After finishing his work, Jiang Dingshan went home when it was close to dusk, stepped into the small courtyard where he lived, saw his wife sitting at the stone table in the courtyard, her eyes slightly closed, one hand twisting the rosary, one hand hanging in front of the lower abdomen, the mouth was chanting, there was a brass incense burner on the stone table, three incense sticks were burning in the incense burner, the cigarette smoke was swirling, it was blown away by the breeze in the courtyard soon after it rose, the evening sun shone obliquely on her body, and a long shadow was pulled out behind her, there were maids standing next to her to serve, seeing Jiang Dingshan come back and just about to say hello, Jiang Dingshan waved his hand, signaling not to alarm his wife, sighed in his heart, and shook his head helplessly. Pen ~ fun ~ pavilion www.biquge.info

Since his daughter left in childbirth, it has been more than eight years, and his daughter has deviated from the norm, and the ugly things of the Tan family boy have gradually faded a lot with the passage of time, the so-called flesh and blood family affection is inseparable, when the anger disappears, the longing for his daughter will also be irrepressibly grown, although in front of others, he can still have a straight face, posing as the majesty of the head of the family, but in the dead of night, when there is no one around, he often thinks of his daughter when she was a child and laughed and played with herself, coquettish and cute, and couldn't help but wet in her eyes, My heart hurts.

Was it wrong to do it then?

Maybe people like to recall and reflect on the past when they are old, over the years, he will always flash this idea from time to time, especially when he sees other people's children getting along with their parents, in the past, when this thought flashed, he always subconsciously reminded himself at the first time, 'That's right, what he did is right, compared with other big families who value family honor, There was nothing wrong with the disposition of myself at that time', but as this thought appeared more and more often and more frequently, this self-hypnosis, self-anesthesia, became less and less effective.

As for his wife, the situation is much clearer than he shows, women are emotional, national affairs, family honor, in women are often no match for a 'love' word, what big truth, what the overall situation, can not compare to their own flesh and blood, so since the death of his daughter, his wife has never given herself a smile on her face, blaming his daughter's death on him - the so-called tiger poison does not eat children, even if the daughter's behavior is deviant and shameful to the world, but since the matter has happened, It's a big deal to keep my daughter at home first, and after a long time, things will fade, with the Jiang family's family strength and wealth, are you afraid that you can't find a son-in-law who is willing to come to the door, although it shows that there may be no way to marry a happy event with a big face, but it's better than not having someone to talk to now, right? And what makes Mrs. even more unforgivable, when she learned that her daughter was pregnant and missed the best time to have a baby, the husband did not say that he should let his daughter raise the fetus well, and gave birth to the child first, but he secretly got his daughter to the countryside where there was a lack of medical treatment and medicine, and the life was hard and closed, and the result was a corpse with two lives, not only the daughter was gone, but even his grandson passed away without having time to look at it, regardless of the family affection, complaining that the old lady is too strict, there is only family law in his eyes, and there is no family affection. For this reason, the two people don't know how many times they have quarreled, how many times they have quarreled, and then they have been in trouble for a long time, and people have been skinned, and secondly, Jiang Dingshan knows that he is wrong, and he can't reason with his wife who has lost his daughter, and always takes an attitude of avoiding and retreating, and the number of times the two people quarrel is not so much, but the knot has been formed, and there is a lack of ways to vent emotions, so the wife will start to eat fasting and chant Buddha, burn incense and chant scriptures and worship Buddha every day, saying that it is to atone for his daughter and his grandson who has not met, and hope to be reincarnated in a good person's house in the next life. Don't suffer the sufferings of this life anymore, and suffer the sins of this life. In this regard, Jiang Dingshan has no way to solve it, and secondly, he also hopes that his daughter will be happy in the next life, so he acquiesced to his wife's behavior.

Standing on his wife's side, Jiang Dingshan did not interrupt the other party, although he did not believe in Buddhism, but he became a good doctor after a long illness, and listened to it many times, he almost remembered several Buddhist scriptures that his wife often recited, today his wife recited the "Diamond Sutra", listening to the content is about to come to an end, he plans to wait for his wife to finish reading, and then go into the house to eat together.

"Subodhi. Yu Yiyun He. If so, is there a naked eye? So. World-honored. There is a naked eye. Subodhi. Yu Yiyun He. If there is a heavenly eye, no. So. World-honored. If there is an eye in the sky. Subodhi. Yu Yiyun He. If you have a discerning eye, no. So. World-honored. If you have a discerning eye. Subodhi. Yu Yiyun He. If there is a dharma eye, no. So. World-honored. If you have a magic eye. Subodhi. Yu Yiyun He. If there is a Buddha's eye, no. So. World-honored. If there is a Buddha's eye. Subodhi. Yu Yiyun He. All the sand in the Ganges is said to be sand no. Such is the World-Honored One. For example, sand. Subodhi. Yu Yiyun He. Like all the sand in the Ganges, like the Ganges. It is the world of all the Buddhas of the Ganges. If so, it is better to do more. A lot. World-honored. The Buddha told Su Bodhi. All sentient beings in the land of Ersu are aware of certain kinds of minds. Why. For example, all minds are non-minds, and the mind is called the mind. So what's the case. Subodhi. The past is unattainable. Now the heart is unattainable. The future is unattainable......"

Mrs. Jiang doesn't know how many times she has recited this scripture, she has already reached the level of being familiar with her chest, reciting it like a stream, her eyes seem to be open, not closed, her hands are knocking on the wooden fish to make a pleasant sound, the voice is not slow, it is very rhythmic, with the scriptures of the Diamond Sutra, it is easy for people to fall into a heavy and solemn state of mind.

“...... The heart of the past is unattainable, the heart of the present is unattainable, and the heart of the future cannot be obtained......", this situation and this scene suddenly gave rise to a feeling of loss in Jiang Dingshan's heart, 'Those who abandon me, the things of yesterday cannot be left; Those who disturb my heart, today's things are more troublesome', the past can't come back, the future is unknown, can only grasp the present? So what about the past? It's good if you can forget if you want to, but the question is, can you forget if you want to? It is said that there is Meng Po soup where you can forget everything in the past, and it would be great if it was sold in the world, but it can only be drunk when you turn from a human to a ghost and then reincarnate from a ghost. My daughter has been gone for eight or nine years, has she been reincarnated as a human being, has she drunk Meng Po soup? Have you forgotten your ruthless and incompetent father? ......

With a sigh, Jiang Dingshan felt physically and mentally exhausted. (To be continued.) )