"I'm fine, don't worry." Lear turned his head to prevent Aina from seeing his face, as if he wanted to cover it up.

"Okay, then you take care, if 。。。。。。。" Aina hesitated for a moment and said, "If there is any difficulty, you might as well tell me, although I can't do anything for you, but just listen to you, I can still do it." ”

Lear became disgusted with himself, because his weakness was exposed in front of Aina, which made the kind girl worry about herself, and because, when he heard her words, Lear did feel grateful and liking for her, which made him feel a little disgusting, and Aina was undoubtedly worried about himself out of kindness, while he had a crush on her.

In the present.

He held back the feeling of nausea and replied with a smile, "Thank you, Aina, if I really need your help, I will definitely speak." ”

"Thank you."

Lear's answer made Aina smile, "Nothing. ”

"We're friends."

Her smile was unpretentious.

"Well, you're right." As if to emphasize something, Lear replied, "We are friends." ”

"I'll see you later, I'll help you convey it on the other side of the bridge, you don't have to worry." With that, Aina walked out of Lear's room.

And after she was gone, Lear sat down for a moment, he went to wash his face, then poured a belly of tea, and then sat back at his desk, and with the sinking of the Leipzig, many of the things he had stored in his cabin were gone, and some of them were important, and he had to recover them before he forgot them, after all, memory is not always a reliable thing.

He got to work, and then, disgust for himself welled up in his heart.

Disgust at not being able to devote all your heart to even remembering your lover.