Chapter 34: The Hand of God
The next round of the game is to play Tianjin TEDA, which is a team with a tough style but third-rate technical ability. Pen, fun, pavilion www. biquge。 info
Even if you don't need any medicine, it should be relatively stable to defeat the TEDA team.
But does it really work without medication?
In the first half, the Shenhua team fell behind 0-2!
An away bug is a team that doesn't play well away from home.
It's a pity that Shenhua is this kind of team, and it used to be called an air-conditioned team, which was nicknamed because the players couldn't run when it was hot.
I looked through the medicine king football system, and I saw a bottle of medicine, called, Football Suddenly Shrinking Medicine.
As we all know, during the operation of football, it will be deformed due to the action of force, but very few football will change from large to small due to the action of force.
However, if the ball can quickly become smaller after a shot, it can greatly increase the difficulty of the goalkeeper to save the ball.
How small can this bottle of medicine make the ball?
I had to dispense the medicine first, and the raw material was to ask me to catch a dog that defecated in the open and teach it a lesson in etiquette and shame!
Sure enough, a dog lifted one leg and revealed a small dingding, and peed there.
I immediately rushed over, pointed to the dog and said, "People are humane! Dogs have dog lanes! The time has not yet come for good and evil to be punished! ”
The dog didn't seem to understand, blinking and barking at me a few times.
I continued: "In the human world, we say that we want Kong Rong to let the pear. In your dog world, we also pay attention to a first-come, first-served, what does it mean, a few male dogs and a female dog, then you have to queue up, right? That's the rule, you know, don't urinate next time! ”
I quickly prepared the medicine and gave it to the Shenhua team.
At the beginning of the second half of the game, I saw Guarin shoot at the goal, and the ball became as small as a table tennis ball in the process of flying, and after entering the goal, it became as big as before!
Tianjin players surrounded the referee and said that the ball must have leaked just now, how could it become so small?
The referee pointed to his eyes and shouted, "I'm not blind!" I saw that the ball was still the same size. ”
It's really the same big, I snorted.
Then the score changed quickly, and the game ended, and the Shenhua team scored six goals in a row in the second half.
6-2 away win over TEDA.
At the press conference, the reporter asked me, why did the Shenhua team start to exert its strength in the second half?
I smiled and said: "This is called accumulation, late strike, our Shenhua team thinks we are like Bolt, at the beginning of the slow half beat, but in the back but a blockbuster." ”
Next up was the match of the Chinese team, and after qualifying from the group, we met the Asian powerhouse South Korea.
At the pre-match press conference, the reporter asked me what I thought of the game.
I replied: "In the senior team, the Chinese team is afraid of South Korea, but in the football World Cup for primary school students, I want Koreans to be afraid of China!" ”
I stretched out ten fingers, and the reporter asked me, do you mean that you predict that the Chinese team will score goals in about 10 minutes?
I replied, "No, I'm predicting a 10-0 victory." ”
In order to beat the Korean elementary school football team, I need to find a very good bottle of medicine.
I looked through the Medicine King football system and found heavy machine gun charges.
Heavy machine guns, known as "medium machine guns" by the United States, Britain and other countries, are machine guns equipped with a fixed gun mount and can fire continuously for a long time. Compared with the light machine gun, the weight is heavy, the gun carriage is stable, the heavy machine gun belongs to the suppressive firepower, the general shooting is in the form of surface coverage, its shooting accuracy is far inferior to the rifle or assault rifle, the advantage of the heavy machine gun is that the rate of fire is high, the firing range is long and the duration is long, and it is more convenient to carry out transcendence, clearance, and scatter shooting. It is mainly used to annihilate and suppress the living targets, firing points and thin-walled armored targets of the enemy group within 1000 meters, block the communication arteries, support the infantry impact, and if necessary, it can also be used for anti-aircraft shooting to annihilate the enemy's low-altitude targets.
If you take this medicine, then the Chinese team's shot will be as fast and fierce as a bullet fired from a heavy machine gun!
If I want to make this medicine, I must catch a salty pork knuckle!
I went to the subway station and saw a male student, weighing more than 200 pounds, he followed the beautiful girl, and then lifted someone's short skirt and touched someone's PP.
Okay, you groping, I rushed up and punched him hard, but I couldn't knock him down at the age of 10!
Fortunately, there was a passer-by next to him who came to help.
Caught this groping pig hand.
Good dispensing, competition!
I saw that the Chinese team's shooting after the opening was like a heavy machine gun, firing wildly.
The ball flew like a bullet into the South Korean team's goal.
The final score was 10-0!
At the press conference, of course, there will be reporters who take a questioning attitude and ask me questions.
I'm used to it.
I saw a reporter ask: "Coach Zhang Xiaoyi, why is your team so powerful now?" Able to play 10-0 in South Korea! ”
I replied: "The gap between China and South Korea should be like this, I have a population of 1.3 billion people in China, and we have a large number of good seedlings. ”
The reporter asked in disbelief: "Even the German team can't play the South Korean team 10-0!" ”
I laughed and said, "At the level of primary school football, the Chinese team is a knife to kill chickens, don't mind!" ”
The opponent of the Shenhua team in the last game is the Changchun Yatai team.
The Changchun Yatai team can only be said to be a fish belly unit.
This time I had no medicine for the first time. The score has been 0-0!
Why, no goals will be scored without myrrh?
I quickly opened the medicine king system, and I saw that a bottle of medicine was very suitable.
The name of the medicine is called, Hand of God.
On June 22, 1986, in the 1/4 finals of the World Cup in Mexico, Argentina vs. England, Maradona scored the ball with his hand into the goal of the England team, and the referee ruled that the goal was valid, which is the famous "Hand of God" incident. Later, the situation of scoring a ball with a hand in a soccer match and it was mistakenly judged to be valid was called the "hand of God".
Dispensing this medicine requires me to do a very fun thing.
I hung pictures of horses and rabbits on the wall, then drew circles on the lower bodies of the two animals, and threw them with darts.
A dart plunged underneath the horse. Snap one and stick it underneath the rabbit.
Then I started dispensing and administering medications.
Soon, Cao Yunding flew up and dunked the ball into the net like a volleyball!
The goal works! The referee shouted.
The Changchun Yatai team quit and yelled around the referee, and was punished by one person.
At the press conference after the game, the reporter asked me: "Zhang Xiaoyi, the goal scored by your team was scored by hand, what do you think of this goal?" ”
I smiled and said: "The goal was brilliant and the point was that we scored with our hands when the rules on the pitch didn't allow it, it was all our luck, I bet the referee didn't see the obvious handball, we can only say that we were so lucky." ”