() Very interesting cousin series, from the "Dream of the Tang Dynasty", I think it's very interesting, and I specially send it to everyone......

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My cousin told me that many celebrities finally couldn't bear to leave China, and I hurriedly asked: Do these people have ,,, who work in machinery, chemistry, astronomy, factory workers, farmers, build walls, sell vegetables, and drive? My cousin thought for a while: No, they are all writers, poets, painters, editors, lawyers, screenwriters, and well-known ,,,。 I let out a sigh of relief: the backbone is still there, what to do with him.

Bet with my cousin: You see, I will be happy if I go up and slap him. I went up and slapped me and scolded: Americans. The public knew that he was happy to cover his face. My cousin said do you dare to smoke again? I went up and smoked again: British. It's fun to be known. The third time I smoked: the Germans. My cousin was not convinced: As long as he says that he is a foreigner, you can smoke him, and I can do it too. And then the cousin went up with a big mouth: the North Koreans. My cousin was beaten badly

My cousin asked me: Why are there not as many fans who refute rumors as there are rumors? I said, "Don't talk about these useless things, read this book, you can read the historical records and tomb robbery notes." My cousin replied cheerfully: Tomb robbery notes. I laughed; You see, people like to see things that haven't happened.

I said: The country is actually progressing. My cousin said coldly: Progress is to let me eat gutter oil. I said: The lives of the common people are improving. My cousin sneered: Improvement is to let me eat leather shoes. I said: a lot of people are trying to build. My cousin sneered: Construction makes me the periodic table,,, I pondered for a long time and said deeply: Brother, can you stop eating at street stalls all the time!

My cousin said: The United States has saved China three times, the truth! I said: I have also saved you three times, and the first time I and a few buddies whipped you, I was the lightest. The second time a bully beats us both, you put your body in front of me and hand me a stick in the back. The third time you fell out with my enemy and vented my anger for me, I waved the flag and shouted for you. My cousin is grateful: Brother, thank you. I laughed and said, "I'll save you for the fourth time now, give me my wallet, it's dangerous to bring money to the street."

The cousin looked at the back of the long time and scolded: This despicable and shameless yīn is sinister, vicious, hypocritical, cunning, full of fat, dignified, sanctimonious, innocent, unbearable, sweeping the ground, clever words like springs, clever words, turning the rudder with the wind, squandering money like soil, bullying the weak, and domineering officials. I praised him for his literary style and posted this set of words on Weibo. The cousin then said longingly: How good it would be if he were our relatives. I said sternly: The latter sentence is pinched and broadcast, although it is very true

My cousin came to my house for dinner and was furious when he saw the dishes I cooked: According to Mr. Zhao Chu's theory, you made the dishes so beautiful in order to cover up the truth that the ingredients are all poisonous foods. I think what he said is very reasonable, and every time he comes to the house to cook him a meal that looks like, he can eat it with confidence. A month later, when he went to the mall with his cousin, he was in a hurry to go to the toilet. I waited outside for a long time, and my cousin came out and said lightly: It's not as delicious as what you made

How are you, dear cousin? I haven't been on Weibo recently, and I say you listen to some things. The U.S. Embassy has been peacefully liberated and has been transformed into an Environmental Protection Agency. Kato, who used to be simple, is now also learning from the public knowledge. It's the college entrance examination these days, and those who don't take the exam are busier than those who take the exam. The United States wants to fight Syria, why is it the country that throws bombs. The above is all nonsense, in fact, I will say one sentence: the wheat harvest is coming, and I must come to help

As long as you believe in the United States in your passport, Germany in the oil-paper bag, South Korea on the tip of your tongue, rìben in the summer camp, India on the zìyóu train, Saudi Arabia without the second generation of officials, Iraq in ruins, Afghanistan in peace and happiness, and Libya in peace...... Then there must be a hellish China in your eyes

My cousin asked: Why are there so many Republic of China fans on Weibo? I thought about it: in their eyes, the Republic of China is the Republic of China of masters such as Liang Qichao, Hu Shiyan, Yan Fuzhang, Taiyan, Lu Xun, Shen Congwen, Chen Yinke, Liang Shuming, Zhao Yuanren, etc., not the Republic of China of Zhang San, Li Siwang, Ermazi, Dog, Leftover Father, and Second Mother. The cousin said: It's like Weibo is the Weibo of a person who shows his conscience and plays justice with a rumor-mongering marketing with V, not the Weibo of a colleague sitting opposite the third sister of the neighbor's second brother market aunt and uncle's house

Chatting with his cousin at his house, he heard the shouts of the grocery shopping downstairs. The cousin scolded: The incompetent security guard put the *** hawker into the community again. I'm going to call to complain. Five minutes later, security arrived. My cousin took out his mobile phone and turned on the camera and rushed to the balcony, I asked: What are you doing? My cousin said excitedly: I want to take a picture of the security guards driving away the vegetable vendor and post it on the Internet, for the poor vendor. I praised: You are the conscience of China

Walking around the street with my cousin, I saw a few puppies playing on the grass. I said: I really don't like dogs. The cousin scolded: Dogs are man's best friend, dogs are the best comfort for the soul, you don't like it! Do you have anyone xìng? Do you have a conscience? Do you understand life? I was ashamed and red-faced. My cousin patted me on the shoulder and said kindly, "It's not all your fault, you must not have drunk delicious dog broth in the winter!"

I asked my cousin: There is such a person, who pretends not to be from his own family, but from other family members. Picky and even harsh on his own family, tolerant and generous to others. Always be modest and cautious when you have a good thing in your own family, and often make a big splash about a good thing in someone else's family. Resolutely crack down on some bad things in your own family, and help cover up the bad things in other people's homes. The cousin said: This person is either Lei Feng or a public knowledge! I praise it: everyone knows that they are all living Lei Feng!

We have faith in this zhèngfǔ. He gave birth to countless masters, Hu Shiyan, and Fu Zhang Taiyan. He cultivated countless military geniuses: Zhang Lingfu, Wang Yaowu, and Huang Wei. He has countless financial experts: Song Ziwen, Jiang Jingguo, Kong Xiangxi. He has walked out of countless diplomatic geniuses: Song Meiling, Gu Weijun, and Wang Shijie. He has countless social philanthropists: Du Yuesheng, Huang Jinrong, Zhang Xiaolin. He had countless friends who were powerful countries: the United States, France, England, and then there was no then

I want to buy a QQ for commuting conveniently. My cousin said in a deep voice: Don't forget that there are still children in the eastern mountains who can't afford to go to school. I said that I would wear it when I bought a designer suit. My cousin grieved and said, "Don't forget the children who can't eat in the western mountains." Crossing the overpass and saying that we both gave 5 yuan for food, my cousin said sadly: Many children who look down on the sick on the death line. When I went to his house, I saw a vase and casually asked about the price, and he replied casually: 200,000. Three minutes later, the vase pawned, for the sake of the child

When I talked to my cousin about Scarborough Shoal, I said that I should fight the Philippines, and he scolded: nationalism. I changed my words: it's better to sit down and talk. He also scolded: appeasement. I thought about it for a while: talking while fighting, talking and fighting. He scoffed: wall-riding. I looked at him admiringly and asked, "Master, what should I do?" My cousin lit a cigarette and walked slowly to the balcony, looked at the sky deeply, and said slowly: How do I know this? I sang: I have a cousin in my family, peerless and dúlì

My cousin said to me: The Philippines is a small country, and now in the face of the military and economic threat of the superpower, it is calm and calm, and it still firmly says no to China, I admire it, this country has not fallen! I laughed and said, "Brother, have you ever seen someone tied to a tree and beaten?" I can't fall down even if I want to, and my body hurts even though I'm standing, which is the most fucking painful

My cousin said: The Eight-Nation Coalition brought a breath of fresh air to China and brought a flame of mínzhǔ! In particular, I am grateful to the United States for providing part of the reparations to help build Tsinghua University, China's largest institution of higher learning. I argued with him, but finally beat him, took away his valuables, and threw down 20 yuan before leaving, and said affectionately: "Buy the victory of the book mínzhǔ." After that, my cousin saw me and was more affectionate than before! I like someone like him who knows how to be grateful

Talking to his cousin about Huangyan Island, he was sad and indignant: Is the problem of poisonous cow nǎi poison capsules solved? Has the demolition problem been solved? Is the price rise solved? What does the territory have to do with me? I said: What do you think about the war in Iraq? The cousin is righteous and stern: this is a noble war that is free from low-level tastes! I am very touched by the bloody struggle for justice by the beauty ** people! I interjected: I have a sense of God for you who is not self-interested and specializes in benefiting others

I told my cousin: China has lodged solemn representations with the Philippines on the issue of Scarborough Shoal. The cousin scolded: Internally, then NB will protest externally, there is a kind of fighting. Ten days later, I said: There are signs that force may be used. My cousin scolded again: The use of force has nothing to do with me, I robbed the oil and sold it to our grass people at a high price. I'm very strange: why do you scold or not? My cousin smiled: I don't care what China does, anyway, as long as he does something, I will scold!

At the end of the Ming Dynasty, scolding the imperial court was a status symbol. Regardless of right or wrong, dare to scold, you are a real celebrity. If you haven't scolded the court, you're embarrassed to greet people when you go out. When the Manchu Qing Dynasty entered the customs, except for a few who were martyred abroad, the others did not scold. Changed to shout that the master is sage, and the call is so smooth. Even if he is exiled to Ningguta by his family, he must thank the Lord Longen. What do you say these people are trying to do?

I asked my cousin: Why do many people start to rush up to the negative news when they see negative news, whether it is a rumor or not, no matter how unreliable the compilation is, and finally complain: What is wrong with this society! The cousin lifted the short-sighted glasses on the bridge of his nose: it was instinctive, this kind of person was similar to a dipteran insect, and rushed up at the sight of human or animal food waste. I scolded: What is cultured, isn't it just a fly seeing

My cousin often told me that during the national crisis, education spending was second only to military spending in fiscal expenditures. I said: Even if this is true, isn't the stomach of the common people more important than education? The cousin snorted: Ignorance. A certain rì went out on a donkey trip with his cousin and went around in the mountains for three days. Finally found the exit cousin has been exhausted. So I went to a nearby town alone, ate three bowls of noodles, and bought a book for my cousin to bring back

The liberal arts student suddenly talked about the little bar at the foot of the Alpis, suddenly recited Shakespeare's heroic double line in a pure London accent in a deep voice, and suddenly the feather fan shook his eloquence and roughly pointed out Liu Bangcao Cāo Caesar Napoleon. The woman in white listened adoringly. He went on to say: I hate mechanical BMWs, vulgar chemical drink Coke. The woman smiled and said, "I would like to walk with you on the country road and drink the morning dew." So, when I opened the room, I found that there was no Du Lei

Captain Si visited the homes of ordinary villagers in Iraq. I came to the door of a dilapidated house and saw an old lady inside. The captain immediately told the entourage to stand back, and then respectfully asked the old man, "May I come in?" -- This question has revealed the true meaning of human rights, and no matter how big your official position is, no matter how high your status, you must respect the human rights of every citizen! Otherwise, any human rights are! We have to believe this story, although it is believed that 17 people died

My cousin wanted to write a Weibo post with a high number of retweets, so I could give me an idea. I said: PS Zhang Chengguan beating the picture. My cousin said: I don't understand high technology. I came up with another idea: to make up a piece of history, such as committing a crime for Liu Wencai Wang Jīngwei. My cousin blushed: I don't have that much imagination. I had no choice but to come up with a killer idea: write that today is the sacrifice of a certain celebrity, whether today is or not, whether the girl dies or not. Let people mourn. My cousin happily wrote: Mourn Obama

The first time I fought with my cousin was in the vegetable market, and many people watched with my fists and feet, and I shouted in a hurry: Don't think that if you are the chengguan, I am afraid of you. The crowd beat my cousin badly. The second time was a fight in the hospital, and I shouted angrily: Don't think that if you are a doctor, I will be afraid of you. My cousin is still miserable. Yesterday in the parking lot, as soon as I quarreled with my cousin, he shouted: Don't think that I am afraid of you if you drive a BMW. I was beaten badly by the driver.

I went to visit the Forbidden City with my cousin, and suddenly saw a familiar figure. I pointed it out to him: this is a high-ranking official. The cousin scolded: This grandson must not have bought a ticket. I was busy saying; He is Ambassador Ka Fai. The cousin is full of smiles: holding the child's hand, what a warm picture. I came out of the Forbidden City and bought two meat buns, which my cousin couldn't swallow. I explained; Actually, it's called a hamburger. My cousin said, "Two of you don't have enough to eat." I hurriedly went to buy him another cup of Starbucks soy milk

And said to my cousin: Selling human flesh is not illegal, and the rìzi who is illegal to sell dog meat is coming. My cousin wondered, I didn't bother to explain a few simple sentences: save the dog on the highway, sell the proposal of YINhe legalization. Cousin Daxi: Eat less dog meat and more Piao Chang, mínzhǔzìyóu Ben Xiaokang.

My cousin suddenly woke up, and I was shocked: Aren't you dead? My cousin said: Yes, I came to heaven in a daze, God said that only those who believe in Christ can enter, I was busy saying that I was a fan of Sun Haiying, and God was angry and drove me to hell. There are too many people in hell, and the security guards are maintaining order, a row of Han Han's literary and artistic circles, a row of political circles with dúlì personality, and a row of entertainment circles with SQ...... The security guards didn't let me in. So I lived.

Walking on the street with my cousin, suddenly a vicious dog pounced on me and bit my cousin. I picked up the brick and was about to smash it, but my cousin shouted: Don't smash it, first study whether it is a husky or a wolf, otherwise you will be laughed at, like Shandong**. So I went to the library...... Half an hour later, my cousin died......

I asked my cousin what do you think of these ordinary netizens on Weibo who are full of righteous indignation, raising the stick of morality and waving the flag at every turn? My cousin smiled: I don't go on Weibo, I don't know. But I've seen a group of people in the market scolding the chengguan who evicted the hawkers, and the crowd was excited. Suddenly, someone shouted that the two girls were fighting, and the crowd instantly shifted to onlookers, the picture was fresh, and the picture was the pleasure of complaining. I said, "Cousin, you're very real!"

Chatting with his cousin, he said that he had won a great victory in the bloody battle against Yuhuatai. I hurriedly went to the study to find information and refuted it sentence by sentence. After a while, he talked about the impact of the Three Gorges on the warming of the weather and the drought in the southwest, and I hurriedly turned on the computer and searched for the number of refutations against him. In the end, he said that Long Yingtai's great rivers and seas are a good book that reflects the truth, and I was busy taking out Li Ao's great rivers and seas to deceive you. I was sweating profusely, and my cousin said calmly: When you blow NB, if you are serious, you will lose

My cousin Xìng Ge has a bit of low self-esteem and wants to go out to a party with friends and asks me how I can show a sense of superiority to be looked up to. I give a few suggestions: 1, scold the Chinese for being low, so that you appear superior. 2. Whoever speaks is against it, so it seems that you are outstanding. 3. Tell me about the fact that the moon in foreign countries is relatively round, and it seems that you are well-informed. The cousin said; What if it doesn't work? I laughed; Then you run naked, who understands art, who dares to look down on artists

"I want to expose the darkness of this society, and I want to be the conscience of this country, even if most people are singing and dancing and flattering. I also want to tell the truth, be alone and be the child in the emperor's new clothes, not afraid of the sarcastic eyes around me." I said. My cousin praised: That's a good point. I pointed to the people around me: Look at these poor Chinese, they are not wearing clothes. The cousin said calmly: Brother, it's time to take medicine. This is a bathhouse

My cousin broke the law and asked me for help, so I quickly found the best lawyer. The lawyer conscientiously studies the facts of the case, delves into the legal provisions, and writes a good defense statement. I am satisfied, sue cousin. My cousin was furious: You want to trick me, if the lawyer is useful, I will do something to you scoundrel. I was puzzled, and my cousin begged: go to the media, write jokes, and sensationalize...... Half a month later, the matter was resolved. Unexpectedly, the law on top has always been at my feet

My cousin asked me: Han Han's blog post says that everyone is a good person, but now they are all regarded as scolding words by the grass people, in fact, everyone can be a public intellectual? I'm impatient: Han Han is talking about public toilets. The cousin is calm: public toilets are also good, and they shouldn't be insulted? I smiled and said: If you hang a sign on the public toilet: Ten Mile Piaoxiang Hotel, and still pull you to eat? Don't you scold?

Chatting with his cousin at his house. Speaking of Yao Jiaxin, his cousin said that in this evil society, he will not die for his crimes. Speaking of Wu Ying, my cousin said that in this evil system, she will not die for her crimes. Speaking of the Nanjing headshot brother, the cousin said that in such a dúcái country, he is not guilty of death...... After talking for a long time, I got up and said goodbye before leaving: I borrowed a hundred yuan from you a few days ago and I couldn't pay it back a few years ago. My cousin's face changed drastically: If you don't pay back tomorrow, I'll kill you.

After reading the Weibo post about stopping a car and saving a dog, my cousin and I were very touched by their love. So on a dark and windy night, we got on the highway and stopped a car. I asked the driver aggressively: Do you have a business license, do you have a quarantine certificate, and these puppies in the car are not stolen, right? The driver scolded: You can see clearly, this is a special car for the personnel of the animal protection organization. The cousin hurriedly apologized with a smile: I'm sorry for the mistake, which slaughterhouse are you sending them to?

My cousin is going to be on Weibo, so ask me for precautions. I talked about a few points: don't talk about common sense with literati, don't talk about writing with poets, don't talk about reason with angry youth, don't talk about people's livelihood with jīngying, don't talk about love with petty bourgeoisie, don't talk about IQ with fruit fans, don't talk about self-improvement with Xinu, don't talk about the truth with jì, don't talk about hooligans with artists, don't talk about Wei Gang with opinion leaders, don't ,,, my cousin sighed: Brother, don't talk to me about Weibo in the future.

In the car, I talked to my cousin about the British prisoner, and my cousin said to be tolerant. Talking about the uncivilized foreign buddies who play the violin, the cousin said that the individual does not mean anything. I talked about the Koreans beating women at KFC again, and my cousin was angry: You Boxer! I couldn't speak for a while, and spat out the window fiercely. The cousin immediately said in a deep voice: This is the Chinese of Su zhì, what's wrong with this society!!