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The farce of the court staff

The cane is a technical job, and the technical gold content is very high, but it is not something that ordinary people can do. There are many people who often have unexpected things happening after being beaten with a cane, for example, there are those who can't be beaten to death with a hundred rods, and there is no shortage of those who can be finished with one rod. In the final analysis, the court staff is a technical job, and there is still something to pay attention to, but it is not something that anyone can pull out casually and get on the job. It is said that the group of people who served as the staff of the court had to go through a year's professional training before taking up their posts, and the training methods were as follows: first find a watermelon, then put a layer of rice paper on the bread, and then beat the watermelon with a stick, keep beating, keep practicing, not only to train the strength, but also to train the heart. This kind of training method is the same as the young man who learns to barber and picks the hair of the winter melon every day.

I heard that the best court cane hand must be practiced to a stick, rice paper is rotten, the sound is loud, but the watermelon has nothing at all, the higher level, that is, the ashes level of the thug, you have to practice to the same watermelon, the board goes down, not only silent, but the melon skin is intact, the rice paper is not broken, but the melon inside is sparse, if you practice to this extent, it will be the thug of the Han general's Tianzi, and the executioner who specializes in "thousands of knives" is the same, it is to be popular with the family of the prisoner.

If you have sent money, or you have a friendship, you will make rice paper, and the skin will be opened, but in fact, it is all soft tissue injury, and you can go out to visit when you go home and apply medicine. If there is neither a photo, but also a personal vendetta, then it is not surprising that you will be beaten with a melon, and the epidermis will be intact and the internal bleeding will be profuse. And later, Jin Yiwei developed the corresponding unspoken rules of the cane, which are: beat, hit hard, and fight with heart.

The so-called beating is what it means, don't take it seriously, just fool around twice and it'll be fine. And the real fight, that is, the real fight, how to come, anyway, after the fight, you have to lie down for a few months before you can go to the ground. The most powerful thing is to fight with your heart, as long as it is this password, you can basically prepare for the future, and you must not be soft.

And the Ming Emperor used the most is to fight and really fight, after all, the face of the person killed is not good-looking, and the literati pen is like a knife, in order to beat a person is written as a faint monarch, a tyrant, it is too much to lose, because of this, civil officials often have nothing to fear, if there is nothing to write a song to scold the emperor, deceive a court staff, just a few hits on the ass can move the world, this is a speculative activity with extremely unequal investment and returns. People who have been beaten by the court cane can raise their chins by three more points when they go out later, because they can proudly declare: "I think back then, I once refuted the great son of heaven speechless, and the son of heaven had no choice but to beat people to get angry." "Everywhere you go, you will be greeted with admiration from the crowd like the stars and the moon.

Because he was far more familiar with the court staff than Yuan Dahai, and he was convinced that he would not be killed, the officials and scholars who took the initiative to ask for a stick for him were fearless, and under their provocation, Yuan Dahai had a temper attack and resolutely decided to fulfill them.

He doesn't care what he fights, he fights hard, he only fights with his heart, he only cares about one, and that is to fight to the death

No matter what the big consequences are after this beating, let's take this breath first, these eight lambs, I really don't know how many eyes Ma Wang Ye has, carry a lantern into the thatched house in broad daylight, you fucking idle and have nothing to do - looking for shit (death).

If he said that he still had some respect for Wan Liao, but for these people who came to join in the fun, he really had nothing to say to them.

Sheng, still a little spirited, literati, it's a night pot for the night.

Chongzhen said that all the readers of the Ming Dynasty should be killed, this may be too much, but if you want to kill half of it, there will definitely be no wrong.

The court staff is ten thousand burns, that is, to kill a hundred people, and the intention is to kill people to establish authority, but now there are dozens of people who are not afraid of death, if you don't fulfill them, the effect of this court staff will be greatly reduced.

Yuan Dahai can't afford to lose this person; This time, Dongchang can't lose it

Lan Guoan was startled when he heard that Yuan Dahai was going to take these dozens of people together with the court staff, and reminded him with some worry: "Lord Qianhu, the emperor's will is only one person with the court staff, but now Qianhu wants to bring these people together with the court staff, I'm afraid it's not appropriate, otherwise, let's send someone to the palace to ask, otherwise Qianhu is afraid that it won't end well." "He kindly reminded Yuan Dahai that the court staff is okay, but the dozens of irrelevant ones are also canned, the impact is too great, it is best to ask Wei Zhongxian, and it is good to feel at ease afterwards if there is a quasi-letter.

Yuan Dahai said helplessly: "If you can persuade them to disperse, this official will naturally not care about them in general." ”

"This..."

After glancing at the excited officials and soldiers, Lan Guoan shook his head, looking at the posture of these people, if they don't get their wish today, I'm afraid that the East Factory will avoid them in the future. There is a lesson in Jiming City, and Lan Guoan is naturally interested, so he won't say much at the moment.

"Since Chitose handed over this matter to the official, the official is fully responsible"

Glancing at the guys again, Yuan Dahai snorted coldly, and told Lan Guoan to fetch the stick used for the court staff, what the consequences were, he would bear it.

After hearing this, Lan Guoan hurriedly asked his subordinates to find a stick. There is a warehouse for the Han general to store the sticks in the noon gate guard room, so there is no need to bother to find the sticks temporarily, just use them.

After the stick was taken, the crowd was once again in a stir.

"See, this is the torture stick used for the court staff"

"If you get this stick, you will not be shaken in this life"

"The one wrapped in iron is amazing, and you can tear off a big piece of skin with a stick..."

The thick sticks made of chestnut wood did not frighten the officials and scholars who had decided to "sacrifice their lives" in the slightest, but they became even more excited, and they looked at the sticks with interest, whispering and pointing as they watched. The gesture is as if you are appreciating a landscape painting, which makes people laugh.

"Dongchang Eagle Dog, you pretend to be the emperor's prestige, fox fake tiger might, how can we be a righteous man and a gentleman, how can I allow you to do whatever you want for me Huang Darong is a plan for the Ming Dynasty, I am willing to follow the purity of this snow, the majesty and righteousness of the gentleman, and be willing to accept the court staff so that the people of the world know where the justice of my generation is coming and going, don't say more, I am willing to be a ghost under your stick"

Seeing that the people in Dongchang were ready, Huang Darong looked around, obediently, those guys were waiting, and he was busy and provoked Yuan Dahai again, and almost pushed the tips of his fingers to Yuan Dahai's nose, looking righteous and awe-inspiring.

As early as when the people from Dongchang went to get the stick, he calculated that when the stick arrived, he had to take the lead no matter what, and it was best to provoke this Dongchang fan to beat himself before the court cane Wan Xian, so that today is the Great Perfection

Die? How can it be that I didn't sparse on the master, and I didn't scold anyone, and if I borrow you ten guts, you don't dare to beat me to death, it's a big deal to peel off the skin, but it's worth it

Those officials and scholars were looking intently at those big sticks discussing, and when they heard that Huang Darong was going to take the lead again, they were all anxious: Who the hell is this, why is he so unreasonable, can you get this good thing alone? You're still not letting people live

A scholar who came with Huang Darong jumped to Huang Darong's side desperately, and shouted to Huang Darong with a generous face: "Brother Huang, you are a few years older than your younger brother, and your body has always been thin, how can you be tortured like this?" Or the younger brother came first Brother Huang is casual, if the younger brother has three long and two short, please also ask Brother Huang to write a letter for me to return home, there is no need to say much in the letter, but it is worth saying that my Qiu Ying's death is worth it"

Before he finished speaking, a member of the Ministry rushed over and said in an official tone: "Both of them are models of reading people, and the official has seen two young talents in his lifetime, and he really feels excited and excited. Xingzai, Xingzai, I have a saver in the Ming Dynasty" After the big hat was delivered, the words turned sharply, and he said his true intentions: "This official is not talented, but he is by no means greedy for life and afraid of death, so he is willing to be punished with the two of them so that the world can know my Lingyun Zhuang, so that he can also leave a name in history and leave his name for eternity."

"I'll come... I got it... I would like to be punished with all three."

Seeing that these three people were going to take the lead, and each one was more righteous than the other, the crowd suddenly became anxious, they quit, and more than a dozen hula poured out, anxious to ask themselves to be beaten first. The words in the mouth are also better than the other, but if those righteous and awe-inspiring words are excerpted one by one, I am afraid that I can immediately compile a "Book of Righteousness at the Punishment of the Noon Gate".

Because the scramble was too excited, who cared about whom, a fat man was pushed to the ground by his companions and fell into a dog and ate. Getting up from the ground, he didn't care to scold the companion, and the fat man hurriedly shouted: "Don't fight... Don't argue... It is difficult to live together, it is easy to die together, and today everyone is punished together" He saw that it was impossible to grab the first punishment today, I just hope that everyone will not forget him, and they will go together, and no one will want to take the lead

"Seeing that the young man is so disregarding life and death, the old man doesn't do anything, how can he be a human being" Cheng Ge Guozhu, who is almost sixty years old, didn't know where he got the strength, and chatted with an old man like a teenager Huang Darong was thrown behind, standing in front of Yuan Dahai, looking at each other angrily.

"Your Excellency is the pillar of the country, if you want to keep this useful body for the future, why bother to die here, or let us who have no merit splash the blood of Lord Wumen in the future, so that we can express our grievances to the Son of Heaven for us in the future."

The officials and scholars who were anxious to receive the court staff didn't care about Lord Ge's gray hair, and in line with the principle of no particular ranking, they instantly squeezed Ge Guozhu to the back, so angry that the old man stomped his feet, and almost scolded the world for going down, and the world was going down

“……”

Everyone wants to grab the first stick, everyone wants to stand out from the crowd, and no one refuses to be left behind, for a while, dozens of officials and soldiers are actually entangled, you push me, I push you, the scene is suddenly chaotic. Not only did the fans of Dongchang look straight, but the onlookers who were sober and afraid of pain couldn't help laughing.

It's a farce, it's a farce, it's a farce, it's really beyond everyone's expectations, and it's really bizarre and bizarre to turn the punishment of a good "loyal minister" into a hundred ugly pictures of living out...

Seeing the feat of taking righteousness for the country turn into a farce, Wan Xian was so angry that his face turned green, his waist didn't hurt anymore, and his mouth was sharp, and he raised his arms and shouted: "Nonsense, nonsense Dongchang is ordered by the court to me, what kind of fun are you coming to join in!" Today's court cane is on me, and you can't defy the law."

As soon as I heard this, everyone was dissatisfied, why can you be punished, and we can't say who is messing around? We are disregarding our personal safety and fearless of the feat of power, and we have defied the law, according to your words, dare to love your court staff is deserved?

"Kong said Chengren, Meng said to take righteousness, you can sacrifice your life for the country, why can't we?"

"That's it, why do you say we're fooling around?"

"Under the whole world, it is not the king's land, and the shore of the land is not the king's minister. We are the same as adults, we are the people of the Ming Dynasty, the country is in trouble today, the Xianchen is wronged, and the country is in trouble, and we are waiting to stand up and ask for justice, how can we make nonsense You Wan Liao doesn't make it clear today, we are not finished with you"

Yes, this has been done by people and Wan Liao, and his words have been supported by some people.

"Don't fight"

Things have come to this point, it's just like that, if it goes on like this, will it be over? Yuan Dahai didn't bother to listen to them arguing over right and wrong, he decided to come out and say a fair word, took a step forward, and said with a smile: "Everyone is justified, what everyone did today is out of righteousness and righteousness, so this official has decided to fulfill you, and the person who petitions to receive the court rod with Wan Liao will lie down on the spot so that the person can walk the cane, so as not to disappoint everyone..."

"Good, good, good"

As soon as they heard Yuan Dahai's words, the officials and soldiers who rushed to be tortured suddenly felt very cordial, you see, the people in Dongchang were fair enough and quickly fell to the ground one by one, and some of them also took the initiative to tie their trouser belts, so that it was convenient for them to take off their pants.

That becomes, group P.

Yuan Dahai held back a smile and slowly retreated, and the crowd of onlookers also slowly retreated under the scolding of the fans.

"Walking stick" Yuan Dahai waved his hand and asked his subordinates to do it.

The problem is that he hasn't explained how to play, and the gang of people who executed him is not the "thug" of Jinyiwei's profession, so it is necessary for Lan Guoan to ask clearly what kind of play method this court staff is. How to play Wan Liao, and how to play others?

"How? Hit or hit? Lan Guoan said a term.

Yuan Dahai smiled: "Fight to death" As soon as the words fell, the tips of the two boots were retracted inward, and suddenly, those executioners understood that this was a signal to fight to death, so they stepped forward and ripped off the pants of Wan Liao and the officials and soldiers, picked up the stick and smashed their buttocks.

"Horn Horn Horn"

The farce of the court staff