Xue Fei:

Hello!

It may be a bit abrupt, but my heart insists that I call you that, even though I fear that you might not be upset about it.

Well, it seems a bit of a stretch, and I think you're wondering who wrote you such a letter without a beginning or end, or you could think of it as a love letter, if you're not angry - that's exactly what I was dreaming of!

You must be wondering who wrote this letter.

Actually, I would love to tell you - it's me, but I don't dare, because I'm afraid.

I was scared, because I was scared -- so afraid.

I'm scared, because at our age, it's the age when teachers and teachers focus on it, and there are some things that are not allowed or can happen, even if they are really simple.

However, in today's society, it is precisely this kind of thing that teachers and teachers hate.

In their eyes, we are just children who don't understand anything, or at most are ignorant.

Although they have the responsibility of education, they have never been willing to let us know something that we should know, and they will only do everything possible to hide it, and try their best to prevent such things from happening, as if it were a crime, and once anyone commits it, they will become the target of public criticism, as if they can no longer live under the beautiful sunshine.

In their eyes, we, the students, only need to remember one thing, that is, to study, learn the knowledge prescribed by the syllabus, master the knowledge prescribed by the syllabus, and then go through the assessment stipulated in the syllabus again and again, and finally it seems that we have something that can determine our own destiny.

Speaking of which, in my bones, I am very disgusted by such an argument, but I am implementing it to the letter, and I am going on step by step according to such steps.

And this is the reason why I have wanted to write this letter for a long time, but I have never dared to.

I am afraid that this letter will affect your life and disrupt your study status.

I don't want to put you in an embarrassing situation because of my impulsiveness, which brings you unnecessary troubles and burdens.

But Wo really couldn't hold on.

You must not know who I am, I have imagined how confused you were when you opened this letter, and even had a terrible idea that you would assign this letter to a certain boy, but that boy was not me.

In fact, I wanted to write such a letter to you for a long time, because I didn't dare to tell you in person.

But it's not an easy thing to do because I don't want anyone else to know.

As a result, a lot of problems arise.

The first and most important one is that I don't even know what grade or class you are in, let alone your name.

In fact, I was sure it was you, and it took a long time to figure it out.

The first time I remember you, it comes from our first collision - not the collision of sparks, or the collision between the two of us, in the cafeteria in a fortuitous collision.

I remember that day, I was going outside to wash the dishes after lunch as usual, but in the middle of the hall, I was hit by a red shadow.

At that time, I didn't notice this situation at all, I just felt that my body was hit, and before I could understand what was going on, the red shadow flashed in my arms, and the figure of a girl with a ponytail quickly left me, and I didn't even see a trace of the side.

By the time I came to my senses and turned to pursue it, there was no one to be found.

I stood staring at the door for several minutes, very melancholy, thinking that I had lost something in my heart, but I had lost something.

It was the first time the two of us met, and it was an accident, an accident that was purely accidental.

However, it was such an accident, but it made an extra figure in my mind, a fiery figure, lingering for a long time.

During the day, I would suddenly see the vague fiery red figure in my mind, and at night, sometimes I would see the fiery red figure in my dreams, but it was still blurry and I couldn't see the real face.

I knew I was caught in a mysterious maelstrom, one that I was absolutely not allowed to treadle at this time.

I know that's not a good thing, at least that's what my years of education have told me.

So I resisted, rejecting the fiery figure that appeared in my mind, the temptation of that mysterious vortex.

I worked hard to persevere, hoping that I would not make mistakes, that I would still be a good student in the eyes of my teachers, that I would still be a good student who focused on my studies, that I would achieve brilliant results in the big exam in three years, and that I would have a bright future.

I persevered, thinking that in this way, I would soon be free from the entanglement of the fiery figure.

However, whenever it is time to eat, whenever I walk into the school cafeteria, my eyes will always unconsciously glance around a few times, and I will always unconsciously look forward to the reappearance of that fiery figure, even if it is only for a short moment.

I knew that I had lost, that I had lost to the fiery figure, and that I had lost to the mysterious maelstrom—that I had fallen into.

I no longer be myself, I try to find the fiery figure that impresses me with my heart, in the cafeteria that provides three meals a day, in the big playground where I gather every morning, and in the after-school campus, I try to find the fiery figure that impresses me with my heart.

But day after day passed, but I still had no clue, the collision of the day, the fiery figure, all were my fantasies, empty fantasies.

I hesitated, I was frustrated, I wanted to give up, but I couldn't force myself no matter what, I couldn't force myself to believe that everything was just an illusion, like a dream, beautiful but nothing.

But the more I wanted to give up, the more I found that I couldn't forget the fiery figure, and the more the longing in my heart became stronger.

I brace my spirits and continue my clueless search, hoping only to meet you again.

I don't know if I was moved by my sincerity, but one day after countless disappointments, Lady Luck finally came.

When the fiery figure came into my eyes again, I was sure that it was the person I was looking for—I was so sure, without the slightest suspicion.

I thought I was lucky enough to be satisfied.

However, the moment your delicate and beautiful face appeared in front of my eyes with a gentle smile, I knew that I was finished.

That bright and soft smile ignited the youthful fireworks in my heart, making me addicted to it and unable to extricate myself.

At that moment, I was excited about my persistence, and if it hadn't been for it, maybe, I wouldn't have waited until this day.

While I was excited, I didn't forget that this was just the easiest beginning, and I didn't know anything about you, and this is what I need to work on in the future.

I'm afraid that others will know about it and be publicized everywhere by them, so I can only find a way to secretly understand everything about you, and I don't dare to mention even a little bit in front of others.

It's a bit of a difficult process, after all, I've only seen you twice for the first time in a long time, and it's in a public place, not an easy place to make inferences like your classroom.

My first step was from the cafeteria, because it was my blessed place, and it was a lucky place for me to meet you.

I quietly changed the time and speed of my meals, just to be able to grasp your eating habits so that I could have more opportunities to see you.

I was really lucky to say that my classroom was next to the cafeteria, and because of my eyesight, I was always placed in the last row, and I always didn't like to move my position when I sat by the window, which happened to allow me to see the cafeteria door and the students passing by the cafeteria gate, and this became a breakthrough for me.

Soon, I came up with the first time I could meet you regularly – 11:15 p.m., with an error of less than 1 minute.

This is the time when you go back to the dormitory after lunch, and usually at this time, you will pass by the staircase on the other side of our classroom building, and this point is the only place I have to go to the cafeteria.

So, in the next time, until today, I will always appear around that corner at the most accurate time and meet you by chance.

Every time I pass by that place, my heart beats violently, both expectant and nervous, looking forward to the appearance of your figure, nervous about your mistakes.

Every time I see you, my heart will be excited, and the whole person will be bathed in the spring sun, full of vitality.

If I hadn't seen you, I would have lost my soul, and my whole person would have lost my life, and I would have no energy for everything.

Such a day, there is endless happiness in the suffering, which makes me tired of it, and it seems that it is my greatest luck to be able to meet you.

In the days that followed, in order to be able to see you more, I tried my best to find out more time and place of coincidence.

I don't know if you've noticed, but every morning, I meet you at the staircase of your school building.

I don't know if you've ever noticed that every day at noon, when I'm washing the dishes, I'll show up at one of the faucets next to you.

I don't know if you've noticed that when you come out of the dormitory at noon to go to the school building, you can still see me passing by at the staircase of your school building.

Suddenly, I remembered one thing, in order to have one more chance to see you, and in order to avoid one less chance to see you, I even engaged in the "deed" of abusing power for personal gain -- every few days, I would take advantage of the opportunity to check the hygiene and "reasonably arrange" the time, so that I happened to meet you at the gate of the girls' dormitory and rushed to the teaching building.

……

I think you're aware of all this, right?

I didn't dare to linger on your face for more than a second, but in that brief glance, I could see your gaze on me, with a smile—a smile that made my heart tremble.

Even, once, by the faucet outside the cafeteria, one of my classmates waited for you to leave, and suddenly asked me if I knew you, I was very nervous at the time, and said "I don't know" very simply, as a result, the classmate asked very strangely, "Then why does she keep smiling at you?" ”。

At that time, I was very excited, but on the surface, I still pretended to be calm and told him that maybe he was wrong.

I don't know what your smile means, it's the kind I want in my dreams, or if it's something you come naturally, or even just my delusion, but I really like your beautiful smile, and every time I see your smile, my heart trembles slightly, and I want to have your smile forever.

……

I've had so many opportunities to see you, but there's one problem that I haven't been able to solve for a long time, and that's that I still don't know your name.

Later, according to the classmates around you who changed from time to time, I finally determined that you were in the same grade as me, which meant that you would not be my senior sister, and provided me with the necessary conditions to know you better.

It's still a daunting process, and even though I've found out that you know some of the girls in our class, I don't have the slightest idea of getting your name or anything more out of their mouths.

I'm still alone, trying to find out your name.

Just when I was distressed that there was really nothing I could do, God actually gave me another wonderful opportunity.

The school's fall sports day is about to start, and I suddenly feel that maybe I can find out your name through this sports day.

I wonder if you'll attend, and pray that God you will.

Some time before the Games, I kept up with you on a "normal encounter" all over campus, because I wasn't in a position to get to know you better.

With less than a week to go, I finally got my chance.

I asked for a roster from the sports commissioner with a list of all the students who participated in the Games, along with their numbers.

I pretended to be flipping through the roster with the other classmates, and when I saw your class, I skipped the list of boys, focused all my energy on the list of girls, carefully looked at every name and number, excluded everyone I knew, and then prayed that you would be one of the others.

……

The Games will be held as scheduled, and I am searching for you, hoping to see you appear.

The morning of the first day, without you!

On the afternoon of the first day, without you!

The next morning, there was still no you!

The next afternoon, still without you!

On the third day, I was nervous all morning, praying and looking forward to it, and I still didn't see you playing.

There's still an afternoon -- no, it's half an afternoon, it's only half an afternoon, and the Games are over.

On that day, I don't know how I started the last half of the afternoon, the only thing I remember is how excited I was when you finally appeared in the long-distance running arena in the number 262 - I almost burst into tears at that moment, but I was forced to hold back when the corners of my eyes were slightly moist because of the large number of classmates around me.

Speaking of which, the Games were only two weeks ago, which means that although I have known you for a year and a half, I have only just learned your name.

I've been secretly in love with you for so long, and I've never said anything to you.

It's not like I haven't wanted you to know that there's someone who's secretly liking you for so long.

But I didn't.

I'm scared, I'm worried.

I am always afraid of this and that, and I always remember that at this stage, it is extremely inappropriate to talk about such things, because we are all students, students who are about to take the big exam, and children and students who carry the hopes of parents and teachers.

I was afraid that the so-called misstep would become a thousand years of hatred, even though I didn't think it had anything to do with it.

What's more, I'm still worried that once this matter is known, especially your parents and teachers, it will definitely have a bad impact on you.

I don't want that to happen, that outcome, not what I want.

It seems that the lights are going out, and I am really tired of writing so many words in the bed, and I have to prevent my roommates from noticing.

Writing so much, it feels so messy.

I heard the sound of Uncle Caretaker making rounds, and the lights were about to go out.

One last word.

In my heart, I mustered up the courage to write this letter, just to let you know that there is someone who secretly likes you.

I don't know how you'll react, but I'm happy as I expected? Or am I worried about the annoyance? Anyway, I hope my actions won't cause you trouble.

The footsteps are getting closer and closer, and I really have to stop writing.

Finally, I wish you well!

LYF

Evening of xx/xx/xx of xxxx year

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