Text/I am Nangong, the remnant red, the morning sun shines through the curtains on the yellowed futon, and the face feels stinging.

I got up and meditated for a few minutes to think about what I was going to do. Do you still need to ask? Brushing your teeth and washing your face to work, that egg-wrenching job.

I always felt that something was missing, at least this was not the life I wanted, at least I had to have faith to fill my heart.

I don't care much about other people's opinions, I live in a completely self-space, and no one can get into it and no one will try.

Why should they? Everyone has their own life, and I have no right to interfere or even bother. Walking down the road and looking at every passerby is the same, it's not a big deal.

Maybe people are like this, busy and busy. I'm always thinking about a lot of things, and I'm as double as schizophrenic.

And then I spend every day on my own, what exactly do I want? That's right, when you die you will understand that nothing matters, money, clothes, the beer you love, the hotel you stay in.

Everything that is desperate to the end is only temporary, nothing can last forever except the universe including the earth, although I don't know how the universe is.

When I saw through this, I only saw the opposite side of everything, which was the ugly side.

Then I became more and more misanthropic, and although I understood the commonplace hypocrisy and ugliness, I was powerless to change, and I could only silently and wordlessly explode in my heart.

And then when I typed those words, someone said I was just there to show others. Oh my God, I don't know.

Whatever you want to understand. I disconnected. Go on. All your assets, all your wonderful money, will return to society after you die, and they will all go into the hands of others, all temporarily.

Nothing is completely yours. I was thinking that since I can't live forever and can't get forever, then the time when I lose is the most painful time, and I was thinking: then do I still want to pursue it, do I want to get it?

Life is more colorful than we think. It can also be more pathetic than we think. Different people, different ideas, different ideas, different values.

I've been wondering what the meaning of human life is. It involved philosophy, so I went to see philosophy... But it still can't be solved, so I personally believe that life has no meaning, it is all the law of nature.

Let us obediently live and meet death. All to darkness and dust. Then life is meaningless.

One day humanity will be destroyed at my own hands, I don't know when or why, but I know if it continues.

Life is a game. When you are born, you have to start. Or give up halfway, that's suicide.

Well, you get it for a while, and then you lose it completely. In the hands of others, they continue this endless game, people come, go, come again, go again.

I'm coming, I'm dead, you're coming, you're coming. House car title costume. That is to say that everything you have is not yours, not even your body, and we will lose everything.

It's going to happen one day. So, you have to ask yourself, when you get promoted, when you spend, when you hoard all your financial bonds, when you buy a high-end villa, when you climb the ladder of success as much as you can, and get to the top, then the excitement will fade and it will keep fading.

And then what? How long will you have to walk this road to see where it leads? Obviously you should understand that there is no end to this road.

So I have to ask myself a question? What's important? It's time for that bullshit to fuck off!

I have heard of someone committing suicide, and many people are talking about it, some say that he can see it, and some people say that he can't see it.

So do the living see or can't see it, and do the people who kill themselves see it or can't see it? I've thought about suicide.

But my cowardice and fear of death stopped me time and time again. So, I still choose to continue to live in this world, and it would be better to continue to choose to live alone.

Then slowly grow old and die quietly. My awakening is that the sun rises every day for the sake of anyone's loss or grief.

You are optimistic and happy, you are pessimistic and depressed. The result is the same, it just depends on how you look at it.

It's the same with everything, what I think is wrong is wrong in my opinion, what you think is right then what you think is right, and if you publish it, you will get positive and negative effects.

I woke up, I knew I wasn't going to do it, but I knew I had to change myself. I will not only pursue money, honor and rights all my life like other people, I want to choose myself to prove myself, I am not pessimistic and no longer dark, I am rational.

Then I woke up on a normal night. －END－