M. 28 Broken heartstrings 4
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'Alive?!hmph!, do you think I'm alive now?' but I didn't expect Kang Lele's answer to be even more unsharp. Pen @ fun @ pavilion wWw. ļ½ļ½ļ½Uļ½Eć info'I've been playing the piano for as long as I can remember. Long before babbling, the notes were my language, my words, and I wrote them with the strings and keys, expressing my joys, sorrows, and sorrows. The world only thinks that it is a good fate and a good talent for me to reach the top as a teenager, but I don't want to think that it is not easy for a person to control his body as he wants, let alone the cold strings. It has taken me twenty years, countless hard work and sweat to do this. I've always believed that it was all worth it and that it would pay off one day. The reason why he decided to pick up the violin again despite the difficulties was not because he was proud of his talents, but because he believed that God would reward his hard work. It's not the self he has a two-year gap now, what he believes is that he has never wasted a day in twenty years. Until today. His sign language stopped abruptly. Recalling that in the morning, the musicians of the club went from insinuating at the beginning to undisguised disdain and slander, and then turned into a full house of laughter, which made him feel like a clown jumping off the beam. The great humiliation I felt at that moment has not been calmed down even after a whole day of wanton venting at the cost of destruction. It wasn't until today that I realized that what I thought I was playing was, when in fact my fingers couldn't do even the most basic intonation. It wasn't until today that I realized that what I believed and gave was no more valuable than a joke. My time and sweat aren't for the fun of a bunch of self-righteous mediocrities, but that's what it is. I'm just a joke. And this is not the most ridiculous, the most ridiculous thing is,' his hand stopped in mid-air again. Since he was mistakenly transported to this time and space, he has either been giving up on himself and complaining about others every day, or eating and waiting for death to have nothing to do, and the only thing he can feel is these days, when he is busy trying to pick up the violin again. Although in the end these efforts proved to be futile. And I can only feel a glimmer of existence in these futile efforts. That's what makes him feel the most stupid. The world was so cruel to him, and he was still trying to live seriously, thinking of this, he couldn't help but let out another snort. Not to anyone, just to mock yourself. This kind of recreation is strange to everyone. So I'm not going to struggle anymore. He thought he could, but in fact he was powerless to find even the slightest bit of life in the despair of losing his hearing. This point, no matter what time and space you are in, how many times you revisit it, it is the same, and there is no way out.
- I'm not going to play the violin again!