It's been almost a month since I came to this so-called organization similar to the Mercenary Guild, but as for how I feel that time flies so quickly, even I don't know, there seem to be a lot of things happening in this month, of course, all of them are what I have heard, such as the last city in Fran City was breached, and I'm afraid I know the names of these mercenaries, of course, the most I can't remember, for example, the girl in purple is called Levy, who is a very powerful swordsman, And the little eyes when I came on the first day, although I don't know the name, but it is said that it seems to be a very powerful killer, I really can't imagine it, this person is actually a killer, but imagine that Cammy and Arigus before, I can't help but feel a little wooden, and then there is the guy who is not drunk in charge of managing the guild, called Zes, this name is like a guy in a mythical story, what kind of ability is there, I don't know, but I feel that it should not be weak, right, But the only thing I feel like he's supernatural at the moment is drinking with others. Pen ~ fun ~ pavilion www.biquge.info

The midnight wind always blows like that, but what is the real thing that is hard to say? The dark sky seemed to be like a huge black curtain, and although I don't know if the reason why it shone from above my head was to beat myself up, the only thing that was certain was that people were placed in this small and pitiful space for some reason of special happiness.

The person next to me seemed to be still stating some reason to me, muttering something in his mouth.

"Anyway, that's too much......

His tone was that atmospheric, but I lowered my head, but I didn't care, what is excessive? Do you continue to inflict misfortune on the unfortunate? Then I may have endured this misfortune for the rest of my life, but this misfortune is only because I understand what it means to be true.

Maybe it's like she said: "Is it cool for a happy person like you to put on this face every day that everyone else owes you a lot of money?" ”

So what is happiness in terms of fantasy? I don't know, but I don't think true happiness can be achieved by a guy like me, and I can still see the deep red furrows above my palms, which seem to be indistinguishable from pig's paws.

"Speaking of caves, how's that, how's that? If you have the ability, you can go! ”

"Why don't you dare? You can't even hold a wooden sword? ”

"You don't have people who eat white rice here, you guy who can only eat white rice, it's really ......"

That angry tone seems to be still in his ears. And I knew that if this guy hadn't stopped me, Levi would have beaten me.

The reason is only because I said a word about something related to their mission.

She's going to have that tone that almost killed me.

Although I still want to think about these things as happily as possible, and use a casual expression to make myself look brave, but ...... This feeling was like that time, it was so uncomfortable for me, as if the feeling in front of the white sheets was so helpless.

At that time, I was like now, standing on the street, with no penny in my pocket, lying in the cold grass outside the palatial hotel, thinking of my mother who had just disappeared before my eyes, whether I should cry or feel sad about the cold and biting environment around me.

The shriveled stomach had already let the empty gastric juice constantly torment him, and the lights of the busy city lights shone on his body, like a flowing knife on his body.

In the dark of night, no one would pay attention to such a homeless man lying on the ground casually.

And that body seems to have been stung by the biting cold wind, maybe in that next moment I will be frozen, I don't know if it was the feeling of yearning to live in the bone-chilling cold that made me stand up, or the emotion of wanting to stand up and understand the world again made me stand up, I just remember, looking at the buildings that seemed to be towering into the sky.

Yes, there are so many houses in this city, but unfortunately none of them belong to me, although the world seems to be so beautiful, but only so, and such beauty really belongs to me?

That day, I exchanged the only remaining shirt on my body for a bowl of chaos to eat, originally I wanted to use a coat, but the boss said that the coat was too old, and it was still an old man who was setting up a stall under the lamp outside to see me too pitiful, saying that my shirt was newer, and I exchanged the shirt for ten yuan to eat a bowl of chaos.

I'll admit it was the best Chaos I've ever tasted, but I actually remember that the soup was so salty, and I knew it was the taste of my tears, and I didn't know how much of it flowed out, or how many tears I swallowed raw.

In short, that time, I didn't even let go of the coriander leaves at the bottom of the bowl, and ate them all in one go, and even licked the chopsticks several times.

After that, I even wanted to cry again......

I can already feel the tears that linger in my heart, but the wind from the tide is so cold to the bone, at that moment, I have to admit that man is a very sad animal, in order to live, he can even give up the right to express sorrow.

So I lowered my head and buried my chin in my deep arm as I do now, and kept looking at the bluestone bricks on the ground with only my eyes left.

I always think that I am stronger than anyone else, but once I face real difficulties, I find that I am just that powerless self, I will be afraid, I will be afraid because of external objects, I will care because of other people's words, I will feel lonely when others don't care, no matter when......

"Levy doesn't speak lightly, don't you care...... After all...... After all......"

The guy seemed to be trying to persuade me, but I knew that what Levy said wasn't wrong at all.

I'll admit that I've always been a terrible scumbag, but now I'm going to be so submissive because of this, isn't it really a little too happy to live?

"No...... Levy wasn't wrong at all. ”

"I'm so happy to live a little bit ......"

"Not really......" The guy seemed to have that tone at all times, as if he had been saying this and that kind of thing by his side when the weird man asked him to help him more.

Looking at his clear and flawless face, it was as if he was really ready to care about anything, with a feeling that made people feel as if he had some kind of emotion, and said calmly one sentence at a time.

"So...... I decided that I should go there. ”

"Hmm...... Well? ”

The man didn't seem to be prepared to hear, he didn't seem to be prepared to hear the kind of thing, and after a cry of amazement, he suddenly looked at himself and said.

"You're not kidding anymore, are you?"

Under the moonlight, this guy seemed to look at me with disbelief, and on that pure white face, I couldn't see any contrived expression on this man's face, whether it was the slightly brownish-black hair or the black eyes, as if to show that this man was really worried about me.

But in fact?

I don't know, I don't want to think about it anymore......

"You know, the reason why Levy is angry is because there are more than twenty people dead in that damn cave......"

"Really?" I looked at him, and it seemed that I really didn't want to say a word, because I didn't know how to describe my feelings, because I also wanted to prove that I wasn't a waste, but I knew that it was really a difficult thing to do, after all, no one wants to live under the care of others, and neither anyone else nor myself would have such thoughts, because just that kind of gaze is enough to kill a person mentally.

Just by virtue of my ......

It seems that I feel that I am still so afraid in my heart, because this kind of world is really not what I can do, everyone here seems to be so strong, and although I want to exercise, but every time I fight with them, I always find that it is really not something that can be made up for through exercise, but because of this exercise, the body that still can't get strong is always ridiculed.

I know that I was born very weak, even if this kind of body, although not very strong, but I have understood that this kind of body is my limit.

Although, I also understand the truth that the strong hone their minions and the weak hone their wisdom, but it is still very difficult for me to play with the crossbow like that little eye, after all, I never thought that just the hand crossbow would sink to such a point, of course, the fact that the crossbow can't even be pulled away makes the people around me laugh.

I didn't think about anything else......

I just want to be stronger, I don't want my world, I don't even have my own choice, I didn't think about making guns, but in the end, ** is made, but to expect to be able to use ** to make a musket, that's unrealistic, as for making rifled guns, I'm afraid it's not even.

At the very least, the musket needs qualified steel, qualified iron-making, and qualified metallurgical means, otherwise even if the so-called "musket" is manufactured, I am afraid it can only be used as a bomb.

After all, the power of the so-called ** is not great, and more quantities are needed to make up for it in order to cause effective damage.

Although, I prefer to make **, because this thing can basically be made in those days as long as you buy some gasoline at the gas station and mix some ammonium nitrate in it, and its power is called the king of explosives, you say it can be worse there? But it's a pity, although the ammonium nitrate can still be held out after holding it with all your heart, but the oil separation tower ......

Forgive me...... I don't seem to have any memories of those years......

But even so, I had to embark on this journey again, and the reasons for that were ......

I understand......

I just don't want to be a person who is content with the ordinary, I just don't want to die out of the world like this......

So......

(To be continued)