Today, let's talk about ideals and reality. Pen | fun | pavilion www. ｂｉｑｕｇｅ。 ｉｎｆｏ

Let's talk about the motivation for my decision to write a novel.,First of all, my life is the same as my pen name.,It's a waste plus otaku with no lofty ideals.,The biggest dream is to eat and wait for death.,Introverted and inferior.,I don't have a friend who makes friends.,When I was in school, I was watching novels and animations every day and laughing without skin and face.,But my heart is actually extremely empty.,I can only fill it with fantasy.,But fantasy is fantasy.,I can't find a reason to live.,I once wanted to commit suicide.,But I don't have the courage to commit suicide.,I can't let go of my parents.。

At that time, I was about to graduate, and I was still eating and waiting for death every day, and then I happened to read the book "Genius on the Left and the Maniac on the Right", which interviewed the mentally ill, and there was a worldview in it that the world was illusory, and we were actually virtual characters, and the memories in our brains were also made up in advance, maybe you were just born yesterday, but the illusory memories in your mind made you think that you had lived for many, many years, and I was shocked at the time.

I'm not saying that I agree with this worldview, but it makes me think of something new, and since I hate this world, I always feel that this world is too boring, so I wonder, is there a way for me to create another interesting fantasy world?

I didn't want to be a creator god, I just wanted to find a sustenance for my soul, I fantasized that if I could create my ideal world in my lifetime, maybe I could continue to live in that interesting world after I died?

So I set a goal for me - ten years, to find my ideal world within ten years, and then write it out.

It was this kind of thinking that made me start writing novels, but I didn't really know what kind of world was interesting, so I decided to practice with the world of WOW first, I like this game very much, and I have had many fantasies about this game, and I always fantasize about what would happen if I crossed in, but it was mostly just a small fragment, and I had to think seriously about writing a series of stories.

Then I started writing, and since I spent most of the time in the meeting, I didn't write much until I graduated, and I didn't send it out until the end of September.

I thought that with this kind of dream, I would be able to persevere, because I had never dreamed in the first half of my life, have you ever had that kind of confusion that has no pursuit?

I started writing, for the first time in my life, I had a pursuit, I thought I wouldn't care about other people's judgments, and I thought I could support myself by writing novels, but that's just what I thought.

I thought that my current failure was nothing, what failure is the mother of success, persistence can be successful, I found many reasons for myself, I thought that as long as I persevered, I continued to enrich myself and there would be a successful day.

But the reality is that I'm a stupid dog, I wasted the most precious time, and I didn't earn a penny, in fact, even if I can have an income of two or three thousand a month, I can explain to my family, but I don't have a penny, I want to write novels as a formal job, but obviously I'm not this material, no one can escape money in this society, I don't care about face, I don't care what others think of me, but my parents can't, my family and relatives are sneering, no one can understand me, the elders always use their values to restrain me, But I don't even think about whether that's what I'm pursuing, I can't resist this pressure at all, I'm always a waste, evasive, timid, hesitant, and then I compromised, I went to work, but I still have a trace of fantasy in my heart, I resolutely don't look for overtime work, in order to squeeze out a little time for my sad dream of escapism, everyone knows that good jobs in this society are exchanged for life, and the jobs I find basically have no future.

I don't know if my choice is right.,This book has been getting more and more written recently.,Began to prepare the second book that I thought was more aimed at the market.,In fact, if I wasn't writing the second book, I'd be five or six thousand a day.,Although I know that I didn't even finish the first book and opened the second book is basically a street product.,But I still fantasize about what if the second book succeeds? If I can support myself in the second book, wouldn't everyone be happy?

I know that's what I thought again.

I think things are always failures, I think too much, I have too little knowledge, my expression skills are too poor, I really want to squeeze out time to enrich, but how can I waste time, I have too much time to waste on writing novels, sometimes I just think, this life will be a chaotic past, but I am unwilling, really unwilling......

Life is the process of chasing death, only in a hurry for decades, I don't want to suddenly find out that I haven't lived seriously at all when I'm old, and then sigh and sigh, I hope I can face death safely.

I don't know if these words should be sent, deleted and copied, back and forth many times, but think about it, let's send it out, it's too long, and it makes people feel comfortable scolding two sentences.

Said a lot of nonsense, more than a thousand words of nonsense really stained everyone's eyes, I'm sorry.