It is easy to know and remember a truth, but it is extremely painful to prove and understand a truth.

Until you experience this pain yourself, it can't be a scar that makes you deep and vicissitudes.

After walking for a long time in a dark road, I found that the end was almost a dead end. So I went back to the entrance and said, "This road doesn't work", that's all.

If you have a book friend who has been chasing you all the way, you will find that I used to reply to every comment in the past, but after February, I hardly replied to anything.

I really don't know how to explain why I did this, but in my heart, I think I was afraid.

I don't know exactly what I'm afraid of, but I'm just afraid to communicate with everyone, and then I'm thinking about the plot one by one.

This book may seem like one of many works on the collection page, but for me, it's a unique treasure in the world.

Because the update is too slow, it can only guarantee 4000+ per day, so what kind of reward monthly pass recommendation or the like, I haven't asked for it once after it was put on the shelf, but everyone is still willing to support me, thank you very much here.

Writing is to write only if you like it, and at the same time you want to be recognized.

It's not easy to have readers, and it's not easy to make such a little achievement, who wants to give up here......

However, it must be said now, sorry, that this book is going to be suspended for a while.

It's not the pressure from my parents or anything, it's my parents, they're too willing to understand me.

When I came home during the holidays, they didn't let me do the cooking and cleaning when they found out that I was there. Even when the holiday was about to end and I was packing my bags for school, my mother still smiled and said to me:

Write well, and I'll help you clean it up.

In the face of their empathy, in the face of their such support, I was shaken.

For me, it's a "refuge" connected to reality.

In his favorite story, he has the fantasy of a long sword and magic -

As long as hard work will be rewarded, gentle people can obtain happiness,

Constantly gaining strength in adventures, and soon being liked by beautiful girls......

As long as there is such a story, as long as there is such a fantasy, any kind of sadness can be overcome, and it has the strength to face everything - these are of course impossible.

Perhaps, if you persist without distractions as in the past, the day of your emergence may really come, but only a small number of talented people can really succeed, and the rest are gamblers.

It's useless to have a dream, if you can't achieve it, it's better to live ordinarily.

The door that left the "shelter" was now in front of my eyes.

During the winter vacation, at the class reunion, this one said that he interned in XX and learned how much, and the other said that he had taken the XX certificate and was going to go......

Presumably, the days ahead will only get worse.

I said this to my parents, they are all salted fish, just to live for the sake of living, I am different, I have dreams.

In the face of this ignorant and superficial statement, the parents just smiled kindly,

- As long as you're happy, it doesn't matter what's going on.

It's clear that my mouth is so hard that I can't help but wonder, is it right to do this?

Since everything that belonged to my childhood and youth was gone, no matter how reluctant I was, whether it was a world outside that I had nothing to rely on, or a sky that needed to be rebuilt bit by bit, I had to pass through that door and leave my own shelter.

Let go of these in your hands, as a competent citizen, a son who is filial to his parents;

In the future, if possible, as a trustworthy husband and a father to rely on.

I don't have any grievances with this arrangement, and I don't have that kind of qualifications, after all, that's what has to be done.

But what about those former feelings and thoughts, the "she" who was locked in her heart?

"Usually you are quite steady, how do you talk you feel younger than me, sometimes like the patients I receive......"

——A girl who knew each other on a blind date said.

Well, don't get me wrong, she's not a psychiatric nurse, she's just a pediatric ...... Pediatrics......

"Because men are teenagers all their lives!"

- I replied to her so, and, of course, we couldn't be together.

Yes, the "she" in my heart is still alive.

It's just that it's going to take a break for a while.

I can't guarantee how long it will last, at least at the end of this year, the graduate school entrance examination will be over.

At least don't embarrass my parents in front of friends and relatives when I graduate, and make them think I'm okay – at least on the surface.

In fact, on the night I left home, I had already made the decision to put the book down for the time being.

After the start of school, I worked hard to review with my classmates, and at the end of Saturday, I also signed up for more than 20,000 cram schools, however, I still had small expectations in my heart.

On the premise of maintaining the progress of revision, I stepped up to spend the evening time coding words, and continued to work hard for it, and in the first few days, everything was really in order, and even I was proud of it.

It's a pity that when manpower is poor, with the continuous passage of time, various problems continue to be highlighted, and the real situation is already in front of us.

In the morning, the four people in the dormitory set off to the library together, and the other three came back at ten o'clock in the evening every day, and I came back at eight o'clock, just for the daily update, but even so, the quality was constantly affected, and I was getting more and more tired during the day......

Looking back on the past month, I have been able to persist in this state for so long, and I am actually very emotional.

I don't have any plans for the next time, whether to continue the story of the book or start a new chapter, and if I don't have a good idea, I'll continue to write it according to the current outline.

Although the later part of the outline of the book is only a rough sketch, and the details of each part have not yet been completed, I have already written more than twenty pages of drafts in my notebook for the next volume of the main character's transfer to the Woodland Kingdom and the trip to the Hutton Federation in the next volume, which I have already completed in January.

……

In any case, no matter what is said, no matter what happens, it is the author's fault that I have failed to live up to your expectations, and I am sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I didn't ask for your forgiveness, and I didn't want to explain too much, so leaving silently without saying a word is actually the most relaxing, and many colleagues do the same.

As long as you leave it behind, all troubles will be forgotten, and failures and pains will disappear...... The reason why I still do this may just be that I still have small expectations in my heart.

Since you can't be hungry, then go and do something else, and then do what you like on the premise of ensuring that.

Now I will still put my heart into writing about this, and maybe after getting used to failure, I will feel that it is meaningless to even write this, just failure, disappointment, silence, leaving, and that's it.

Hopefully we'll see you again in a year.