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Crazy Lee, it's back!

Under the round-the-clock surveillance of England's pervasive Great Super Paparazzi system, almost all England fans knew the news before the stuffy man's right foot even had time to step out of London International Airport...... And on Li Tongfan's way back to Newcastle, thousands of paparazzi tracked all the way, like an endless zombie siege in Resident Evil, all over the railways and highways and other places where the madman Lee could appear, monitoring and reporting on the bits and pieces of the madman Lee's return anytime and anywhere around the clock-"...... The Sun reports mysteriously for you: At 10:15 a.m., the madman Lee sneaks out of the London airport alone in disguise and sneaks out of the London airport, and has a ...... with Alain Shearer, who has been waiting at the airport for a long time.

“…… Here's an exclusive reveal from the Observer: At 12:24 p.m., Madman Lee and Shearer were having dinner at a motel near the Medsay 3 gas station, and Madman Lee ate three deep-fried onion rings with a high fat content......"

“…… According to an urgent report from the Times: Crazy Lee did not make any eye contact with Alan Shearer when he got in the car, and the relationship was suspected to have broken down with Newcastle's 'best partner'......"

“…… Mirror Secret Report: At 13:55 in the afternoon, the madman Li got off the bus halfway and peed in the wind without public morality on the side of the highway......"

“……”

The news of Li Tongfan's return to Newcastle is like a lively stage play that is being broadcast live on satellite around the world, and everything on the way, no matter how big or small, is vividly displayed in front of many gossip men and women and some people with ulterior motives...... If Lao Li knew that even he couldn't hold back the glorious deeds of secretly getting out of the car to pee, it was on the headlines of the website of "The Sun", and was reprinted by many influential media, it is estimated that this product will be scared like Aunt Zhou Botong with the same surname in "East Evil and West Poison", and will shh back back...... The mighty and endless broadcast has been following Li Tongfan's car into Newcastle. Pen ~ fun ~ pavilion www.biquge.info

Finally, at 14:30 in the afternoon, Li Tongfan and his entourage entered the rigberton training base at a gallop............ And for the next three days, the report about the madman Li suddenly disappeared a little.

Since the madman Lee entered the training base in Newcastle, the reporters have tried their best to pretend to be weeders, collect heating bills, collect gas bills, and so on, and do everything possible to infiltrate the base, but they have not been able to catch any clues about the madman Lee...... Compared with the vigorous reports that followed all the way three days ago, the madman Li in these three days was like a loud fart put into the wind by an nameless homeless man, and it stinked for a while, and after only a while, it quickly disappeared...... Maniac Li ...... What the hell is this stuff doing?

Thinking about the various 'human tragedies' that this Chinese madman had caused in the major stadiums before, many people on the Europa continent raised such questions.

“…… Manchester United are at the top of the table, no one can come back to steal the glory of the Red Devils, and the final trophy belongs to Old Trafford, there is no doubt about it! ”

Uncle Ferguson's speech on the official website seems to be full of confidence, but after careful consideration, it is a bit lacking in confidence.

Everyone knows in the entire five major leagues, whether it is home or away, the invincible Ferguson has never defeated the team of the crazy Lee, which has simply become a well-known heart disease of the old Scottish man, and some people even speculate that the reason why Ferguson has not retired is not to say that he wants the Champions League again, but to be able to defeat the crazy Lee once in order to have a chance!

“…… The madman Lee is back, so the 'troubled times' of the Premier League are coming to an end, because the tyrant from China is about to restore his iron-blooded rule in Great Britain! ”

That's the comment made by England's traditional football TV show "A Week of Green".

Arsene Wenger said: "Arsenal still have a chance, but the arrival of Crazy Lee has put pressure on me and the players......

Benitez said: "I ended Newcastle's total win, it's a shame that Crazy Lee wasn't there at that time, and now, maybe in the Carabao Cup final we will have a chance to meet again, and Liverpool and I are both excited for the next meeting......

'I chose to coach Chelsea on an interim basis because I can speak directly to the best managers in the world and now that he's back, I can't wait to ......

Moyes said, "......"

Almost everyone who has something to do with football, in the last 72 hours, will be asked countless times by reporters about the return of the madman Lee, for a while, in the football world, it seems that only being asked this question is a symbol of status and honor, and those who are not asked by reporters seem extremely lost...... However, no matter how people discuss it, no matter what happens in the outside world, in the past three days, the madman Li has not even shown up at all, and has been 'diving'...... And in many cases, the more mysterious things are, the more they can attract people's attention. Media fans are curious about the 'evaporation of the world' of the madman Lee, while those opponents who will face Newcastle next in the game are more frightened because of the unknown...... "Really, my life is so miserable...... It's really bitter! ”

Uncle Van Basten, the head coach of Ajax and the Dutch version of 'Xianglin', touched his new board and burst into tears: "God, why do you want that damn madman to come back at this time if he doesn't come back sooner or later...... My Champions League top 8, my Ajax revival plans...... Everything hangs in the air!! 55555, no, I'm protesting, I'm protesting UEFA's fixtures!! ”

Of course, not all people are as afraid of stuffy men as Fan-'Xianglin', and there are also those who sacrifice their lives for righteousness and are not afraid of death-"...... Wow ha, the madman Lee is finally back... Hahaha, it's time to come back, I can finally prove to the world at St. James that West Bromwich Albion is the team that can beat the madman Lee, and in the second leg of the English League Cup semi-finals a day later, I'm going to make the sensationalist madman fall to his knees in front of my Tony Mobley's handmade trousers and sing 'Conquest' in a heartfelt way! Hahahaha......"

…… Rigberton Training Base.

Sitting in the largest tactical room in the base, the hammers watched the West Bromwich Albion coach playing on the TV and was jumping up and down to issue a challenge, and they all cast their eyes to the same corner...... "Damn, this thing, it's fucking the opposite......" Li Tongfan was gritting his teeth and roaring: "It has always been Lao Tzu who teases others, and today someone actually teased Lao Tzu...... If Lao Tzu can't kill you, he won't be called Crazy Li anymore! ”

The hammers of the first team sweated profusely, and when they saw that the enraged leader was already on the verge of going berserk, they drew a cross on their chests in unison, and began to gloat and pray for Tony Mobley, who was smiling triumphantly on the screen.................. Three days later.

St James' Park.

“…… The game is about to start and Newcastle will have to score three goals in the next 90 minutes to secure their place in the English League Cup final, having lost 2-0 to West Bromwich Albion in the first leg. ”

In St James's commentary box, unlike previous games, Sester today was like a 'little blue pill', and he behaved extremely violently: "However, I believe that three goals are not difficult for the Magpies, because their invincible coach Maniac Lee has returned to the command box......"

Yes, when the muffled black figure finally appeared in front of the home team's coach's box, the more than 60,000 Newcastle fans in the stands were like old virgins who had been hungry for thousands of years and saw the little wildflowers that had been stripped naked and picked for others, and they raised their necks one by one and shouted............ 55555, we are so excited, Mr. God, you are finally back!! ”

"Victory! Victory!! We need to win!! We can't wait......"

"Lee, let damn Mobley, get down on your knees under your Armani trench coat and lick your toes!! Don't show mercy and insult him severely...... Wow oh oh!! ”

“……”

It wasn't until this time that West Bromovich's head coach Tony Mobley found that the atmosphere at St. James today seemed to be different from the past, not very good - 99.99% of the people in the stands of St. James's Park, which can accommodate more than 60,000 people, were Newcastle fans, and the more than 5,000 brave West Brombo fans who came with him in the morning did not know where they had died...... At this moment, there were less than 100 West Bromwich Albion fans in the St. James' stands, and they were trembling in the fierce 'eyes' of the opposing party, and they didn't even dare to let out a fart of more than 20 decibels, let alone put up some heart-warming banners and slogans...... "Woo, these fucking cowards!! ”

Tony Mobley could only curse hard to show his disappointment.

But he knew that the more than 5,000 cheering troops he brought with him didn't want to come, but they couldn't come at all, and at this moment, more than 5,000 people were still blocking the streets of Newcastle City.................. "Damn, what the fuck are you guys going on, get out of the way, we still have to watch the game!" ”

On Avenue of Roses, a convoy of about 600 West Bromwich Albion fans was blocked less than 1,000 meters from St. James' Park, like a big python that had been nailed seven inches, and no matter how much it struggled, it couldn't get past it...... "Wow, get out of the way?" How to make? I mean, do you have a fucking last name? I didn't see a car accident in front of me, I don't believe it, the blood is flowing like the tap water that doesn't need money......"

Opposite the West Bromwich Albion fans, a bald Newcastle man glared at him without showing weakness and anger, and the 'fire of justice' burned in his eyes, and the West Bromwich Albion turned his head...... Then, he cautiously turned around and asked the young man next to him in a low voice: "Hey, Newton, do you think our method will work?" ”

The bus driver, John Newton, thumped his chest and said, "No problem, David, don't worry...... The four main roads leading to the stadium were blocked by us, some had car accidents, some had miscarriages, some middle school students fought in groups, some ran naked, some hanged, some beat children, and some sold Lao Tzu...... Hehe, there are all kinds of accidents, keep these West Bromm mongrels and don't even think about going into the stadium to cheer on that damn clown Tony Mobley......"

"Hero, my admiration for you is like a torrent of rain...... Take me as an apprentice! The bald head looked at the smiling silver John Newton dumbfounded, and suddenly there was an urge to bow and worship, but at this time...... In the distance, in the St. James's Stadium, which looked like a white palace, there was a sudden burst of earth-shattering cheers that soared into the sky...... "Damn, the game is on!" ”

John Newton waved his hand triumphantly: "Mission accomplished, call it a day...... Quick, let's get out of here, let's go to the bar to watch the game......"

At this moment, West Bromwich Albion fans who came from afar were surprised to find that the road that was originally blocked like a sardine can suddenly opened up, and those Newcastle people who had car accidents, gave birth, and fought disappeared...... However, by this time, they had already squeezed into the stadium.

………… Forcing - Michael Owen knocked the football back to Alan Smith behind him, and the stands erupted in a tsunami-like cheer, like a thunderclap on the ground, which rushed from behind him, startling Tony Mobley, who was standing on the edge of the command seat, staggered, and almost fell in a doggy position that was standard enough to be loaded into textbooks...... Mobley was shocked to find that today's St. James suddenly became like a raging Atlantic, with rough waves, lightning and thunder that were many times more difficult than those of previous days...... "Could it be that Madman Lee still has the effect of stimulants?" ”

Tony Mobley's heart suddenly felt like fifteen buckets of water—up and down.

But then I thought about it again: hehe, even if it's a doping Lao Tzu, I'm not afraid, Newcastle's recent decline in form is faster than the stock market on Wall Street, even an opponent like Norwich can play 0:0 in St. James, Lao Tzu's team is better than a ragtag army like Norwich I don't know how many times, as long as you don't lose 3:0, how can you count him as a madman Li is God, hehe, and he can't go back...... Thinking of this, Tony Mobley suddenly rejoiced, he glanced at the opponent's coach's bench standing not far from his right, threw a few provocative winks, and said no...... in his heart...... Three minutes into the game, Newcastle dominated the field, but it was not because of how crazy their attack was, but because West Bromwich Albion took the initiative to retreat and set up the legendary 10-0-0 iron bucket formation, which made the tight defense of their own penalty area ...... watertight."

Sester, the narrator, bought a pass.

Then, with the most shameless and silvery emphasis, he continued with a strange smile: "Tony Morrion vowed to defeat the madman Lee before the game, and now it seems that his so-called solution is to put up a bucket formation, and he is delusional to rely on the tight defense and the advantage of two home balls in the first leg to force a place in the final...... Hehe, the iron bucket formation is indeed a problem for the world's surname, but as far as I know, even many world-class managers are ugly to use the iron bucket formation when facing the crazy Lee...... Wha! I bet Mobley will die ugly......"

Gary Lineker, the newly married old partner next to him, sweated violently and secretly stabbed Sester who was in an inexplicable state of excitement: "Hey, pay attention to the position of the commentator!" ”

"Damn, as the most loyal fan of Crazy Lee, I've long been upset with that damn Mobley, stand a fart!" Sester blurted out without thinking.

Lineker: "......"

……“goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooal！！！！ ”

In the 18th minute of the game, Sester, who had been waiting for a long time, finally seized the opportunity and shouted happily: "Goal la la Finally a goal! Oh oh oh oh oh, West Bromwich Albion's bucket formation held out for less than eighteen minutes before it collapsed......"

“…… Waha, it's Michael Owen again, Owen always stepped up every time the team scored the most goals, and he has become another banner of St James's after Alan Shearer"

“…… This time, the 1.73-meter-tall Owen pressed the 1.5-meter** central defender Leon Bryant and unbelievably headed Juan Mata's corner into the goal...... It looks like Newcastle are invincible as long as Crazy Lee is on the sidelines!! ”

On the sidelines, Tony Mobley was as earthy as he was.

Seeing Michael Owen on the field in a glider pose to celebrate the goal, he was in the mood to go back to his mother's womb and 'reinvent the wheel', if it weren't for the guardrail in the dugout not high enough, Mobley would have pulled off his belt and hung himself on the sidelines...... "This, what the fuck is going on?" ”

Why is the 'Iron Lock Hengjiang Defense Array', which I have been rehearsing for 2 weeks, so vulnerable?

You must know that for this semi-final, Mobley can be described as having worked hard. Prior to this, West Bromwich Albion had been using this 10-0-0 tactic in three consecutive Premier League games, and even if they were away to Tottenham Hotspur and Aston Villa, they had sent Martin O'Neill and Juan de Ramos a big duck ............ Why didn't the mystical stunt I learned from the mysterious ancient kingdom of the East work? Mobley didn't understand.

"Defense!! Resist me...... Resist!! ”

Tony Mobley, whose face was like an earthy rabbit with a tail, shouted with red eyes: "Give me a top, ahhh ”

Before he could finish speaking, a large pile of water bottles, fruit cores and rotten eggs flew down from the stands like meteors, and there was a terrible scream from the front of the West Bromwich Albion coach's box: Ahhhh......h Help~~~~~ Li Tongfan almost choked to death when he saw this scene: Damn, Mr. Tony, you are so miserable, so tragic...... However, after expressing a little sympathy, Li Tongfan immediately turned his face and rushed to the sidelines mercilessly, making gestures again and again - attack!

Attack hard for Lao Tzu!

Such a familiar and cheap offensive gesture is exactly the unique signature technique of the madman Lee's change of tactics.

Such a familiar gesture made the hammers on the pitch boil with blood, kicking the ball one by one and playing with their lives, if it was a rugby game on the field now, it is estimated that the opponent would even disappear on Mars with the ball...... But there is someone who is more bloody than the hammers today, and that is the fans in the stands.

“…… Lalala, there is only one madman in the world, and you are our rice bucket...... You are full of courage...... You are invincible...... Advance! The madman who brought us victory! Advance!! Victory rice bucket from China! ”

The fans in the stands are singing this song one by one with the spirit of the first **.

Although he had to listen to this song dozens of times in every competition before, and Lao Li's ears were calloused, but when he heard this song again in St. James every other month, Li Tongfan suddenly had a feeling of **...... At this moment, the situation on the pitch changed dramatically - Juan Mata scurried down the right side of the pitch, Arshavin rushed down the left flank, holding up his cheating high as he ran, shouting and waving for the ball: "Pass, pass, pass, this ......."

Echoing the [Tsar] Juan Mata's 'Confused Heart', he gave the ball a hard forward gesture and then made a big foot transfer pose...... "Quick, left!" Pay attention to the left! ”

Tony Mobley screamed as if someone had stabbed him in the ass. West Bromwich Albion's defenders did not dare to slack off in the slightest and immediately split two men to defend Arshavin...... However, who knew that such an honest child as Mata had followed the madman Lee for a long time and learned badly, he actually just made a fake move, teasing West Bromwich Albion's defenders, when he suddenly rushed under his feet, and an extremely wind-scratching man disappeared in front of West Bromwich Albion's right full-back Karl...... "Fool, chase me!" ”

Seeing that Mata had rushed to his hinterland, and Karl was still stupidly looking around for someone, Tony Mobley, who was standing on the sidelines, was almost incontinent with anger...... "Chase?" ”

How can it be? Juan Mata will tell you what it means to be unable to catch up.

West Bromwich Albion full-back Karl had just had time to turn around, and Mata was already like a Harley-Davidson with a goal, roaring into the penalty area, facing the panicked swarming opponent defenders, Mata did not choose to pass, but cut inside laterally and made a series of feints to shoot ...... "once...... Twice...... Triple ......"

The whole of St. James was arrogantly counting the number of feints...... Finally, on the fourth shot, Mata was already like a general in the reviewing troops, calmly completing the 'cruise' from the right side of the West Bromwich Albion penalty area to the left, and then did not hesitate to get up and shoot...... Sou!

A hanging shot like a flying fairy out of the sky!!

The curved trajectory was like a deadly rope swinging in the moonlight, strangling West Bromwich Albion's last shred of hope for luck...... "G-O-A-L~~~~~~~" 2:0, from Juan Mata's individual performance, Spain's [Angel Wings] is the magician on the football field, he defeated all opponents by himself!! ”

“…… Although Mata's performance in the first few rounds was not satisfactory, and the winger Cristiano Ronaldo, who is the same name as him in the Premier League, is replicating the magic of last season's 42 goals, but at the critical moment, the madman Lee is back, and with him Juan Mata's unparalleled competitive form!! Cristiano Ronaldo needs to pay attention because his opponent is back!! ”

Sidelines.

Tony Mobley's heart is like ashes.

As soon as the goal was scored, the aggregate score between the two teams was 2:2, and the last vestiges of West Bromwich Albion's advantage had evaporated.

Moreover, this is also the home of the Magpies, and looking at the wolf-like Newcastle fans on the stage, Mobley feels like a pure little virgin who has stumbled into the bandits' den, and no matter how much she struggles, she can't escape the fate of being wheeled...... So, Mobley was about to pull out his trouser belt and hang himself on the railing of the command seat so as not to really be wheeled, but at this time he was desperate to find out that he was wearing sweatpants today and did not have a trouser belt...... "...... West Bromwich Albion head coach Tony Mobley was in a hurry to unbuckle his trouser belt on the sidelines, was this his unique way of relieving pressure? Hahaha, that's big news...... He had vowed before the race that he would make the madman Lee fall under his trousers and sing 'Conquest', which now seems unattainable...... Oh, I'm sorry, I suddenly found out that this thing is wearing sweatpants today......"

Sester did his best to be sarcastic.

Fortunately, he was not a live commentator, and Mobley couldn't hear him for the time being.

Otherwise, Mobley, who was ashamed to death, would have to take off his sweatpants and twist them as a rope to hang himself...... Time flies by in a rage and astonishment.

The first half ended quickly, with Newcastle comfortably taking a 2-0 lead thanks to goals from Owen and Juan Mata, while Toni Mobley's meticulously organised 'Iron Lock Formation' became a pitiful laughing stock like a bunch of monkeys trying to fish the moon out of the water...... Fifteen minutes into the break, St James' cheers rang through the sky.

At this time, no one will doubt whether Newcastle will reach the final of the League Cup, because the madman Lee will solve all the doubts and tear up all difficulties for them.

The hearts of all the 'magpies' have already flown to Wembley Stadium. They were dreaming of the Magpies beating their opponents in the final and finally lifting the English League Cup trophy for their first title of the 08-09 season!

And the one who is about to bring them all this is the greatest coach in the history of the club, and there is no one.

Newcastle people, who have long been accustomed to the thrill of this Chinese falling from the sky to turn the tide at the most critical moment, ushered in the second half of the game with loud singing!

However, no one expected that at the beginning of the second half, Li Tongfan made substitution adjustments.

The audience was in an uproar!

Because assistant coach Alan Shearer made the exact same substitution not long ago, and at that time, that substitution brought a humiliating defeat - Andrei Shepchenko replaced Michael Owen!

Felipe Senderos replaces Steven Taylor!

...... "Wahaha, it's a replacement, it's such a replacement, Wahaha, I don't have to hang myself...... There is hope......"

Silver's laughter rang out.

West Bromwich Albion head coach Tony Mobley was excited as soon as he saw the substitution electronic sign played by the fourth official on the sidelines, as if he was at a decadent moment when he suddenly saw a "Viagra" scoop in front of him, and his eyes were full of red light with excitement!

He rushed to the sidelines, excitedly making tactical arrangements.

“…… Hey, hey, look over here, listen to me...... Poliga, Brent, you two give me a full push for Newcastle's centre-back, yes, that Swiss white pig...... Also, that old Ukrainian who has lost all his teeth, hehe, Olsen, you can get him alone! Haha......"

Tony Mobley jumps up and down from the sidelines.

"mlgbd," Shepchenko and Sendros, both of whom could understand English, gritted their teeth and thought to themselves: "Let you be abrupt, let you do it, the old men can't kill you!" ”

............ "What the fuck is going on?" ”

Five minutes later, when Tony Mobley watched the football being sent to his side by Crespo again, he thought that there must be smoke on his ancestral grave, but not green smoke, but unlucky black smoke...... Round and round, Newcastle scored a goal with each risk!

3：0！

"It's over! It's over......"

West Bromwich Albion head coach Toni Mobley is devastated.

He was about to take off his sweatpants and hang himself on the guardrail of the command seat, but at that moment, a burst of monkey-like laughter suddenly came from the St. James's stands, and all of them poured into his ears like pins and needles...... In an instant, Mobley's anger rose from his heart, and evil grew to the side of his guts.

He felt like a dog, a dog that had been cornered, and since there was no way out, he had to bare his teeth and show out his sharp teeth, even if he still broke his backbone and legs in the end, he had to leave his own tooth marks on his opponent's body...... So, Tony Mobley pointed at Sendros and roared: "Offense offense offense!!" Give me a sudden death of him, a sudden death of him, a sudden death......, ahhhh

At this time, Shepchenko rushed past Mobley's eyes, and Mobley, who was in a semi-crazy state, was immediately stimulated again: "Prevent him, give me ...... prevent him."

On the side, West Bromwich Albion's assistant coach Romon couldn't stand it anymore, found a shoe to cover his face, touched it from the seat in a backward way, and dragged the frightened Tony Mobley back!

The West Bromwich Albion players on the pitch began to strictly implement the tactical instructions issued by the manager in a state of madness............ Morrison got the ball and he sprinted with the ball to avoid Manzioni's defensive zone...... He pounced on Sendros like a rampaging tank, and he smiled proudly, because he knew that Senderos, who had just come on the pitch, was the weakness of Newcastle's defensive system......

“…… He's feintting...... Left? …… Rightward? Dazzling action...... Wow, it's about to face off directly...... Manzioni has retreated, and he has already started to prepare the 'big colander' Senderos to fill in as usual......"

“…… Morrison's eyes were full of murderous energy...... We're about to meet...... Cycling ...... Oh. Whoa, whoa......, whoa Is Senderos? Is it really Senderos? It's unbelievable, Morrison was cut off by Senderos like a bully!! ”

Buzz!

Seeing Senderos put his red panties on the outside, suddenly transformed into 'the world's No. 1 central defender Nesta' like Superman, and cut off Morrison's foot with a textbook-worthy sideways card position, even Newcastle fans were stunned...... "Whew, God, you're not going to drink too much TMD today, are you?" ”

n Many people asked such questions, according to Senderos's previous terrible form, how could he do such a bone-scratching position, such a bullish fork to break the ball, and such an accurate pass...... Hey, this pass, what's the matter?

Before the Newcastle fans could shout out the cheers on their lips, Senderos was seen suddenly revealing like a leaky balloon after a broken ball that was blown into the bone...... Because Senderos passed the ball to West Bromwich Albion's left winger, Chris Brent, ...... "made a mistake...... Senderos made a mistake! Sester exclaimed in pity.

"Wha...... Mistake, wooha, he missed...... See, that big fat man like a white pig made a mistake! Suddenly, suddenly, he died......"

Tony Mobley, who attempted suicide by hanging himself in sweatpants, saw the scene on the field and threw his neck back into a sinister, silvery laugh.

He didn't notice at all that the people around him were covering his face in shame.

Tony Mobley rushed like a Viagra ladybird: "Rush up, insert it for me, yes, yes, insert it from there......"

(To be continued)