1. Queue up to go to the toilet on the train. A girl came out and shook the water in her hand, I went in, and I didn't find the faucet after the incident, alas2, "I feel like I'm like a girl masturbating to this exam." "Why?" "I'm not sure." “……”

3. There is a big mirror on the wall of the bedroom, and there is a bag on the fart of bedroom A, after taking a shower, I turn my back to the mirror and open the underwear with my hand to see what kind of bag is at the bottom, and I was bumped into by roommate B. ”

4. One day, the dormitory boss woke up and said: I had a spring dream last night! Dream of a group of beautiful women surrounding him!

At this time, the second child came up with a sentence: Surrounded but not raped! Hurry you! …

5. In the afternoon, my husband rode the tram and took me out, there were many insects in the summer, just walked not far, my husband stopped and rubbed his eyes, I saw that he was blinded by insects, and hurriedly said gently: "I'll help you blow it" Unexpectedly, the guy turned around and said coolly: "It's night!" ”

6. When you are in a bad mood, find a few express hotels and turn over the "Do Not Disturb" and "Please Clean" signs hanging at the door of all rooms.

1. One day, Zhu Bajie went to the bookstore to buy books and told the clerk to give me a book on parenting, so the clerk gave him a guide to raising pigs.

2. How is the diameter of a cigarette determined, and the answer to this question is amazing. Human sucking** will bring pleasure, and cigarette processors have the idea to locate the diameter of the cigarette**. How to determine the size of the thick and long cigar, if you know the answer, please send the answer to the big windmill column group at No. 7 Wanshou Road, Beijing.

3. The slogan of the underwear store: The underwear is good to choose, and the husband comes home early......

4. When you are in a bad mood, look for the season, for example, if you go out on a bicycle to hang out, for example, this morning, in order to look back at the big white girl with beautiful legs under the miniskirt on the sidewalk, you hit the same express hotel in front of you, and turn the "Do Not Disturb" and "Please Clean Quickly" signs hanging at the door of all rooms to it.

5. Warm reminder in summer: If you eat Fan Bingbing, you will be able to do Durala.

6. Summer is really a dangerous season, for example, riding a bicycle to hang out, for example, this morning in order to look back at the big white girl with beautiful legs under the miniskirt on the sidewalk, I hit the uncle in front of me who also looked back, fortunately, it is a fellow person, we look at each other and smile and understand, with an expression you understand, no one has scolded anyone, and the national quality is brilliant and sublimated at this moment.

7. A girl just looks for a boy because of his handsome appearance, which is called aesthetics; And the boy takes a fancy to the girl because of her appearance, which is called lustful.

8. Speaking of blind dates, someone introduced a program ape to Da Meng, and then the program ape sent her a resume......

9. When the enoki mushroom was eaten, he roared angrily, 24 hours later, I am still a hero!

10. Tell you girls secretly, if you have a boyfriend who likes to play online games, if he doesn't call you much to call you out, but, one day, he suddenly calls you and asks you to come out to play, don't think too much, the server must have started to maintain......

1. If I don't work hard, I can't raise my son, because if one day my son says, "Mom, I beat my classmate, and his parents will ask for 100,000 yuan in medical expenses." I can just say, "What!" 100,000! Give you 400,000 and hit 3 more times!! "I'm going to fight hard to be such a great mom! Come on! Yes!

2. A lady buys something at a deli and says, "Please give me some sausages." ”“ok！” The meat seller said, starting to slice the sausage, "Stop me when you have enough." ”

The more the sausage slice was cut, the guy asked, "Is it enough?" ”

"No, please cut some more." When a large sausage was more than half cut, she shouted, "Alright, I'll just need these last two slices." ”

3. Last night, I dreamed that I was chased by a group of big men who were five big and three thick, and after chasing them, I beat the sack on the head, and then I woke up immediately, oh I went, I was in a cold sweat, and then I fell asleep unconsciously...... After a while, I saw the big man waving a sack and said, "Yo! Do you dare to come back? ”

As a result, I didn't dare to sleep all night......

4. I finally found my authority last night, and after they heard what I said, they didn't dare to squeak, I said, "I must wash the bowl for tonight's dinner, and no one is allowed to grab it." As a result, none of them dared to squeak. 1. You can party with the iron buddies without any scruples, even if God Kan arrives on the third watch, no one will urge you to go home, which not only consolidates the friendship, but also revisits the single life of the hairy guy back then; 2. When the neighbor knocks on the door and shouts that there is a shortage of three things, he can immediately give a positive reply, and he does not need to ask his wife for instructions; 3. On the night when there is a good ball game, you can see the peanuts in your left hand and the beer mug in your right hand, and you can see your eyelids sinking with shouting, without worrying that someone will come to grab the remote control * to watch the drama with you; 4. To wash your own clothes, you can learn how to make a washing machine within one day, and have a comprehensive understanding of what kind of detergent is used for clothes of different textures, increase your knowledge and broaden your horizons; 5. The sleeping place is temporarily transferred from the bedroom to the sofa in the living room, and the preferential conditions are that you do not have to wash your feet before going to bed every day; 6. If a female colleague calls occasionally, you can learn to chat a few words in one day, without worrying about swearing that you are only a colleague with that woman afterwards; 7. The biggest advantage is that you don't have to accompany your wife to the department store on the precious weekends for the time being, saving a lot of pain from running around before and after carrying large bags and small bags; 8. When walking on the road and a beautiful girl passing by, you can boldly take a few more looks, and you don't have to worry about being twisted your ears; 9. Be able to taste various brands and flavors of instant noodles in a few concentrated days, and know the characteristics of different products well; 10. Pick a beautiful gift and say a few sweet words to bow your head to your wife and admit your mistakes, which not only improves your aesthetic level and exercises your eloquence, but also enjoys the warm moment of reunion.

1. The goddess who has been secretly in love for a long time says that her boyfriend is sick and so sad. I said it's okay, just change to someone who isn't sick. As a result, I ended up on her blacklist......

2. My boyfriend loves to play games, I called him today, and after chatting for a while, he said that he was going to play games.

I was a little annoyed, and I knew how to play games and play games! Is the daughter-in-law important or a game?

This thing said slowly that the daughter-in-law is important, so I only dare to play games, not my daughter-in-law.

3. I was going to get a certificate with my girlfriend, and I just had a good talk with her, and I said, "Have you thought clearly?" Are you sure you want to get a license with me? ”

She nodded solemnly, and I was relieved. I said, "After that, you can't just break up when you quarrel and get angry." ”

She said, "I know, I'm going to talk about divorce." ”

4. His boyfriend's mother asked him to send 2,000 yuan home every month. I called him yesterday and said he wanted to buy me a ring, and I said that your mother asked you about the money, what did you say?

He replied, "We have helped the disaster area."

You're TM's talent disaster area......

1. Today, I went to Adi ** silk to buy shoes, and I saw a Qingfeng Cool Running series of shoes, the soles have a few recessed holes for quick-drying drainage, I like it.

When I was about to buy it, my mom suddenly said, "What if you step on............

2. I got up on Weibo and found that the wifi at home was gone, so I quickly ran to the living room to see what was going on, and it turned out that my father unplugged the power of the router.

Dad triumphantly said to Mom, "It's much easier than knocking on the door every morning and asking him to eat." ”

3. Mom: "How long do you have to sleep as a rabbit cub?" Hurry up and get me up. ”

Son: "Mom, I'm in a bad mood, I want to be quiet." ”

Mom: "Oh...... Wait, who is Jingjing? Tell me clear before I go to sleep. ”

4. There is a pregnant woman who is about to give birth, and the baby is moving around in the belly, so that she can't sleep soundly. That night, she tossed and turned again and couldn't sleep.

The husband asked, "Why don't you sleep yet?" ”

The pregnant woman said angrily, "Your son doesn't sleep!" ”

The husband thought for a while and said, "He should have known that he was going to come out, so he should be packing his luggage inside......