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The Jade Emperor listened to my words, and couldn't help but beckon me to sit down on a stone next to him. "Your method is good, but it will not be easy to drive away the demon clan. At the very least, you have to help me find out the demon clan's lair first, and know where they are hiding. ”

"It's only a matter of time, please rest assured Jade Emperor."

The Jade Emperor nodded: "There is one more thing in the Buddha Sect that makes me very troubled. ”

"The Jade Emperor might as well talk about it, maybe I have a way to solve it." In fact, I just didn't accept this sentence, the Jade Emperor would inevitably say it, and he made it clear that he was looking for me to help him.

The Jade Emperor thought for a moment, and then spoke: "Do you know that many members of the Buddhist Sect originally belonged to my Taoist family? ”

I nodded: "I don't know much detail, but I heard that the very famous Monkey King who defeated the Buddha was from Taoism." ”

The Jade Emperor said with a look of regret: "When Rulai and my Heavenly Court signed that talent exchange plan, I didn't know how I would agree. ”

"What kind of talent exchange program? I don't think I've ever heard of it! ”

The Jade Emperor shook his head and said, "I'm embarrassed to go out and publicize that kind of unfortunate agreement." The Buddha Sect got cheap, and he didn't speak! You don't know, you should. ”

"What does this agreement say?"

The Jade Emperor beckoned to Tai Bai Xing. "Come on."

Tai Bai Xing saluted first, and then spoke: "The main purpose of this agreement back then was to exchange what is available and what is available, mutual benefit and reciprocity, according to the plan, Heavenly Court needs to train a few powerful new members, and then the Buddha Sect will allocate a few of them to convert to the Buddha Sect. On the other hand, Buddhism also needs to train a few new disciples to return to my immortal sect. ”

"That should be fine, huh? Isn't this a very ordinary collaboration? ”

"If you really want to cooperate honestly, forget it, but Buddhism and us have to cheat. There is a purple bamboo fairy under my immortal gate, you mortals may only have heard of Journey to the West, know about Sun Wukong, in fact, there is also a purple bamboo fairy. The strength is on par with Sun Wukong. These two are our land exchanges. ”

"Since you said that the Buddha Sect is cheating, did they give you two waste disciples?"

"Not bad at all." Tai Bai Xing said angrily: "The two disciples sent by the Buddha Sect, one is called Jiahe, and the other is called Nimo. Those Buddhist scriptures of the Buddha Sect are very familiar with the memorization, and the combat skills are the same. What do you think our Heavenly Court wants the two bookshelves back for? We don't recite the Buddha. It's useless to ask for scriptures! ”

"No wonder you say you're losing a lot!"

The Jade Emperor couldn't help but say: "Later, we also asked them to be replaced, but the Buddha Sect said that these two are the most exquisite Buddhist disciples of Buddhism. ”

I nodded: "In a sense, these two are indeed profound Dharma, but they can only be Dharma, and there is no actual combat content. Buddhism is very good at literary games, and all Buddhist scriptures are based on the debate ideas of the two classics, paradox and hypothetical, and if you read it, you will definitely be encircled in it. ”

The Jade Emperor asked suspiciously, "What is the basis of paradoxes and assumptions?" ”

"It's hard to explain. I'll give you two analogies to get you a rough idea. A paradox is a positive and negative story. Let's say two words. The first sentence reads: I am correct in what follows. The second sentence reads: My above sentence is wrong. Who do you think is right? ”

The Jade Emperor immediately began to mutter: "The words above are right, and the words below are wrong." If the above one is correct, then the following sentence should be correct if the above is wrong. But if the second sentence is correct. That means the above sentence should be wrong. The above sentence saying that the following is wrong should be interpreted in reverse to mean that the following sentence is wrong...... Wrong...... Right...... Right...... Wrong...... Dizzy! ”

I smiled and said, "Got it?" That's the paradox. No matter how you interpret it, it's not right. ”

"Understood." Not only the Jade Emperor, but even the gods below nodded violently one by one, obviously they were also dizzy just now.

"And what about the hypothetical basis you are talking about?" Tai Bai Xing asked.

"Let's put it this way." I explained, "A super simple example. Someone hung their calligraphy and paintings on a rope for an exhibition, and when you went to see it, I put a sign next to it to indicate that you had walked into the area behind the exhibition area. So the calligraphy and paintings you see are either a blank sheet of paper, or only a few ink dots printed through the paper. At this time, others are looking at the calligraphy and painting from the front, constantly praising how good the calligraphy and painting are, but you can't see what is good. The reason for this is that you've been looking at the back of the calligraphy and painting. Of course, nothing good can be seen. ”

The Jade Emperor immediately shouted, "I understand. It's just that you start up with a false beginning, and then no matter how hard you try, you can only follow the idea of the person who is assuming that beginning, because you get the foundation wrong as soon as you come up. ”

I smiled and nodded: "The Jade Emperor is wise." If someone assumes that there is no such thing as Reiki, then you will certainly not succeed in studying mana on this basis. It's the same with Buddhism, why are so many people trapped. In fact, he is also the basis of assumptions. Buddhism first assumes that people can accumulate merit by suffering after birth, and then they can enjoy happiness in the next life, so that everyone is drawn into his arms. In fact, Buddhism has nothing to do with reincarnation, the dead are all in the hands of your Ten Hall Yama, and they have no right to interfere at all. But as soon as everyone came up, they went into a misunderstanding, so they were always deceived. This time the agreement you signed with the Buddha sect is the same, you think that exchanging talents with each other must be to exchange the best things for each other, but they took advantage of this loophole to send you two living bookshelves, and the result is that you suffer a loss. ”

The Jade Emperor said with some sadness: "Actually, later we secretly contacted Sun Wukong and Zizhu Fairy, and both of them have always wanted to return to Xianmen. ”

I looked at the Jade Emperor suspiciously: "They want to come back?" Can't you keep them with the power of the Immortal Gate? When they return, can the Buddha still rob it? ”

Tai Bai Xing shook his head instead of the Jade Emperor and said: "Sun Wukong has a diamond headband stuck on his head, and the purple bamboo fairy has a jade ring on his waist, as long as Guanyin's spell is together, the two of them will die and live without pain, and they will have to go back obediently when they run back, or they can only die of pain." ”

"Zizhu Fairy, I don't know. Didn't Sun Wukong's hoop be removed when he became a Buddha? ”

"Take it off?" Taibai said with a mocking smile: "If you really take it away, you won't be able to defeat the Buddha!" Sun Wukong has actually always missed his mentor back then, and the legendary Tang Seng. It's just a jailer, and he learned a tight spell to be responsible for guarding Sun Wukong to prevent him from escaping. Buddhism has always flaunted compassion, and has been saying all day long that if I don't go to hell, who will go to hell. And finally? Everyone has gone to hell, and if you don't sit in Elysium and enjoy his blessings? Who saw him go to hell? The stories that you have circulated in the mortal world are all the propaganda strategies of the Buddhism, and Guanyin is actually the image ambassador of the public relations department of the Buddhism. Specially responsible for conducting propaganda. ”

A guy with a strange face and a strange appearance wearing an official uniform similar to an emperor's robe also complained: "That Guanyin is the most insidious, and he actually made a child Guanyin said that he specializes in treating infertility, and deceived a large group of mortals who ran to burn incense and worship the Buddha, but in fact, what does it matter to her whether she has children or not?" The souls of the dead are all in the hands of my ten halls of Yama, if we don't send the reincarnated ghosts to those women's bodies, how can we give birth to children? She thinks she is Nuwa Niangniang, she can create people at will? ”

An immortal official with dragon horns stood up, and it looked like it must be the dragon king. He also complained indignantly: "That's it." Those Buddhas are still doing something to purify sentient beings all day long. Help the people ask for rain. I have eight thousand rain soldiers in the dragon clan, and there are four gods of thunder, lightning, wind and rain in the heavenly court, what is the matter with their Buddhism in the next rain? Who will rain on Guanyin and Nyolai? Every time, we get information about where it's going to rain. Then I went to that place and said to help the people ask for rain. It's purely cheating. When it comes to rain, they can't even compare to youkai. There are a lot of youkai who do know how to rain tricks. ”

As soon as the king of Hades and this dragon king said this, the other earth immortals immediately launched a Buddhist sect criticism meeting, and all kinds of messy things came out. Anyway, it can be summed up in one meaning - Buddhism is swaggering and deceiving under the banner of heaven.

I hurriedly opened my mouth to interrupt the criticism meeting of the gods and immortals, and if I continued to talk like this, I would enter the stage of scolding the street. "Actually, I think Heavenly Court is not inferior to the Buddha in terms of strength, the key problem is that benevolence is not enough."

The Jade Emperor was taken aback. "What? Not benevolent enough? We're all pinching our noses and swallowing coptis, what else should we do? ”

I smiled and said, "You should learn more from Buddhism, people have achieved benevolence on the face, but you have done benevolence on the inside." Therefore you are not as virtuous as they are. ”

"So what to do?"

"The problem of Heavenly Court is a long-term backlog problem. The Huairou policy is no longer working. In my opinion, just cut through the mess quickly, and do it absolutely. ”

Tai Bai Xing asked cautiously, "What do you mean?" ”

"Heavenly Court's force, number of personnel, material reserves, and sphere of influence, this qiē is superior to that of Buddhism. How many people do you count in the Buddhist sect? How many people are there in Heavenly Court? Look at the mortal world again. Now the mortal world thinks that Buddhism and Xianmen belong to the category of Buddhism, and everyone thinks that Rulai is the boss of this Buddhist land. You're just out to play tricks. You can't be slow anymore when you get mixed up in this role, and once the Buddha Sect feels that his power is almost expanding and starts to exclude you, you will have no power to fight back. ”

"So how do we solve it?"

"Didn't all the immortals just now report that the Buddha Sect pretended to be a Heavenly Court force to grab credit? Then we'll just smash their signs. ”

"Smashing the sign?"

"Didn't Guanyin claim that she could make those mortal women pregnant and give birth to children? You send some people to keep an eye on all the temples that send children to Guanyin, and record all those who go there to ask for children. These people who were recorded, let him forget about it. ”

Hades was startled when he heard this: "Isn't it too poisonous?" ”

"Do you want to be a little more poisonous or do you want to be replaced?"

"Then I'd better be a little more poisonous!" Hades quickly sat down and stopped talking.

I immediately said to the Dragon King again, "Didn't you say that the disciples of the Buddha Sect always find out your rain information before running to those places to pretend to beg for rain?" ”

"yes!" The Dragon King said bitterly: "Every time I get the rain order from Heavenly Court, they will arrive first and pretend to beg for rain. In fact, where is the rain they ask for, we just do things according to the rules. Now there is no one to worship in my Dragon King Temple, the incense is about to be broken, and our Dragon King of the Four Seas has been gnawing at the old book during this time, which is really miserable! ”

I nodded, "That's easy." In the future, the Jade Emperor will still issue rain orders, but the Dragon King must be given a certain amount of free space and allowed to temporarily change his hexagram according to the situation. If the dragon king arrives at the rain point and finds that the Buddha sect is pretending to be you again to perform and beg for rain. You immediately go somewhere else to rain or simply go home. Anyway, you don't rain where they ask for it, and if you do it a few more times, mortals won't believe them anymore. ”

The Dragon King nodded when he heard this, and the Jade Emperor also agreed with this plan.

I pointed to the plague god and the god of decay and said, "Didn't the Buddha say that if you believe in them, you can avoid disasters and diseases by burning incense all day long?" You two have nothing to do with going out and about. If you see someone who worships the Buddha and wants to go to the sick and eliminate the disaster, you should stay at his house for one night, don't kill people, just keep your breath, so that the publicity effect will be better. Whoever wants to worship the Buddha to eliminate disasters will make him so moldy that he wants to commit suicide, and whoever wants to worship the Buddha to get sick will make him sick and can't even get out of bed. By the way, didn't the fairies of the Dao Immortal Sect just say that the Buddha Sect likes to engage in any merit incense? ”

A beautiful fairy stood up and said, "Yes. Buddhism asks believers to pay for their temples. Sometimes the money is used to build roads. Although building roads is a good thing, it is not all the money of those believers, and it is not the road built by the Buddhas themselves. All of them who pay for it. And they gave a stick of incense. It is said that it is merit incense, and after going home and lighting it, put the ashes in water and drink it to cure diseases. ”

"So can these incense really cure diseases?"

"How is that possible!" The fairy said angrily: "If you eat some fragrant ash to cure the disease, what do you want the doctor to do?" However, those incense incense has indeed blessed a little faint potential, and when you go back and eat it, you can refresh your mind, and mortals don't know that they think it really works. ”

"That's good. In the future, in addition to continuing to work on your own, you fairies who rescued the wounded will also keep an eye on those who have taken merit and incense, and go back to concentrate on sending the news to the king of Hades. I said to Hades again: "If you receive the list given to you by the fairy, let Black and White Impermanence go to these houses at night to name them one by one, and the incense of merit will become the incense of broken souls." I see who would dare to eat it. ”

The Jade Emperor clapped his hands and said, "It's really enough, but after a long time like this, there will be chaos, right?" ”

"As I said, it's a quick thing to cut through the mess. The Buddhism and you are so closely integrated that there are many things that cannot be explained clearly. They are like poison that has penetrated into your arms. Now the only way to get rid of it is to cut off your own arm. It must have hurt people in a short period of time, but it will be fine after this stage. In the future, you should step up your propaganda, learn from Buddhism, and send more low-level personnel to go out for a run. You don't have contact with mortals all day long, and of course people don't know what you have done. In the future, if it rains, you should also send some Taoist priests or something to do it, and then it will rain again. If anyone does good deeds and accumulates virtues, don't give him some benefits and run away like you do now. If you want to show a spirit in the air so that people can see that you have arrived, it is best to say a few words to encourage others to do more good deeds and accumulate virtue in the future, so that mortals will know that it is actually the heavenly court that manages their fortune, not the Buddha. By the way, and Hades. Your side is the point. What mortals are most afraid of is death, don't you want to recite all the good and bad things that this person has done in his life when you hook your soul? In the future, just talk about it in the world, don't be yin, let them see your soul and explain public morality and bad deeds, especially those who worship Buddha, good deeds are considered public virtues, and believing in Buddhism is not public morality. Let's see who will believe in them in the future. ”

Erlang God said beside him: "Isn't there going to be a fight like this?" ”

"If you don't fight, what's the matter with your plan to form an alliance with them?"

"Good strategy." The Jade Emperor smiled and said to Taibai: "Record all this, and I will do it according to this in the future." ”

"It's been noted."

The Jade Emperor immediately said to me again, "It seems that you are indeed of great use to the Heavenly Court. This time you offended the Buddha, it can be regarded as going out for the heavenly court, don't worry, I will send someone to protect you. ”

"No, no, no." I'm a double spy, and I'm surrounded by bodyguards from the court, so how am I going to mix in the future? "Actually, the Jade Emperor really has a heart, just help me take care of my city more. Personally, I am not afraid of them at all, the soul of an adventurer cannot be imprisoned, and the Buddha sect cannot do anything to me. ”

"You can rest assured. Your city Heavenly Court will definitely help you protect it, and the Buddha Sect will not dare to do anything to you. ”

I thanked the Jade Emperor first and then said: "The Jade Emperor just said that Sun Wukong and the Zizhu Fairy want to return to the Immortal Gate, I don't know if you still have contact recently?" ”

"Of course there is a connection. Why do you ask this? ”

"If it's convenient, let them come to me, or tell me a time and place to meet with them. There are a lot of great skills of the two immortals and Buddhas, but I also have a lot of side doors. The King Kong headband on Sun Wukong's head and the jade ring of the purple bamboo fairy can't be opened with your right method, maybe my crooked idea will be effective. ”

When the Jade Emperor heard this, he immediately asked excitedly, "Can you really open those two things?" As long as you can help them return to the Immortal Gate, I can give you 10 ancient divine beasts to help you take care of your home and courtyard, and fight on the battlefield with you. ”

"That's not sure, I don't know if I don't try. But since the Jade Emperor has offered such good conditions, I will definitely work hard. If we really succeed, we are mutually beneficial! ”

After talking to the Jade Emperor about something inconsequential, I was sent back to Issinger, and this peculiar landscape painting was left behind in Isenger. This painting is not a spatial passage, from here it is impossible to directly reach the Heavenly Court, and the people of the Heavenly Court cannot reach this side. What I just saw with Erlang God is actually an illusion, and the space in this painting is a bit similar to a holographic projection, which can be used for remote meetings, but it can't be used as a channel. The Jade Emperor said that in the future, he would arrange people to work in this space day and night, and if there was anything, I would only need to send someone into the illusion space of this painting to inform Heavenly Court.

Regarding the matter of Sun Wukong and the Purple Bamboo Fairy, the final plan given by the Jade Emperor was for me to go to them myself. It's not that the Jade Emperor doesn't want to pull the strings, but because they are regarded by the Buddha Sect as dead, and there is no way to pull the strings. Unless I go to their cave to find them myself, they won't be able to meet me anyway. However, the Jade Emperor gave two detailed maps, and it was easy to go if you wanted to.

When Erlang God left Esinger, I quickly killed the demons' lair again, and in the past two days, I have been busy running on both sides of the Heavenly Court Demon Lair, speaking of which, I am the middle of the four major forces, it seems to be full of bulls, in fact, I am also running errands.

Their first reaction when they saw me was to grab me and ask if it had succeeded, so I had to shake my head. Shui Xuan asked a little nervously, "Is it true that Heavenly Court has already transformed its potential?" ”

"It's not."

"Did you steal it?" Yin Yao asked.

"Not really."

Qiong Lin followed and asked, "What's going on with that?" ”

"Please, don't be so anxious, okay? You've seen big scenes before, and there are some things you should be aware of. Heavenly Court is not a vegetable market, can you walk around casually? This time, Heavenly Court sent a lot of immortals to pick me up, escorting me all the way to the Jade Emperor, and when I came back, the team doubled, how do you say I stole it? ”

"Do you see the mana, then?"

I said with some uncertainty: "It's weird to say. I actually saw three clusters of purple light in the heavenly court. ”

Qiong Lin looked at the water and said, "Three regiments? Could it be that the mana has been divided? ”

Xiaoxu shook his head: "I didn't see it again, you ask me, who am I asking?" ”

Qiong Lin immediately turned to me: "Can you judge the type of demonic energy?" ”

I shook my head: "The size of the three clusters of purple energy varies, and the closest one is in the Dou Rate Palace. The other two groups were in the Tiantai Pavilion and the other was far away, and a little shadow could be seen in the light. ”

Yin Yao said: "The possibility of Dou Rate Palace is relatively high, it is a place dedicated to alchemy. The one that is particularly far away, I guess it may be Chang'e's Jade Rabbit. ”

"Huh? Jade Rabbit is also a monster? ”

"Although the Jade Rabbit is Chang'e's pet, it is actually an authentic monster. However, Chang'e's identity is relatively special, and Heavenly Court has always turned a blind eye to her. There is also a certain possibility of the Tiantai Pavilion in the Three Groups of Demon Qi, but if you have the opportunity to steal it, it is best to go to the Dou Rate Palace first. ”

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