Updated in the early hours of this morning, let's talk to everyone.

I believe that friends who have been chasing books also know that Brother Cow's recent update has been unstable.

I have always been tormented by a sense of guilt in my heart, and since I opened the book, since I wrote it, I have a responsibility on my body, a responsibility to the reader.

So I think it's still necessary to explain the situation to you.

It all started some time ago, around November......

At that time, one day I suddenly found that my right hand was very painful, I didn't think much about it, I thought it might be when I was bruised, I wanted to say that it was over, and then I endured it for a few days and the pain became more and more serious, so I had to go to the hospital for examination.

The result of the examination is a fracture of the end of the little finger of the right metacarpal bone, which I mentioned in this chapter, the key is that I don't know when I broke it again, this is the most annoying...... Probably because of the recurrence of an old injury, I used to fracture my right hand four or five times.

Later, because of some personal emotional problems, I was exhausted, basically I didn't have the heart to write novels, every day was muddy, I felt that time should be the lowest day in my life, plus graduation was approaching, it was already my limit to be able to maintain one more per day.

For this reason, I was also complained about not wanting it, a more master......

To get back to the point, after graduation, I have to pack up my things and go home, Brother Niu's home is in Fujian, the university is in Guangxi, and a lot of things have to be sent home one by one, just sorting things out dazzles me, so it dragged on for a few days, and then for some unspeakable reasons, finally I rolled back to Fujian like a deserter.

On December 23rd, I returned to Fujian at one o'clock in the morning, and it was two or three o'clock when I got home, and it was a little disjointed from that day.

I woke up feeling refreshed, and I thought I would be able to stabilize when I got home, but the next problem came again.

Employment.

My sister helped me find a job as an art teacher at an educational institution, and after applying for the job that day, I had a good chat with the boss and decided on the spot.

Later, I went to an art museum, where I used to study art, and I went to see my former teacher.

My teacher told me that if I could, I would like to stay and work in the art museum, and Brother Niu was overjoyed when he heard it, so he agreed without saying a word.

In this way, I have two jobs, plus a small income from writing novels, not to mention buying a house and a car, but how can I survive on my own, right?

A wave of unevenness has risen again and again.

Maybe the elders will have some prejudice against the industry of online writers, they feel that being an online writer is simply wasting time and wasting life!

Brother Niu's family also has some connections, my dad asked someone to find me a job in a TV station, everyone knows that there are five insurances and one housing fund, and I don't need to say how much the provident fund helps to buy a house, not to mention medical insurance and social security......

Brother Cow also knew that it was a good opportunity, but it was for this that Brother Cow struggled for a long time.

Why bother?

Because the position they put me in was a journalist, and it was a ...... Front-line reporters, the kind of people who come and go in the wind and rain, and always fight on the front line......

PS: It's okay in winter, but there are a lot of typhoons in Fujian in summer......

If I did, the renewal of the novel would be a problem, and I didn't like that kind of life.

But that's all the kindness of my parents, and Brother Cow also knows that as a parent, I must want my children to be good, but that's not the life I want.

Online writing is a dream, and I have persevered in my dream for more than five years.

Say a digression, in fact, I'm not afraid of everyone's jokes when I say it, the first novel I serialized on the Internet five years ago couldn't even sign a contract, and I stupidly wrote more than 800,000 words and finally became a eunuch, and the manuscript fee was zero.

The second book also couldn't be signed, and it was written for 300,000, but it was still cut.

Until the third book, I was fooled into going to a dolphin website, signed a sharing contract, wrote one million and thirty-six thousand seven hundred and sixty-one words, and how much did I get for nine months?

6,583 yuan, an average of only more than 700 yuan a month.

Frustrated, he stopped writing for a while, but writing seemed to have become a habit engraved in his bones, and finally he couldn't hold it back, and started writing again, this time in the creation of the world.

It's a pity that after nine months of fighting in the dolphin net, when it came to Genesis, it wasn't even a street, and the application for signing was rejected, and the application was rejected three times.

I was silent for about a month, and during that month, I can say that I didn't think about it, I frantically read books, took notes, filled a whole notebook, and opened another book.

I was lucky enough to sign a contract this time, and I can be regarded as mastering some ways to write online articles.

However, the book is almost streaked from the opening of the book to the shelves, and there is only one mosquito push on the PC side, how many words are written in that book?

2,442,199 words, how much did you get for the manuscript?

Less than 10,000!

Yes, eighteen months, less than 10,000 income.

Until I met my current editor-in-charge, Ash, and when I was most confused, it was Ash that lit up my path.

Later, I opened a badminton novel on the sports channel, but in the end, for some special reason, the book was 404......

And then, this is it.

Along the way, Ash has given me a lot of recommended resources, it can be said that the recommendation has not been broken since the signing of the contract, and it has given me three APP recommendations, this week is the classification of the big seal push, I am not a big god, the big god may not care about those, but for my five-year-old Hit Street, Ash gave me a rare warmth in this cold online literature circle.

It's a pity that I'm not angry, and I've only written more than 3,000 collections now, according to the average subscription ratio of 10:1 in sports, and it's on the shelves with 300 average subscriptions, and it may be even less......

Having said so much, I don't want to cry miserably to everyone, I just want to say that even if I am paved like this, I still don't want to give up this dream.

It doesn't matter if you pounce for five years, the most feared thing is to give up halfway after five years!

Because of my work at the TV station, I talked to my parents several times.

The first time they were moved by me, here are my dad's original words:

Your mother and I are old now, and it hasn't been a few years since I could help you, so you have to cherish it while we can still help you now.

What do you do for writing those novels? Is there an income? Is it guaranteed? Even if you make money in this book, can you guarantee that you will make money in the next book?

I was silent.

Because what he said is indeed reasonable, the few people I have earned in five years are not even enough to eat instant noodles for a meal, and obviously my argument is not convincing at all in front of my dad, the old fritter.

The first conversation ended up being unhappy.

I thought about it for a long time, which is more important, dream or reality?

I began to gradually realize that in fact, reality is really important, people can live 30,000 days from birth to death, including eating, drinking, sleeping, and working, which takes up nearly 20 hours a day, and then throwing away the twenty or thirty years of being old and helpless, and the time that people can spend freely in this life is only a few thousand days.

These precious thousands of days are also used to pick up girls, travel karaoke, go shopping, quarrel, get sick, make friends, fight in groups, play basketball, play games, watch ball games, decorate, chase dramas, chase stars, take care of children, dance square dances, buy clothes, buy vegetables, cook, do housework, hold parent-teacher meetings, catch rape, divorce, remarriage, willows, flowers, and another village, etc.

So why is a dream a luxury?

Because I may have to empty my thousands of days to concentrate on doing one thing well, and all this time I have been thinking over and over again, do I really have this kind of awareness?

I thought about it for several days, and no matter what I did in the past few days, I was in a state of ignorance, and even I felt that I was a little depressed, and even more, I had the idea of suicide for a while.

I know that some people will say that I am hypocritical when I see this, but I must know that everyone has their own way of living, just like that sentence, the world is so big, I want to see it, and the world in my mouth is the world in the online text, and the online article is my world.

I figured it out, I sent a message to my dad at about three o'clock last night, and I won't talk about the content of the message, anyway, today my dad thundered and talked to me for an afternoon......

I don't want my whole life to do what I don't like to do, to live a life I don't want to live, to spend my life in chaos.

Maybe obeying my parents' arrangements will allow me to avoid many detours, but life is like the sea, if there is no waves with the reef, it will lose its original magnificence, and if life is just smooth sailing, it will also lose the charm of its existence.

If that's the case, I don't think it's better to live than die for me.

That's all I had to say.

Eventually, I convinced my dad, and he compromised and slammed the door.

Before leaving, he told me that the path was chosen by me, and that all the consequences would be borne by me in the end.

There are some other words, which are quite heavy, but my heart is relieved, and I don't regret it.

Because as long as I step on the road of dreams, I will finish it on my knees, even if I kowtow and bleed!

I fell down this road, I won't complain, I'll get up and keep walking, no matter how painful the wound is, I'll survive it on my own.

No matter how far the road is, I will learn to bear it and heal myself, because we are all like this, and it is because of this that we learn to grow up.

On this road, Brother Cow has met many people, many like-minded authors, life is like a circle drawn as a prison, many people have come and gone, and people who are still standing in the same circle as me have come to this point......

Left.

But I'm thankful for them, and it's because of them that I've been able to keep going, and my readers......

You know, every time I see a new collection and a new comment, Brother Cow will have a sense of happiness that I can't get in reality, because I am walking on the road of my dream, and I hope it can shine into reality and illuminate my way forward.

It is setbacks that push us forward, and dreams that lead us forward.

I hope that on the road ahead in the future, there will be you all the way.

Brother Cow respects.

2017.12.27